


Second Chance at Forever

by Aly_Winchester



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: (eventual) Minor Dubious Content, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Esme, Angst, Blood, Death, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Language, Nightmares, Parental Relationships, Post Breaking Dawn, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Tension, Vampires, Violence, friendships, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:09:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 120,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10557752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aly_Winchester/pseuds/Aly_Winchester
Summary: In 1955, the love of Carlisle's life was ripped away in a brutal nomad attack. He spent decades trying to get over that loss, only for the shock of his life when, in 2005 at the wedding of his son Edward, he meets a girl named Abigail Goodwin; an exact match for his dead mate. A search for answers leads Carlisle down a road he never thought he'd go down again.





	1. Here Comes the Bride

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! Welcome to my first Twilight Saga story! I've been working on this one for awhile and I actually have a lot of it written, so I'm excited to share it with you! (Note: the rating is subject to change.) Thanks for reading, comments are love!

**-Minneapolis, MN** **1955-**

" _No_!"

It was Edward's voice that rang out over the silence that filled the house. It wasn't until that moment that anybody had realized Alice was in the middle of a vision, but one look between the two of them told them that whatever Alice saw, it was bad. _Very_ bad. A look of horror was crossed over both of their faces, and Jasper was by Alice's side in an instant to protect and comfort his obviously agitated mate. But she shook him off, looking at Edward desperately, who looked like he would be ill, if such a thing were possible for them. For a total of thirty seconds, neither of them could speak, no matter how much the other three tried to get them to, to explain what she saw. Neither of them could say the words, though, at least not out loud, but it was clear there was a silent conversation going on between them.

"Stay here," Edward said, reaching out to grip Alice's wrist. "We need to go. We'll be back." They didn't wait for any arguments or demands of an explanation; time was of the ultimate essence.

It was such a small decision that had been made to have such horrific consequences. Just a change of mind, turning down a street earlier than they intended and take a shortcut through an alley. They were racing against the clock, against time, against fate. But they had to get there before it came true, before they lost one of the most important people in their lives...the most important person in all of creation to Carlisle, their _mother_.

"Two more streets down!" Alice called over the rush of wind past their bodies. Luckily it was night and so they could run through the city without much of anyone noticing other than an odd gust of wind.

"No change?" Edward demanded and Alice's silence, the same vision running through her mind over and over, gave him all the answer that he needed. And so he pushed on, so close and yet it felt so far. "We need to find them, tell Carlisle what's happening, and get them out of there. We'll take care of the nomad." Alice gave an answering nod to his snarled out words and they pushed on.

Most of the time, confidence was key, but this time it did nothing but work against them. They were confident they saw the vision in time, confident they would get to Carlisle and their mother before tragedy struck. But confidence is what wound up failing them. They didn't run as fast as they should've, they didn't call out in warning like they should've—Carlisle and their mother would've surely heard them. And they would forever blame themselves for what happened.

First, the screeching sound of metal on metal filled their ears and made both of them freeze because they knew exactly what that sound was. Second, the furious, anguished, tortured roar of their father greeted their ears and they knew they would never forget that sound or anything about this night for the rest of their eternity.

"We're too late..." Edward murmured, skidding into the alley just as their mother's head was tossed into a burning barrel and Carlisle dropped to his knees. The nomad laughed, his deep crimson eyes sparkling with mirth and sick enjoyment as he watched the pain unfold over the group before him.

"You lose," he said in a sweet, sing-song of a voice. But that was the last thing he said as Edward finally snapped out of it, and allowed the nomad the honor of joining their beloved mother in the burning barrel.

* * *

**-Forks, WA 2006-  
** **-Abigail-**

For years, Abigail had been having the same dreams. Well, really they were more like nightmares as they always ended the exact same way: alone in a dark alley except for a man with glowing red eyes. He advanced on her faster than she ever thought possible, and with a large ripping noise, her head was off and all she could feel then was her body burning. She would always wake up in a cold sweat, sheets and clothes sticking to her, panting with exertion and fear, clinging to her pillows as if they would be able to save her. But she was always alone and nobody would ever be able to save her.

"Screw this," she mumbled as it had woken her up yet again, kicking off the blankets that were twisted around her trembling body so she could go shower off the sweat. It was only about six in the morning and she didn't have to be up for awhile, but whenever she had those dreams, she never could get back to sleep. At least it woke her up at six and not midnight like it used to. Waking up that early always made her feel exhausted and twitchy the whole day, especially when she didn't sleep until after eleven.

Grabbing some extra clothes, she padded down the hallway to the familiar bathroom. She and her friend Beth had left Seattle about seven the previous night after both their shifts at the hospital ended, and arrived about eleven. Abigail knew she could've driven them faster, but Beth had moved right from New York to Seattle so it wasn't often her friend got the chance to see small towns. So even though it was dark, she drove slower than she normally would've so Beth could take in what she could, and promised the blonde that she would show her around the next day. Bella's wedding was the next night and she wouldn't miss that for the world, but they had until about three to look around so she would make the most of it.

The bathroom hadn't changed a bit since she was a kid other than the new paper that lined the cupboards to protect the wood. When Abigail's parents died a little over a year before, the house had been left to her, and she had no idea what she wanted to do with it. It was all paid off so she didn't have to worry about that, but there were too many memories that became painful the more she thought about them. So she let it sit, paying only the gas bill to keep the heat on so the pipes didn't freeze in the Washington weather. Part of her wanted to sell it, but part of her knew that she couldn't; it was like selling her parents and her childhood all in one. So she kept it for them, but being back was bringing in the nostalgia and she knew she wouldn't be making decisions anytime soon as they could be considered rash and not very well thought through. It was a nice notion to be able to come back to it whenever she wanted, though, whether it was a mini-vacation like this, or she just needed to get away from city life.

The other utilities were turned on for their stay there for the week. Both women decided that they needed that time, needed the break, and Abigail was only too quick to offer up the house. The water cranked on and she turned it on hotter than she normally would've because of the cold sweats and shivers that took over her body after the dream. It seemed to be happening more and more often, nearly every night for a month now. It used to happen a couple times a year, but the closer it got to her going back to Forks, the more often the dreams happened. It was unsettling and it terrified her more than she was willing to admit. Y _ou're an ER nurse in a huge city. You've seen so much horror, the nightmares are nothing._ At least that's what she tried to tell herself, and it used to work, at least in the moment, but it wasn't anymore. Because as they happened more often, they were also getting more real, almost like she could feel it even though there was no pain. She felt the rip of her flesh, the burn of the fire.

"Stop," she scolded herself as she shed her clothes and stepped into the shower to wash away the sweat and her terror.

First Beach down at the La Push reservation was the first place she took Beth. Seeing as it was Washington, it was still cold, but it was as beautiful as Abigail remembered and she couldn't help but smile. She spent ages down here as a kid with her parents, the Blacks, the Clearwaters, the Ateras, and even Bella and Charlie when she was there for the summer. Bon fires and cookouts, surfing—well, attempting to—and swimming. Even in the rain, the humidity making the days warm enough. The day she took Beth wasn't right for any of that, besides the fact she and Beth were there alone, but the sun shining down on the small waves was beautiful enough by itself. Beth spent a good hour taking photos as she was an amateur photographer, but very good at it, at least Abigail thought so. She wasn't an art critic, though, however she did have a few hanging around her apartment back in Seattle of places Beth had taken pictures of.

"This is a photography gold mine," Beth said excitedly as she took another close-up of one of the larger pieces of salt-bleached driftwood that sat along the beach.

Abigail smiled and sat down on a larger log, pulling her legs up under her to cross. She knew she could probably spend all day there, but they needed plenty of time to get around. She had brought a few dresses as she wasn't sure what she should wear. The nerves settled in her chest were unlike any she had before and she had no idea why. Abigail had been to weddings before—and she wasn't even in the wedding party this time—and had never felt the nerves that swirled around in her making feel sick like she felt then. Perhaps it was the nightmare getting to her because of how vivid it was now. And she realized something that she never had before: it felt like there was someone lingering behind her as well, even though she had always thought she and her killer were alone.

She discovered that unsettling bit of information in the shower and she couldn't stop thinking about it. Why did it change? Why now? Why was she having the same nightmare over and over every night unlike before? Why was it so much more _real_ as if it were a memory instead of a dream?

"Abi! Hey, are you okay?" The voice drew her out of her thoughts and she glanced up quickly seeing Beth's worried blue eyes looking over her as if she had somehow gotten injured just sitting there. _Maybe if I were Bella_ , she thought wryly. Slowly she smiled and gave Beth a nod, standing up and wiping off the seat of her jeans.

"I'm fine," she said, just like always. She never told anybody, not even her parents, about the dreams. She was afraid they would make her see someone about them, and that's the last thing she wanted. Because it felt... _private_ , like only those involved should know. Which was silly because it wasn't real and only her and the red-eyed killer were involved. Still, she never told anyone and she wasn't about to explain to her friend now. "Come on, let's go see Billy. You'll love him, Beth, he was great friends with my dad." The blonde still looked worried, but let Abigail steer her back for the car so they could head over to the Blacks' house.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" It was Billy's voice before Abigail even got out of the car, and the familial sense of longing hit her like a tidal wave. She had done a good job of avoiding the thoughts of her parents, so when she heard the familiar cadence of Billy's voice, she nearly started sobbing. Luckily she has a much better hold on her emotions than that, but she did squeal and all but launch herself out of the car and across the few feet to Billy's waiting arms.

"Billy!" she cried, careful not to knock his chair over as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He chuckled affectionately and tugged her so she could sit on his lap and hug him properly.

"It's great to see you, kiddo. Can't believe that's you, though. You're supposed to be this gangly little eleven year old, not a woman."

Abigail giggled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Hate to break it to you, Billy, but that was eleven years ago." Billy clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction and gently pulled her away so he could look over her.

"Well, you grew up good, kid." He paused and his eyes grew sad as his smile became wistful. "Your mom and dad would be so proud."

_Don't cry, do NOT cry..._

"Thank you, Billy," she whispered as she sniffed back the lump in her throat and gently climbed off his lap, beckoning Beth forward for introductions. "This is my friend, Beth Greene. I met her when I started working at Seattle General."

"Nice to meet you, dear," Billy said with a warm smile.

"You, too," Beth said. Billy beckoned them both inside and got them comfortable in the living room before heading into the kitchen to make a quick call. He looked like he was up to something, and soon enough Abigail knew what it was when it seemed half the reservation pounded through Billy's front door. Seth, Sue, and Leah Clearwater; Sam Uley and Emily Young; Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared... Everyone but Jacob Black, it seemed, and Abigail couldn't help but frown as she realized one of the embraces she hadn't been passed to was his. Her eyes flickered to Billy's who simply gave her a sad smile and though her curiosity strangled her, she didn't ask about him. It seemed like was a sore subject.

The reunion was one of the best days she ever spent, and even Beth had a good time getting to know the Quileutes. It brought back all her wonderful childhood memories even though there were some missing key figures: Bella and Charlie, Jacob, Harry Clearwater, and her parents. But the ache in her chest was easily snuffed out as she was passed from one Quileute to the next to talk about what's been happening and how she is.

 _At least they're warm_ , she thought as she leaned against Sam's side.

"Alright, everyone can stay, but some of us need to get ready for the wedding," Billy said, his gruff voice breaking through the loud conversations and laughter.

Abigail's eyebrows rose. "You're all going?" she wondered. Didn't seem to her like Bella was one for a huge wedding, and Abigail herself was surprised to get an invite.

And wasn't sure why she had been stuck on the name _Cullen_ since the invitation arrived.

"Seth, Sue, and myself are going," Billy said.

"Have you ever met her fiance?" Abigail wondered.

"Yes," Billy said evasively, though she could see in his eyes there was more than that. She frowned, but didn't say anything as she stood up to leave.

"If you want, you can ride with us," Sue said as she moved with Billy to follow Beth and Abigail outside. "We're taking Harry's old Blazer, so if you guys don't mind being shoved in the back with Seth..."

Abigail's eyes lit up. "Really? That would be great! Meet us at the house at four thirty?" Sue agreed and hugged each of them followed by Seth and then Billy before they headed to Abigail's car.

"They're all so nice," Beth said with a flushed face as she seemed to enjoy the company of the Quileute boys very much. Abigail chuckled and nodded.

"They all got much bigger in the past few years, that's for sure," she said with a wry smile. _And much warmer_ , she thought as she remembered actually sweating in her spot next to Sam. Her body was cooling off now that they were leaving, and considering the cloud coverage it wasn't a huge surprise.

Beth laughed at her words and it was quiet on the fifteen minute drive back to the house.

As she climbed out, her eyes flickered down three doors to Charlie's dark house. She could assume he was with Bella getting ready, and she wished she could've seen him before, but it was late when they got in and she was sure the poor man was nervous enough without being woken up at eleven o'clock the night before his daughter's wedding.

Honestly, that was the part Abigail was looking forward to the most, watching Charlie walk Bella down the aisle.

Beth already knew what she was going to wear and had already changed into it by the time Abigail narrowed it down. Beth's was an off-the-shoulder, royal blue cocktail dress that hugged her curves perfectly and ended with a pencil-skirt. She only wore a bracelet for jewelry, a gift from her ex-boyfriend, and she had pulled up her hair halfway behind her head and curled it. Light makeup and a small clutch with lipgloss, a copy of Abigail's house key, and her phone completed the look along with some silver strappy heels.

When it came to Abigail, though, she changed about twenty times between the five dresses were bought, narrowing it down to two. The first three were good, but just _not good enough_. And Abigail knew she had to look her absolute best, which was silly because it wasn't _her_ wedding—she had no plans to do _that_ anytime soon—but the thought of looking anything less than her best just wasn't acceptable to her. The ones discarded were all black, and she decided that wasn't good for a wedding, it looked too much like she was going to a funeral. Of the two left, one was red and one was a vintage floral number. But it was already four fifteen by the time she was finally ready to choose and Beth was a bit frustrated.

"They both look great! Pick one!" Beth hated being late, and the wedding was at five so she had to rush.

Luckily her hair and makeup were already done. With hers, she only pulled up small sections of her chestnut brown hair at the sides and curled it, putting a couple nice clips in it. She had on some small diamond earrings that had been her mother's, and also had a simple silver chain bracelet on. Shoes would depend on the dress, and so finally she decided on the floral one. Large multi-color flowers covered it. It was sleeveless and had thin straps over her shoulders, and was tight down to her waist where it flared out down to her knees. She paired it with her white, open-toed pumps. She had a white clutch that matched Beth's and she tossed in her own lipgloss, phone, keys, and some cash just in case.

As soon as she closed it, a horn sounded from outside and she grabbed her wrap-around and Beth her shawl, and they made their way outside quickly to meet Billy, Sue, and Seth in the driveway. The white Blazer that sat there was exactly the same as it had been when Abigail was a kid. She remembered driving through the lower-density woods with it along with rides up the coast to visit different fishing spots with Billy, Jacob, Charlie, Harry, and Seth. She never minded being the only girl, and she loved fishing and hunting as much as the guys. So when she saw it there, nostalgia burst through her and she had to pause even as Beth stumbled into her.

"Abi," she scolded, walking around her as Seth cranked the back window down and whistled out the window to the two women.

"Lookin' good, ladies!" he called, but Abigail saw Sue scold him and he blushed, tucking himself back in the car with a quiet apology to them. Abigail laughed and climbed in the middle between Seth and Beth.

While she had lived in Forks her whole life—give or take the last four years—and had driven the old highway many times, never once had she noticed the driveway. It was lit up with many strands of twinkling fairy lights to alert people to the area of the party. It was about three miles through tangled weeds and tall trees, just a one-lane path, but she whistled loudly as the trees broke and she saw the large, white house appear in a huge meadow shadowed by six large sycamore trees. It was decked out with thousands of flowers, dozens of tule-wrapped white chairs, and an arch in front of them. Off to the other side were some tables with candles and flowers on them along with a dance floor and a large table with food, including a large five-tiered cake.

"This is beautiful," Abigail breathed as Sue brought the Blazer around to park amongst the other guests. A lot of people were already there and Abigail knew they would be stuck near the back, but that was fine with her. Seth was out to help Sue with Billy and his chair while the girls climbed out Beth's door, careful not to let their heels sink into the soft dirt.

"I've never seen anything like it," Beth agreed as she wrapped her shawl closer to her while Abigail lifted hers around her shoulders. It was a little chilly so once Billy was in his chair, she pressed against Seth for warmth which made him laugh softly.

"Should've brought a coat," he said with a grin making Abigail's eyes roll and a huff leave her lips.

"Don't even start with me, boy," she warned, his laugh coming out louder. Finally their little group of five made their way towards the seating. Abigail recognized a couple of others and went over to say a quick hello to Mike Newton. His father owned Newton's Olympic Outfitters, a camping store just outside of town, and Abigail worked there all through high school, after school and during the summer—her decision, surprisingly, and not her parents'—so she knew him fairly well. She faintly remembered the ones he was with: Angela Weber, Jessica Stanley, and Eric Yorkie. Jessica kind of sized her up as she hugged Mike and she merely said her hellos before going back to join Billy, Beth, Sue, and Seth. They were nearly at the last row as they found some seats, and Seth moved one out of the way for Billy's chair.

The music was quiet until exactly five o'clock on the dot and that's when they all settled into their seats, Abigail's ankles locking delicately. She kept herself pressed against Seth for warmth as it got a little bit chillier as the breeze sweapt through the large meadow, and even her wrap-around wasn't completely helping. The music wasn't the traditional wedding march, but it was a nice change.

It helped her ignore the aching loneliness that suddenly kicked up inside her the longer she sat there, something she had never felt so strongly before.

Blinking back waves of emotion, she ignored her stupidity and smiled as a girl who she could only assume was a bridesmaid began up the aisle. She was small and pixie-like, pale with short black hair, and she paused ever so slightly, her body seemingly locked, before she continued on as if nothing happened. A guy followed behind her, tall and very muscular with a mop of curly black hair, and a smirk on his face as he reached the alter. She noticed then the groom: pale with a shock of bronze colored hair and bright topaz eyes. As she looked between him, the bear of a man beside him, and the pixie girl who was staring at the crowd— _at ME_ , she thought with surprise—she couldn't help a wave of familiarity sweep through her. It made no sense, she never saw them before in her life, but it was stifling. Even the groom was now looking at her, his face unreadable even though the pixie seemed...well, almost sad. Abigail smiled softly, but her attention was diverted as everyone stood up for the bride.

Abigail grinned broadly at Bella's beautiful white dress and a sight she never thought she would see: Charlie in a tux. Seth started to gawff beside her, but then shut up as Abigail stomped on his foot, though she was sure it hurt her more than him. She smiled as Bella and Charlie passed, though it was clear she only had eyes for her groom.

 _I'm so happy for her,_ she thought almost dreamily as she took her seat for the proceedings to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter one: 
> 
> \- [La Push](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_one_second_chance/set?id=220362375)  
> \- [Wedding](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_one-three_second_chance/set?id=220356617)


	2. Family Reunion

**-Alice-**

Bella never told anyone the name of the friend in Seattle that she was inviting to the wedding, but if she had then it would've explained Alice's vision much better than the confusion and horror that swept through her when she first saw it, and again when she showed Edward.

 _W_ _hat can this mean? Can it be her?_ she thought desperately to him after they sat for a little while to try and figure it out. But no rational explanation came to them other than there was something mixed up in the vision—which never happened—or it was a huge coincidence that this unknown human looked like _her_ , their mother.

"She's dead," Edward said, his firm voice full of pained resolve. "She's been gone for fifty years, Alice, you know that."

"I know," she whispered. "That doesn't mean we can't hope." She shrugged. "The anniversary is coming up. Maybe I mixed up my memories with a vision." She desperately wanted that to be true.

"That's never happened before." Alice could only shrug again. "But if it's not... If this girl looks like _her_..." He shook his head. "We have to keep Carlisle away. This day can help him forget her for a few hours. The last thing we need is for some human who looks like his dead wife to mess that up."

Alice didn't like it, but she agreed. Together they decided that the best explanation was that she got them mixed up, that her memories collided with her visions, and this girl meant nothing, just another faceless anonymous human. Though why she was having visions about a random girl Bella decided to invite, she didn't know, she simply saw a flash of the reception and that was it. It was confusing, but she forced it aside as the day of the wedding arrived and there was more to focus on than the random girl who would mean nothing to them.

Alice had nearly successfully pushed the vision aside until she was headed down the aisle and she got another one. It was basically the same as before, but it was clear that it had nothing to do with her memories. The human girl looked like _her_ and there was no logical explanation as to why or how that could happen. Things like that just didn't happen; people, much less _vampires_ , didn't just come back from the dead. And vampires didn't come back from the dead as humans, that was for sure. So Alice was convinced that it was just a coincidence...until she saw the look on Edward's face as she got closer.

 _She's here!_ she thought with a quick nod to her, the move so fast none of the humans would've seen it even if they had been paying attention to her. He gave her an answering nod, and they forced themselves to focus on the wedding because that was way more important than trying to figure out what the significance of the strange, unknown human was.

As Alice saw, everything went off without a hitch, and the reception started right after the ceremony ended.

 _We have to keep Carlisle away from that human,_ Alice thought to Edward who nodded to her. Carlisle was on one side of the dance floor with the rest of their family and the human was on the other so that was a good start, all they had to do was spend the rest of the night keeping it that way. It wouldn't be too hard; just keep Carlisle dancing and away from the food table where she was standing by talking quietly with Billy Black, and the night should be relatively easy.

The bride and groom were announced and the party began. Alice never took her eyes off both Carlisle and the unknown human, making sure they never saw each other. As usual, Carlisle was rather quiet, but he had been that way for the past fifty years. Subdued and gentle, the type of man who only spoke when spoken to. He hadn't always been like that, but that horrible night in 1955 changed him. For nearly thirty years, he didn't speak or move a muscle, forcing the others to figure out how to work their story. When they came home one day in 1984, he wasn't in his usual spot and they panicked thinking he took his own life like most vampires who lost their mates did, but he had simply woken from whatever catatonic coma he has been under and went to hunt. He was there, but he was never the same, and hadn't smiled once.

While he was still the leader they all knew and loved, he wasn't the man he once was ever since their mother's death. And so they would do everything they could to protect him from the pain. Seeing a human that looked like his dead mate would likely induce the state again, and they refused to allow that to happen.

The siblings huddled together, making it look casual so as not to cause alarm with the other guests or Carlisle, but they needed to be close enough that they didn't have to yell over the music. It was there that Edward and Alice explained the situation to the others and all of them had the same expressions on their face that Alice and Edward once had.

"That's impossible," Rosalie hissed.

Alice frowned sadly. "I thought so, too, but the vision never changed. And Rose... She's here." Alice gestured over her shoulder to point out the human. A low hiss from the others told them that they easily picked her out.

"I don't understand..." Emmett said, frowning, hands tightening into fists at his sides.

"Neither do we," Alice said. "But Edward's listening for her thoughts. Maybe we'll figure something out that way."

* * *

 

**-Abigail-**

After the ceremony, Seth had went right for the food making Billy shake his head and Abigail scoff, while her stomach grew more and more knotted and she had no clue why. It was like she had more of a reason to be nervous now that she was free to interact with the rest of the wedding guests than she had been watching the ceremony. There was no way she could eat even though she hadn't eaten since they were at La Push earlier so she knew she probably should. She shook her head as Beth offered her a plate, leaning against the table with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm good," she said which caused her friend to frown.

"Are you okay, Abi?" Beth wondered as she took a sip of champagne. Neither of them were much of a drinker, but they had decided to enjoy themselves, though Abi knew she wouldn't be able to keep it down. Her stomach churned again at the thought and she forced herself to think about something else.

"I'm fine," she said easily. She hated feeling weak.

Beth sighed, but thankfully didn't say anything else as she helped herself to some of the food laid out on the banquet style table. Abigail smiled at her and turned her attention to Seth who had already grabbed three plate's worth and was headed to sit by Billy and Sue. The kid pouted when Billy grabbed a plate with a smirk and Abigail giggled and tugged Beth over to sit at the table they had.

"Not gonna eat?" Seth asked through his mouthful of pasta and Abigail narrowed her eyes at him.

"Didn't your mom ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?" The others, even Sue, laughed at him and he merely blushed and smiled, swallowing down his food.

"Sorry," he mumbled once he was through before shoving another mouthful passed his lips and teeth. Abigail couldn't help but smile and shake her head.

It was a nice setting and Abigail felt herself get more tense, but less nervous as the sky turned dark even beyond what the cloud coverage had already done. Nighttime was always her time, the time she felt the most calm and at peace. As usual, there was no way to see the stars beyond the clouds, but the brunette still smiled and glanced up at the night sky. The fairy-lights and candles flickering around made it light enough to see clearly, but didn't make it incredibly annoying like those huge stadium lights you usually see at outdoor events. The couple Mariners games that Beth had dragged her to when she was still with her ex always annoyed her; nighttime was for darkness, not harsh florescent lighting.

Speeches had been made and food and dancing were back on, so she took the opportunity to drag Seth and Billy out. Even though Billy clearly couldn't dance like the rest of them, she still took his hands to turn him around which she was thrilled to see made him smile. Beth had joined them and they danced in a group, laughing over shouted childhood stories and the ease this night brought everyone. Eventually Abigail managed to choke down a small plate of pasta and some champagne, which only made her head buzz a little due to lack of experience.

"Abigail!" The loud shout drifted over the voices and music, prickling the hair on the back of her neck, even as she knew the voice like she knew Billy's. The voice was that of Charlie Swan, someone she hadn't been able to say hello to as of yet because of the craziness. But the small-town chief of police was clearly happy and enjoying himself; she could tell that. A large grin took over her face as she wheeled in the direction the voice came from, spotting the familiar mop of dark hair and mustache over most of the crowd.

" _Charlie_!" she called back, waving to Billy and the others that she would be back before quickly making her way across the dance floor. The sound of her heels was hidden by the happy sounds of the wedding goers and the music that blared out through the large speakers. When she saw him grin back, she couldn't help but laugh as she met him halfway and quickly stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. Between Billy and the others at La Push, and now Charlie, she felt the familiar pang of sadness that her own parents were gone and unable to enjoy this splendid night, but was thankful she had so many amazing people to share it with that kept the spirits of Gwen and Hank Goodwin alive. It meant more to her than she could ever really express.

She squealed happily as he picked her up just like he always has, her feet dangling off the dance floor. She had been the same height since about fifth grade—a whopping five foot even—so whenever she hugged Charlie, Billy, Harry, Waylon, or her dad, they had always picked her up. She was happy to see now was no different even though she was twenty-two.

"I'm so happy to see you, kid," Charlie said and Abigail knew the emotions of the day hit him as well, probably even more than her because this was his daughter's wedding. His voice caught a little and she rubbed his back as he gently set her down. She smiled up at him softly and reached up to kiss his cheek.

"You, too, Charlie," she said honestly with a soft sigh. "I'm so happy for Bella! And so happy to be back. It's so weird being here without them, but I'm glad you and Billy are here. You haven't changed a bit." She giggled and reached up to wipe some lipgloss off his cheek. "Sorry."

He chuckled. "Don't mention it." He sighed gently. "When'd you get in? Let me look at ya." She took a step back, his hands on her shoulders, and he shook his head. "You can't grow up anymore, ya here? Bella's _married_ , and you're living alone in Seattle as a nurse..." He clicked his tongue. "I don't like it."

She giggled again. "If I promise to stop growing up, do I get another hug?"

He scoffed. "You would get one without the promise, but thank you for it." Abigail grinned wider and reached up for another hug.

"So how're you doing? Really." Charlie raised a critical eyebrow as they broke apart and he put an arm around her shoulders, leading her back over to her group. Abigail opened her mouth to say her usual _"I'm fine,"_ but Charlie's look told her that wasn't going to work and she glanced at her feet, sighing.

"Better than I was," she finally admitted, voice quieter, stepping back to stand behind Billy's chair and together they went back to the table. She rolled her eyes as Seth went for more food, but the rest settled down with some champagne. Seth brought her back a plate and dared her to argue, so she just smiled and started picking at the admittedly delicious food. _I wonder if they made it themselves or had it catered,_ she wondered absently as she bit off a piece of garlic bread.

"I'm surprised I didn't hear from you after the funeral," Charlie said with a frown. But Abigail hadn't really talked to anyone after that. She spoke to Beth, her patients, and her boss Caleb, but that was about it.

"That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," she said softly, eating more bread as she forced herself not to get emotional. She refused to meet anyone's eyes, though. "I wasn't in the mind to talk to anyone. But you guys lost friends, too, and I'm sorry I wasn't more sensitive to that."

"Hey." Charlie put a hand on hers which paused her mindless eating. "They were your parents first and our friends second. It's okay." Abigail smiled softly and ate another bite.

"I'm better, though. I haven't been to the house until last night. I'm in their room, Beth's in my old room." She quickly introduced Beth to Charlie, feeling bad that she hadn't before. "And I haven't decided if I'm going to sell. I kind of want to because it's painful being there, but that house has been in my family since my dad was a kid."

Charlie and Billy smiled sadly, wistfully. "I remember," Billy murmured. Billy, Charlie, Harry, Waylon, and Hank had been friends since Hank moved there from Olympia at age five so to have three of the five gone... It was too much on Abigail's heavy heart and she angrily scrubbed at the tears that fell. Charlie put a silent arm around her shoulders.

She laughed humorlessly. "What am I doing? This is a wedding." She shook her head and pushed her emotions aside.

"Maybe keep it for at least a little while longer. Can't hurt, right?"

Abigail nodded. "I'm still paying for the heat so the pipes don't freeze, but yeah. I know no matter what, I'm keeping the recliner."

Charlie and Billy laughed. "You, Bella, and Jake used to bounce on that thing like a trampoline," Billy said with a sad fondness. "Can't believe Hank never got rid of it."

"Well, it's the comfiest chair you'll ever find, so I'm glad he didn't. Even if it falls apart on the move to Seattle, I'll take it." Abigail giggled and finished on her garlic bread and going for the champagne.

"Speaking of... Have you said hi to Bella yet?" Charlie wondered.

Abigail shook her head. "Nah, I haven't seen her in years, I was surprised to get an invite. I figured I'd bug her once she saw more important people."

Charlie scoffed and stood, pulling her with him and gestured to the others. "Please. Let's go, if anyone's there, I can over rule them as father of the bride."

Abigail giggled and nodded, taking another sip before standing and gesturing Charlie forward. "Okay, sure. Lead the way, chief."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter two:
> 
> \- [Wedding](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_one-three_second_chance/set?id=220356617)


	3. Unfamiliar Familiar Faces

**-Abigail-**

The small group had to push through a few different people to get across the dance floor to where Bella and her new husband— _Edward_ , Abigail remembered—were standing. Like the name Cullen, Edward also gave her a weird clenching of the stomach which she dutifully ignored. The man she recognized from earlier at the ceremony was standing next to Bella who looked very confused, like she was going to argue something, but then Charlie got her attention by calling her name.

Bella turned and smiled, pulling her father into a hug. "Hi, Dad," she said fondly, holding him close for a couple seconds before pulling back, her chocolate brown eyes coming to meet Abigail's emerald ones. "Abi, I'm so glad you could make it."

Abigail scoffed and pulled her into a soft hug. "Wouldn't have missed it for the world, Bella. I'm glad you invited me."

"'Course. We grew up together, I couldn't not invite you." The girls laughed and she moved aside to let Bella say hello to Billy, Sue, and Seth, and then Abigail introduced her to Beth.

"And this is Edward," Bella said, putting a gentle hand on his chest. Abigail's eyes flickered up to his and he looked...confused? That seemed to be the right emotion, that or pain—maybe a little of both—which made Abigail a bit uncomfortable. Was it from the conversation Abigail noticed was they walked up? Was it _her_? She never met the man before so she didn't know why, but she couldn't get that feeling out of her chest as she smiled politely and held out her hand softly.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Abigail Goodwin." And he seemed to choke, eyeing her hand like she was going to slap him, but didn't shake it. Her cheeks heated up and she pulled it back to her side, the others around her staring at him with mixed reactions of confusion and annoyance. And he still hasn't said a word to her so she cleared her throat, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear, before turning her attention to Bella who also shared the emotions of her husband's actions. Or lack of actions, rather. "So congratulations," Abigail said with a slightly forced smile. Edward continued to look at her and it felt like he didn't want her there, which made her shift on her feet awkwardly. "I'm so happy for you guys."

Bella pulled her eyes from Edward's— _wow, they're different_ , she thought as she looked into the shade of topaz—and looked back at her friend. "Thanks," she said gratefully. "We're really happy, too. Today has been just...amazing."

"Definitely throw a great party," she said.

Bella chuckled. "This was all Alice's doing. She's Edward's sister." _Alice, Edward's sister,_ she thought. Again, it just felt so familiar and yet she had never met anyone named Alice before. It was starting to make her nervous again, the same dread almost that curled around in her body earlier, enough she could've gotten ill right there and forced the feelings away.

"Well, she did a great job." Abigail also chuckled lightly and glanced at her shoes.

But a new sound, like something shattering, caused her gaze to rise again. Only it wasn't Edward or Bella, but a man standing behind them and off to the left, and she realized quickly he had dropped his champagne flute, though it was hardly heard over the noise of the party. Her eyes flickered over and was shocked to see the intensity in his gaze, the severity of how tightly his jaw was clenched. Honey-blond hair, topaz eyes the same as Edward's, pale skin, slightly taller than Edward, male-model perfection, and just slightly older than Abigail herself. All the wind seemed to knock out of her gut and she couldn't look away even if she wanted to. His own expression was of wonder, longing, confusion, anguish, and even a bit of horror. It was a blend of emotions that Abigail didn't understand and yet she felt her body chill as if a sharp wind had suddenly knocked into her, goosebumps rising on her flesh as blood pooled under the skin of her cheeks.

_Who—_

"Abi!" The voice this time was Beth's and she blinked and everything suddenly rushed back in, the sounds of the party and the churning if her stomach and it was Charlie's arms that caught her as she staggered ever so slightly. She blinked and looked up, the chief's brow furrowed in concern and she simply smiled, patting his hand.

"I'm okay. I just...felt a little dizzy. I'm fine." Of course he didn't look convinced and neither did the others, but she waved away their concern as she reached over to grip the handle of Billy's chair. "We won't monopolize the bride any longer." She laughed humorlessly. "Seth, if you haven't eaten all the food, mind getting me some? I haven't eaten much since La Push and I think I need to." Seth took another second to study her, but grinned and jogged off. "Congratulations again, Bella." She hugged her old friend, glanced once more at Edward whose face was simply blank now, before turning and heading off with Billy, Sue at her heels as she tried desperately not to peek a glance at the other man who, for some reason, had caught her attention more than even the bride had that night.

* * *

**-Alice-**

"What's going on? Who is that?!"

Carlisle had demanded the words as soon as the party dwindled down to just a few people after Bella and Edward had left to start their honeymoon. Those left were the Denali family, a couple humans, and then Billy's group...including the girl that he was talking about. The music was softer, the voices not quite so loud, so Carlisle's voice was just above a whisper and he knew only his family could hear him. At his question, all of them glanced over at the table that held the mysterious human, Abigail Goodwin, the girl with their mother's face...and with their mother's _name_.

Alice still hadn't figured anything out and even being in Abigail's presence didn't bring on anymore visions, much to her frustration. But it seemed she, too, was friends with the La Push crowd so it could've had something to do with them. They had tried so hard to keep Carlisle away, but it was Charlie that caused them to fail as he brought the girl and her group over to say hello to Bella. The Cullens knew Edward reacted rather stupidly because they all noticed how rigid he was, even Abigail, but it wasn't as if they could really fault him. And now Carlisle was speaking, showing a true emotion for the first time since 1955, and part of them was glad of that even though they knew seeing that face, hearing that name brought on a world of pain that left Jasper trembling between Alice and Emmett.

"I don't know," Alice finally said, her voice also soft. "I got one vision of her," Carlisle's eyes flashed with anger as he gazed at her, "but I thought it was memories mixing with a vision. Because that's...she's _impossible_. That girl is impossible and even Edward couldn't understand it, and he could hear her mind."

They all glanced over as they heard a tinkling laugh and saw her hiding her smile behind a hand, emerald hues lighting up in humor as she gazed at Billy who was telling a story, his hands moving with effect. She leaned against Sue's shoulder and it was clear she had a tad too much champagne, but not dangerously so, and even if that were the case, they knew that Billy, Charlie, and Sue would take care of her.

"Carlisle..." Alice hedged, her voice stopping and she glanced at the others before continuing on. She needed to know. "Do you... I mean, I know the pull of a mate." His eyes got even angrier. "Do you feel that for her?"

"No," he growled, catching the attention of Tanya who frowned and Alice waved her off. "I _had_ a mate. She's gone. There are no do-overs, Alice."

Alice sighed. "I know." But her thoughts were troubled because there was so much coincidence that she wasn't sure she could believe that's all there was. _What if Mom came back to us?_ she wondered, but knew better than ask it and incur more of Carlisle's wrath. She would talk to Edward when they got back and see if he got anything else of use.

The family silently watched as her laughter drifted over to them again, and the rest of the table laughed as well, even Billy who was telling the story. Abigail buried her face in her hands and shook her head, blushing as she narrowed her eyes at Billy.

"I can't believe you told that story," she was saying through her giggles. Alice's gaze flickered quickly from Abigail to Carlisle and the look of anger had vanished as soon as they heard her laugh, the look behind replaced with melancholy and longing and agony. Even if she wasn't _their_ Abigail, she still resembled her in every way. Every curve of her body, her chestnut brown hair, those twinkling emerald eyes, the smooth texture of her lightly tanned skin. Even Alice could feel the emotions Carlisle let off and she knew the rest of them would have to fight to keep him from that catatonic coma.

"We can't just watch," she said with resolve, grabbing Jasper's arm, and dragging him towards the table.

" _What are you doing_?!" he hissed as they got closer. "You know what you'll do to Carlisle?"

"We need to find out more, Jazz. If we don't, we'll always be wondering, and we'll lose him again. I'm not willing to take that chance; are you?" Her mate slowly gritted his teeth and allowed her to pull him over to the table.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

Eventually Abigail covered her ears the more stories Billy told. Even though Sue and Charlie knew them because they had been there, Beth didn't and the twinkle in her blue eyes as she smirked at Abigail told the brunette that she had blackmail material coming to her now. It was like when Abigail went with her to visit her sister over in New York, she got some stories to use; now it was Beth's turn to return the favor.

"I hate you all," she grumbled in faux-irritation, burying her face in her arms. It only caused more laughter that died out quickly and she looked up to see what happened, when she spotted two people she hadn't seen before. _They must be related to Edward_ , she thought as she took in their topaz eyes and pale complexion. They stood there for a moment before Charlie stood up, realizing he had to make introductions.

"Uh...this is Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale, Edward's brother and sister." The girl was about the size of a pixie with a matching haircut and a winning smile, pulling the boy down into a chair with her. His own expression was that of suspicion as he nodded cooly to Abigail and Beth. It reminded her of Edward's expression and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Alice, Jasper...this is Abigail Goodwin, and her friend Beth. Abi grew up with Bella and Jacob."

"Oh, you know Jacob?" Alice's voice was like the tinkle of a bell, soft and charming and her hand dainty as she reached to shake hands with Abigail and Beth. But Abigail was surprised at the firmness of her handshake, and the coolness of her skin. Still, she smiled politely and shook the girl's hand. Jasper didn't offer his so Abigail pulled hers back to her lap.

"Ever since he was born," Abigail said with pride. "Bella, too. I'm older than them and I remember sitting in the hospital with my parents waiting for them to be born."

"You met him before his sisters did," Billy said wryly, leaning forward and Abigail chuckled.

"I did. I was a pushy kid and I climbed up on Sarah's bed to see him and pushed Rebecca and Rachel out of the way." Alice followed in her laughter along with the others, aside from Jasper that is.

"Do you still live here?"

Abigail raised an eyebrow, wondering why this girl wanted to know, but shook her head. "No, I'm in Seattle now." She paused. "Maybe. I haven't decided if I want to come back yet."

"Do you like it here?"

"Oh, I love it here. Cities never have been my thing...especially when they recently have become the hunting grounds for a bunch of serial killings."

Charlie's face darkened and be leaned forward on the other side of Jasper. "Oh yeah, I forgot all about that. You girls took precautions, I'm assuming?"

Abigail snorted. "Yes, _Dad_ ," she said, Charlie's face breaking into an obviously unwanted smile. "It's been a few months and nothing that big has happened. But that was about when Beth and I decided to room together and we got into a better part of town."

Charlie grunted. "Good. You die on me, I'll be so pissed."

Abigail gasped. "Language!" Everyone—again, excluding Jasper—laughed. "But we're fine, Charlie, I can take care of myself. I haven't lost my head yet, I'm sure I can manage to keep it on moving forward." This time even Alice didn't join in the laughter, her face looking troubled and Abigail blushed again, trailing off and looking down at her lap before giving them an easy, kind smile. "So, I loved the wedding. Bella told me it was your doing; you did an amazing job."

Suddenly Alice lit up and sat forward more. "Thank you!" They went on to discuss the plans even as Charlie and Billy groaned, but they ignored them as they spoke and laughed, Beth and Sue joining in easily. It turned out to be quite the wonderful night and after she had gotten more food in her, danced a little bit more with Beth and Billy, and had a couple more flutes of champagne, she wound up having the time of her life. Edward and Jasper's weird behavior aside, she adored Alice and loved seeing Bella again, and wondered if she just decided on her whole Seattle versus Forks debate.

Once eleven o'clock hit, Abigail realized how exhausted she was and was practically leaning on Sue to keep her from falling over. Alice and Jasper didn't look tired at all, but the others all decided it was time to head home.

"You guys head back to La Push and I'll take the girls back to Hank's." Charlie paused and winced, looking at Abigail with a sheepish, apologetic smile. "I mean to Abigail's."

"You sure?" Billy asked, sliding around the pain that assaulted all of them and Jasper looked alarmed for a moment and the feeling died away like it had never been there, causing Abigail to frown, but shake it off. "It's no trouble."

"Yeah, she's only three doors down, it's no trouble." He smiled and clapped Billy on the shoulder and hugged Sue. Abigail followed suit, squeezing Billy and Sue tightly and then locking arms with Beth so they could keep each other up.

"Thanks so much for having us," Abigail gushed to Alice, eyes widening in surprise as the girl threw her arms around Abigail in a tight hug, pulling back with an excited look.

"No trouble! If you stay, we really need to talk more."

Abigail lit up, suddenly more positive in which way her decision would go. "Yeah, sure. That would be a lot of fun. Thanks, Alice!" She waved to Jasper who merely nodded and she and Beth stumbled out behind Charlie, who wound up having to all but carry them the rest of the way. Beth climbed in the backseat making Abigail giggle as she faced her friend to look through the bars that sat between them. Charlie only had his cruiser so there wasn't much of a choice.

"Jailbird, much?" she asked with a smirk and Beth merely scoffed and looked away. Charlie barked at her to buckle up and then they were on their way.

In the short distance back home, Abigail managed to fall asleep on Charlie's shoulder, and only woke when he was carrying her up the stairs. "You don't have to," she murmured even though they were already in her bedroom doorway. Well, her parents' bedroom doorway. Charlie paused and set her on her feet making her sway and his hands catch her.

"'Course I do," he said simply and she smiled. "Advil for a headache and no driving 'til tomorrow. You're drunk."

"I'm tipsy."

"Don't care. I'll arrest you."

"There's no such thing as tipsy driving."

"There is for you." He looked at her sternly and she giggled, stifling a yawn, and shaking her head.

"Fine. I promise, chief." She was far too tired to drive anyway. She gave him another hug, being picked up yet again, before he headed out and she went to change. She saw Beth's door was already closed and so she shut hers, too, changing into some plaid pajama pants and a camisole before climbing beneath the covers. It had been a long day and she was exhausted, but she couldn't help but smile.

That night, the nightmare hit her, only this time she had a savior...a savior with topaz eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter three: 
> 
> \- [Wedding](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_one-three_second_chance/set?id=220356617)


	4. Unexpected Visitors

**-January 2007-**  
**-Abigail-**

It was easier than expected to get her nursing position moved from Seattle General Hospital to Forks Community Hospital. Apparently Forks was understaffed in the ER department and Abigail had a lot of experience there, so they hired her on the spot and gave her a raise from what she had been making in Seattle. There was no question that she would take it, especially as she woke up the day after the wedding with a hangover and a headache like Charlie suspected, but also the clearest decision: she was going to stay in Forks. She invited Beth to stay rent-free (considering she didn't need to pay a mortgage on the house) and just pay half the utilities and groceries. It was a steal and her friend jumped on it, deciding she liked the small town after spending a week there with Abigail.

After five months of being there, Abigail had her routine down like an easy rhythm. Wake up at eight, shower and eat breakfast, out the door by eight forty-five, work until seven, back home for dinner and either a book or a movie, and then back to bed. It was easy and simple and just what she needed. The weekends were spent with Beth and Charlie, fixing up and renovating the house as there were some spots in dire need of some TLC and she had the money to work on it. She and Beth had started to do it themselves, but as soon as Charlie figured out what they were doing, he insisted on helping. Sue and Seth would come over to help and sometimes even Billy would even though he couldn't stand up, so they gave him some other jobs to do. It was so much fun and Abigail loved it, though she couldn't shake the sense that something was missing. She didn't even know what it was, even though subconsciously she was thinking _Cullen_. She knew that was silly, though. She didn't even know them, no matter what Alice had said after the wedding. People said stuff like that all the time just to be polite and so she chalked it up to that, even though she was disappointed. But she knew there were people with bigger problems, like Charlie who was worried about Bella when she didn't come home from her honeymoon on time because of an illness. She wished she could do something to help, but even Dr. Cullen—who she found out was the man she caught a glimpse of at the wedding, and Edward's father, a doctor at Forks Community—wasn't at work for her to ask. Apparently he had taken a sabbatical right after the wedding and she wondered why, but she couldn't dwell on it, even though she was sort of convinced the topaz eyes that saved her in her nightmares were his.

 _That's silly, you don't even know him,_  she complained to herself one day when she caught herself thinking of him. _You saw him one time from a distance through a crowd of people. This isn't some old romance where lovers eyes "met across a crowded room," this is reality and you're being ridiculous. Love doesn't exist, much less love at first sight._  So she forced herself to stop thinking about him.

It wasn't until midway through January that she thought about any of them again, at least consciously, and it was only because she was forced to. Beth took an extra shift in the maternity ward and so she was home alone, dozing in her dad's chair watching the old Dracula movie. It was one of her favorites, but she was just exhausted for some reason and had found herself half listening and half asleep. It wasn't the movie, but a gentle rapping at the door that has her waking up, eyes blurry, but body alert to the fact she was no longer alone. She yawned and stretched slightly before rubbing at her eyes. She paused the movie on a close up of Bela Lugosi before heading to the door, eyes narrowing as she glanced through the window and didn't recognize the bright yellow car in the driveway.

 _Unless Beth happened to get a huge raise without telling me..._  She shook herself and gingerly pulled open the door, peaking around it, her eyebrows lifting in shock. Alice Cullen stood there with four people behind her: Jasper Hale, Bella Sw— _Cullen,_  she corrected—Edward Cullen, and Carlisle Cullen. Truthfully she had never met Carlisle in person or seen him up close and an embarrassing hard thump of her heart had her swallowing as if that would drown out the sound she was sure they heard, it was that loud. Still, it was barely a couple seconds before she smiled softly, even though she was still a bit surprised, and stood back to let them in.

"I-I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting company. Please, come in." The four hadn't said a word, but Alice and Bella smiled gratefully and took the lead in entering. The house almost seemed too small with so many people in it and she quickly moved to shut off the television and then gestured to the seating. Her dad's old recliner was the only living room furniture she kept, the rest was donated to Goodwill. There was a new love seat and couch taking up the space with an antique coffee table in the middle that matched the entertainment stand in front of it, though Charlie had to help her reconstruct it a little to fit her wide flat screen television rather than the old boxy ones it was meant for. He and Billy also helped her build some shelves that held her DVD collection. There was a tall bookshelf to the side with most of her book collection other than those that were incredibly special that she kept up in her room. She had taken her parents room and Beth was happy with her childhood bedroom; the house wasn't huge, but it was a good size for the two of them, and the bedrooms matched that. Neither needed a humongous space. _Like the Cullen manor,_  she thought wryly.

She took the recliner, pushing down the foot rest and tossing the blanket she had over the back. Bella and Edward took the love seat while Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle took the couch. Bella and Alice were all smiles, Jasper and Edward looked apologetic, and Carlisle's face was completely unreadable and almost blank. But she still smiled kindly at all of them, arranging her hands in her lap.

"Would you guys like anything? Tea, coffee...?"

"No, thank you." It was Edward who spoke and her surprised eyes turned in his direction. "But Jasper and I would like to apologize. We understand our behavior was... Well, we were very rude at the reception. You just...you remind us a lot of someone we once knew, and it surprised us. But we know you're not her, so we apologize for our behavior."

For a moment Abigail was stunned; she honestly hadn't expected an apology and was never one to demand one. She would rather just forget, that was how she forgave. _"Out of mind, out of sight,"_  as her dad had always said. She let out a little breath and then smiled, shaking her head causing wisps of glossy brown hair to float around her face.

"You don't have to apologize, but thank you."

"So you forgive us?" This was Jasper and her eyes flickered to him and she chuckled, ducking her eyes for a moment before nodding.

"Yes, I forgive you." She smiled at him as well. "Well, to what do I owe the pleasure? I haven't seen you since the wedding so I thought you had forgotten about me."

"Never!" Alice said it so suddenly and so passionately that her mind went blank for a moment as a blush crept to her cheeks. She wasn't sure why Alice looked so alarmed at the thought of Abigail's words, but she couldn't help but admit that the action warmed her a little.

"Well, regardless, I'm glad you're here." She smiled again.

"We were out of town," Alice said as a simple explanation and Abigail didn't require anymore so she nodded.

"Understood."

"How have you been?" Alice wondered.

Abigail nodded. "Busy. Beth and I worked to remodel the house and renovate some stuff I'm pretty sure hadn't been touched since like 1955." She chuckled and the girls laughed. Edward and Jasper exchanged uneasy looks and a small, forced smile. Carlisle still hadn't said a word, hadn't expressed anything on his beautiful—Y _eah, that's definitely beautiful,_  she thought breathlessly—face, but his eyes hadn't left hers and blood reached her cheeks again as she turned to Alice to continue. "Charlie and Billy helped with stuff we couldn't, like heavy lifting and tall stuff." She rolled her eyes, sure Alice could understand and the other girl laughed along with her.

"Where's Beth?"

"The hospital." She paused. "I mean she's a nurse." She chuckled. "She's there in the maternity ward. I'm in the ER."

This seemed to bring Carlisle out of whatever daze he was in and he actually blanched, looking almost ill and pained, his ochre eyes finally moving away from her. Abigail frowned and was about to ask what was wrong when Alice's voice drew her away from his reaction to her words.

"So you're a nurse, too, then?"

Abigail nodded and leaned back in the chair, pulling her denim-clad legs under her. "That's why I originally moved to Seattle, to go to med school there. But I decided I liked nursing better so I switched to that program, and just decided to stay."

"Until now." Abigail nodded. "Why's that?"

Abigail frowned and glanced down at her suddenly anxious hands, not noticing a small exchange between her guests as her heart gave a painful squeeze.

"My parents died. They left me this house. That's how I know Charlie and Billy and everyone. My dad had been friends with them since he was five. But a drunk driver decided that his and my mom's lives didn't matter anymore, so he took them away from me." She quickly scrubbed at her eyes before the threatening tears ever fell. It was silent for a moment and suddenly a wave of calm washed over her making her frown again in confusion, but she clung to it before she got too deep in her depression. She glanced up again and gave Alice a small smile. "It took me awhile to come back. Bella's wedding was my excuse; everything was still here as it was. It was free, so why pay for a hotel? My original thought was to sell it, but I decided I couldn't do that. And I love Forks. I missed all my friends; I had only Beth in Seattle. So here I am."

"No regrets?"

"I never do anything I'll regret later." She shrugged. "Though I suppose that's why I only have one friend." She laughed softly. "But life is too short to sorry about that kind of thing. I don't want to be eighty on my death bed worrying about what I did in my twenties."

Alice nodded along, a smile on her face that Abigail couldn't read, but she wasn't really good at reading people anyway. "That's a good motto. But don't sit back and do nothing and worry about later regrets. If you enjoy it today, that's what counts. 'Never regret something that once made you smile.'"

 _My dad used to say that,_  she thought sadly, and could only laugh softly at Alice's words.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

_I should not have come here._  The thoughts were to himself even though he knew Edward could hear them. He wasn't even sure how they talked him into it, promises of less pain after it happened, but it was clear that that wasn't about to happen anytime soon. As soon as this girl, this Abigail, had opened the door, a red-hot poker of pain twisted at his insides and it was all he could do not to double over. The glimpse he had back in August was nothing compared to seeing the girl up close. _Even her eyes are the same,_  he agonized. While the others never met her as a human, he had, and he remembered every second of it like it was yesterday.

Abigail, _his_  Abigail, had been a nurse during the American Revolution in 1776. He was in control of his thirst and his urges by then, and was always working to make it so he was immune, so he figured the battlefield was a good place to start. The war was already in full swing and he found himself in Virginia, working either under the cover of a tent or the darkness of night so nobody would know his secret. After a month there, the army brought in a brigade of new nurses to help the doctors with the ever-growing number of sick and wounded soldiers that came through.

That's when he first met her, his Abigail, when she was introduced to him by the general as his assistant. He never needed one, always declined as he worked better and faster without one, but the moment he laid eyes on the enchanting beauty, he accepted immediately. The wariness on the man's face told him that he was expecting an argument from him, but Carlisle wouldn't dream of sending this enchantress somewhere else. He actually got dizzy for the first time in over a hundred years when she smiled at him, so shy and brilliant and he was in love. Of course, that was the mating call that had been pulling him for that month he had been there, as if he were waiting for something, anticipating the arrival of something that would change his life, and she had the moment he set his gaze on her emerald eyes.

Over the course of two weeks, he got to know her. She had been shy and reluctant to tell him of her story at first, but soon he found out that she came from Delaware and her father had been a doctor there, so she was used to the hustle and bustle of this life. But he was a cold, strict man who was disappointed in his daughter's lack of a husband, so when a man named Howard Drake came along—a good twenty years her senior and richer than even her physician father—and saw the splendidness of her beauty, he haggled with her father for the right price to make her his wife. Of course Abigail didn't want to marry a man so much older than her and out for only her body and her money, so she fled in the dead of night and hopped aboard a boat taking nurses down to the war zone in Virginia. She knew she would either have to go back to this life and marry Mr. Drake, or live her life as a spinster peasant with no chance at love or marriage.

Her story broke Carlisle's heart and though he knew he couldn't give her the right kind of life—after all, who would willingly marry a monster?—he knew he could love her every moment of her existence. He had vowed to be with her until she died of old age, but then the British invaded the camp. While most of the time Carlisle kept her close to his side, knowing the beast in him always woke up when his mate wasn't with him, right before this battle she excused herself to clean up and take a short break for a nap and some food. As soon as he heard the guns, Carlisle left the soldier he was plucking ammunition out of and ran to find her. When he did, she was drowning in her own blood as a well-placed bullet tore through the right side of her chest and lung, collapsing the organ. Her heart raced to keep her alive, but Carlisle knew that nothing would save her.

She was the first human he turned, keeping her with him in an old cabin he found five miles into the woods from the camp, as she went through the change. He expected her anger, but instead got her forgiveness and acceptance and love. They married just a couple months later, and he gave her everything she ever dreamed of, worshipping her like the queen and goddess she was.

So when she was taken from him almost two hundred years later, it was no surprise to anyone, even himself, that he collapsed. He had every intention to follow her in death, but he felt that it would be too easy. The better punishment was to live, to force himself through life without his mate and true love by his side, his punishment for failing her and watching her die even though he promised her back in 1776 that nothing would ever harm her. Never once did he forget her; those years he spent silent and still he thought only of her, of every moment they spent together in their one hundred and seventy-nine years. The love they made, the house and life they built, the children they gained. It was them and their need for him that eventually brought him out of his state in 1984, forcing himself to be the father they needed and deserved, the man that his Abigail would be proud of.

None of them ever forgot her and they all missed her, longed for her to still be with them even fifty years later. But none of them expected this, to be sitting in this small cozy house in Forks with a woman who looked, sounded, _breathed_  like their late wife and mother. Bella was a newborn, too young to understand the feelings that this woman's presence brought to them, but he was sure Edward would explain everything if he hadn't already.

But it's why he knew he shouldn't have come, because it was too hard, too agonizingly painful to be so close to this woman, to look at her and hear her speak, as if she were a ghost of his long-dead mate come back to haunt him for his failures. _She even smells the same,_  he thought, his desperation nearly choking him as he gazed at Edward who was trying very hard to look neutral and not wince at this woman's presence, but also his father's thoughts as well.

"So when's your birthday?" Alice was asking, bringing Carlisle out of his thoughts and he held his breath for a moment, gaze flickering back to Abigail who was lightly rocking in her spot.

"Next month, actually," she replied softly. "Valentine's Day, February fourteenth."

 _Oh my god,_  he choked. That was _his_  Abigail's birthday, too. It was too much, too much similarities, too much pain...

Quickly he stood, surprising even his family along with Abigail, and his gaze couldn't quite meet hers as his breath sawed in between his teeth. "My apologies, I believe I'm late for an appointment. Please excuse me." He didn't wait for a response, just quickly made his way out the door, making sure he was in the trees before beginning to run, his legs carrying him away from the woman who likely could break his heart with just a look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter four: 
> 
> \- [Surprise Guests](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_four-five_second_chance/set?id=220362461)


	5. Mine or Yours

**-Abigail-**

Her gaze didn't leave the door for a couple moments before turning to Alice with a shocked, hurt look across her features. He didn't even speak to her and then ran off like she lit him on fire. _What did I do? Did I offend him somehow? Does he not like me for some reason?_ None of the others spoke either and she dropped her eyes down to her hand where they twisted together.

"He does this often, we're sorry." It was Edward who spoke and her eyes lifted to him, frowning for a moment, but he looked so sincere and apologetic that she couldn't help but smile and feel better. If he did it often, it couldn't be her, right?

"As long as I didn't scare him off," she said, breaking the tension and causing soft laughter to ripple through the group. It seemed after that it was easy to talk, even Jasper loosening up and joining in on the laughter and gentle conversation. Around five, the Cullens got up to leave and Abigail frowned as she realized she didn't want them to go.

"Are you sure you won't stay for dinner? I could have Charlie come over, too, he gets out in like ten minutes."

Alice shook her head with a soft smile and leaned in for a hug. "We'll come see you tomorrow, okay? Or you can come see us."

Abigail smiled. "I would love that," she answered truthfully as she returned the hug and regretfully let them go. The car—Alice's, they had said—was impressive and she decided she didn't even want to know how much it cost. She waved goodbye to them, leaning against the porch railing until the car was out of sight, before heading back inside for her dinner of cold homemade mac and cheese.

It took her until Beth got home for her to realize something: when Carlisle left, even though he didn't speak to her and looked at her like she had kicked his puppy, she missed him. _What's that all about?_ she wondered. But it was true, as soon as he left, she was aching to have him near her again. It was like the feelings that swept her at the wedding reception only ten times more powerful and so she ran up to her room before Beth could walk in the door so she could hide and figure things out. She had never felt like that before, especially for someone who had never even said hello to her. It was confusing and irritating, feeling how she wished she had ran after him instead of watching him walk out her door. And she ignored how the sight actually squeezed her heart as if the motion hurt her, because that was just irrational.

But that night she had her nightmare, the first time since the night of the wedding, and this time she did indeed have someone else with her. Familiar topaz eyes appeared followed by a shock of honey-blond hair, shining out of the darkness. She reached for him and his cold hand enclosed around hers, dragging her away from the red-eyed killer. The creature screamed and collapsed in a pile of limbs, bursting into flame, while Abigail pressed herself against a firm, cold chest. The man above her looked at her with such love and devotion, such utter and desperate affection that her knees trembled and it took every muscle in her body not to collapse. But her hand molded to his arms, his wrapping around as if he could _feel_ how he made her ache, and smiled adoringly down to her.

"Rest easy, my love," Carlisle whispered. "No one will ever harm you."

* * *

**-Alice-**

"Well, I suppose that went as well as could be expected," she said a bit dryly, though she couldn't fault Carlisle for leaving as he had. Being up close, all the attention on her, the resemblance to Carlisle's late Abigail was striking. She had the same eyes and hair, she breathed the same and smiled the same, she even smelled the same. The others could all tell that even if Carlisle's thoughts hadn't been screaming it to Edward since they arrived. On the way back, they told the whole story to Bella who was, of course, confused. The newborn was understandably shocked that her lifelong friend resembled in every way her father-in-law's dead mate.

"She even thinks the same," Edward had said as they pulled into the garage. They could tell Carlisle wasn't back yet so Edward took Bella up to his study to show her the painting from 1873 that hung in his small gallery that usually was covered by a black silk cloth. While Carlisle refused to remove the painting, he couldn't look at it every time he entered his sanctuary, so it was Alice who gave him the cloth back in 1984 to cover it up.

Jasper took Alice's hand and guided her inside. Rosalie and Jacob sat on the floor with Carlie as she read to them softly. Emmett sat alone at the chessboard, moving between white and red as if working out strategies in his head. They all looked up and Carlie smiled, running to hug her aunt and uncle, before curling against Jacob. All attention had shifted to Alice and Jasper as they all—save for Jacob—knew where they were and what they were doing.

"Where's Carlisle?" Rosalie asked as she stood, crossing her arms over her chest. Emmett moved as if pulled to his own mate's side, fingers falling to her shoulders. Jacob looked confused as he pulled Carlie up and sat on the light gray couch with her on his knee.

"What's going on?" he wondered, as if Alice and Jasper had some news of more danger.

"Carlisle's fine. He just...had to get away."

"Can you blame him?" Rosealie said softly as she stood. "She resembles Abigail, that can't be easy for him."

"Wait," Jacob said, standing as well with a deep frown. "Abigail? As in Abigail Goodwin?"

Rosalie sneered as her eyes flashed over to him. "What do you know of her, mongrel?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Probably a lot more than you."

"I highly doubt that."

Jacob snorted and smirked, mocking her stance, as he launched into his story. "Her parents were Gwen and Hank Goodwin. She was both February fourteenth 1984. But she was adopted, doesn't even know her birth parents names. She was born in Delaware, and they only know of her first name and birthday because it was written on a paper left with her when someone dumped her on the steps of a fire station. She was left out all night until the chief came in the next morning and found her there, nearly hypothermic and starving. Hank and Gwen never could have kids of their own and were looking to adopt, so three months after her birth, they flew to Delaware to meet her and immediately fell in love with her. When she was two, she fell down the stairs and broke her arm and got a cut on her cheek. She still has the scar." He pointed to the location on his own cheek. "She was there when Bella and I were born because Hank was best friends with Charlie and my dad. During the summer, since Gwen was a nurse and Hank taught summer school classes, my mom would watch her. She taught me and my sisters how to hunt and fish. When she was thirteen, she fell in the water and my dad jumped in after her to save her even though she knew how to swim. She graduated high school early and moved to Seattle to be a doctor, but wound up being a nurse. Her ex-boyfriend was emotionally abusive and so I drove up to Seattle to kick his ass, and he hasn't talked to her since, which is good because the next girlfriend he nearly killed. She trusts too easily and gets her heart broken too much, and whatever the hell you're doing with her... It better not hurt her because I'm not afraid to make you my next example in what _not_ to do to Abigail Goodwin."

Jacob's story left everyone speechless, even Rosalie who gawked at him like he grew a second head. But mostly they were sad because none of them knew her beginning and none of them knew if the abusive ex, the very thought of it had Emmett growling under his breath and he began pacing quickly in his spot.

So then it was time for their story, from start to finish, and Jacob listened quietly even as Bella and Edward entered the room. Edward's face was pained as Alice went through the story Jacob told for him, explaining what her life was like before they came along. After Alice's story, it was Jacob's turn to be stunned and silent, all of them looking at each other and for once, glad Carlisle wasn't there so they could talk more freely, though they all listened for him carefully.

"Do you think she's the same?" Jacob finally asked, voice quiet and not full of tense anger like it was before. He sat back by Carlie on the couch.

Alice shook her head. "No. I mean...how is that possible? Reincarnation doesn't exist, especially for our kind. None of really believe we have souls."

Jacob snorted and frowned. "See, I don't believe that. The rest of the bloodsuckers, maybe. But you guys?" He shook his head. "You're good people. And if my Abigail is exactly the same as the Abigail you knew, then I _know_ she had a soul because there's no way mine doesn't. She's one of the best people I know." He sighed, all of them quiet again as they took in his words and his unexpected compliments. "So what are we gonna do?"

Alice frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jacob rolled his eyes and sat forward. "I _mean_ , if she's just like your Abigail, then we have to get her to remember. She might be my Abigail now, but they sound like one in the same. Kind, soft spoken. Polite and yet brutally honest. Sarcastic and funny, clever and so smart." He paused. "Not to mention, she's beautiful enough now to be a vampire, can't imagine what she would look like after the change."

"I can," Alice said wistfully. "But if it's true, if she's our mother come back to us... How do we get her to remember? She's still human, we can't tell her our secret. Can you imagine that? 'Hey, you're actually the reincarnation of Carlisle's dead mate. You were a vampire for almost two hundred years, but then a nomad ripped your head off and you died. But don't worry, if you remember this then you can be part of the family again, so just think real hard about being a blood sucking monster.'"

Jacob was glaring at her at the end of her rant and huffed. "Well, you could be _nice_ about it."

"Before we do anything, we would have to talk to Carlisle. We all miss her and want our mother back, but she's his mate. His opinion comes first."

"What happened, anyway?" Rosalie spoke up, but this time she wasn't defensive, just neutral with a hint of melancholy.

"It was too much for him. She's exactly the same in every way, Rose. I thought if he saw her and noticed the differences, saw the flush of human blood in her and her beating heart, maybe even a difference in her voice or laugh, then he would be fine and we could move on. I wanted to prove she wasn't _his_ Abigail, but I'm afraid all that happened was proving that his mate is still dead and now her ghost will be haunting him. She even works in the ER as a nurse."

Suddenly Emmett hissed and they all looked over at him, his face a line of fury and pain as he turned and stalked from the room, running once he hit outside. Alice frowned and looked back at Jacob who seemed confused.

"What's with Thor?" he wondered.

"Emmett was particularly close to her. He was the youngest of us and she always called him 'Baby Boy.' He took it as hard as Carlisle did when she died, and didn't speak to Edward or I for a decade because we didn't tell them what was happening. I saw her death in a vision, and of course Edward saw it in my head, and we didn't have time to explain, we just ran. But it was too late, she was dead before we even got close. Emmett thinks if we had just said what was happening, he could've gotten to her in time. But Carlisle was with her, he watched the nomad kill her. If he couldn't stop it, Emmett surely couldn't have either."

Jacob moved to say something, but Edward held up his hand to halt him as they all heard Carlisle's footsteps returning. "Say nothing, mutt," Rosalie growled to him before yanking him over to sit down with Carlie again, everyone going to an activity so they didn't make Carlisle suspicious of their discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you all have probably noticed a couple changes. What are these changes you might ask? Well for starters, this story does not include Esme. Originally I stuck her in and had her mated with Garrett, but it just felt too forced, so she will be edited out. If you see her name at all, _please_ don't hesitate to let me know in a comment so I can edit the chapter. The other thing you might notice is the name **Carlie**. This is Renesmee, but for obvious reasons, I had to change her name. Since Esme doesn't exist, Bella wouldn't have gotten her name from their mothers. So **Carlie** is **Car** lisle and Char **lie**. It makes a lot more sense to change it then keep it in for no reason. ANYWAY, here's chapter five, hope you all enjoyed! Thank you once again for reading, and comments are love!
> 
> Outfits for chapter five:
> 
> \- [Surprise Guests](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_four-five_second_chance/set?id=220362461)


	6. Breaking the Rule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all! In case you didn't see above, I have now discovered this story will have thirty-six chapters in total! I have thirty-three written completely, thirty-four is almost completed, so all I need to do is finish chapter thirty-five and thirty-six. I have thoughts on doing a sequel, but I'm not 100% sure quite yet as I would have to figure out what plot-line I would do for that one. However, even if I don't, I have a couple other ideas floating around that I might do. As always, thanks for reading! Comments are love!

**-Abigail-**

Even though she knew it wasn't her fault, she was still nervous about Monday. She knew that Carlisle was a surgeon in the ER which meant she would be working with him pretty closely as it could get kind of tight in the trauma rooms. Part of her wanted to call in sick, but she decided she was still new enough that it would be bad practice, plus she didn't want his reaction to her to ruin her career. _So he doesn't like you, big deal,_ she thought, though it made her shudder and actually tear up. Angrily she pushed the tears aside and forced herself into the car with Beth to head for Forks Community.

"Hey, Brett!" she called to the on-call doctor as she headed for the lounge that was for staff only and included lockers for the nurses and doctors along with a small kitchenette, a couple tables, and a couch. Beth said goodbye at the elevator to go up to the third floor where maternity was. Abigail was all smiles until Dr. Cullen was spotted reading through a medical journal on the couch. She knew his sabbatical ended at the end of last week— _Maybe he really did have a meeting, it could've been about his return to work,_ she thought to herself, though she wasn't sure she believed it. Still, it was better than the irrational fear that he hated her for no reason.

Sighing silently, she headed in to her locker, gulping as she felt eyes land on her, though she didn't look up as she busied herself looking through her bag for her badge and thermos of coffee that she always brought with her. The thermos was easy and she set that atop the locker, but her badge seemed to have disappeared. Her eyebrows furrowed with frustration and she finally took out her wallet, keys, and phone to search without the clutter.

 _Please tell me I didn't forget it,_ she thought irritably. She shoved everything back in and checked the inside pocket she never used before tossing her bag in and searching the pockets of her dark purple, gray, and black plaid peacoat. She sighed as she found it in the right pocket, wondering how it got there as she always tossed it in her bag, but she had been off lately so she supposed she wasn't completely shocked. The jacket was tossed in next along with her thermos, knowing it would keep mostly warm, before heading over to set her bagged lunch inside the fridge, clipping her badge on the bottom hem of her scrub top as she went.

She was proud of herself, she hadn't looked at Dr. Cullen once, even though she still felt his eyes on her. _No use torturing yourself like this, Abi. He's just a man; forget about him._ But even as she thought it, she knew he would never be _"just a man."_

Turning to head for the door, she gasped and stumbled backwards against the door to the fridge as someone suddenly blocked her path. Hands shot out to steady her, and her gaze whipped up, her breath slamming out in one strangled gasp as she stared into Dr. Topaz Eyes himself. His face was as blank as it had been the other day, at least at first, but then he smiled kindly, if a bit sadly— _Oddly enough_ —as he made sure she was steady in her footing.

"Miss Goodwin, I didn't mean to startle you. My apologies."

Between his smile and the words he finally honored her with, her heart all but stopped in her chest as her mind raced for something to say that didn't sound totally stupid. He stayed patient as she worked through...whatever it was that was happening in her mind, and finally she managed to get herself under control enough to shake her head.

"I-I'm fine, Dr. Cullen. Thank you." She took a step away, unable to concentrate with his cold, lovely long fingers keeping her trapped. Well, it felt that way, or maybe it was his eyes... Blinking quickly, she cleared her head and got her heart going again, giving him a quick answering smile. "And you can just call me Abigail. Or Abi." She shrugged. "Whichever you want."

He chuckled and it was the most amazing sound in the world; she found herself leaning closer to hear it and try and seem nonchalant at the same time. His arms went to lock behind his back and his eyes fell to their feet. "Very well, Abigail." He paused for a moment. "That's a very beautiful name. Has anyone ever told you before?"

 _My damn heart,_ she thought as once again she struggled to keep it working. Slowly she shook her head, matching his small smile. "Never," she breathed. "But thank you." She reached up to tuck a piece of stray hair behind her ear, ready to speak, when the lounge door burst open and she jumped.

Her eyes widened, she looked over to see Dr. Jones—aka Brett—peak in with a frown on his face. "We have an accident coming in. Nothing major, but we could use your help, Abs?"

Abigail let out a breath and nodded, ignoring the annoyance than sprang up at the nickname, and gave Carlisle another smile. "Excuse me, Dr. Cullen." She slid around him, headed for the door.

"Abigail?" Her name brought her to a halt and she turned slightly, looking back at the beautiful man before her, his topaz eyes twinkling at her.

"Yes?" she managed to ask.

"You can call me Carlisle." He paused. "Please." Her eyebrows raised in surprise and slowly she smiled again, wider this time, feeling it light up her face even as she felt a bit bashful. _Don't be stupid, he's just being polite because you're friends with his kids._

"I'll see you later, Carlisle." Ducking her head, she followed after Dr. Jones quickly to enter the trauma room.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

_"I'll see you later, Carlisle."_ The words rang through his memory as he wandered down to his office. His shift started in a half an hour, but he always like to be early to through his patient files, especially having been gone as long as he had. He hadn't expected to see Abigail first thing and he very nearly left, but he knew he couldn't avoid her forever. She was friends with his kids, and now they worked together. _Just like old times,_ he thought sadly. But speaking with her, his name slipping off her tongue... It was the most beautiful sound in the world and he longed to hear it every single day.

Because no matter what he said, no matter what he tried to hide, the truth of the matter was that he _had_ felt something when he saw her, the feelings buried so deep he thought he had forgotten them. But they were the same feelings he had when he first saw her on the battlefield in 1776 and again every moment he saw her until her last breath in 1955. The sight, the sound of her death never left his mind, haunting him. He never forgot it, never let himself think of anything but that sound for the last fifty years. It's why he spent so long in that silent state, to force every thought to be of her, to make sure every moment of eternity he was tortured with the sound of her body being ripped in two, the sound of her falling limply to the ground, the sight of her being tossed in that burning barrel like garbage.

Only Edward, he supposed, knew how much he thought of her and he hated to torture his son with it, too. He hoped by now the boy stopped listening, tuned into other frequencies because all Carlisle's mind included was his own personal hell, replaying the night he lost his love and his life due to his own failures.

It was because of these failures that he knew, that he firmly decided, he would never pursue any type of relationship with her now. For some reason, somehow and some way, she was given a second chance at a human life. He knew his Abigail was in there, firmly believed that this was his love come back to life, to _him_. Reincarnation was never in his beliefs, and he wasn't sure if that were even what happened now, but it didn't matter how it happened, only that it did. So he wouldn't take it away from her, because despite the beast inside him roaring to make her his once again, take her and claim her as he had so many years ago, he knew he couldn't do it. He had a better hold of his monster and he would fight it. He took away her life twice before, and now it was her turn to live it. The urge to protect was even more powerful than that to possess, but she had good friends like Charlie and Billy that would look after her.

Truth was, though, he wasn't sure how much longer he could live by her side without being with her. As difficult as it was now, watching her be happy without him would be too much. He knew by letting her go, by not having her remember him and not pursing a relationship, that meant that she would eventually find someone else to be with. His monster roared with fury, but he ignored it studiously as he got up to begin his shift.

Stepping out the door, he paused because the object of his aching agony stood not twenty feet in front of him. His office opened into the main room and she stood leaning over the desk speaking with Mackenzie, the receptionist. He took that moment, that selfish moment to watch her eyes light up and sparkle, her soft pink lips pull into a grateful smile, her lightly tanned skin flush with blood and hiding her rhythmically beating heart. It was music to him, hearing her alive and human again.

The beast saw Dr. Brett Jones before he did, his ochre eyes zeroing in on the way his hand settled far too familiarly and casually on the small of her back. She turned to him, the smile lifting her lips higher. He spoke and she nodded before turning to wave to Mackenzie, then let Dr. Jones lead her way, hand still on her lower back. The beast was contained, but just barely, rattling furiously behind the cage as wave after wave of jealousy and fury raged over him. He actually began to tremble a little, but his facial expression told nothing of his inner turmoil or rage.

Battling down the monster, he headed to Mackenzie to speak about patients, knowing without a doubt he would never survive watching her be happy with another man. It would kill him.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

Near the end of her shift, Beth found her in the lounge and excitedly told her about a date tonight. It was with some lab tech from maternity—Rick something—and she wanted to borrow the car. Abigail knew that meant she would be walking, but she gracefully handed over the keys and hugged a squealing Beth. She just laughed and ignored the way her feet already hated her. She bribed them with a hot bath when she got home, but they didn't want to forgive her quite so easily until she forked over the goods.

At seven she clocked out, grabbing her coat and bag before heading out for the twenty minute walk. It was dark out, of course, and she cursed herself when she realized she forgot one of her dad and Charlie's most important rules: never walked alone in the dark without a flashlight and pepper spray. She was breaking the rule completely as she took out her keys to try and make it a little better, putting different keys between her fingers as a makeshift weapon.

B _etter than nothing,_ she thought. She was lost in her own thoughts as she walked, flipping between her dream, the hot bath, her tired feet, and that morning's conversation with Carlisle. So lost, in fact, she hadn't realized that a car had sped up and pulled up alongside her until a horn beeped.

She squeaked and jumped, looking over in fear at an unfamiliar black car. She was all ready to run, feet stumbling back, holding the keys tighter, when the passenger window rolled down, and her lips parted in shock.

"Alice?" she sputtered, noticing a second later the irritation coloring the girl's face.

"What in the _hell_ are you doing?" she quickly jumped out, putting her hands on her hips. "You're lucky Emmett and I happened to be driving this way." A quick glance inside and Abigail saw the bear-sized man from the wedding sitting in the driver's seat silently, not looking at her. She hadn't met him yet, maybe that's why he didn't care. "You could've gotten hurt!"

"I have my keys," she mumbled lamely, holding them up for a second but Alice's expression had her dropping her arm and looking at her feet like a scolded child because that's exactly what she felt like. "It's just a twenty minute walk, Alice."

"I don't care. Get in." Without another word she climbed back in the car and shut the door roughly. Abigail gawked at her, ready to balk and argue, but one more look from Alice had her scrambling for the back door. As soon as it was shut, Emmett squealed off, quickly bringing the speedometer up past eighty. She forced herself not to look out the window in fear of what she would see.

The car ride was silent and she could tell Alice was still fuming, but as they passed her place and then Charlie's quickly, she frowned. "My house is—" She stopped at Alice's expression.

"We're going to ours," Alice said simply. Abigail's feet complained loudly, wanting that bath, but she wasn't willing to speak up for them as they drove along the old highway. Without the twinkling fairy lights, she never would've seen the drive way, but Emmett clearly had no problem finding it. The three mile lane was bumpier in the car than Harry's Blazer so she hung on as they got closer, eventually opening into the meadow. It looked a lot different without the wedding decor, but she loved how it looked naturally, too.

Emmett pulled up into a garage already full with other cars that sat next to the house. She was taking in the red BMW convertible next to them when the door opened and Emmett's hand was there in eyesight. She hadn't even realized they had gotten out, so Abigail just sheepishly took his hand and allowed Alice to lead them inside, Emmett still beside her but his hand had moved to the small of her back.

The house looked a lot bigger inside than it even seemed outside and she gaped at the large kitchen and dining room that opened into an even larger great room. The whole family seemed to be there doing different activities: Edward sat at the piano with a small girl with long bronze-colored hair, Bella stood to the side watching them silently with a small smile on her face, a blonde girl sat playing chess by herself to which Emmett quickly joined, Carlisle stood off to the side silently staring out the window, and on the couch was none other than a grinning Jacob Black. She had no idea he was even friends with the Cullens and the sight of her good friend made her squeal and launch herself across the room and into his arms.

The boy laughed loudly as he stood, easily catching her and holding her against his warm body. Like Charlie, he lifted her right off her feet so she dangled about a foot or so in the air, her face pressed against his shoulder with his happy laugh in her ear. He all but swung her around, which he probably would've done except for the coffee table in the way, but there was still enough room for the hug.

"God, I missed you," Jacob breathed against her ear.

"It's your fault, kid. You made yourself a stranger."

"Hey, you're the one who was in Seattle."

"I've been back for five months! And I'm at Billy's nearly every weekend with Charlie." She clicked her tongue and pulled back, narrowing her eyes at his childish, grinning face. He was almost seventeen, but she was glad to still see the kid in him.

Slowly he lowered her to her feet, making sure she didn't stumble around the coffee table. "Sure, you hang out with everyone but me, and it's my fault."

"Of course it is," she said with a wink before giving him another hug, but around the waist this time, face pressed against his warm chest. It was comforting to be with someone who knew her so well, someone she's known for most her life, when a lot of the world seemed to be so foreign to her.

Slowly she turned to the others and they had odd looks on their faces, but it wasn't something she could place. Heat rose to her cheeks and she reached up to push escaped pieces of hair behind her ear. "Sorry," she said self-consciously, eyes moving round the room and shyly catching Carlisle's for a second.

A blank, yet resolved expression stayed on his face and she felt...well, almost disappointed. She thought the conversation that morning meant he didn't hate her, yet he was looking at her now as he had at her house the other night. Quickly her mind flipped through the day; she hadn't even seen him again after that first contact. Then it flashed over the other day, and without meaning to, through her nightmares and how they transformed because of him.

A choking sound made her looked over at the piano in alarm where Bella was rubbing Edward's back soothingly. "Swallowed his gum," she said and Abigail raised an eyebrow, but accepted it. It almost felt like he was reacting to her thoughts of her nightmares, but that was impossible so she shook away the notion immediately. In doing so, she turned to Alice who's expression had turned back to the irritation from the car and her cheeks darkened even more, making her look glumly to her feet.

"Want to explain?"

"Beth took my car for a date and I've walked home alone in the dark dozens of times in Seattle, I didn't think anything of it here..." One glance back to Alice told her that was the _wrong_ thing to say as her irritation changed to anger.

"In _Se_ _attle_?! Do you know how dangerous that is?!" Abigail simply shrugged. Alice sighed. "Look, if you need a ride, call one of us. Or ask Carlisle, he leaves around the same time you do. But don't walk alone, even for the twenty minutes."

"I'm sorry. I'll call you next time. I honestly didn't think it would be such a big deal." Her parents, Charlie, Billy... They would be angry, but none would react like she committed a felony. What made this time so different? What made these people so different? It's like...like she was too precious for them to lose, and their fear come out in anger. Though the closer she looked, the more she realized there was fear there hidden behind the mask. Bone-deep terror and it made her eyes widen in shock. She barely knew them, they barely knew her, why were they so concerned for a girl they didn't even know? _I_ _'m nothing to them,_ she thought, trying to decide if she heard another sound from Edward, but let it go.

Slowly she stepped closer to Alice and the girl's anger drained into that fear that Abigail saw in barely a second, and a moment later she was wrapped up in Alice's cold arms. _Are they always this cold?_ she randomly wondered, noting the stark contrast of Jacob's warm skin, but neither bothered her because it just suited them.

She smiled gently and hugged her back, arms tight—though not as tight as Alice's, as if she were afraid to let Abigail go—and murmured, "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry. It'll take more than some crazed man in a dark alley to take me down."

She meant it as a joke, trying to lighten the situation as that's just what she did, but another noise from Edward and a shudder from Alice made her shut up and clung to the pixie girl as if her life depended on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've mentioned before, but there are some Easter eggs, if you will, with the side characters in this story. They're from another fandom, one of my favorites. :D If you've noticed, you're awesome.


	7. Wolves in the Woods

**-Abigail-**

Despite Abigail's protests that she was fine, nobody would let her leave that night, especially Alice. Luckily she was set up with a bath and a pair of pajamas— _These things are worth more than my house,_ she thought wryly—so she could relax. She actually wound up falling asleep there and woke up coughing and sputtering out soapy water which made her much more alert to her surroundings and she finished up quickly after that, making sure to wash her hair and every inch of her body to get the hospital smell out. She dried off with a far-too-fluffy-to-be-real towel and pulled on the pajamas she was given. Admittedly, they were incredibly soft and silky and felt perfect against her skin, though she was afraid to sleep in then and wrinkle them.

Alice met her outside the bathroom with an exhausted expression. "Seriously, I thought Bella was prone to life-threatening idiocy, but she never did it twice in one night." _She must've heard the almost drowning,_ she realized and blushed, muttering out an apology. Alice simply sighed and shook her head, showing her to a bedroom. She texted Beth quickly telling her not to worry if she wasn't there in the morning, she was with Alice—though she would have to go back pretty early because she needed a clean set of scrubs—and would be home the next night and they should do dinner because it had been awhile. But she didn't wait for a reply, she laid down as soon as it sent and was out like a light a moment later.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

"She's remembering."

Those were not the words he expected from Edward as soon as they all heard Abigail fall asleep in the guest room. All eyes turned to him immediately, Carlisle's in particular. While he had been blank and emotionless the whole night, that brought a round of panic and dread to him that had Jasper looking at him wearily, but Carlisle waved him away as he took a step up to Edward.

"What do you mean?" he asked, voice weary and quieter than normal just in case she woke up for any reason. The last thing they needed was her to hear their conversation.

"She's having dreams...nightmares. She thought about it for a second earlier when she was looking at you, Carlisle."

He blanched. "Me?" he asked, suddenly very tired, almost feeling ill. "She's having nightmares about me?"

Edward shook his head. "Not exactly. It looks like she had nightmares that changed after she met you. They used to be her alone in an alley with a big man with glowing red eyes. He reached for her and ripped her head off, and then she felt heat." Carlisle closed his eyes in agony as his own ever-present memories of that night threatened to pull him back into that thirty-year black hole, but he fought them back so they only lingered enough for the pain. "But when they changed," he continued, his voice thick as he read Carlisle's memories, "she wasn't alone. Carlisle, you were there and pulled her away. The man with the red eyes erupted into flame and you told her nothing would happen to her."

Carlisle hissed, his face fighting between agony, fear, panic, and anger. "But I didn't," he hissed. "It can't be a memory because she died."

Edward frowned. "How could it not be a memory? The nightmare... That's pretty much exactly what happened, isn't it?"

Carlisle's face fell back into it's mask as everything but agony faded as quickly as it came on. "Yes," he whispered.

"She hadn't thought about any others for me to know if she's remembered anything else, but I'll keep a look out. Maybe being around us will jump start something."

"I hope so," Emmett said glumly. "It sucks being around her and her not knowing who I am. And I can't call her 'mom.' How exactly do we work with this?"

"The best we can," Rosalie said quietly, putting a soft hand on his arm and squeezing lightly. He gave her a small, sad smile.

"No." Everyone looked at Carlisle in surprise and he shook his head, turning back to stare out the window, ignoring the fact he could see all their reflections in the glass. "I won't be pursing anything with her." Emmett hissed, and Carlisle ignored him. "If she remembers, it'll only hurt her. It's best if she doesn't."

"Are you saying you don't want us around her?" Emmett asked through clenched teeth.

Carlisle sighed. "It might be best," he whispered. "Think about your mother. If she remembered us, and then found out she's staying human, what do you think that'll do to her? She has a second chance at a normal human life. She doesn't remember us. Let's give her some peace and keep it that way."

Everyone was silent until Emmett snarled and turned to stalk out of the room. Nobody else said anything, not even Rosalie who Carlisle expected to agree with him, and perhaps she did even though she wanted her mother back, so he stayed where he was until the first lights peaked over the mountains and hid behind the ever-present clouds. Emmett still wasn't back.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

She had to admit, she never slept as well as she had that night. The bed was luxuriously comfortable and she luckily didn't have any dreams or nightmares. It felt...well, she felt like she was headed to a funeral as she woke up to a quiet house, other than the alarm on her phone going off. She had quickly silenced it and lay there for a couple minutes before deciding she had to move. She had to get home and get her clothes changed for work. Since she had a bath so late, she wouldn't need a shower, but she would freshen up on perfume and deodorant.

She tugged on her previous night's clothes and wandered downstairs. The whole house was empty other than Jacob sitting on the couch and flipping through a magazine. He looked up as she entered, smiling even though it didn't seen quite as big as it had the night before, but he quickly pulled Abigail into a hug anyway.

"They all had some errands so I'm going to take you home," he said. Abigail grinned, feeling a pang of sadness when she realized they were gone, but she pushed it away as she knew she would see them again soon. _Gotta get my Cullen fix,_ she thought with a silent laugh. She still hadn't formally met a couple of them, but that was okay because it would come soon enough. She didn't think she wanted to go away anytime soon. The thought startled her as she had never become so attached so quickly, but there was just something about this family that changed her.

"Ready?" he asked, holding out his arm. She giggled and nodded, taking it as he led her outside. Sitting in front of the house was an older Ducati motorcycle. Her lips parted in surprise as Jacob lead her up to it.

" _You_ can ride a motorcycle?"

He scoffed. "Why're you so surprised?" He plucked the single black helmet off the seat and fit it carefully over her head, tightening it to the right amount before he was satisfied she would be safe.

"Well, it took you four months to learn how to ride a regular bike..."

His eyes narrowed at her. "Says the girl that kept pushing me off." Abigail giggled.

"Guilty." She allowed him to help her on before he climbed on himself and it started up with a roar. Abigail grinned and kept her arms tight around Jacob's waist as they roared through the streets, her hair flying in long curls behind her as he screeched up behind Abigail's car in the driveway. He helped her off and took the helmet. "Thanks, Jake. I owe you." She leaned up to kiss his cheek and it made him grin. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

She waved and turned to jog back inside, missing the sad look that crossed his face as the door shut behind her.

* * *

The rest of the week went rather slowly. Why? Because she had not heard a single thing from any of the Cullens the whole time. Even at work, she didn't see a sign of Carlisle anywhere, even though she knew he didn't take vacation or another sabbatical as she heard others call for him. She even tried to call them, left a couple messages, but nothing. At first she was irritated, but then that stifling loneliness crept up into her body and she found herself crying herself to sleep a couple nights.

_If they didn't want me, why the lectures on safety? Why try and get to know me? Why offer me rides and not pick up the phone? Why even try and pretend they care?_

So many questions and so little time to ask them. She even tried to ask Jacob, but he avoided them and she grew irritated with him as well. She knew Beth could tell something was wrong, but how was she to explain she got dumped by an entire family? So when Beth told her she was taking off for the weekend with her new boyfriend, that Rick guy, Abigail didn't argue. She wished her luck and let her use the car before settling inside for hopefully an eventful weekend. Because it was officially the _"stop crying and get over the Cullens"_ weekend. It would be hard to do, that's why she needed the full two days. She remembered trying to get over boyfriends before; how was she to start getting over a whole family? Especially ones as amazing as them? _Can't be too amazing if they pretend to be friends and leave me without a word,_ she thought irritably. Which was good, anger was better than sadness in this situation.

Grabbing her book that had the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe, she left her phone behind and headed out to the woods behind the house. About two miles in, there was an old swimming hole she used to go with her dad and she planned to sit and read the whole day. She checked for her key in her pocket before taking off.

She knew the woods so well she made it there easily, especially with her old, well-worn hiking boots on. The spot was just as she remembered and she smiled as she stripped off her coat to sit in the sun and pulled the book out. She read it so many times the pages were yellowed and crinkly with age, but she was careful as them as she read. She got so lost in them, transporting herself into the world of Poe, she didn't realize she had fallen asleep until the red eyes stared at her. Off her head came and she woke up in a cold sweat, panting as if she had run a mile, her body aching and stiff from sleeping on the rock. She sighed and cracked her back, moving to stand, only she realized she could barely see anything. Moonlight cracked through the branches of the above hanging trees, but it was barely enough for her to search for the book, which had been dangerously close to falling in the water.

While she was pretty at ease during the day, she remembered words from Charlie, Billy, and her dad: don't go into the woods at night. And here she was, alone without a flashlight or anybody in sight, no Beth at home to worry about her missing, not until early Monday morning. If she got lost, she was dead. She didn't know the woods in the dark.

Panic and dread rose in her and she clutched her book tightly as if that would transport her to day time or to another time entirely where she wasn't lost, alone and terrified in the dark woods.

"Carlisle," the name leaving her lips before she even realized she thought it. Yes, she wanted him to be the one to save her, the beautiful man with topaz eyes and cold, pale skin. But he left her like the others so she was alone, left there and desperate.

Well, she thought she was alone, a twig snapping too close for comfort had her jumping up and spinning around. "Who's there?" she called, her voice shaky and scared as terrified tears began to drip down her face. _Whoever you are, just kill me quick._ It was too dark for her eyes to adjust and for a moment she thought she was seeing things, but it took a minute for her to realize that she wasn't, the creature in front of her was real, if the aching loud pounding of her heart was any indication.

It was large, covered in midnight black fur with piercing dark eyes and paws larger than her head. It stood as tall as a horse, probably taller, and stood there glaring at her as if she were just a bug. She felt like it, so small next to the big animal.

 _Wolf_.

She gulped and slowly stumbled back, heart pounding even louder in her ears, taking another couple steps. It only followed her with its eyes and she knew she was having a panic attack as it was hard to breathe, her head spinning, but she couldn't help it.

"Please..." she whispered. The animal suddenly whined, it's face falling into almost a look of melancholy and it let out a loud howl into the air making her jump. More howls answered it and it was a quick understanding that it wasn't alone. That's what got her moving, a loud cry tearing from her lips and she turned to run, only her feet caught in the branches at her feet and she tumbled down the side and right into the swimming hole. She gasped as she plunged into the icy cold depths and it was all she could do to drag herself out, fingers digging into the soft mud sharply. Her book floated away forgotten, but she scrambled out, casting a terrified glance over her shoulder. It hadn't moved. It's gaze never left her, though, and she hissed at the cold air and the stinging on her arm. Ragged rocks lined the little swimming hole and one had ripped through her skin causing her arm to rush rivers of dripping crimson. She winced, but ignored it and began to run. To where? She didn't know, but anything was better than becoming wolf food.

Strangely it didn't seem to follow her, but she ran anyway, head swimming with dizziness from the fall, her bleeding arm, and the panic attack still pushing through her body. Her lungs ached as she jumped and ran over the leaves and fallen branches in the woods. It wasn't until she was about a mile away that she heard something that brought her up short, panting as she leaned against an old sycamore, trying to catch her breath and focus, wondering if she was hearing things.

"Abi! _ABI_!" Abigail gasped. _Jake!_

"Jake! _Jacob_!" Her heart leapt and she quickly went running in the direction of his voice, hearing him call out for her again. She realized she was making a lot of noise, but this was _Jacob_ , he would save her from anything. They called for each other again and finally she burst through some trees onto a small clearing barely ten by ten, and he stood there, not winded at all but looking terrified and he uttered a low cry when he saw her.

She sobbed as she flung herself at him, her arms wrapping around him so tightly she couldn't breathe. He picked her up off the ground and she didn't care that her legs wrapped around him; they did it anyway. He was so warm and she realized how hard she was shivering only then, how badly her arm hurt, but she wasn't willing to let him go.

"God, I'm so sorry, Jake," she whimpered. "Thank you for finding me."

He pulled back slightly took look down at her, his pain-filled eyes taking her in and only once he was satisfied she was—mostly—okay did he pulled her back into his arms. "What the hell happened?" he demanded gently.

She sniffled and slowly calmed down, letting her body slide down so she was wrapping her arms around his waist. "I went to the swimming hole my dad used to take us to. I was confident because I had been there before. I took a book to read and didn't realize I fell asleep 'til I woke up and it was dark. I don't know the woods in the dark." She sniffed again. "I got scared and was going to try and see if I could find my way, but—" She hesitated.

"What?" he pressed softly.

She sighed. "Please believe me... But I saw a _wolf_ , Jake. A _huge_ wolf. All black with these glaring dark eyes and huge paws; it was bigger than a horse." She shivered and realized then how still he had gone. She pulled back and he was staring down at her in horror making her heart squeeze. "What?"

"You saw a wolf?" he asked quietly.

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "I swear it's the truth."

He gulped for a moment, staring over her head, before finally nodding. "It's okay, Abi. I believe you." With that he leaned down and swept her up into his arms, one arm under her knees and one under her back. She squeaked and clung to him with her good arm, the other lying in her lap as he began walking... _toward_ where the wolf was. She tried to scramble away as her heart burst with fear again. "Hey, whoa, Abi, it's okay. I've got you."

"But the wolf's that way, Jake," she said desperately.

He paused, eyebrows furrowed. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. He smiled and kissed her nose.

"Then let me protect you. I won't let anything hurt you." Slowly Abigail nodded, her body calming down as she leaned into his warm chest. The shivers from the icy water were lessening, but it only made her arm sting more. He made his way back towards the swimming hole, her body tensing, but they passed by it.

"Are we going to my house?" she wondered softly.

Jacob shook his head. "Nope. We're going to the Cullens'."

Immediately panic was back and she tried to scramble away again, but his arms simply tightened. "Jake, no. They don't want me, just take me home." Jacob sighed without a word as if he knew a secret he couldn't tell her, and headed away from her house.

It was about fifteen minutes later they broke to the edge of the meadow. The large white house sat still, but cozy with soft, warm yellow light spilling out the large windows. There was somebody in the window, at least it seemed like it, but Abigail blinked and they were gone. She pressed her face to Jacob's chest.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked glumly. She was still convinced she was right.

"You're bleeding."

"It's fine."

"You need stitches."

"So take me to the hospital."

"Carlisle's better than any of those pinheads."

Abigail sighed. "I haven't spoken to any of them in almost a week. Why do you think they would care?" Again Jacob didn't answer so she gave up, leaning against him sullenly as he headed for the front door.

"How'd it happen?" he wondered softly as he scaled the steps.

She sighed, wincing as the bright light hurt her eyes. "Like I said, I was at the swimming hole. When the wolf appeared, it scared me and I tried to run, but I tripped and fell in. I think I cut my arm on the rocks."

" _Wolf_?" The voice was Carlisle's and it was more a snarl than anything making Abigail wince and not pick up her face from Jacob's shoulder. Apparently Jacob knew she wouldn't be letting go so easily because he sat down with her—at the kitchen table, it seemed—and kept her on his lap.

"Yeah. She said it was big and black." Something seemed to be hidden in his words because the air of hostility slowly settled, but she could still hear agitated movements around them.

"Is that what hurt her?" Again Carlisle, again a snarl. She squeezed her eyes closed.

"Who cares? Just put a band-aid on it so I can go," she mumbled irritably—okay and she wasn't doing the best job of disguising the hurt in her voice—sticking out her oozing arm. She wasn't willing to look up from her savior's shoulder. Jacob saved her, Jacob was safe, Jacob was family. She didn't really know these people and they clearly didn't _want_ to know her. _Let's just get it over with,_ she thought numbly.

Nobody spoke or moved for a moment, but eventually she felt gentle, cold fingers on her that she assumed was Carlisle. She hissed as the next feeling was an alcohol swab, but her body didn't move. She knew blood needed to be cleaned away and probably some dirt as she spent a good bit of time trying to yank herself from the water. She knew her fingernails probably had mud caked under them, and her clothes were drenched and filthy. Suddenly she felt bad and frowned against Jacob's skin.

"I'm sorry I'm getting you all wet and dirty," she mumbled to him.

He chuckled and brought up a large hand to stroke her hair. "Don't worry about it, Bunny. It's all good."

She giggled then and slowly pulled back to bring her tired eyes up to her friend's amused face. In the light, she could see he was still rather frightened, so she reached up with her good arm to push his lips up into a smile, which made him snort.

"You haven't called me that since you were ten."

"Yeah, well it's still true. Your nose still wrinkles up like a bunny when you laugh or smile." Suddenly self-conscious, she pressed her face back to his chest to giggle and he kissed her hair affectionately.

"Does not," she uselessly argued and he simply snorted again. She yawned softly, pulling her hand up to hide it.

"Adrenaline's wearing off."

She hummed. "I guess that happens after being chased through the woods by a large wolf." Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully and she pulled back. "Now that I think about it, though... It didn't. It saw me, I fell in the water, but it never tried to attack me or go after me. I mean it howled, but it didn't show teeth or anything."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "That's gotta be good, though, right?" Abigail shrugged.

"I suppose. I don't know how wolves work. Maybe it was catching my scent to chase me to my house. Like a tracker or something." She shivered and Jacob shook his head, pressing her back to his body.

"I'll never let anything happen to you, Abi. You said you trust me, so don't worry. I'll protect you." Abigail smiled and closed her eyes.

A pinch to the arm made her jump and look up in alarm, and she realized she forgot where she was. Carlisle was bent over her arm, face blank and passive as usual. Edward, Alice, and Emmett hung back behind him, faces guarded and not looking directly at her. She hated how much that hurt and looked away, back down to her arm, but not the man bent over it.

"What's the verdict?" she wondered. She realized the poke was a needle and realized her arm was slowly numbing.

"You need stitches," he said softly, a hint of a tremble deep inside that she didn't know what to make of so she tried to ignore it. "I numbed it so I can begin." He paused. "I assume since Jacob brought you here, you didn't want to go to the hospital."

Abigail shrugged. "Didn't matter to me. I wanted to go home, but he brought me here."

Carlisle nodded slowly. "Which is a good thing. You could've gotten an infection if this was left untreated." Abigail glanced away and didn't say anything after that.

It didn't take too long to sew up, and afterwards Carlisle wiped on some antiseptic wash and bandaged it up. "You'll scar, but you'll be fine. Don't submerge it until the stitches are out." She sighed, knowing it was habit to say it, but she knew all that already seeing as she worked in the ER same as him.

"Thank you," she murmured, pulling her arm back to her body closely and looking up at Jacob. "Can I go home now? I'm tired."

"Yeah, Bunny, I'll take you home." He glanced over at Carlisle as she pressed her face against him again, so she didn't see the look of agony that filled the doctor's eyes. Jacob nodded with a sad smile and stood up with her easily, and since they got there on foot, that's how they would have to get back. He said quietly goodbyes and carried her outside.

Immediately she wished she had at least been brave enough to ask for a blanket as the wind chilled her body. Jacob pulled her closer as he moved back into the woods and quickly towards her house; it was quicker through the woods than finding the road and walking that way. His body heat soon did the job, though, and comforted her into a light doze, at least until she realized she was being set down in her bed. She looked up at him and he smiled.

"Just sleep for now. I know you wanna get cleaned up, but wait 'til tomorrow. I'll be downstairs in case you need me."

She frowned. "Don't you have better things to do than sit all night in my living room?"

"Nope," he said without a second thought. "I said I would protect you, Bunny, and I meant it."

"But sleep—"

"I can sleep anywhere so if I need to, I've got the couch. Don't worry your pretty little head about me and just sleep. I'll be here for you, okay?"

Abigail slowly nodded, realizing she didn't have enough energy to fight, and yawned as she pressed her face into the pillow. "Thanks, Jake," she murmured as sleep claimed her once again, drifting her off into a different world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter seven: 
> 
> \- [Bedtime](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_seven_second_chance/set?id=220362544)  
> \- [Woods](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_seven_second_chance/set?id=220362605)


	8. Revelations

**-Carlisle-**

Carlisle was pretty sure that was the hardest thing he's ever had to witness. He knows Jacob imprinted—to Carlisle's granddaughter, no less—but that didn't mean it was easy to sit calmly and passively while the young man's hands comforted _his_ mate, held her close and kept her calm in a way Carlisle couldn't have in that moment. He kept her warm even after the cold water chilled her—Edward told him the story as Jacob had repeated it to him in his mind from what Abigail had said—and kept her panic low. It was Jacob's shoulder she hid her face in, Jacob's body she took warmth and comfort in, Jacob's words that made her giggle beautifully.

And Carlisle would never be able to do that again. By his own choice. He remembers making her laugh and smile, remembered comforting her and keeping her calm, soothing her with words and soft touches. He gave that up in 1955 when he let her die. And now she was back, but it wasn't him that would do any of that stuff. It was Jacob. Or whoever she would choose to love for the rest of her life.

If he couldn't handle it with Jacob, someone who was just her friend, how was he supposed to handle it when those touches were sensual caresses? When the kiss wasn't to her hair, but those soft pink lips? When she was burying her face in his chest to keep passionate cries at bay? When she was sated and satisfied from making love to him?

Oh, the beast roared at that, carrying on for hours and hours until Carlisle realized his entire body was trembling enough to shake the whole house, and had been for some time, but luckily nobody said anything. And still the beast carried on, snarling out protection and possession, begging him to make her belong to him before another man did, and it took everything in his power not to go stalk over there and do something he would regret later, like letting her believe that they had any sort of future. It was a moot point, he fought the beast until he felt like he was actually exhausted. It wanted her, he loved her, and neither of them could get what they so desired: the love and tender caring of their beautiful mate.

Nobody commented on what just happened, but all of them were tense with the emotions they weren't willing to express. Edward's eyebrows were drawn tight and his gaze was almost accusing as he stared down Carlisle who took up his usual position in the window. He had been the one there when Jacob had come into sight with Abigail in his arms. It was he who alerted the others; not even Edward had been paying attention. But he had paused and repeated Jacob's words and the fury in Carlisle was so intense it almost suffocated him. Clearly the wolves weren't there to hurt her; the wolf she had seen was Sam Uley and he never would've done anything to hurt her. Her seeing him had probably been an accident as Jacob also told Edward it was he that noticed she was gone as she wasn't picking up her phone. Once night hit, he had enough and called out the packs to find her, and it was Sam simply sounding the alarm. Carlisle would always be grateful that they found her and brought her home, but that didn't make it settle any easier in his stomach that she was alone in the woods at night with the pack in their wolf forms. He trusted them, but this was his mate, he watched her die once and he was sure he couldn't do it again.

 _We'll have to leave before that happens,_ he thought, eyes sliding to Edward. His son stared him down, but finally gave him a solitary, resolute nod. They would have to for Bella's sake anyway, maybe another year or two at most, but that didn't make it any easier. So Carlisle went back out to staring out the window, expression grave and pained as his mind replayed those familiar, horrific memories with those of tonight twisted in.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

Abigail woke up coughing, her chest achy and unable to breathe through her nose, ears warring to try and hear anything other than her own breathing. _Great, the cold water made me sick,_ she thought with a miserable groan and buried her head under pillows and blankets. She couldn't hear any sign of Jacob downstairs, no sounds of movements, snoring, or the television. Or it was just her own ears not cooperating because of being congestion. But she still couldn't help the pang of disappointment at the thought of him not being there. _Deal with it, Goodwin. He was here all night and protected you like he said. You're a big girl._ The pep talk didn't help one bit.

Slowly she extracted herself and dragged her aching body to find some clean clothes and then into the shower. Her dirty clothes were shed and tossed in the hamper, and then she turned to put the hot water on full blast. Climbing in helped a little bit, the steam making it a bit easier to breathe through her nose, but as soon as she was done, she was back to congestion and sniffles. She dried off quickly and yanked on her clean clothes: older very warm bunny pajama pants Jacob got her for her birthday one year, slipper socks that went almost to her knees, a ratty old Mariners shirt that had been her dad's, and her plain black hoodie. It felt better to be so warm and she yanked a brush through her hair quickly as she padded downstairs, not surprised to find the house empty.

It made her frown, but she pushed away her stupid feelings and went to get some soup. Immediately she was upset about her book as she realized it wasn't on the coffee table, so she sighed and grabbed another one instead, one of the Faulkner's, and curled up with the small quilt she kept on her dad's chair—one her grandma, his mom, made her when she was six. It was soothing and she laid there quietly, letting the peace of the moment wash over her.

Well, until a loud knock at the door made her yelp and she jumped in her spot, frowning as her fingers tightened on the hard spine of the book. "Jake?" she called out tentatively and slowly stood, dragging the quilt with her to the door as she gingerly opened it and peaked out. Jacob was there alright, but what shocked her even more were the two people with him: Alice and Carlisle Cullen. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened to ask, but then a coughing fit hit her and she weakly waved them in and went to slump back in her dad's chair.

Jacob was by her side in an instant, frowning as he laid a warm hand on her cold, clammy forehead and she instantly felt better. "This is why they're here," he murmured after her coughing had eased, answering her unspoken question.

"How'd you know?" she croaked.

Jacob clicked his tongue in disappointment. "I heard you, I was here all night. Didn't I tell you I wasn't gonna leave?"

She gave him a smile that was probably more of a wince. "Yeah. But you were gone when I woke up so I assumed you got bored..." Her voice trailed off at the aggravated look on his face.

"Like I can ever get bored with you around."

"I was asleep," she pointed out.

Jacob snorted. "Doesn't matter." He sat back with a sigh and beckoned Carlisle forward and she eyed the three of them wearily. "Just let the good doctor here check you out. If he prescribes anything, I'll run and get it."

"Thanks, Jake," she murmured.

It was all she could do not to cough on him when he started checking her out. The night before had been so intense and draining, she couldn't focus on how his fingers felt on her skin, all she had wanted was Jacob's comfort. But then, with sleep in her system and the effects of the adrenaline gone, she could focus on how _good_ it actually felt, Carlisle's fingers soft and tender against her skin. He was much colder than her even in her clammy state, but it felt incredible and her heart started to race, pounding viciously behind her ribs as he carefully checked her over. He was close enough that when he checked her ears, she could feel his cool breath in her cheek and she had to keep from making a noise. _Why is he still getting to you? You let them go, remember? Don't let him effect you._ But it got worse as it went on, so much so that she was holding her breath by the time he was done. He prescribed amoxicillin and handed Jacob the small sheet of paper to be filled.

"If they have any questions, make sure they call me," Carlisle instructed softly. Jacob nodded and put the paper in his pocket. Carlisle backed away carefully, eyes passive as always as he gazed at her, and only then did she breathe, pulling herself back in the chair and curling into it, sniffling. "Peppermint tea is also good."

"I have some," she croaked, gesturing weakly for the kitchen and Jacob jumped up to go out the kettle on, leaving the rest in an awkward silence, Abigail's fingers twisting together in her lap as she stared at them intently, not willing to bring them up. She felt eyes on her, unsure if they were Carlisle or Alice, but it was unsettling. _Maybe they're just tired of taking care of you,_ she thought sullenly. _You've gotten hurt, fell ill, and pulled a couple dangerous stunts since you met them. They're not your family, they barely know you. No wonder Alice was so annoyed last time. She wasn't scared for you, she didn't want to save you._ Abigail hated the thoughts, but decided she was right. It's like she got back to Forks and became stupid. So she promised herself it would never happen again, she wouldn't do anything to make them or Jacob have to save her or feel sorry for her. She would strengthen her self-preservation so nobody would have this burden. _When did I get to be so depressed all of a sudden?_ She had a sick feeling it was the first look into a certain doctor's ochre eyes. Well, not because of him, but rather because she couldn't have him.

Her heart squeezed and fell into her stomach, a gasp stuttering in her throat as it felt like she was drowning even more so than when had fallen into the water the previous night. She forced herself to stop because it was silly. He would never want her to begin with. Besides the fact that she just met him, he's spent his time proving more than once he wanted nothing to do with her. Maybe he saw the feelings on her face that told him how she felt whenever she saw him. But that couldn't be, could it? She wasn't exactly a _"wear your heart on your sleeve"_ type of girl. So all she had to do was let it go, let _him_ go. But she knew that was easier said than done.

Because she was in love with Carlisle Cullen.

A squeak left her throat and it ceased the quiet, almost silent conversation she then noticed between Carlisle and Alice, both of them looking to her in surprise. She jumped up, head spinning as her breath hadn't caught up with her yet and she wheezed as her lungs tried to work double time even through the ache in her chest, and she stumbled slightly around the edge of the couch.

"Gonna go see if Jake needs help," she muttered and then turned and fled the room like that wolf was there to finish the job and kill her.

She had been left alone soon after that as Jacob went to fill her prescription and the Cullens left to...well, she didn't know, but they were gone and that's what was important. She could've handled Alice or any of the others, but having Carlisle so close when she knew the future held only anxious heartbreak for them hurt her more than the wound on her arm or the cold settled into her lungs. It felt like she couldn't breathe around him, like she needed air that she couldn't ever have.

It never occurred to her that _he_ was that air.

Not until her next dream, but it wasn't the same. For the first time, she dreamed about something different, and of course Carlisle was there.

It started off in dark streets where she was running, legs and lungs burning and she was terrified. She thought at first it was an extension of her usual nightmare, like how she came to find the red-eyed killer, but soon she was on a boat with some other women and a few men. She realized they were all dressed in colonial style clothes, the men in ragged uniforms and the women dressed as nurses. With a glance down she saw she was as well. She blinked in confusion, but then she was standing in a tent and it was daytime. A man stood next to her, the name unknown, but the name of the man in front of her was one she knew well: Carlisle.

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. You will be his assistant, Miss Goodwin." He glanced at Carlisle wearily as if expecting a fight, but the young doctor wasn't looking at him. His eyes were on her, burning and tender with smoky affection in their depths. Her breath caught, her knees trembling, and the man beside her continued to speak, but Abigail wasn't listening. She was lost in the caramel swirl of Carlisle's ochre eyes. They had more emotion than she had ever seen in them, and she almost fainted when he took her hand and brought it up to his lips, bowing and letting his cool breath waft over it as he pressed a gentle kiss to her skin.

"How do you do, Miss Goodwin? It is a pleasure to meet you. I am very happy you are here."

The scene changed and she was laying on the ground. Something was wrong, though: she couldn't breathe. She tried to draw in ragged breaths, but it only made rough gurgles fall passed her lips. It was a second later she realized her mouth and lungs were full of something, and by the coppery metallic tang of it, she figured it was blood. The right side of her chest felt like it was on fire, and all she could do was pray, _Dear, God, I am sorry for my wrongdoings. I am sorry for leaving my father and for loving a man I should not. Please allow me into Heaven's gates as I repent my sins. I pray to you, Heavenly Father, to forgive this poor peasant girl. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, Amen._ She was confused because she was never a religious person, but she was dying and it seemed like the right thing to do

Only she was sure her prayers, weak as they were, had been answered because an angel appeared over her. That's what he had to be because there's no way any mortal could be as beautiful as the golden haired, topaz-eyed creature that crouched over her now. He spoke to her, his words muddled in her foggy mind, but his eyes were so full of pain and agony that it ripped her open and she found herself reaching for his face even as her body fought to eliminate the blood gurgling from her throat, though she knew it never could. He leaned over her then as if to whisper something in her ear... And she was burning, writhing in agony, twisting right there on the bloody ground.

She shot up, gasping and covered in sweat and tears, wrapped in her blankets as she struggled to determine reality from her dreams. She was in her bed, in her house, alone. It was 2007 and not 1776. She was a nurse, but at a safe local hospital. Carlisle was a doctor, but not during the American Revolution. She wasn't dying, she wasn't on fire. She was safe...though, thinking about it, even while dying and drowning on her own blood, she felt safe and cared for...she felt _loved_. So much, in fact, it was stifling. She didn't know how to deal with that level of emotion. It ate away and ate away until she was sobbing into her pillow. Because even though she didn't understand, she knew she was missing _something_ for the first time in her life, it felt like she wasn't complete, like a part of her—a large part—was missing. It ached, growing stronger and stronger until she was gasping, trying to draw in air, and it kept getting worse.

She didn't sleep again that night, crying into the morning where she debated whether or not she should go to work. She was exhausted, still sick, and she didn't know if she could face anybody, but she knew if she laid there she would just dwell on the dream and her aching soul, desperately longing for whatever it was that was missing, and she knew she couldn't handle twenty-four hours of that. So she got up, showered, changed, and left. Beth wasn't back yet and her friend had warned she might not be back until that night, so Abigail found the pepper spray Charlie had given her a couple years ago, finding that itwas still good. She also put her gloves and scarf in her bag because it would be chillier later that night, and her small flashlight.

As usual, she didn't see a single sign of Carlisle anywhere once she entered the ER. She said a quick hello to Mackenzie and then Brett showed up. Immediately he knew something was wrong and tugged her onto the couch with him to talk.

"C'mon, Abs, I'm a good listener." He sat with a patient smile and she sighed softly, looking at her twisting fingers.

"Just a bad dream," she said softly. Though it was a total lie. It was the best dream she's ever had, to be that loved and cherished and by _Carlisle_ no less, she realized she wanted to have it again that night, even if she woke up early gasping in emotional agony again. Then again, maybe it was a bad dream, because it taunted her with images and feelings she would never have in real life. Giving her Carlisle only to yank him away under the harsh rays of morning. She still didn't understand, they've barely spoken and he seemed to dislike her, and here she was like a silly school girl. But she wasn't about to tell Brett any of that.

The man frowned and reached for her hand to squeeze it. It made her a bit uncomfortable and she shifted, but didn't pull away. "Aw, Abs, I'm sorry. Next time just think of me and I'll save you." He grinned broadly and she knew he was trying to make her feel better, but it made her uncomfortable again and she chuckled lightly.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Goo— Oh, hello, Dr. Cullen."

Abigail froze, her eyes shooting up to Brett and then over to the door where she realized Carlisle had paused in the doorway. While his gaze was passive as always, his hand was squeezing the doorknob so hard it was a wonder it didn't break. She hadn't even heard him come in, but she had been so wrapped up in her thoughts and what was okay to tell Brett and what wasn't, so that was her fault for not paying attention. Her eyes flickered from his grip on the doorknob to his beautiful face and felt her heart spasm, pounding and breaking behind her rib cage, and suddenly it felt like in the dream when she was drowning.

She was on her feet before she knew it, trying not to panic like her body felt it was going to, limbs tense and she looked quickly back and forth between the two men. "Thank you, Brett, but I should get to work. I'll be fine." She nodded and glanced at Carlisle who had slowly let go of the door and stepped aside so she could leave. "Carlisle." She nodded as a lame greeting and quickly fled the room, heart pounding and she had to force herself into an empty room to calm herself down before she could begin working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter eight: 
> 
> \- [Sick](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_eight_second_chance/set?id=220362808)


	9. Jacob's Truth

**-Abigail-**

That night, nobody pulled up alongside her as she walked and for that she was glad. She had her light out, pepper spray in her hand, and kept it out all the way home. Luckily she hadn't seen Carlisle or Brett the rest of the day and she was able to lose herself in her work. Her chest ache was down significantly, but she was still congested so she made more soup once she got home. Beth gushed to her about her weekend and Abigail was appropriately happy for her, but she excused herself once Beth got settled for dinner. She wanted to go see Jacob down at the reservation, so she bundled up and headed out, grabbing her car keys on the way.

She decided that she trusted him enough that he wouldn't think her a freak for her dreams. Never before had she trusted somebody like that, but with him she did. It terrified her and made her happy at the same time. She would have to explain how long she had been having them, and tell him of the recent changes. She wasn't sure if she should exactly tell him that it was Carlisle that changed them, or her feelings about any of this, but she figured he would get it out of her eventually.

Billy's house was lit up by the time she got there and she smiled happily, shutting the engine off, but it quickly faded when she heard the yelling and the front door burst open. It was like Jacob didn't even see her as he stalked towards the tree line. She gasped softly and quickly got out to run after him, her heart breaking at her best friend's turmoil. His legs were long and it took a lot of running, but finally she was able to keep up with him even as her breath huffed out of her lungs.

"Jake!" she called. "Wait!" She saw him pause and she breathed in relief as she caught up to him, panting as she put a hand on his arm. He was trembling and seemed even warmer than usual so she quickly reached up to feel his forehead, frowning. "Jake, are you okay? Are you sick? You're really warm."

Gently he tugged her hands away and dropped them between them, the trembling getting worse.

"Get out of here, Abi."

Her mouth dropped and it stung much more than she ever expected. She took a step back, looking at him with wounded eyes, and yet he didn't back down, glaring at her. "What? Jake, what'd I do? What happened?"

"You can't be here right now. Go home. I'll see you tomorrow." He turned to walk away and she huffed, reaching out to grab his arm.

"No! Look, I don't care that you fought with Billy. I don't care how angry you are. You're my best friend and I'm not leaving."

Jacob gritted his teeth. "Abi—"

"No," she said stubbornly. "What's wrong?"

It seemed that her words only fueled him and he wretched his arm away, quickly putting about fifteen feet between them, but he stopped there, not going any further. The trembling got worse and soon there was a ripping sound and then a loud roar. Abigail glanced around for a moment, afraid suddenly that the wolf from the woods found her, and when she look back, Jacob wasn't there anymore. Or rather he was, but he was leaping in the air, his body quickly morphing in a giant, russet brown wolf. The roar was coming from his throat as he shook his muzzle around, landing on four large paws.

Abigail screamed, jerking back and stumbling over a rock, falling hard to her bottom. The wind got knocked out of her, but her legs and arms propelled her back a few feet, staring at the creature with terrified wonder. Clearly not the same wolf as this one— _Jacob_ —was brown and not black, the eyes a deep chocolate. Jacob's eyes. He snarled for a second, but then all the fight seemed to leave, the large face falling into a look of melancholy. A whimper left his throat and carefully he sat down, making him closer to her height.

He didn't look angry in the least anymore, in fact he looked apologetic, and he laid his head on his large front paws, looking at her wearily. Abigail's heart jack-hammered and she stared at him, unsure and unable to move. It took only a second for her to realize that she wouldn't be running away, even though something impossible and mind blowing just happened right in front of her, so impossible she wasn't sure quite yet if she even believed it. Jacob became a wolf. A beautiful wolf, but a wolf nonetheless. People didn't just become wolves, they didn't just change into animals, and yet she was proven wrong by the creature in front of her.

Jacob. Her best friend.

Slowly her panic eased because she knew something: Jacob would _never_ hurt her. Jacob protected her. Jacob was safe. Jacob was home. Why should she be afraid of that? Just because it wasn't normal, didn't mean that she should run. Because this was _Jacob_ , and she could never run or be afraid of him.

He whimpered again, probably sensing her inner fight, and she felt bad for causing him the distress. Was this what he had been fighting with Billy about? She had a feeling it was. She knew Jacob and he would hate lying to her. He probably wanted to tell her and Billy disagreed with him. So, as Jacob was always stubborn, he showed her anyway. Slowly Abigail moved until she was on her knees and crawled the distance between them gingerly, hand out. It was a closer distance now considering his size—which, she realized, is why he backed up so she wouldn't get hurt—and slowly her hand found the brown fur.

Jacob gently lifted his head into it, telling her it was okay, and she giggled softly, a gentle smile breaking over her face. She moved closer then, deciding no ounce of fear was left in her, and she leaned forward to wrap her arms around his thick neck.

"You realize I'm going to call you the Hulk now, right?" she teased. "Get mad and poof, you're a wolf." The snort he let out was probably a laugh and she giggled again, pulling back to cup her hands over his cheeks. "Oh, Jake... I wish you told me sooner, but I know why you didn't. I'm not angry. And I'm not scared." She paused. "Does anyone else besides your dad know?"

He looked a little surprised, but nodded and made a little noise as if confirming.

"Is it just you?"

He shook his head as a no.

"That's why you're so strong, isn't it? You carried me like it was nothing."

He snorted again and nodded, leaning up to gently nudge her and gestured as if behind him. Her head tilted and she frowned.

"I don't understand."

He huffed and nudged her again, snapping at his neck, and then gesturing again. For a moment she raised a confused eyebrow and then it dawned on her, making her eyes widen.

"You want me get in your back?" she wondered.

He nodded yes.

"Won't it hurt?" The words were out before she thought and his look of annoyance made her giggle. "Right, sorry. I'll just have to get used to it, Hulk." He snorted again as she moved, clambering up and over his back, her fingers finding purchase in his soft fur, but she felt very secure where she was. Even as he stood up, she barely wobbled even as she felt his shoulder blades under her thighs. "Where are we going?" she wondered. He let out a noise, like halfway between a bark and a snort, before moving with her into the woods. She was glad she had the mind to shut her car door as her bag was still in there. She trusted it being unlocked, though, as it sat outside Billy's.

It was even darker out then as it was the night she got lost. Frowning, she leaned down closer to his ear as he walked quickly, but easily through the woods. "The other one, the black wolf... Do you know him?" Jacob seemed to pause, but his big head nodded and she knew he could exactly tell her then. "And he was safe." Another nod. "So that's why you said I would never be hurt. And you would protect me. The wolf is someone good and was helping find me. Wasn't he?" A nod. "That's why he didn't chase me. He just sounded the alarm and let you find me. Because he knew that you would be what I needed." Nod. She squeezed him around the neck. "Thank you, Jacob. I did need you. And I trust you. I feel so safe with you. I know I won't get hurt." _Physically_. But she didn't say that out loud. Jacob huffed and he almost seemed embarrassed and it made her giggle, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

They walked for a bit longer and she realized she sort of recognized it, but she couldn't put her finger on it until the woods broke into a meadow and a large, white house appeared. Her jaw dropped and she shook her head, moving to shimmy off, but he wouldn't let her, just pushed her back on with his snout.

"I told you they don't want me," she hissed. "And shouldn't you be changing back?" He said and did nothing, so she sighed. "They know, too." It wasn't a question, but he nodded anyway. She sighed and stayed silent as he moved for the house.

She forced herself to be as passive as she had seen them, even as she saw the door open and a few of them spill out: Edward, Alice, Emmett, and Carlisle. What forced the passiveness away, only because she was so shocked, was the livid fury on Carlisle's face as Jacob stopped at the base of the stairs. His ochre eyes seemed... _are they black?_ Must've been the lighting because that was impossible. But the rage confused her; she _knew_ they didn't care about her, so why did they care that Jacob showed her?

"You realized how easily you could've killed her?" Carlisle snarled causing red dots to appear on Abigail's cheeks. He didn't look at her, just glared at Jacob. She heard her friend huff, and she knew he was rolling his eyes which made the corner of her lips twitch in amusement. "This isn't a game. Do you remember what happened to Emily?"

Abigail gasped. " _That's_ what happened?" She had noticed it, of course, but had no idea.

"Sam got angry and phased; she was standing too close." Carlisle was speaking directly to her now, and she was surprised at how quickly it had changed from anger at Jacob to careful softness for her. She gulped as her heart gave a quick lurch.

" _Sam_? As in Sam Uley?"

Carlisle nodded. "He was the black wolf in the woods."

"That's why you were so sure he wouldn't hurt me," she said to Jacob. She grew up with Sam, too, as he was halfway between hers and Bella's ages and she was always at La Push in the summer. She trusted Sam, same with the rest of the Quileute boys.

Jacob nodded under her.

"No wonder you're all so warm. It's a wolf thing, isn't it?"

Jacob snorted and nodded.

"Alright," Carlisle said, her eyes snapping up to him at the tone. Clearly he had enough of the conversation and she didn't understand the pained look crossing his features. It made her remember her dream and how he looked at her as he leaned over her dying form, and Edward's eyes flew to her. She gave him a questioning look and he looked ill, quickly heading into the house with everyone else looking after him for a moment. "Let's get you inside. Jacob, phase back so we can talk."

Abigail frowned, but nodded. Jacob carefully lowered himself to the ground and Abigail slid off him, stumbling for a second after being back on her own two feet, but caught herself with the help of Jacob's arm. Emmett was at her side a moment later and she couldn't read his expression as he gently took her arm and guided her up the steps and inside. The rest of the family was in the grand room like normal and her cheeks heated as they all looked at her. Edward's face was carefully arranged again and she smiled slightly, pulling her coat closer for comfort as Emmett helped her into one of the chairs.

It was silent until Jacob, Carlisle, and Alice came back inside with Jacob smirking along at the back. He had only some cutoff jeans on and she grinned at him. He moved to sit next to her chair, leaning back against the side of it.

"So, are you sure I have to be the Hulk? Can't I be something cooler like...Iron Man?"

Abigail snorted and rolled her eyes, knocking on the top of his head with her knuckles. "Please. Your head isn't _that_ hard. Besides, takes something special to be Tony Stark."

"And what's that?"

"When I figure it out, I'll let you know."

Jacob scoffed and she giggled, falling silent as she realized all the eyes were on them, and she blushed again.

Suddenly Carlisle went rigid and his gaze snapped to Edward who simply looked back at him evenly. She didn't understand their little quirks, this wouldn't be the first time she saw that happen, but she just looked away, glancing down at Jacob who was looking at the others warily.

"So...why am I here?" She really hoped it didn't come out as rude as it sounded so she winced. "Sorry, I just...are you guys wolves, too?"

Jacob chuckled. "They only wish they were that cool." Abigail patted his shoulder. "They're friends of the pack."

"Pack? How many are there?"

"Sixteen, give or take." Abigail's eyes widened in alarm, but it was gone as quick as it came. Because this was Jacob and the Quileute boys, they would never hurt her.

"Dang... Okay, so you what, guard people of Forks?"

Jacob shrugged. "More or less. Used to be just La Push, but some...extenuating circumstances changed that. Now we go wherever we're needed."

Abigail nodded. "Like into the woods to find stupid girls who fall asleep and get lost."

Jacob snickered. "Yeah, like that." He paused. "Sam's really sorry for scaring you, by the way. He felt horrible. He didn't mean for you to see him. He'll probably apologize in person, too. But like you said, he was sounding the alarm so I could come find you."

Abigail smiled. "Which I'll thank you guys for forever. Pretty sure you saved my life. Girl could've starved out there 'til morning."

Jacob scoffed. "Like I'd ever let that happen, Bunny."

Abigail giggled. "Bunny and the Hulk. Sounds like some bad '80s hair metal band." Jacob laughed along with her, both of them dying down into quiet contemplation when they realized they were, once again, the source for entertainment. Abigail sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for crashing your party here. I went to Jake's and found myself with a giant wolf instead and he brought me here."

"He brought you here because he knew how angry we'll be with him and he's hoping we don't yell in front of you." It was Alice who spoke and Abigail peaked over at her. It was Alice who had once seemed to care so much for her, and she was surprised at how much worry she saw behind her topaz eyes.

"But you guys aren't wolves, I don't see why you'd care." Again, she sounded a bit rude, and her lips parted as if she were going to apologize, but she had nothing really to say so they slammed shut again and her cheeks colored.

Carlisle's jaw tightened where he stood behind the rest and slowly he took a step forward, as if worried about her reaction. "Because we all care a great deal for you and being around the wolves can be dangerous. We don't want you to be hurt."

Her mouth opened in shock and then anger, her brows furrowing. "I can tell how much you care for me when one day you're telling me to call you for a ride so I don't walk home alone in the dark, and the next day you won't answer the phone. Until I got lost, I hadn't spoken to any of you for over a week." Her sarcasm had a hint of bitterness to it and she felt a tiny bit of shame at the sorrow that crossed Carlisle's face.

"We should've handled it better, I know. But we—actually, _I_ —felt it better for your safety if we stayed away from you."

She glowered at him. "Better for me? Or for you?" He looked surprised, but she pushed on. "Since the moment I first met you, you've acted so... _weird_. First just nothing at all, as if you could care less. Then you make it seem like you wanted to at least be civil and friendly. But then you just act the same way you did before, _nothing_. And then I get the silent treatment from _all_ of you. Never once have you shown me why _you're_ more dangerous than anything else. And now you're concerned for my safety." She scoffed and stood up, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you didn't want me around, all you had to do is say it instead of creating these confusing, silly little games."

She didn't wait for a response or to see what happened to his face that time, she just turned and stalked from the room, finding the front door easily and quickly, bursting out into the open air. She realized then she was trembling as her fury gave away to sadness and she sank to her knees on the cold ground, fighting back tears that always came whenever she was angry or upset or sad, but they came anyway, staining her cheeks and making her tremble even more. Part of her just wanted to run, just wanted to leave, and she cursed the fact her car was still outside Billy's house at La Push.

She made no noise, but she stayed there until she felt warm hands on her shoulders, guiding her up, and she pressed herself into Jacob's warm embrace.

"Let's get you home," he murmured.

"My car..."

"I'll bring it. Keys in it?"

She nodded and just let herself get lifted into familiar human arms. It took her the walk home for her to realize that all her venting had merely been pain and sadness and loneliness disguised as anger. They were allowed to push away anyone they didn't want in their lives, and she shouldn't throw a tantrum because of it. Clearly all of the previous interactions had been purely because they were trying to be nice, but truth was, they didn't want her. That hurt worse than not having them at all. Especially with Carlisle involved, who was probably embarrassed over her little fit. And she had a feeling they at least gathered her deeper emotions and that made it even worse. They felt sorry for her for loving a man who would never return her feelings. It was pitiful really, and she barely held in her feelings of aching sadness until she was alone in her room, Beth already asleep and Jacob gone, sobbing brokenly into her pillow. She had tried so hard to push away those feelings before, to not let it effect her as it had, but the truth was it was like all she could feel was the loneliness. She felt incomplete and so when she had that dream again, of being a nurse in the war with Carlisle, she cried herself awake and stared at the ceiling for the next four hours until she had to get around for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter nine: 
> 
> \- [Jacob's Truth](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_nine_second_chance/set?id=220362920)


	10. Invitation

**-Carlisle-**

If sleep were possible for vampires, he was pretty sure he would be exhausted. The previous night haunted him and he didn't move from his usual spot at the window until daylight broke and he knew he had to get around for work. Even then he thought of calling off, but the day wasn't sunny and he didn't know if he could sit around and listen to the echoes of her fury. It was understandable and he apologized to his family for letting it get there. And really, as Alice pointed out, he should apologize to Abigail as well for letting her believe they could ever be apart of her life. That was his fault, thinking it could work, but it couldn't. She had this second chance and he wouldn't be the one to ruin it for her.

"You know she's remembering," Edward said as he appeared behind Carlisle silently, his face reflected in the window with the soft morning light, just a hint of sun before it disappeared behind the cover of clouds. "We haven't seen her for a week except for a couple minutes at a time. But she's still remembering. Who's to say she doesn't remember it all? Then we're left with _your_ Abigail who's confused and hurt that the man who changed her and promised to love her for eternity suddenly no longer wants anything to do with her."

"She's not a vampire anymore, Edward. This is better for her."

Edward sighed. "Shouldn't _she_ be making that decision? She's an adult, Carlisle, and she doesn't need you to hold her hand. Remember how she acted when you tried to keep her inside every time something weird happened"

Carlisle turned his dark gaze to Edward. "Yes. I remember. Later that night, she was taken from me."

Edward shook his head. "For almost two hundred years you tried to keep her inside and it never worked. What happened... That doesn't mean she's weak."

"I never said she was." His Abigail was one of the strongest people he knew.

"But that's what you're acting like. Ask Jasper, those dreams...those _memories_...only confuse and hurt her more. She's been having the nightmare for years, so it's not just us that brought that on." He paused. "Besides, what if a vampire like Victoria came into town and decided it wanted her? Don't you think she's safer with us than alone?"

Carlisle winced as his already aching heart worsened. "Jacob and the wolves..."

"Maybe. But wouldn't you feel worse if for some reason, they failed?"

Carlisle growled and looked away from him. Edward knew the answer, of course. But he needed Carlisle to answer it himself.

"Yes," he hissed, walking away from him, effectively ending the conversation. Because of course Edward was right, he would rather keep her there and protect her himself rather than relying on the wolves. They could keep her safe, but it didn't matter, because Carlisle needed her /there/, with him. If she got hurt again, if he lost her a second time, he knew he wouldn't survive that. He would cave to selfish wishes and take himself out. So letting someone else guard her was out of the question. He needed her with him.

Quietly he knocked on Alice's door and when she acknowledged him, he went in. She was at her desk penning something, and looked over at him in surprise when she saw it was him. "I was expecting Edward," she said, confused. "What's wrong, Carlisle?"

He paused only for a moment. "I need you to come to the hospital with me today." Alice frowned. "I need you to extend an invitation to Abigail to join us for dinner tonight. If she declines, that's fine," He was expecting it, "but I want to at least offer." He paused. "I've...I've given in. Edward is correct. I can't have someone else taking care of her. At least in regards to her safety. I've already come to terms with her being with someone else," No he hadn't, the beast roared and shook its cage, chanting _Mine, Mine, MINE_ over and over again, "but I can't let something else like Victoria happen."

Alice didn't say anything for a couple moments before she nodded. "Alright, I'll come with you. As long as you tell me something first."

Carlisle frowned. "Like what?"

"Tell me that you love her."

Carlisle's eyes widened in shock. "Of course I love her," he whispered, chest tight.

Alice smiled sweetly. "Think of that when she remembers." Then she was gone, leaving him staring after her. Because Alice said _when_ not _if_.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

It had been Jacob that showed up to take her to work, driving her over and leaving her with her car. "Are you sure you can't stay?" she whined, making him chuckle. She was clinging to his waist as she stood outside the hospital. She only had five minutes, but she felt like she lost so much already that she just needed him there, needed to have her best friend.

"Sorry, Bunny. Sam needs me to help split up the patrols between the packs." He had explained to her just that morning how he was alpha of one with Seth, Leah, Quil, and Embry, and then Sam was alpha with the rest of them. "But I plan to stay within sight and hearing distance of your house. That's my territory and I don't have any plans to share."

Abigail giggled and looked up, smiling at him. "Jake, if you're needed elsewhere, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. I know my wolf is out there."

"No," he said simply, his face darkening for a moment before he smiled back. "Gotta run, but I'll try and be by later, okay?"

Abigail nodded and leaned up to kiss his cheek, watching silently as he jogged off for the woods that covered the east side of the property. Abigail shook her head slightly, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck stick up and she turned around. It felt like someone was watching her. Suddenly she wanted to call Jacob back to her, the feeling unsettling as she couldn't see anyone. Maybe she was just being paranoid, after all she had just found out about this whole other world out there in that the wolves exist. What's to say other creatures don't either?

She shivered and made her way inside to quickly stow her stuff away, unaware of the angry, intense eyes that followed her from one of the hospital's windows.

Around lunch time, she sat at one of the cafeteria tables with her Faulkner book. She had made a note to go find a bookstore in Port Angeles that had another copy of the Poe one she lost in the woods. It had notes from both her and her dad in it from the many times that they've read it, and that's what upset her the most. But she decided just to let it go as she poked at the pasta she was eating. Usually she saved money by packing her lunch, but Jacob wound up at the house early and they got to talking so she didn't get the chance to grab anything.

Reading helped calm her down, so she was glad she remembered to grab her book. It helped her forget about everything except the story the author was trying to tell. And Faulkner was good at that, especially when it came to forgetting about a certain doctor who she had yet to run into and was glad for. Her heart couldn't take it if she did; the separation was good for her. It made it easier to get over him that way, which she knew she had to do. But it also made her easier to forget her childish little tantrum, which she felt horrible for as he didn't deserve that, even if she did feel that way. So she would use this time to forget him, forget everything she ever felt for him.

"Hi!"

 _Alice!_ The voice made her jump and she looked up, her fork clattering to the plate causing everyone to look at her. Her face flushed and she smiled slightly as they turned back to their own meals. Alice didn't wait for an invitation as she sat down, carefully settling her legs under the table and locking her ankles together.

Abigail smiled slightly and shut her book, storing it away in her bag and pushing her tray aside. Seeing the daughter of the man she loved made her stomach twist in knots and her heart falter in her chest. Silently she begged Alice just to leave her be, but she didn't have the strength.

"Hi, Alice," she said softly, picking up her water bottle to take a sip as her throat was suddenly dry. "What can I do for you?"

"We're having a big dinner at your house tonight. Our family, the Quileute boys—and girl—will all be there, and Carlisle told me to make sure you're there as well."

Abigail frowned, her body freezing as her eyes flickered over Alice's face. She...well, she was stunned. She had no idea what to say it what brought this on. But Alice was there, too, when she had her little tantrum and she felt her cheeks heating as she thought back over that night. Now all of the family thought she was crazy, she was sure of it.

"I don't know," she murmured doubtfully, partly because she didn't think it was _Carlisle_ that said she should come. He should hate her even more after what happened. And partly because she also didn't think that she could show her face. "What day?"

"Tonight."

Abigail winced and then slowly shook her head, twisting the water bottle until the wrapper began to shred under her nails. Her lip tugged between her teeth and she realized she bit too hard when the familiar coppery metallic tang hit her tongue. She pulled away, unaware of the sharp intake of breath Alice gave, before she looked up at her again. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

Alice looked so sad for a moment that she almost took it back right there, but quickly it changed into a look of desperation. " _Please_? I know things have been...strange...but we all miss you. Especially me and Emmett."

Abigail frowned. "He's never said a word to me." Alice only smiled. Abigail sighed again, her resolve quickly fading. Even though she was hurt and upset, she realized quickly that she would do anything for Alice, anything to make her smile. It was a weird maternal thing that came out of nowhere and threw her for a moment, but she decided she felt the same way about Emmett. And even Edward. But Carlisle? That was a whole different ballgame. He was the real reason that she was hesitant. "You promise the Quileute boys will be there?" If she had Jacob and the packs to distract her, keep her mind off Carlisle being so close, maybe she could get through this with dignity.

Alice grinned and nodded fervently. " _Promise_!"

Abigail put her face in her hands before nodding. "Okay, okay. I'll be there. I get out at seven and I can be there about half an hour later, is that alright?"

Alice squealed and jumped up to hug her. It was a bit unsettling how she was acting as if the week before never happened, but if they forgot her tantrum, or at least pretended to, that would make things a lot easier. And Abigail decided she loved Alice's hugs so she squeezed her quickly before letting her go.

"That's perfect!" Abigail would need time to go home, change quickly—and promised herself not to primp because nobody there would even care how she looked. She knew she would never keep that promise.

"I've got to go back to work, but I'll see you then?" Alice nodded and squealed again before practically dancing out of the room. Though, now that Abigail thought about it, she always walked like that. She just shook her head and got up to go back to work, and try and keep her mind off the upcoming evening.


	11. Party

**-Abigail-**

The promise to herself was broken the moment she stepped out of the hospital. She ran to her car and jumped in, squealing out if the parking lot and making the short drive even shorter. Beth was out with Rick again so she was able to rush through things without questions or comments. She probably should've told Alice to expect her at eight to give her a bit more time considering how indecisive she was on outfits when she needed to look nice— _You_ don't _need to, you just_ want _to._ —but she wasn't going to change the time. She wanted to get there as quick as she could. So she took a five minute shower to get the hospital smell off her and looked through her closet as she dried her hair. She was sure her scalp was burned, but she worked quickly to curl it as well before pulling on a bra and panties with some white stockings.

While she was sure the evening was supposed to be rather casual, she decided she didn't care. Because _he_ would be there and there was no way she could be casual with him around. She pinned up her hair the same way she did for the wedding and selected a cream color dress she had worn to a hospital Christmas party a couple years previously. Only Beth had seen it before, so she figured she was good. It had lace around the bottom along with the half, off the shoulder sleeves and along the top. It had a peach sash around it and was tight to the waist where it flared out down to her knees. It was vintage looking and she loved it. That's why she had picked the dress she had for the wedding, vintage and old fashioned dresses were what she loved. She paired it with a simple silver chain necklace and her mother's earrings, and her shoes were the white peep toe pumps that she wore to the wedding.

Light makeup completed the look, and this time she grabbed a small purse with a silver chain that was actually Beth's. Keys, wallet, phone, lip gloss, money...that was all she needed. She smiled into the mirror, the flush on her cheeks natural, and for a moment she wondered if she was trying too hard. _Who cares? You look hot._ Maybe just a little. She sighed and quickly made her way downstairs and grabbed her coat, got in the car, and pulled away before she lost the nerve.

As she expected, she missed the turn the first time and had to turn around for it, her eyes carefully scanning the trees as she drove about five miles an hour. She began shaking as she drove along the three mile trail, almost causing the car to hit a tree as the meadow appeared and she shook even more. She held her breath the whole way, pulling up between Harry's Blazer and Jacob's Rabbit. Alice was on the porch and she swore she heard her squeal as she raced down the steps to Abigail as the car was turned off and she stepped out.

Alice was also in a dress, but hers was black and more form fitting, and her pumps were a lot higher. Abigail felt a surge of jealousy at how beautiful she looked, but felt it unnecessary. At least she wasn't totally over dressed. Alice leaped into a hug, pulling back to look over Abigail.

"Wow, you look beautiful!" she gushed. There was a secret behind her smile and she had no idea what it meant, but she just chuckled softly.

"Thank you. You look lovely yourself."

"I know." Abigail snorted and was forced to follow Alice inside as the girl kept her wrist clutched tight in her cool hand. _Wow, she's really cold, too,_ she noted randomly.

There was a lot of laughter and loud voices that came from the house and Abigail winced. She hated being the last one, but knowing the Quileute packs, as soon as they heard there would be food, they would've been over. Everybody was spread out through the dining room and great room, and Abigail tried not to get their attention as Alice stopped her to take her coat, but of course they noticed. Jacob was the first and he was by her in a moment, picking her up for a spinning hug which made her giggle.

"Well, who knew you could clean up so good." He smirked and she shoved at him with a roll of her eyes, but of course it had no effect on him at all. He and most of the pack had on simple jeans and shirt, probably so they could phase quick if needed and ruin the least amount of clothes as possible.

"I think you need your eyes checked," she said softly, even though she did feel rather pretty that night.

Jacob scoffed. "Girl, I can see for _miles_ , I know what I'm talkin' about." He reached up to ruffle her hair and she caught his wrist, eyes flashing with amused annoyance.

"You touch my hair, I'll rip your hand off, Jacob Black."

"Fifty bucks on Abi!" The voice was Jared and Abi giggled, moving to say hi to the packs.

Only once she was done and sat between Jacob and Sam—on their insistence—did her eyes flicker over to the more quiet members of the party. Emmett with the still unknown blonde, Edward and Bella with the girl who looked slightly older than last time which was odd but she rolled with it, Jasper with Alice now in his arms, and finally Carlisle who looked... _Is that shock?_ Yeah, he definitely looked shocked, as if he couldn't believe she was there.

Her stomach twisted and her eyes flickered to Alice's twinkling ochre eyes. _Oh, Alice, you didn't..._ To Abigail, it looked like Carlisle didn't even know she would be there. At least, that's what she told herself, there was no way it could've been shock at her appearance. Her cheeks colored and she looked away, hoping he wasn't too upset that she was there.

The boys had eaten most of the food, but there was enough left that Alice yanked her over for a plate before Paul grabbed up the rest of it, causing a fit of laughter to erupt with his brothers.

"It's a wolf thing," Alice said with amusement as she watched Paul hoover in the last of the food.

Abigail laughed. "I figured. Jacob's always eating me out of house and home, I swear. Last week, Beth and I had a small turkey to make for dinner. Woke up and the fool had baked and eaten the whole thing while we slept." She tried to look annoyed, but really she was just amused. Her stomach was still twisting as she was hyper aware of how close Carlisle was in the room and decided being so close to him was definitely _not_ a way to get over him. Her new dream flashed in her mind before she could push it away, so all she could do was swallow through it and try not to feel too ill as she ate, not wanting questions to arise if she didn't.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

The whole evening, Carlisle's eyes were on her, unable to be removed even if he wanted them to. The moment she stepped through the door, that magnetic pull had intensified ten fold and he was lost in the magic of her beauty. He was glad he didn't need oxygen to survive because he legitimately hadn't breathed once that entire evening, eyes riveted to her face as she sat amongst the giant wolves, happy and content, laughing and smiling in ways that made Carlisle jealous to be the one that made her smile like that. He was aware he probably screwed all of that up, but if she would at least take him as an acquaintance, then he could protect her how he needed.

 _The best way to protect her is with her in your arms,_ his beast snarled to him, of which he dutifully ignored. Those cards just weren't on the table, and never would be. He had to do what was best for her and just because he selfishly wanted her for eternity didn't mean he could take her. Part of him wondered if he should've let her go on the battlefield, but the thought of erasing those almost two hundred years together had him nearly writhing with agony; no matter what happened or what he felt, he wouldn't erase those years for the world.

Edward shot him a pensive look, hiding his own pain behind his eyes. The feelings of his children were almost too much to bear. They deserved to have their mother back, to have a complete family again. As much as Carlisle wanted to give it to them, he just couldn't bring himself to consider changing her, no matter how much he wanted her at his side. He would apologize formally to them later once the wolves and Abigail had left, but right then he couldn't speak aloud or remove his eyes from his beautiful mate even if his life depended on it. She _was_ his life and she deserved all his attention.

Carlisle's earlier shock when she came in had been for two reasons: the fact that she actually showed up, and her appearance. She was always beautiful, of course, but Carlisle had noticed rather quickly that her taste in dresses was almost too old fashioned for a woman her age, which is something that took his breath away. The dress she wore to Bella's wedding and the one she wore right then were both straight out of the '50s it seemed like, and it made his stomach clenched painfully as he thought of that night. His memory flashed to the events from before everything fell apart, remembering how they had made quick love right before leaving, and the only reason it had been quick was because they were desperate to be together, but they had to go out and look for the nomad leaving a startling body count behind him, enough the humans were getting suspicious. They had to stop him or take care of him before it got worse. Nobody wanted the Volturi involved. So they clung to each other quickly and desperately in their room before leaving to take their turn to search.

If he had known that would be the last time he would ever kiss her, last time he would ever make love to her... He had to shake away those thoughts because those were the ones that ultimately caused him to fall into that thirty-year coma, and he had too much to lose to do that again.

Eventually the Quileute boys ate up all the food that Alice and Bella had worked on for most of the day. Luckily Abigail was too caught up in their conversation to notice that none of the Cullens had touched a morsel of it. Of course they had excuses if she did, but Carlisle was glad that he didn't have to lie to her even more; it already felt wrong enough to do, and he didn't want to add on to it. If he had any say, she would never find out about them because that would lead to problems with the Volturi and he hadn't liked her around them as a vampire let alone the fragile human she was now. So keeping her in the dark as far as that went wasn't even up for discussion. He could only hope being there with them when clearly it was bringing more memories to her—he still felt rather lightheaded as he remembered Edward's quiet warning that she dreamed of her first human life, after she had left her father's up until the point she turned—didn't turn around and harm his plans to keep all of this from her. She could remember anything at any time, it's not like they could control it, and so he could only hope that the memories ended there.

But Alice's words rang in his head over and over again: _"Think of that when she remembers."_ Alice knew more than she was letting on, clearly, and it made him wonder if Edward knew. His son merely smirked and that told him all he needed to know. They wouldn't be telling him anything so he might as well not even ask.

Slowly he moved to sit in one of the only chairs not occupied by the Quileutes—most preferred the floor, it seemed—so he could be closer to the object of all his agony. Despite the pain, he felt calmer with her right there, with the knowledge that she was safe and alive once again, able to live her life as she should. Carlisle would always have this pain, would always be fighting with his monster over control of what was right versus his instinctual urges. Eventually he would probably follow her into death, once she left her human life, but he would keep her alive and safe and happy until that time came. And he would always be waiting for her.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

Most of the evening she sat between Sam and Jacob, but soon she started to feel overheated so she gently tugged herself away to sit on the floor. Well, that had been the plan anyway except Paul, who had been in one of the chairs, got up to let her sit and she smiled at him gratefully. The wolves seemed to prefer the floor anyway, so she supposed it wouldn't do any good to argue with him. Plus she could lock her ankles together considering she had on a dress. Part of her regretted dressing like she had, but she loved it and so she decided not to dwell on it too much.

She knew she looked good, and she wanted to look good for Carlisle, as unhealthy as that seemed. The childish part of her wanted him to eat his heart out, show him what he couldn't have. But the reality was that she knew he didn't want her, so those thoughts were invalid, he wouldn't care one way or another.

 _He would never want you, so stop trying._ The thought pushed her back into that depressive state that had her sobbing and clinging to her pillow. It was all she could do to keep herself smiling, though she would assume it wavered a little.

She didn't eat as much as she wanted, but her stomach twisted in such a way that she knew she couldn't keep it down so she handed it over to Jacob and insisted she was full. Her friend didn't seem to believe her, but she didn't offer anything else. It was only when the heat of the many wolves got to her that she excused herself quietly and moved outside. It was a clear night out so luckily it wasn't raining, but it was cool. Her skin prickled in goosebumps, but she didn't even mind as she gingerly sat on the front steps, mindful of anything that looked dirty, but like the rest of the house there wasn't even a stain on the wood. She crossed her arms over her thighs and looked up at the night sky and the twinkling the beamed down to her, smiling slightly when she saw what she assumed was a shooting star, but knowing her luck was probably only a meteor or something.

"Abigail."

The voice drew her out of her thoughts and made her jump simultaneously, looking back over her shoulder quickly, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Jacob would've been expected, but not the person standing there staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

Edward.

He hadn't spoken to her much beyond being tossed into the same room with her. _Against his wishes,_ she thought sourly, turning back to face the woods so she didn't see the frown that crossed his features. She didn't understand why she was suddenly so depressive in her thoughts; it never happened in Seattle. But ever since meeting this family and being shoved all over the place emotionally, she felt like a rollercoaster in the dark without any clue which way was up. It made her head hurt and so she buried her face in her palm, sighing shakily.

_And now you're in love with a man who you can never have, and will never love you in return. Good job, Goodwin._

* * *

**-Edward-**

_And now you're in love with a man who you can never have, and will never love you in return. Good job, Goodwin._

Edward was very good at keeping his monitoring of thoughts to himself, but ever since Abigail came into their lives—or rather came _back_ —he was finding it much more difficult to keep it to himself. He told the others more than he ever used to about what he heard, and most of it was from the brunette sitting in front of him. He hadn't expected to be so effected by them, and he never had before, but he supposed it was different since this was his mother and she had no idea the agony that her mere presence brought his whole family.

And here she was thinking that she loved Carlisle, but he could never love her in return. If only she knew just how wrong she was, how much Carlisle desperately worshipped her.

Edward wished he could tell her, but it wasn't his place, besides the fact he was sure Carlisle would legitimately kill him.

Gingerly he moved and sat next to her, hearing the way her heart pounded—oh it pounded so much around their family, around Carlisle, and it was no secret how she felt—and the silent exhale of air as she worked through her emotions.

"Hello, Edward," she said quietly. The way her voice caressed his name slammed him back to 1918 and he, too, lost his breath for a moment before he managed to get himself together. He was sure the others could hear them, maybe even the wolves if they were paying attention—by their thoughts, they weren't—and he knew they would be listening intently.

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," Edward said gently and Abigail shook her head. Slowly she moved her arms down around her shins and then looked up at him with a slight tilt of her head. The smile was barely there, but he could see the corner of her lips quirking ever so slightly.

"You didn't. I'm fine." She said that almost as much as Bella did, and he resisted the urge to narrow his eyes at her. "I just needed some air."

"The wolves do make it rather stifling, don't they?" When she giggled softly, he decided he was rather proud of himself. Usually it was Jacob— _just_ Jacob—that made her giggle, so for him to bring it out was rather exciting. But he would keep that rather prideful moment to himself for Carlisle's sake.

"You can say that again," she said, sighing softly. She sat up straight and pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes that had fallen from one of the clips, but didn't bother putting it back. "Everything just—" She stopped and looked away again, refusing to meet his gaze as he frowned.

"What?" he prodded gently.

She sighed again. "—it just seems so crazy. Ever since I met you guys." She shrugged and still wouldn't look at him even as he froze and waited for more of her words, hoping she hadn't figured it out. "It always feels like I'm in two places at once. I'm _me_ , the one in the here and now. Abigail Margaret Goodwin, age twenty-two, born in Delaware, raised in Washington, and ER nurse."

 _Her middle name is the same, too,_ he thought, filing it away to tell the others once Abigail and the wolves were gone.

"But there's another part of me that... I don't know, it feels like that part is missing." She paused and her mind went over her dreams and it was the moment he dreaded. Would she ask about them? Would she know they're not dreams, but memories? He waited and let her think it through, figuring out what she wanted to say, and trying not to answer her internal questions. Now wasn't the time to reveal he could read her mind. "I've... Well, ever since I was a kid, I've had these... They're nightmares." Her cheeks blushed a dark red as she shook her head. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. Even Jacob doesn't know about them. But... I die in them, Edward. It's the same thing: I'm in an alley, and it's cold, always so cold. I'm all alone and I'm terrified, but then there's this giant man in front of me...with bright red eyes. He just laughs and grabs me. I feel so strong, but I can't get away, and he just...he rips my head off without even a hesitation and tosses it. I can see and hear, I can _feel_. I hear my body fall, and then I'm burning, but I can't scream." She shudders and brings her arms up to cling to herself as Edward's hands clench into fists. She decides not to mention the change that included Carlisle—they weren't memories anyway rather wishful thinking as she died that night—but Edward knows about it anyway. "I feel like they're more than nightmares. Is that crazy? I feel like they're..." She sighed. "Well, I don't know. It's silly. But they feel so real, and I can feel the heat of the fire and the rip of my neck." Her hand flutters up to her throat unconsciously. "What does that even mean?" She shook her head. "But they're part of whatever it is that I'm missing, I can feel it. And whatever that part is... I miss it. I feel like that's who I'm supposed to be, and I'm stuck in the life I'm in now. Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents more than anything, and I love my friends. But I want the me I was before back. The _real_ me." She paused. "Assuming I'm not just crazy. I just want more of those dreams, more of an explanation so at least I understand why I'm having them."

Finally her voice faded out and they were left with the silence of the night. Edward didn't know what to say, because he had heard her inner turmoil, but never expected her to voice it aloud, much less to him. Alice, Jacob, maybe even Carlisle... Maybe that's why she chose him, he was an unbiased third party, at least to her. But he still didn't expect it. They could still hear the wolves talking and laughing, oblivious of the conversation, but his family was quiet other than Carlisle's footsteps taking him closer to the door. Edward's eyes flickered over his shoulder to meet the agonized gaze of his father and he gave him an empathetic look, before turning back to Abigail to try and figure out how to comfort her.

"You think my family is bringing out this...this other you." It wasn't a question and she just shrugged. Her cheeks reddened and that would've told him the answer if her thoughts hadn't already done so.

"You think I'm crazy," she finally mumbled, twisting her hands together where they rested by her knees.

"Of course not," Edward said. The fact she was so close to the truth was a bit unsettling and his eyes flickered once more to the man hidden in the doorway before he put a gentle arm around her shoulders. She looked over in shock, but slowly she gave him a smile—something else that made him very proud—and leaned against him. He felt her shiver ever so slightly and knew his body was a stark contrast to Jacob, but she didn't complain, and he wouldn't move unless she seemed to be too cold or asked him to. "I guess I just don't understand. Did you see any of us in these dreams?" She hesitated, but nodded slightly in an answer he already knew. Leaning closer, his voice lowered, though he knew Carlisle could still hear. "Carlisle?"

She looked up in shock, her heart pounding harder and her cheeks flushing. She didn't say a word or even nod, but what she did do was all the answer he need. It was his turn to smile.

"So what do you think they are? Who is this other you?"

Finally she shrugged again. "I don't even know." She sighed and looked back at the trees. "It was just a theory. It made sense when I thought it, but now it just...doesn't." She bit her lip and blood rose to the surface. It made Edward realize how unusual it was to see the humanity in Abigail. She was a vampire for the whole almost forty years that he knew her, so the flush of blood and pounding heart was unsettling. Carlisle hadn't seen it since the Revolutionary War, so it had to be even worse for him.

"I guess we'll have to just help you figure it out, right? See if this other you actually exists." A light growl from behind him told him that Carlisle definitely did not agree, but Edward didn't care. He was tired of watching Carlisle be miserable when he deserved so much more. He was tired of watching the hurt and confusion on his mother's face. He was tired of keeping so many secrets; he thought they were done with that when Bella had first found out about their kind. He was tired of having a broken family. Abigail made it whole whether Carlisle wanted to admit it or not.

But Abigail was smiling again and Edward squeezed her shoulder ever so gently. "Really? You'll help?"

Edward nodded. "I'll help you in whatever way I can." He paused and took a risk with his next thought. "You should talk to Carlisle, too. He might be able to help you with some things I can't." _Like a hundred and thirty odd years._

Her heart actually stopped beating for two seconds before picking up even faster. He could feel her inner turmoil, and while he was no Jasper, he was good at reading people. And he tried to give her the privacy of her thoughts by focusing on the conversation inside.

"But he doesn't even like me." The words were so quiet even he had a hard time knowing if she actually said them aloud or in her thoughts, but when he heard the strangled choking from Carlisle he knew she said it out loud and he had freedom to comment.

He pulled away slightly, looking down at her aghast. "Do you honestly believe that?" She didn't do or say anything which was his confirmation. "Abigail... There's not one bone in his body that could ever dislike you. Believe me, his actions don't mean what you think they do."

"Haven't you ever heard that actions speak louder than words?"

"Do you trust me?" He saw her slight hesitation, but he was glad when she nodded. "Then trust me now. He doesn't hate you. Far, far from it." He didn't elaborate, it wasn't his place, but he hoped she understood the truth of the situation.

She didn't say anything else for a long while and Edward focused once again on the conversation inside rather than her thoughts to give her some privacy. He knew that she was in love with his father, even though she didn't understand why or grasp the true meaning of the intensity she felt. She didn't understand the mating call that vampires had, that Carlisle had towards her, his long lost mate come back to him fifty years after she died. But she was human and it wasn't surprising that it was more muted in her than it was in Carlisle; it took longer, and even at its highest strength, it wasn't close to how it would feel if she were a vampire again. There as no doubt in his mind that this was their Abigail, _Carlisle's_ Abigail, and that her true place in this world was with them at Carlisle's side. But his father as stubborn so it would take a lot for them to talk him into even consider changing her again.

"Thanks, Edward." He was brought once again into the present and he smiled down at her, squeezing her shoulders.

"Don't mention it, kid."

She snorted. " _Kid_? I'm pretty sure I'm at least four years older than you."

He smirked knowingly and patted her shoulder before drawing back and standing. "I'm still taller."

She rolled her eyes and stood was well, brushing off the seat of her dress which was still immaculate, and headed for the door. Carlisle moved quickly away so she didn't find him eavesdropping, and Edward made sure she got safely back inside the door. One look at Carlisle's devastated face told him he heard more than he needed to know, and Edward simply nodded to him gravely. What else could he really do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter eleven: 
> 
> \- [Party](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_eleven-twelve_second_chance/set?id=220356911)


	12. Pawns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! Don't forget to check out my brand new Carlisle/OC story, [For All Of My Life](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10669074)! It is up to chapter three now. Also, I just finished chapter thirty-four for this story and am on thirty-five. Bittersweet to be so close to the end, but I hope you all will enjoy the rest of this story as much as I have. :) Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your reviews, thoughts, comments, and questions for this story!

**-Abigail-**

Around midnight the packs started to leave with Sam saying that La Push had been unprotected long enough. He gave her a quick hug as they headed out the door with another, _"Sorry again for scaring you."_ That was the third time that night and once again she waved him off. He didn't hurt her and didn't mean to scare her, so she couldn't be upset with him for doing so. She still felt safe with them, and she didn't see that changing anytime soon.

But Edward's words haunted her the closer it got to being her left alone with the Cullens. It was just Jacob and Seth left—she still couldn't believe little Seth was in the pack—but they had to leave to look around Forks and make sure none of their lines got interrupted. Jacob said their five were focused on Forks and Sam's pack took La Push; there was more than enough for them all to patrols.

Jacob stood there the longest hugging her and pulled back with his hands on her shoulders, frowning. "You're not leaving now." It wasn't a question, but rather a surprised statement. Slowly she shook her head. "Be careful going home, okay? I know you've got your car, but humor me."

Abigail opened her mouth to respond, but Alice beat her to it. "Don't worry, she'll be spending the night here, we won't let anything happen to her." The girls cool arm—the same temperature as the outside and Edward—came around her shoulders and Abigail glanced up at Jacob who had his eyebrow raised.

"Sure," she said, a bit uneasily, but she surprisingly felt as safe there as she did with Jacob. She meant what she said to Edward, she trusted him and by extension his family, but that didn't mean she didn't feel uneasy being there. She finally met Rosalie and Carlie, and they all seemed nice enough—though she couldn't tell if Rosalie's look had been jealousy, anger, or sadness; maybe it was a combination—so she knew she wasn't in any real danger.

"Alright," Jacob said, sounding a bit more satisfied that she would be there and not alone, so he gave her one more hug before heading out to his Rabbit. After that it was silent there in the great room and she slowly turned to look at Alice who stood next to her, smiling happily.

"Didn't know I was staying. I don't have clothes—"

"Well, good thing we do," Alice interrupted before she could go on.

"I can't take your clothes," Abigail argued.

Alice waved a hand. "Please, it's nothing. Now come, let's go get changed and we can chat." The pixie left no room for argument as she gripped her arm and tugged her for the stairs. Abigail glanced back at Edward who smiled and she sighed, following Alice back into the room she had stayed in the night she was plucked off the road by Alice and Emmett.

Once again she was given some silk number, but this time it was mid-thigh length shorts and a camisole. She shook her hair out of the clips and tugged it back into a loose braid, feeling it swing to the middle of her back. She scrubbed off the little makeup she had on and for a moment wished she could soak her feet because they ached from the heels, but she had a feeling Alice had more plans for her than being lazy. She felt better after she became a bit more casual and gave a smile to Alice who had changed into something similar to her own, but it was a nightgown. She sat on the bed so perfectly that Abigail felt frumpy for a moment, but she didn't let it stop her from falling next to her on the soft mattress.

"Thank you so much for the pajamas. They're so comfy."

Alice grinned. "You don't have to thank me, silly. Tonight will be a lot of fun."

"Hopefully not too much, girl's still gotta work for a living."

"Call off."

"I can't do that."

"I'll give you the money; you can do it."

"I'm not taking your money."

"Then you can take Carlisle's. But you can stay here tonight and we can hang out all day tomorrow." She grinned and actually bounced a little, clapping. "Think of the fun!"

Abigail stared at her for a moment longer before she smiled softly and let out a light giggle. Alice looked very proud of herself for that. "Okay, okay. I'll stay and call off tomorrow. But I'm still not taking anyone's money."

"Yes!" Alice cheered, satisfied. She grabbed Abigail's hand and yanked her back downstairs. Edward was there with Bella, Emmett, and Carlisle. All of them changed into more comfortable clothes as well and Abigail was glad because as she had felt overdressed before, she didn't want to feel underdressed now. She actually blushed a little as Alice forced her into the couch where she sat between Emmett and Carlisle. Edward sat at the piano playing with Bella at his side. The air around was actually quite comfortable, and her tense body slowly relaxed even as her fingers twisted in her lap. It seemed they turned the heat on with the lack of Quileute heat because she didn't shiver once from coolness, though she could feel Emmett and Carlisle were both as cool as Edward and Alice were.

"Ever play chess?"

Abigail looked at Emmett in surprise when he spoke and took in his goofy grin, which she couldn't help but mimic. While he hadn't been cold to her before, he had been rather silent so she just assumed that he didn't care for her either, like Carlisle. But apparently she was wrong.

 _Does that mean I'm wrong about everything?_ she wondered, glancing at Edward who had made a small snort, and of course like all his usual quirks she let it go.

Turning her attention back to Emmett, she slowly shook her head as she pulled up a lip to bite quickly in nervous contemplation. "Never," she said. "Well, my dad tried to teach me, but I didn't understand."

If possible, the smile on his face got even larger and he jumped up for a second, heading to get the board usually laid out on a small table across the room, but had been removed for the dinner party. He brought it back and set it on the table between them and she shook her head again, quicker this time.

"I'm gonna lose," she said in an admittedly slightly whiny voice. Abigail was a bit of a sore loser.

"No you won't," Emmett said. He began to put the pieces—large red and white wooden figures—around the board where they are supposed to go, the red on their side and the white on the other. "I'll teach you."

"How can you teach me and play yourself?"

He scoffed. "I'm not. We'll play red, Carlisle will be the white."

Her heart did a somersault and she peaked with her peripherals over to Carlisle who had moved without her noticing closer to the board...and closer to her. Her breath stuttered to a stop for a moment before she looked back at Emmett who was smirking. Her eyes narrowed and she bit her lip once again before giving a small nod.

"You won't let me fail, right?" she wondered, her voice doubtful. Emmett's face changed just for a split second, from smirking to warm, and she blinked in surprise.

"Never." His voice was quiet then, but full of...well, she didn't know. But she found her cheeks heating as she gulped and Emmett went back to smirking, finishing up with the pieces. "Now you should really be at a different angle, but you can see all the pieces, right?" Abigail nodded. "Good, that's what's important." He plopped himself into the floor at the head of the coffee table with his legs crossed. Alice soon joined them, mimicking his stance as she sat across from Abigail. Emmett looked at her with narrow, serious eyes. "Don't be helping him."

Alice waved a hand. "Please, I'm on your side." She winked at Abigail and Abigail blushed again, but she didn't know why. She peaked at Carlisle again and... _oh my god, is he_ smiling _?_ She had never seen it before and it was barely there, but it was a smile and it was absolutely beautiful. Her heart stuttered again as butterflies filled her belly, and she had to force herself to look away because it was like the sun: so bright and beautiful you couldn't help but look no matter how much it hurt you. _When have you turned into a philosopher?_ she scolded herself, shaking her head for a second as she turned her attention back to Emmett.

"Now, do you know what the pieces are called?" Emmett asked and she smiled as she realized he had dropped into teacher mode. He was no longer smirking and was looking at her expectedly, but he still seemed calm and at ease. It made her feel good. _Maybe they didn't not want me after all..._ she thought slowly, afraid of something happening as soon as she thought it. _Something else must've happened. But Edward, Alice, Emmett... They all care, I can tell. They want me here. And I want to be here. Why do I never want to leave?_ She bit her lip and Emmett frowned, and she realized he was waving her hand in front of her face and Edward was no longer playing. "Abi? You okay?"

She blinked quickly, pulling herself out of her daze and her cheeks colored when she realized she had been fantasizing about being a Cullen. Never having to go back to the other house, being a part of this wonderful family, waking up next to Carlisle... She shook her head again and blushed deeper, biting her lip as she nodded. "Sorry, I was trying to remember what my dad told me," she fibbed easily. Edward snorted and she shot him a quick, confused glance, but didn't say anything. "These are pawns." She picked up the smaller pieces in the front. "You don't really have to worry about them, they're expendable?" _Like me,_ she thought quickly, wryly, but Emmett nodded eagerly and gestured for her to go on. Next she showed him the rook, bishop, knight, king, and queen. She told him what she thought she remembered about how to move them and he corrected her gently when she got something wrong, and explained how to win and what moves to absolutely not do no matter what. Her head actually spun a little, but the grin on Emmett's almost child-like face had her easing and she grinned back, which seemed to make him light up.

"Ladies first," Carlisle said softly, fingers laying over her own that sat on the couch between them. At that moment her eyes flickered over and... _oh!_ He was so close, she could see every speck of his brilliant ochre eyes as they looked back at her without blinking. She embarrassingly gulped heavily, her heart racing to almost the speed of a hummingbird's, and she was lost there in the depths of those eyes. While she had looked at him before, never had he looked back, at least not like this. Her newest dream flashed through her mind quickly and it was with a start that the way his hand felt on hers there felt the same it did in her dream when he shook her hand after meeting for the first time. It was startling and alarming and she felt like she was going crazy, but it oddly made sense to her. What she had told Edward, she didn't even realize she felt it or thought it until the words were falling out of her mouth. But she meant it, she knew there was something more to her dreams, even though that was silly, and she had a deep feeling that this man was the key to unlocking all of it. But that meant getting close to him, _and he'll never love me like that, not like he did in my dreams, not like I do him._ The music, that she didn't even notice had started again, had changed to a melancholy melody and that's what snapped her out of her thoughts.

With a jolt, she realized she was still staring at Carlisle like some stalker freak and if she weren't blushing before, she sure as hell as then as a wave of mortification hit her. Quickly her eyes flickered away from him like they should've done long before then. _Well, this is the last time you'll be invited over here,_ she thought before she quickly glanced to Emmett who hadn't lost his smirk and Alice just looked at her knowingly and winked. Abigail cleared her throat and she nodded, twisting her hands together in her lap.

"Thank you," she croaked, trying to stop her fingers from trembling as she shifted closer to take a look at the board. Clearly she had to move pawns first, send them to their certain death, and she realized rather quickly that as a pawn, that's what happened everytime she arrived there. This amazing family were the ones that needed protection, and she was merely there to throw herself on a sword to save them. It felt like she died after every visit, after everytime she left and was forced to go back to a house that, sitting there with them, felt like it wasn't her home anymore. It was there, amongst these people, and she knew that no matter if they wanted her or not, that feeling would never go away.

Carefully she moved the pawn forward, putting it out there, knowing it could be killed and knowing eventually it would, but it's what had to be done to keep the others alive. It's just how the game was played.

Emmett and Abigail wound up winning, and though Emmett was currently running around the house like he won the lottery, Abigail had a feeling that Carlisle let them win. Apparently only Alice and Edward could ever beat him, so Emmett was more thrilled to win and didn't take a closer look.

"You're my good luck charm. Whenever I'm challenged, you better be ready to come over here."

After the game he had sat back up on the couch next to her and swung his arm over her shoulder. She giggled as she leaned into him and nodded, her eyes twinkling. _He wants me here, I can come back!_ It was a wonderful feeling after having so long of thinking they didn't want anything to do with her. Alice and Emmett—and she thinks Edward—wanted her there, and that was more than enough for her. It meant so much, and she felt her heart swell up with emotion. She loved her parents, but these people felt like her family, her true family, the one that belonged in those dreams and to that other Abigail she was trying to find like a needle in a haystack. It made no sense that she belonged with them, a quick glance and anyone could see that, but that didn't mean she didn't desperately want it. And at least two of them wanted her in return, so it felt like she was inches closer to finding out what everything meant.

"I promise to come over here whenever you need me, as long as you go make me popcorn," she teased as her stomach grumbled a little. Since it had been in knots during the party, she hadn't eaten much, but now that she was more at ease and her body was winding down, she felt the hunger hit her. But she wasn't about to ask for more and put them out; popcorn would do until she got up in the morning and could grab some quick cereal.

Alice's mouth twisted and she shook her head at Emmett as he moved to get up, hands falling to her hips. "Can't you tell she needs more than that?"

Abigail quickly shook her head. "I'm fine, popcorn is..." But the look on Alice's face shut her up and for the thousandth time that night, she blushed. "...maybe a sandwich?" she said timidly.

Alice looked satisfied. "Better." She went to yank Abigail to her feet and Emmett followed quickly. Alice pulled cold cuts, cheese, veggies, and a bunch of condiments from the fridge and bread from the cupboard. Abigail's stomach growled again and she was glad she gave in. She eagerly went for the ham and turkey, piling that on after spreading on mayo and mustard, followed by some provolone cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato with a couple pickle slices. Her mouth was already watering and she hummed as she ate. Glancing at the others, she realized they weren't eating and she frowned, swallowing quickly.

"Don't you guys want any?" she wondered, gesturing to the spread in front of her.

Alice shook her head. "We ate earlier, we're fine." Abigail frowned because she realized she hadn't seen any of them eat, but she hadn't exactly been paying all her attention to them. Most of her night was spent shoved between a couple of rather large wolves, so she shrugged it off, assuming they ate when her attention was elsewhere. She nodded and finished up her sandwich, slowly eyeing everything before Alice shoved it at her and she quickly made another one.

"Didn't you eat anything earlier?" Emmett asked with a frown.

Abigail thought about nodding, but found herself shaking her head. "I wasn't too hungry so Jake ate most of it." Alice and Emmett frowned deeper.

"You have to eat," Alice said as if she were talking to a small child. It was the voice she used the night she and Emmett found Abigail walking along the road and just like then, Abigail felt scolded, and she looked down at the table.

"I will, I'm sorry," she mumbled, filling her mouth with more food. Alice sighed, but didn't say anything else and Abigail quickly finished with that sandwich. When she was done, the smile had come back to Alice and Emmett so she relaxed and stood to clean off her plate. But the look on Alice's face had her sitting back down quietly as the girl took it to wash.

"Tired yet?" Emmett asked.

"A little," she admitted. "I've been awake since eight this morning."

"You should sleep," Alice said, dancing back to the table. "And remember tomorrow is ours. Call off when you wake up." Abigail smiled and nodded, getting a quick glass of water, before following Alice into the other room. She said goodnight to Edward, Bella, and then Emmett. Carlisle still sat in the couch where he had before and Abigail turned a shy, soft smile in his direction.

"Goodnight, Carlisle," she whispered.

He looked rather shocked, but gave her that amazingly beautiful smile he had before and nodded once. "Goodnight, Abigail."

 _Oh my gosh, the way he sounds saying my name..._ She practically floated as a grinning Alice showed her upstairs to the same room she slept in before, bid her goodnight, and left her alone to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter twelve: 
> 
> \- [Party](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_eleven-twelve_second_chance/set?id=220356911)


	13. Good Morning

**-Abigail-**

To her surprise, the sun was shining through the window when she woke up. She perked up a little, silencing the alarm on her phone and padding over to peak outside at the sun. It had been sunny once back in August after she had just moved back, but it was never sunny in Washington in January. She was surprised there was no snow on the ground, but she supposed it would be coming soon. The sun was just there to tease them. But she would take advantage of it, especially since she would be calling out of work. She felt like such a rebel.

The call was quickly made as she was a pro at faking sick; she did it all the time in high school, and as a nurse, knew just what to say. Mackenzie was the one who had answered and marked her down to let Dr. Jones know.

"Must be something going around," Mackenzie commented. "Dr. Cullen is out sick as well." Abigail froze and her heart began to jackhammer behind her ribs. She hadn't expected that. She figured she would be spending the day with the others and would head home around the time Carlisle got home from work, but it seemed that instead she would be forced to deal with her confusing and intense emotions about the man while trying to have fun with his kids. _Wonderful_.

"Must be," she said evasively and bid her goodbye before hanging up. Her mind whirled through the possibilities, of how she was supposed to get through an entire day in Carlisle's presence without messing something up. She already felt her heart pounding and flipping around, enough so that she didn't hear the knock on the door until the door swung open slightly and Alice peaked in. She looked worried until she saw Abigail standing there and she brightened.

"Abi, you're awake!" She bounded over and quickly pulled her into a hug, pulling back to look at her. "Are you okay?"

Abigail quickly nodded, smiling. "I'm good. Still waking up."

Alice didn't look like she believed her, but continued to smile. "Well, wake up faster. There are clothes there," She pointed to the closet, "and you can shower. Breakfast will be ready once you're done!" And with that she danced from the room, shutting the door behind her. Abigail sighed and moved quickly to the door that lead to the bathroom.

The shower felt amazing over her muscles, relaxing her enough that she felt she could pull this day off without a hitch. Being so close to him would surely hurt, knowing he would never care for her, but she found that it was getting easier. Well, not easier per-se, but rather she was able to ignore it. She had always been a pro at hiding her feelings, and now it was more essential than ever before. All of her anger at them had been lifted off her chest during her tantrum—which she was ever so grateful nobody brought that up as she was still highly embarrassed—and she was left with resolve. She forgave them for that week of being ignored—even though she still wanted to know why—and all she wanted to do was embrace this budding friendship while she had the chance to do so. She wasn't an idiot, she knew there was a high chance it could happen again and she would be hurt, but she wasn't strong enough to be the one to stay away.

She realized she was in a daze as she finished up and quickly dried off, padding into the large walk-in closet that held the clothes Alice spoke of. One outfit cost more than a month's salary for her and she didn't even want to touch it let alone wear it. But she couldn't exactly walk around with a towel on or excuse herself back to her house to get her cheap jeans and t-shirt. Finally she settled on something that didn't look too extremely expensive: soft white denim jeans, a cream colored cashmere sweater with a white camisole underneath, and a pair of black flats. She brushed her hair out and pulled it back into a braid to keep it out of her face, and then headed downstairs to the great room. Everybody was already awake and dressed, a few of them around the coffee table and the couch, while Alice, Emmett, and Carlisle sat at the kitchen table.

The amount of food that sat along the polished wood had her eyes nearly bugging out. Eggs, sausage and bacon, toast, cinnamon rolls, grits and oatmeal, muffins and bagels, and freshly cut fruit. She paused in the doorway, stomach growling, but there was no way she could finish it all herself so she hoped they were joining her.

"Are we feeding an army?" she wondered, stepping closer and ceasing the whispered conversation that drifted between the other three. Alice grinned and jumped up to drag Abigail to a seat to the right of Carlisle, making her blush deeply.

"Only if the wolves show up," she said. "But otherwise it's for you. Sit and eat."

"I can't eat _all_ of it—"

"I know that, silly, we'll join you." She smiled and sat next to Emmett on the other side. He had a weird look on his face, but he smiled at her, too. "Dig in!"

"You know, cereal would've been more than enough..." she murmured as she shyly started piling a little bit of everything on her plate.

"This is better," Emmett pointed out as he took a bite out of a piece of bacon.

Abigail slowly smiled. "You're right. Thank you so much. I haven't had a breakfast like this since—" She paused and her face darkened for a moment before she pushed it away and smiled, chewing on a piece of toast.

"What?" Carlisle asked softly and she paused, glancing over at him, swallowing suddenly thickly and putting the bread on her plate and feeling as her stomach twisted.

She sighed softly. "Since high school, when my parents were still alive. The morning of my graduation, actually. Mom invited Charlie, Billy and Jake, Waylon, the Clearwaters... She was so proud, and they couldn't all go to the graduation, but she invited them over that morning for a breakfast bigger than this. The Quileutes ate a lot even back then." She chuckled softly, staring at her twisting hands. "A couple days later is when I moved to Seattle. I wasn't allowing a graduation party, so that's why she did the breakfast. I came back over the years of course, but it was never like that again. The day they died, I was supposed to be there, but I ran late because the hospital wanted me to pull a double the night before and I slept through my alarm. Before I left the apartment, that's when I got the call that they were in a car accident. Drunk driver." She sighed shakily. "I found everything at the house when I went back. I cleaned up what I needed, and didn't go back at all until Bella and Edward's wedding." She shrugged then and tried a bite of toast to stop her twisting stomach. Slowly she looked at the others who were frowning, and she managed a soft smile. "That's in the past, though. The future is what matters, right?"

None of them said anything for a few moments, but finally Alice smiled which prompted smiles from the other two. "Right. And you'll have a lot of that with us. We're not letting you go anywhere."

Abigail didn't see or feel Carlisle stiffen beside her, so she just blushed and felt her stomach thaw and finally allow her to eat more than just a couple bites of toast.

Most of it was gone by the time they were all finished, and the rest was packed away in the fridge for when Jacob showed up, which it was a given he would at some point. None of them ever explained how they knew about the wolves or why Jacob hung around so much, but she didn't ask, it wasn't her business. Besides, that just meant that she didn't have to choose between the Cullens and Jacob and that meant a lot to her. Maybe someday she would ask, but that day had too much promise to mess it up by pushing into things that weren't her business.

Emmett pulled her over to the table usually reserved for the chess board, but this time he had checkers over it instead, and he sat across from her with a grin. "I assume you at least know checkers."

She grinned. "'Course I do. My dad taught me." She took the red pieces and set them on her end of the board, pulling her legs up under her. Alice pulled up a chair next to her and smirked at Emmett.

"Team Abigail," she announced, mimicking the way Abigail was sitting.

Emmett's face fell. "Aw, man! That's not even fair."

Alice grinned and leaned for Abigail. "Don't worry, my team always wins." Emmett just grumbled to himself which made the girls giggle.

Checkers was probably the only game that Abigail was actually good at, so even if Alice wasn't there, she still would've won. Of the four games they played, she won three of them. The forth one couldn't really be considered a win or lose, though, for either of them because as she had three quarters of her markers kinged, Emmett swiped the board off the table and actually pouted as he narrowed his eyes at the girls, who were both laughing hysterically. Abigail thought she sounded like a donkey braying next to Alice's tinkling laugh, but for once she didn't feel embarrassed and that was a surprise itself. She felt so comfortable around them, opening up and finally just being herself the way she was around Jacob, not feeling a bit of shyness as she grinned at Emmett, happier than she had been in awhile, allowing herself to tease him.

"So you still want me as your good luck charm?" she wondered, turning in her chair and dropping her legs to the ground, leaning forward.

Emmett's narrow-eyed gaze landed on her and he studied her for a moment before sighing. "In chess, yes. But I'm never playing checkers with you _and_ Alice again. Maybe you and Rose..."

"Hey!" Rosalie called out in indignation, making everyone laugh.

The ringing of a phone cut off the laughter and Abigail glanced around, perplexed, before she realized it was coming from her pocket. Jacob and Beth were the only other ones that would call her so she assumed it was one of them, but when she pulled her phone from her pocket, she saw it was an unknown number and she frowned. _Maybe someone got a new number?_ she thought lamely as she stood up. Alice frowned at her, and Edward looked at Alice as if confused about something. Abigail just shrugged.

"Just a sec," she murmured and quickly padded from the room into the kitchen so she could speak.

She answered it right before it hung up, her voice tentative. "Hello?"

"Abs, you sound horrible."

She frowned for a second, not recognizing the voice, but it dawned on her as only one person ever called her _"Abs,"_ and her eyebrows shot up her forehead.

"Dr. Jones?" she asked, confused.

The man chuckled. "You got it. But you know it's Brett."

She laughed uneasily. "Right... Well, what can I do for you?"

"I was just checking up on you, sweetheart. Mackenzie told me you called in sick. That's not like you, so I wanted to check."

 _Sweetheart_. She shivered, feeling uncomfortable even on the phone with him let alone when he touched her. She always got uneasy goosebumps when he did and a sick, twisted feeling in her gut.

"Yeah, came down with something. I'm fine, I'll be in tomorrow."

"Better be." _Was that a threat in his voice?_ "I miss you down here." _"I" not "we."_ She shivered again.

"Right... Well I'm sure it's just a twenty-four hour thing."

"Hope so. Cullen's out, too." She didn't like that tone in his voice either, and another shiver went through her, causing her arms to lock around her body.

"Mackenzie told me."

Silence.

"Well, feel better soon, sweetheart. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Brett." She hung up before he could say anything else and frowned at her phone, taking a deep breath before shoving it in her pocket and turning to go back into the other room, only Emmett blocked the doorway and she jumped at his close proximity. "Geez, you startled me." But he didn't answer, just stared at her evenly with a hint of— _Was that rage?_ —behind his ochre gaze. "Something wrong?" she hedged, hesitant.

"Boyfriend?" He spat the word out and she actually winced. _Why does he care?_

"No." Her nose wrinkled up as if she ate a bug. "Not even close. I don't know why he called me. He said he was checking up on me, but..." She trailed off and shrugged. "He makes me uncomfortable. He's...kind of...I don't know, _grabby_? Not really, I don't know, he just touches me a lot." She shrugged. "I don't think he means any harm." A glance to Emmett told her the look on his face didn't change, it just got more intense, and she frowned. "Why're you mad at me?" she asked softly.

"I'm not." She raised an eyebrow at the edge in his voice. "Look, if you don't want him to touch you, let me come down there and show him how to be polite to a lady."

 _Wait...he's angry_ for _me, not_ at _me?_ She stared at him in shock as she slowly blushed once again. She gave him a small smile and stepped closer to him, hugging him around the waist. For a moment his entire body was tense and she nearly pulled away, but he didn't let her as his strong arms moved around her shoulders tightly. Hugging him was comforting enough that her eyes closed and she couldn't help but feel like she was home.

"I'll let you know if I need a bodyguard," she teased with a small grin against his chest. She felt a rumbled laugh against her cheek and she pulled back a moment later. "C'mon, before Alice sends a search party." He grinned and led her out to the other room, an arm still around her shoulder. Nobody seemed to notice their disappearance other than Alice and she hopped up as soon as they entered.

"Everything okay?" she asked hesitantly, eyes flickering between Abigail and Emmett. Abigail smiled and nodded.

"All good. It was just my boss." _More or less._ "And I think I wanna play chess. Up for it, Emmett?"

His eyes brightened and he nearly cheered as he moved quickly to get the board and pieces, causing Abigail to snort in amusement. He insisted on Alice playing them as he wouldn't play against Abigail herself since she was his _"lucky charm,"_ and they actually did win one, but lost the second and when he tried to insist on a third game, Alice declined and stood, bringing a confused Abigail with her.

"Sorry, Em, we've got some girl stuff to do."

"We do?" Abigail wondered as she was tugged for the stairs. Alice nodded and gestured behind them and Abigail glanced over and saw Bella, Carlie, and Rosalie following them. Abigail sighed, realizing she had no choice, and followed Alice up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirteen: 
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirteen-fourteen_second_chance/set?id=220360934)


	14. Nice Try

**-Abigail-**

Abigail spent the rest of her morning and afternoon with the Cullens, finding herself more and more at ease as the day went on. She laughed and smiled freely, something she hadn't done in a long time, and then it was only with Jacob or Beth. But, startlingly enough, she found she was even more herself than she was with the other two. For some reason, it's like she belonged with them rather than anyplace else. It made her think of her dreams, of her suspicions about the _"other her,"_ as she had said to Edward. It felt like the other her knew them better than she did and it was rather frustrating and alarming, but she knew that she wouldn't be getting answers anytime soon. Because they were keeping a secret, and she didn't know what that secret might be, but she knew they would never tell her. At least not anytime soon.

When the afternoon turned into evening, she decided that it was time she stopped bothering them and go home. "It's getting late and I don't want to take up anymore of your time," she explained to Alice who looked incredibly sad that she was leaving, so sad that Abigail almost stayed put. As much as she would like, she knew she had things to think about, stuff to go over in her mind before she were to come back, and it was hard to do that when she was right there with them primarily because it would be them she thought about.

"You can come over after work tomorrow then?" Alice said, and Abigail hesitated as she tried to think of something she could say that would sound true and wouldn't hurt her feelings too bad. Truthfully, that was the last thing she wanted to do.

"I think Beth wanted me to meet her new boyfriend, but if that doesn't work out then I'll swing by." She smiled easily as she picked up her purse and shoved her clothes inside. "Plus, I have some clothes to return to you."

Alice waved a hand with a small huff. "Please, they're yours, keep them."

Abigail's eyes widened in surprise. "Alice... I can't do that. They're worth more than my house."

Alice's eyes narrowed on her, hands falling to her hips. "Keep them." There was no room for negotiation so Abigail sighed, blushed, and nodded.

"Thank you," she murmured. She finished shoving her stuff in her bag—ignoring the horror on Alice's face as the dress she had been wearing was put in there as well, but Abigail was confident she could steam out any wrinkles—and grabbed her car keys. "I'll call you if plans change. If not, the next day would be fine, yeah?"

Alice slowly nodded, her eyes glazing for a moment as if unfocused, but then she looked at Abigail with a bright smile. "That would be perfect!" she gushed. Abigail smiled and Alice led her down the stairs then to the great room where everyone had gathered once more.

The pixie was the first to hug her followed by Emmett and then Edward. She wasn't close enough to the others to earn a hug, but she did say a soft goodbye to them. Her eyes flashed for a moment towards Carlisle who actually looked a bit torn for a moment, as if debating with himself about something— _about giving me a hug?_ she couldn't help but wonder, but quickly ignored—before smiling kindly and nodding.

"Goodbye, Abigail. I'll see you at work tomorrow?"

Abigail nodded in confirmation. "Of course," she said softly. She gave him a smile that felt different than the one she gave the others, so her cheeks heated and she quickly turned away to head outside before she embarrassed herself anymore.

The trip back into Forks was short and frankly, she couldn't help but sigh a little on relief as she got back to her own house. Except for finding Beth and Rick in coitus on the couch—which made her scream and cover her eyes and run upstairs—the rest of the night was uneventful and she found herself falling asleep early.

* * *

The next morning, she showered and carefully steamed her dress from the other night to get any wrinkles out while she got around. All her thoughts were consumed by the single family, wondering what they were hiding and why they were hiding it, but also what she could possibly mean to them more than a new friend. Part of her couldn't help but wonder if it was a secret sort of like Jacob's had been, but if they were wolves, too, they would've shown her since Jacob already had. Besides, it seemed to be just the Quileutes that had the wolf thing.

Shaking that away, she finished up and went to work. To her surprise, it was sunny out again and she found herself smiling as she drove in. She parked quickly and ran in, hoping to catch Carlisle in the lounge, but she didn't see him there. Shoving her stuff in her locker, she went for his office quickly, and was surprised to see that also empty. Frowning she went for the front desk where Mackenzie sat.

"Morning, Abi!" Mackenzie exclaimed.

Abigail smiled. "Hey, Mackenzie. Have you seen Dr. Cullen by any chance?"

Mackenzie lost her smile and shook her head. "Sorry, Abi, he's out sick again." Abigail felt disappointed and worried all at once and she nodded, thanking Mackenzie before heading about her day.

 _Maybe I can take him soup?_ she thought as she clocked out for the day, but then remembered Beth wanted her to meet Rick. It hadn't been a total lie the night before, Beth had talked about it, but never gave a specific date, so it was Abigail that suggested it and Beth was happy to oblige.

Abigail changed into some nice slacks with a red blouse and a black cardigan over it. She kept her hair in a braid; something comfortable, yet not leaning on lazy. The doorbell rang and she heard Beth answer it, followed by the murmur of voices.

"Abi, they're here!" Beth called up the stairs. Abigail moved to walk out, but then paused in her doorway and frowned.

 _"They"?_ she wondered quickly.

Blinking in confusion, she quickly padded downstairs and saw two men standing in the doorway. One was just under six feet with a mop of curly dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a beard. The other was closer to six and a half feet with short cropped red hair, a mustache, and blue eyes. Both looked to be in their mid-thirties and both were smiling at her politely. The brunet had his arm around Beth's waist while the redhead looked sort of out of place as he took up most of the door.

"Abi!" Beth squealed, breaking away from the brunet and reaching to tug her down the rest of the stairs. "This is Rick," she put her hand on the brunet's chest, "and his friend, Abraham. We figured maybe you two wouldn't mind joining us for a double?"

Abigail's eyes nearly bugging out of her head, and she stared at Beth like she grew a second head. The man seemed nice enough, but Abigail was awkward enough in dates she picked out herself let alone blind dates with her friend's new boyfriend's friend. Plus the biggest issue: she was still hopelessly in love with Carlisle Cullen. Of course she knew there was no future, there was no chance of that happening, but it felt almost like going out with Abraham would be cheating on him. He would never want her, and all she wanted was him, but here was this nice man—he had to be if Beth agreed to this—who decided to give a blind date a shot and who was she really to decline? _Maybe this is my chance to finally let him go,_ she thought sullenly. _Maybe I can fall in love with Abraham_ — _or at least feel for him enough to let go of Carlisle. Maybe this is just what I need._

Slowly she realized she was standing there far too long and mentally shook herself, seeing a look of unease pass through them, and finally she smiled and nodded.

"Sure. I would love to. Let me go grab my coat." She had figured they would stay in, but they all seemed ready to hit the town so she went to grab her jacket and shove some flats on her feet. Before she exited the room, her phone rang. She almost forgot it so she grabbed it and glanced at the caller ID. Frowning as **Alice Cullen** flashed over the screen, she paused in the doorway.

"Alice?" she wondered as she answered.

"Abigail!" she sounded relieved and Abigail raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm here. What's up?"

"I just wanted to double check if you would be over tonight." Her voice sounded...strange. Like she knew something Abigail didn't, like she was pleading with her to say yes.

But Abigail frowned and shook her head. "Sorry, Alice, I'm going out with Beth and Rick." She paused. "And...they invited Rick's friend Abraham along. They want me to double, and I agreed." There was silence on the other end and for a moment she thought she lost connection so she pulled back to check, but it was still adding seconds to the call. "Alice?" she wondered.

"A date." Alice's voice was flat and there was a sound behind her— _was that a growl?_ —but it cut off as soon as it started.

"Yeah." Abigail sighed. "I didn't even know about it, but it would be rude to say no. And...he seemed nice enough, so what's the harm?" _Carlisle_. She thought the word before she could stop herself and she winced, leaning against the wall. _No, you will_ not _think about Carlisle this whole night. You're trying to let him go, so do it and stop thinking about him._

"Right." Her voice was a whisper. "Well... I hope you have fun, Abigail."

"Thanks, Alice." She heard Beth call her name and she sighed. "I'm sorry, I really have to go. I'll call you about tomorrow night in the morning." She paused. "If you still want me to come over?"

"Of _course_ we do." Abigail had to smile at the sincerity in her voice.

"Great. I'll talk to you later then. Night, Alice." She clicked off before she got an answer. She paused only long enough to hear her name again before she shook her head, dropped her phone on her bed in a quick decision to leave it behind, and headed downstairs to join the others.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

While he was fully expecting that Abigail wouldn't be single her whole life—after all, she was the most beautiful woman in all of creation—he realized rather quickly that he wasn't prepared for her to be taken by someone else. Frankly he thought he had more time to get used to the idea that Abigail was alive and well and human again and would never come back to him, but it turned out he was sorely mistaken. He had been surprised as anyone when Alice suddenly had a vision and ran to call Abigail. Only Edward knew what was going on and his face twisted into horror as Alice punched in the numbers.

However, not even Edward was expecting the words out of Alice's mouth.

"A date."

A date.

Abigail—the love of his existence, his mate, the most beautiful and perfect creature he ever met, the one he would give up every ounce of venom and his own life to be with—was going on a date.

With another man.

A growl left his throat before he could stop it and it was Emmett who clapped a hand over his mouth before it go any further. His body was trembling, seething with rage and envy and possessiveness, the beast very nearly taking over as he fought with it back inside its cage. He wanted to run to her, yank her away to a safe place, and rip the guts out of the man who dared to think he had a shot with a woman like her, who dared to think he could put his hands on her and continue to live.

But even though every instinct told him to, even as his eyes blazed black and dark with fury, he knew he couldn't. He gave up the right to do that in 1955 when he failed in his duty as husband and mate and let her die. He wouldn't mess this up, he wouldn't take her life away this time.

When Alice hung up, Emmett slowly let him go and he growled again as if he was picking up where he left off. He hadn't realized until then that Emmett had also been using a hand to hold his arms as well.

"I need to hunt," Carlisle snarled and turned, stalking from the room and falling into a run once he hit the trees. He didn't see that Alice had nodded to Jasper who quickly darted after him, not until he heard the blond vampire fall into a run behind him. He didn't say anything, didn't stop for the herd of deer that wandered by. He just kept running. And running.

And running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter fourteen: 
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirteen-fourteen_second_chance/set?id=220360934)  
> \- [Blind Date](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_fourteen-fifteen_second_chance/set?id=220361107)


	15. Blind Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Slight sexual content. Proceed with caution._ If you want to skip over it, the section will be marked with **.x.x.x.x.** before and after it. It won't have any plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. It's not enough to change the rating just yet, but that might happen in a bit. Thanks for reading, comments are love!

**-Abigail-**

Rick was the one who drove with Abraham next to him. Beth and Abigail took the backseat, and while Abigail hadn't spoken much to the men other than to introduce herself, Beth spoke with them, laughing over funny stories until they got to the restaurant. It was in Port Angeles and part of her wished they could've stayed in Forks—she wanted to be closer to home, and she didn't know why, but she wasn't quite sure she meant the house she grew up in—but there was only the diner there in town and that wasn't all that romantic.

The restaurant Rick picked was La Bella Italia and it made Abigail smile at the name. She looked up in shock as her door opened and Abraham held out a hand to her. She paused only for a moment before smiling and letting him pull her out of the car. He didn't hold her hand into the restaurant, which she was thankful for as the idea made her incredibly uncomfortable, but she was seated next to him at the table with Rick and Beth across from them.

"So what do you do?" Abigail wondered, eyes flickering to Abraham.

He put down the beer he was drinking and turned to her slightly with an easy smile. He had opened up more as they had sat there and she found he was actually hilarious. She had giggled a lot as his comments and she found herself leaning closer the more she had to drink.

"Well, I was in the army for a long time, almost ready to make it my career when my knee was shot out. Had it replaced, but it wasn't good enough to join back up. I decided to start my own construction company, but that went belly up about six months ago. That's when Rick got me a job at the hospital."

"Are you also a lab tech?"

Abraham shook his head. "Nah, I do repairs for all the equipment around the hospital."

Abigail's eyes widened. "Does stuff really break down that much?"

"You'd be surprised," he said with a short laugh. "But you're a nurse, too, right?"

Abigail took another sip of wine as she nodded. "Down in the ER."

"Must be stressful."

"It can be, definitely. Especially the traumas." She shook her head. "But we've got some really good doctors there so it's not as bad as it could be."

That brought up unwanted thoughts of both Dr. Jones and Carlisle. Brett had made her uncomfortable all day, spending far too much time by her side making sure she _"had gotten over the bug,"_ while those feelings for Carlisle she had tried to ignore rose to the surface and she had to look away from Abraham.

 _What's wrong with me?_ she thought as her stomach twisted in the wrong way. There she was sitting next to an attractive, nice man. And she had been fine all night, managed to keep her thoughts off the beautiful doctor, but then one simple mention of the ER had her eating guilt, heart clenching, stomach twisting. She heard her name and she shook her head, quickly patting Abraham's arm.

"I need to use the restroom," she mumbled, and he quickly stood up. She didn't wait for anyone as she got up and fled, flinging herself inside the single person room and locking the door. She had barely anything to eat, but she had plenty of wine and all of that was emptied into the bowl. Her throat began to hurt and tears fell down her face.

 _I can't do this,_ she thought as she sobbed softly into the porcelain, feeling very much like a loser. One thought of the man had her sick and so guilty she could barely stand it. It's like something cold gripped her heart and wouldn't let go. As a nurse, that should've been a concern, but she knew it wasn't something medical pressing against her, it was the cold reality of her situation. It made her wonder if she ever would be able to go out with a man without thinking of Carlisle and winding up in the bathroom getting sick. It was then she realized she didn't _want_ to. The idea of someone else touching her or kissing her in ways that it mattered, in intimate ways only a lover should, had her dry heaving into the pocelain again. It was a disgusting thought, and she didn't understand it. It scared her, terrified her because if she didn't get over this aversion and if she didn't get over this unrequited love, she would spend the rest of her life alone.

Slowly she cleaned herself up, wishing she had a toothbrush and toothpaste, or at least a mint, but she swished water through her mouth and straightened her clothes. She made her way out, not surprised to see Beth right outside, who insisted they go home. While Abigail hated herself for ruining the night, she nodded because now that the wine was gone and she understood her feelings, the thought of pushing into a booth with Abraham again made her want to run back in the bathroom.

He was a good man, a kind man. Smart and funny, strong and generous. He would make a good husband to some woman someday... But that woman wasn't Abigail. Her heart was taken. It was broken and bleeding, fragile and full of pain, but it was taken and she couldn't give it to someone else because it was no longer hers.

Her heart belonged to Carlisle.

It was that understanding that had her completely silent the rest of the way back to Forks even though the others tried to talk to her, even Abraham who looked worried despite her embarrassing him. She just shook her head and leaned her feverish head against the glass.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital," Beth said uneasily. Abigail knew Carlisle wasn't working and that Brett was. The thought of Brett touching her again, even as a medical professional, made her gag. She couldn't go there without Carlisle being there. So she shook her head as they slowed down at city limits.

"I'm fine."

"It can't be the wine. You didn't have that much."

Abigail shook her head again. "It's nothing. I'm fine. It'll pass. I just need sleep." She paused. "I'm sorry, guys." All three vehemently disagreed with her apology, but it didn't make her feel better. She just stayed quiet until they pulled up outside her house.

It wasn't until she saw the figure at the door that she realized the others weren't moving. "Who's that?" Rick asked, his voice on edge and his hands tight on the wheel as if he were going to pull away. Abigail squinted, her eyes widening a second later, and she quickly opened the door and made a stumbling dart out of the car.

Warm hands caught her almost immediately, and she quickly leapt into his arms; of course, he caught her.

"Jake," she breathed against him, feeling herself get picked up as she began to tremble.

Part of her noted the fact that Jake was able to touch her, and she knew Edward and Emmett had, and she didn't get sick. Perhaps it was the familial bond with Jacob that pushed those feelings away. With Emmett and Edward, they were happily taken. Jacob wasn't, but he was like her brother. Abraham was a stranger and one who had intentions to try and date her. _That's the difference,_ she realized. She knew with every instinct that Emmett, Edward, and Jacob weren't a threat to her feelings for Carlisle. They had no intentions of dating her. Abraham was. He was a great man, but she just...she couldn't. It's then she realized why it was so hard to get passed Brett's brushes of hand; her body was physically rejecting the touch of a man who wasn't Carlisle and who was trying to be romantically with her. (Not that she knew for sure with Brett, but she had her suspicions.)

"What happened?" Jake's voice was calm, but barely so and she realized the doors behind her were opening.

"I'm fine," she mumbled and shook her head. She wanted to talk to Jacob about this, she really did, but she needed sleep and she definitely couldn't do this in front of the others. "Inside. I need to sleep."

"Who are you?" Beth demanded.

Abigail slowly peaked over and saw Beth just a couple feet away with her hands on her hips. Rick and Abraham stood behind her, both very confused, and Abraham looked a little pissed off. The last thing she wanted to do was anger or hurt him, but she couldn't help her reactions.

"Jacob Black," he answered.

"He's my brother," Abigail mumbled. While shock registered over Beth's face, the other two look a bit relieved.

"Wait, Billy Black's son?"

Abigail had told him about the wedding so he didn't question how Beth knew that.

"Yeah. I'm gonna take Abi up to sleep." Clearly he wasn't happy with the others, she could hear it in his voice. She was his sister and she came back incomplete and so the others were naturally to blame. But he didn't get wolfy on them so at least that was a start. Still, Abigail could feel him begin to shake so she wiggled down, but didn't let go, and pressed him for the house.

"Let's go, Jake." She paused and turned back to the others, face apologetic. "Sorry again, guys. Really."

Beth looked at her softly and shook her head, hand reaching to squeeze her shoulder since Abigail's arms and hands are still locked firmly around Jacob. "Don't worry about it. Feel better." She paused. "Since Jacob's here, we're going to go back out, is that okay?"

Abigail nodded wordlessly and shooed then away. Once they pulled away, Jacob swept her up into his arms and headed for the house.

She laid her head on his shoulder, yawning softly and didn't even notice when they got upstairs until she was being set back down. She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her cardigan. Jacob held her steady while she wordlessly, barely noticing her surroundings, as she shucked off her shirt and pants and pulled on some pajamas. Jacob helped her into bed and she would out like a light the moment her head hit the pillow.

**.x.x.x.x.**

This time it was sunny, and for some reason she wasn't feeling the coolness of the breeze or the warmth of the sun on her face. A gentle smile pulled up at her lips and she hummed as she laid back letting the peace wash over her. It was perfect being there, just what she needed after having a day like she had. Nothing to bother her, no sickness, no darkness.

Only she wasn't alone, she realized a moment later. And she wasn't wearing anything. No clothes, not even bra and panties, or a bathing suit. Her skin shone, no _sparkled_ in the sunlight like diamonds, and she was astonished as she looked down at her naked body. Long and lean, she looked better than she ever thought she did, including the way her dark hair curled over her shoulders flawlessly.

Fingers touched her shoulders and yet she didn't jump, even though she hadn't been expecting it. But she knew that touch, knew who it was without even looking at him. She knew that touch better than she knew her own body, and she knew that this man knew her body better than she ever could. A smile shone on her lips as the corners tugged up, and her head fell back against solid muscle.

The growl that came from his lips as she did so caused her body to heat up in ways she couldn't even imagine, her body squirming slightly as a leg lifted and bent her knee into the air.

"Do you know how utterly exquisite you are, my love?" His voice was merely a purr, though she realized then that he might actually be purring. A sound left her throat that matched his and she slowly shook her head so dark curls floating in the breeze around them and tickled his chest, earning her another lovely growl.

"I am sure you will enlighten me, darling." Had she ever spoken in her dreams before? She didn't remember. And she hated that even as his fingers traced down her arms, she knew this was a dream.

"You are utter, unadulterated perfection. There is no part of you that I can resist. Of course, I have never really tried either."

She laughed, just a high tinkling of the softest bell. "Have you been looking in the mirror again, my husband?"

_Husband?_

"Only if you're standing next to me." She laughed again and soon found herself on her back, staring up into the beautiful butterscotch eyes of her beloved.

Carlisle's naked body was outlined by the sun, shimmering in the same way hers did, and she realized she had never seen a more beautiful sight in all of her existence. He was smiling at her, a look of such love and tenderness and adoration, that tears pressed her eyes. Or rather she thought they should've, but nothing came, though she had no time to think of how that could be now.

His eyes sparkled and he began to rock against her, making her whimper as white hot flames kissed the inside of her lower belly. "I want you," she said suddenly, her voice intense and coming out in a growl just like his did. A second later, before even thinking about it, she flipped him over on his back and he was looking up at her, ochre eyes suddenly black and full of hunger.

"Take me, my dearest Abigail."

A smile lifted her lips again and she shifted her hips, pulling them up, and slamming then down into his hard body.

**.x.x.x.x.**

The shaking of her body is what brought her out of her slumber, a gasp leaving her lips as she sat up, damp and covered in cold sweat, shivering as she looked around the room blindly. No more beach, no more Carlisle, no more shimmery beautiful bodies... She felt like sobbing.

Carefully she peaked at Jacob who looked pained, his large hand coming up to smooth down her hair.

"God, I thought you weren't gonna wake up. I was about to call 911. Were you having a nightmare? What happened? Are you okay?"

She frowned at him in confusion and she looked over at the window, startled to see it was daytime. A glance to the clock told her it was eleven AM and she was seriously late for work. But not only that, she had slept for over twleve hours.

Her eyes went wide and she jumped up, nearly falling over as her body trembled, and quickly reached for her closet knowing she had no time to shower.

"I have to work, I need to go. God, I'm so late..."

But Jacob grabbed her, pulling the scrubs from her hand and shaking his head. "No, Bunny, I called off for you. You were sweaty and shaky and would barely wake up to say you were fine, so I called them and told them you weren't coming in."

She stared at him in confused horror and slowly let go, allowing him to toss her scrubs aside and pull her against him. As soon as he did, she started sobbing, burying her face in his shoulder.

"What's happening to me?" she mumbled, feeling herself start to tremble even more violently.

"I don't know," he said, voice soft but full of worry.

It was then she decided to tell him everything, and she was grateful that he stayed silent. She went over everything: the dreams and the nightmare, her feelings, the run-ins with the Cullens, them ignoring her for a week, and finally with this past week and her breakdown last night. He didn't say a word and she was afraid to look at him, so afraid, and she felt sick again.

She darted into the bathroom, dry heaving into the bowl, and was a bit shocked that she felt him hold her hair out of the way. She expected him to run away in disgust. Slowly she looked up at him once she was done gagging and only saw fear in his eyes.

After that he helped her clean up and took her into the other room to sit with her on his lap.

"I don't think the hospital can help," he murmured. She slowly shook her head in agreement, and startled when he suddenly stood, his face resolved. "I think we need to get you to Carlisle."

The name made more tears fall down her face and slowly she shook her head even as he set her down, wrapped her in her discarded cardigan and a blanket, shoved some Ugg boots on her feet, and picked her up again.

"How can he help if the hospital can't?" she wondered. _Actually, he would help a lot,_ she thought. She craved to be near him, but she didn't say that out loud, and Jacob didn't answer her.

She wasn't surprised when Jacob headed for the woods, falling into an easy jog that luckily didn't jostle her body at all. She knew it was quicker to get there through the woods, especially for him, so she just leaned her head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat as he ran. She faded in and out of sleep, and it wasn't until she heard a growl that she jerked out of her sleep again.

It sounded similar to the one she thought she heard on the phone the previous night, but not quite the same. She expected to see a wolf there, but it was just the Cullens and Jacob. She hadn't even felt herself being carried up the front steps, and she looked around in confusion.

"What—" she began to ask, but her head suddenly spun and she shook her head, pressing it against Jacob's chest. She realized his body heat was only making her sweat more, yet the shivers didn't go away, so she stayed wrapped up there and tried to listen to the voices around her and make sense of them.

"What did you do?" The voice was a barely contained hiss full of rage and fury. _Emmett?_ she thought in confusion. She never heard him sound like that before, so angry and ferocious, but oddly enough it soothed rather than scared her.

"What makes you think I did this?" Jacob demanded with an indignant huff. "How in the hell can I make her sick?" She felt him shake his head. "She came to me like this. She was out with her roommate and some friends," Another hiss from Emmett, "and when she got back she was like this. I heard them coming home so I met them at the door."

"What caused it?"

Jacob paused. "I have no idea. Food poisoning maybe? She got sick at a restaurant in Port Angeles."

"It's not food poisoning." That was Alice. "It has to be something with—" But her voice stopped and Abigail heard nothing else until Jacob scoffed.

"That's stupid."

"It's the only thing that makes sense. Which means he needs to come home. I'll call him. Emmett will go with you to put her in bed."

"I'll take her up," Emmett growled and Abigail frowned. Where was that possessive coming from?

"Fine," Jacob relented, though didn't sound happy about it. "But I'm going with you."

"She'll be fine."

"She's my sister; I'm not going anywhere." It warmed Abigail to know Jacob returned her sentiment, and knew that would be their titles for each other from now on even though they weren't blood related.

"Whatever," Emmett huffed. She felt herself being moved and whimpered softly, causing the motions to stop and she just buried herself in the blanket more. Finally she was settled again, though the chest was wider and colder, she felt just as comfortable and safe there as she did in Jacob's arms.

She must've blacked out for a second because the next thing she knew she was gently being laid down, the blankets extracted so she could be placed beneath a large comforter, and her blanket was spread out on top.

"Nice. She's delirious, but not stupid." What did Jacob mean? Emmett simply scoffed.

With being laid down, she felt herself drift again, back and forth between waking and sleeping, feeling deep darkness swirling around her, only to jolt out of it by the front door slamming open downstairs.

"Where is she?!" a booming voice echoed out, fury barely hidden within it, and she whimpered again. But not of fear or of illness, but because she knew that voice and wanted to be closer to it. It warmed her up, made her entire body tingle and feel alive again for the first time in what felt like ages, her cheeks growing pink as her dream from the night before surfaced. She wiggled in her little cocoon, trying to get out of it, even as she heard a murmur and then swift feet carrying the owner up the stairs.

The door opened roughly and the next moment there was a cool hand on her forehead and she sighed in absolute completion. She was home, finally and truly home. Deep down a part of her told her not to get used to it, she would be losing it very soon, as soon as she was better. But that didn't mean she would forget this feeling, what it felt like to be so whole and...god, she felt loved, just by that simple touch. So even though she was rational deep down, the part of her that was awake was leaning into the hand, whimpering and struggling to be free. It was the other her, the part of her she told Edward about, and it was that woman that wanted to cling to this man and never let go.

 _Her_ Carlisle.

Yes, hers. Completely, irrevocably hers. She knew that even if it was unrequited, she knew he was hers. He had to be. The possessiveness swelled in her like a tsunami and broke over the dam holding it back. It wanted to hiss and growl at anyone who dared come near him, pull him away and make him hers and only hers. He was a beautiful man, he could have anybody, so there was no question he would never want her, but that feeling was overwhelming and soon she was trembling again, aching as she slumped back in bed and let the darkness overcome her again.

* * *

**-Alice-**

The small vampire stayed silent in the doorway as Carlisle sat next to his mate and checked her out. For a moment she seemed fine, strong and wanting to break from her blanket prison. But she soon stopped, breathing even and heart erratic, giving into unconsciousness. The worry and agony and fear in Carlisle's face made it so nobody could look at him too long, especially because every single one of them felt guilty for this even though they knew none of them could have prevented it.

Only once Alice knew Abigail was unable to hear them anymore, did she take a step forward. Edward arrived behind her, an unpleasant look twisting his face, but she held up a hand to stop him.

"It's not food poisoning," Alice said gently just like she had told Jacob before.

"I know," Carlisle whispered. As a doctor and her mate, of course he knew. Usually mates couldn't feel the other until the bond was consummated, but this was a different sort of circumstance. They had been mated in 1776, so perhaps that clung on even through her death and rebirth.

"You're both denying your mate. Vampires have never mated with humans before, at least not without being turned immediately after. When Edward left, Bella became a zombie. When Abigail died, you didn't move for nearly thirty years. It's the feeling of being away from your mate. So perhaps this is how it's showing itself in her, as a physical illness instead of emotional pain."

"She's in pain," Carlisle whispered and Alice nodded slowly.

"Jacob, do you know how it happened?"

He shifted. "Not exactly. I mean, I wasn't there. She told me some, but...not a lot of it made sense. Maybe it was the illness." He shrugged. "She was in Port Angeles—"

Carlisle hissed, dark eyes flashing up even as his fingers tenderly stroked his mate's forehead. "They took her out of Forks?"

 _Taking his mate so far away without his knowledge? Not the best idea,_ Alice thought wryly.

Jacob shrugged. "I guess. But they were eating and she was drinking," Another hiss form Carlisle, "and I guess they were talking about their jobs. Then she just feels sick and runs to throw up." He paused. "Thing is, she said that it made it worse when she thought of or was touched by someone. Well, the dude she was on a date with. Beth touched her, I touched her, Emmett did..."

"It has to be her instincts rejecting the intentions of romance from another male. Her body only wants her mate even if her mind doesn't know it, and—"

"Actually," Edward cut in, looking a bit pained. "I think she does." All eyes whipped to him. "Well, not in the correct terms, but close enough. When she got here, she was still conscious, if a bit out of it. But besides trying to figure out what was happening, all she could think about was Carlisle."

The look on his face changed so suddenly, from anguish to deep wonder. They all knew how hard he wanted to fight it, but they all saw where that was getting them.

"And...she had another dream." Eyes whipped to him again. "A beach. Not...not clothed." If he could've blushed, they knew he would, and Carlisle's face fell back into anger as a possessive growl left his lips. "Calm down, I didn't look at her. I just wanted to know what she was thinking and it just popped up. But it was a beach and she was definitely a vampire by then. She was sitting alone and then you showed up, Carlisle. Lots of nice words and then..." He trailed off looking rather uncomfortable, but they l got his drift. "Is this a memory?"

Carlisle's face became pained again and slowly he nodded. "Turn of the century. We were in France. We moved around a lot more then because it was just the two of us, and we hadn't decided where we wanted to settle. Well it was our anniversary—I will never forget the day she became mine," His face turned bittersweet, "—and I took her to an island still uncharted at the time by humans. Since we were alone, we could go out in the sunlight without worrying of revealing our true identities. We spent a year there before we went back inland. It was just two months later we came back to America." He sighed. "She'll always be getting these dreams, won't she?"

Edward hesitated, but nodded. "They're getting more and more real." He winced. "Even the nightmare, which is changing as well. You're there still, but you're screaming and she's burning."

"Enough!" Carlisle spat in agony and stood, beginning to pace quickly.

"Carlisle, you can't keep denying her or yourself for much longer. Nobody says you have to change her if you give in. She can still have a human life."

"But she'll die."

Alice nodded solemnly. "Yes. Humans always do."

Carlisle sighed raggedly and quickly went back to her when she started to whimper again. His hand on her forehead stopped her and she fell back into a slumber, Carlisle's face twisting in resolved agony.

"I can't change her," he whispered hollowly. "But I can't keep away from her. Not any longer."

The rest of them all breathed out a sigh of relief. Alice sorted quickly through her visions and frowned when she realized she still couldn't see if Abigail changed or not, but at least she didn't see her dying of old age. Edward look just as frustrated, but he accepted it with a quick nod.

They all grew silent then, eyes on Abigail as she slumbered, bodies tense as they waited for her to wake up, to heal and find out what was in store for her next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter fifteen: 
> 
> \- [Blind Date](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_fourteen-fifteen_second_chance/set?id=220361107)


	16. Promise

**-Abigail-**

Sense of time and her surroundings were faded to nothing as she slept, moving in and out of her dreams until they slowly started to form a timeline. The dream as a battlefield nurse was first, the beach dream was second, and her red-eyed killer nightmare was third. She knew they were all from the same life, this other her, but it felt like a fantasy because they all seemed to be from different periods of history far enough apart there was no way she couldn't experienced them in one lifetime. While she never believed in reincarnation, part of her screamed that something very similar had happened. She had lived this other life— _lives?_ —with Carlisle and now here she was once again in his presence. She didn't understand it and no new dreams came to her, at least nothing solid. Edward appeared first, becoming friend and family. Rosalie and then Emmett next. _Baby boy,_ she couldn't help but think whenever she saw that childish grin light up his face. Alice and Jasper were last. This all happened between the beach and the nightmare, and yet it all faded out into darkness soon after.

She wished she could see more from before the beach, selfishly wanting just her and Carlisle back, but as soon as she wished it she felt all dreams and darkness and confusion fading as slowly waking consciousness lingered in her mind. Part of her didn't want to wake, but she knew she had to, and something was drawing her out of slumber.

First it was just a pull on her chest, like a small tug as if someone has grabbed her and pulled her. But then it became more harsh until she could barely breathe making her gasp in ragged breaths, her stomach clenching and releasing, her body shivering, and she was thrown back into the world violently.

"Hey hey, whoa. You're okay, Bunny. I've gotcha." The voice was familiar and she slowly cracked open her aching eyes to see her brother sitting next to her stroking her hair.

"Jake?" she croaked, wincing at the sound of her voice and he nodded with a smile.

"There she is. We thought you'd never come back." His voice was a little teasing, but his eyes were almost haunted. She frowned and tried to sit up, but her body ached too much.

"What happened?" She paused and looked around. "The Cullens'." She remembered it all then. The sham of a date, finding Jacob at her house, the dream, nearly collapsing... "I remember."

Jacob nodded and he gently pulled her closer, placing her against his broad chest and running his fingers through her hair. "You've been asleep for hours. It's about eleven."

Her eyes widened in alarm. " _PM_?!"

He nodded gravely. "You've slept almost twenty-four hours, Bunny." He paused. "You scared the shit out of me." He tried to sound cross, but his face was even more pained and she pressed her face to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Hulk. I don't know what happened..."

"Carlisle will help."

Her head snapped up, dizziness settling in, but she ignored it. "He's here? Can I see him? Where is he?"

Yeah, the other her was definitely alive and kicking, knocking out any rational thought. But she was too weak and too starved for him to try and control herself.

Jacob almost looked amused as he pulled out his phone and quickly dialed. "She's awake," he said into it. "I know he did, but he was wrong, she's awake now... Well, do you want me to prove it?"

She frowned as he held out his phone. "Hello?" she asked timidly.

"Abigail!" Alice's voice broke over the speaker and Abigail couldn't go but smile. She had wished it was Carlisle, but she had to admit it was nice to hear Alice's voice, especially after her dreams. "We're on our way back. We needed to run out for some food."

"Take your time. Couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to." She tried to make it a joke, but it fell flat as Jacob glared and she heard Alice tutting her disapproval. Apparently it was too soon to joke at her own expense.

"Two minutes," Alice said before she hung up. Abigail bit her lip as she handed the phone back to Jacob.

"I wish you wouldn't be so careless with your own health," Jacob muttered as he put the phone on the bedside table. "I don't know how this happened," Something in his tone said he wasn't entirely truthful, but she ignored it, "but if you ever try and leave me like that again, I'll be so pissed."

"I wasn't _trying_ to," she murmured, her fingers playing with the duvet, glad he was there to distract her so she wouldn't focus on the fact she could see Carlisle soon. It almost felt like she could feel him getting closer, her blood singing and rushing through her, heartbeat stopping and then hammering out a tune behind her ribs. "It must've been food poisoning."

"This morning you said it was because you touched a guy," he said, chagrined.

She winced. "I didn't touch him. Not really. I sat next to him at dinner and then I felt sick."

"Did he smell that bad?"

She rolled her eyes and glanced up in annoyance at his grinning face. "So you can make jokes and I can't?"

"I didn't almost die last night."

"I didn't almost die." She paused, frowning. "Did I?" His silence was enough and so she stayed quiet until she heard the front door open and hurried footsteps on the stairs.

 _It's him,_ she thought, heartbeat almost going as fast as a hummingbird's, sitting up more carefully with Jacob's help so she could lean against the headboard.

There was a soft knock and Jacob mumbled, "Come in," before the door was pushed open. Her breath caught as she saw him, body bathed and haloed but the hallway light, and she realized yet again how beautiful he was. She actually felt dizzy just from that and nearly grabbed for Jacob as he stood, but decided she didn't want to.

 _I want Carlisle to hold me,_ she thought, throwing all caution to the wind as she allowed her other self to take over, at least for right then.

"I'll leave ya to it, Doc," Jacob said. He leaned down and kissed Abigail's temple. "Take care of my sister, would ya?"

"You know I will, Jacob," Carlisle said quietly. Abigail's heart thumped again and she realized Carlisle had never taken his eyes off her.

"I'm right downstairs if you need me, kid," he said before moving from the room. Normally she would've given him all kinds of hell for calling her _"kid,"_ but she let it go because she couldn't focus anything but the man in the doorway.

As soon as Jacob was gone, Carlisle stepped in and shut the door behind him. He was dressed in what he normally wore: black slacks with a white button down shirt, a cardigan, and a scarf. His hair styled back into perfection, his eyes bright and golden. He was the embodiment of perfection, completely male and completely beautiful.

 _And all mine,_ she thought possessively.

He moved towards her, and it was then she realized he held a bag that she knew he carried his medical equipment in. She gulped as he sat on the edge of the bed Jacob had just vacated and let out a breath as he looked at her, eyes oh so tender and looking at her as if she was worthy to be beheld by such splendidness.

"You gave us all quite the scare," he said softly, speaking for the first time and causing her head to spin yet again.

Softly she bit her lip, catching the way his eyes darted down quickly with the movement and back up, so fast that if she hadn't been looking right into his gaze, she wouldn't have caught it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, glad the hoarseness was gone from her voice. "I don't... I don't know what happened."

He nodded and opened his bag to rummage around and bring out a stethoscope. He put the ends in his ears and pressed the end of it to her chest, his other hand lifting to her shoulder to keep her still, and she blushed a bright red as she knew he could hear the wild thump of her heart and the raggedness of her breath. But he didn't say anything, and for that she was eternally grateful.

"Could you walk me through the night?" he murmured as he moved to the other side if her chest. "Perhaps we can figure it out." He pulled back and reached around to listen at her back, and she realized she still had on her own cardigan and wondered how he could hear through that, but didn't question it.

She really didn't want to go through the night. That would be admitting she went out with another man, and if she didn't feel guilty before, it nearly choked her then. She had been confident when she wasn't near him, but having him listen to her talk about it, she knew she would be a wreck when she was done.

As it was, she couldn't look at him, but she did speak, going through the details of the night as she stared at her twisting fingers. Luckily she didn't have to explain away anything like a kiss, but it was enough to admit Abraham helping her from the car where he held her hand, and sitting next to him in the restaurant with her side pressed against him. She left out as well the parts where it was thoughts of him, realizing that he was never far from her mind, and the fact she was on a date, that had her sick. Because she still didn't know what to think of it herself, and telling Jacob was bad enough, but admitting it to the man of her obsession was a bit more than she could handle.

Once she was done, he was silent and it was a bit disconcerting. She had no clue if it was him deliberating something or if it was bad, so she peaked up at him. _It's bad,_ she thought with surprise as she saw his eyes squeezed shut, lips pealed back away form his teeth, fingers literally crushing the metal of the stethoscope he held, body rigid.

"Did... Did I say something wrong?" she asked quietly, innocently. The sound of her voice drew him from his thoughts and when he opened his eyes, she didn't know if she more startled by the barely contained fury she saw in the depths, or the fact that they were pure black. _They must have dilated from his emotions,_ she thought rationally. Even with the color change and the rage, she didn't shrink back or feel one ounce of fear. Instead she felt the guilt again, and had an overwhelming urge to comfort him. Her arms twitched, wanting to reach for him, pull him close, tell him that it would never happen again as she was his.

Except she wasn't.

She never would be.

Because he wasn't hers.

He didn't want her.

She would never have him.

And she would never be his.

It was like a bucket of cold water got poured over her and she flinched, looking away from him and back down to her hands—missing the way his gaze changed form fury to agony the second she grimaced—her cheeks flushing as she struggled not to cry.

"No," he finally said, no hint of the fury she saw in his eyes reflected in his voice. She almost risked a glance up, but she couldn't. She couldn't look into his eyes again and know he would never actually be hers. Her, the real her and not this other her, was crawling back to the surface and as much as she wanted to push her away, she had to give up the fantasy sooner or later. Dreams were just that, and beautiful successful doctors didn't give girls like her a second glance.

"You didn't say anything wrong." He continued, oblivious to her tide of emotions. Her heart continued to pound, but this time it was from it breaking even more. She didn't hear him take a deep breath. "I just really dislike hearing about you dating other men."

Well, that certainly got her attention, and her moist eyes snapped back up to his. She was a bit surprised to see the ochre at the edges of the black as if fighting it, similar to the way his emotions warred on his face. It shocked her, more than she could say, especially paired with the way he seemed to show fury, agony, and something else she couldn't place all at once. It made her dizzy, her body full of longing to crawl into his arms, and she barely held back.

"I—" She paused and slowly shook her head. "I don't understand. Why...why do you care? I mean—" _That sounded incredibly rude._ She winced and looked away again. "I mean, I'm just your coworker, your kids' friend. I don't see..." She trailed off.

He didn't speak for a couple moments. "You're much more than that, Abigail." The sound of her name on his lips had her shivering and she heard a ragged sigh come from him. "Do you know how utterly exquisite you are?"

The words, the words from her dream, dropped on her like an anvil and she gasped, looking up sharply and not missing the way his eyes filled with that same emotion before that she couldn't place. Her gaze flickered over him, confused and full of so much longing that she began to tremble.

"How—" she mumbled uselessly because the next moment, he moved. His fingers reached up and landed on her cheek, the coolness of his touch fading slowly into welcoming warmth and her eyelids fluttering. Her hand came up to rest over his, and she looked up at him through sparkling emerald eyes as waves and waves of emotion hit her. Love was the strongest one, love and longing and desperation and guilt and loneliness and... She didn't even know at that point, but his touch was so utterly familiar, and as soon as his fingers grazed her, any churning in her stomach or dizziness in her head fled from her body.

She whimpered softly, her eyes shutting, and she heard a ragged sigh from Carlisle. Soon she was drawn out from the blankets, her limbs pushing and kicking desperately because he was drawing her nearer to him. Her heart pounded so that's all she could hear, her nerves and excitement so thick she could taste it as a ball in her throat.

He tugged her away from the confines finally and onto his lap where she opened her eyes again, staring up into pure butterscotch once more as he looked down at her in a way she had never seen anybody look at her before. She felt adored, loved, safe...she felt _home_.

"Carlisle," she murmured and he let out a soft, longing groan and pulled her chin up to him.

The first touch of their lips was like heaven. The cliche fireworks were nothing compared to the cool, gentle press of Carlisle's lips against her own. She whimpered again, letting go of her fear and confusion and restraint as she let herself melt against him, her hands reaching up to his shoulders and sliding around him, her chest up against his.

One of his hands stayed on her cheek while the other crept down around her waist and he pulled her impossibly closer. Her bottom half was at an awkward angle which made it hard to get closer, but she wasn't brave enough to move and straddle his legs. Plus she was far too invested in the kiss to do much besides focus on the touch of his hands, the movements of his mouth expert and oh so familiar over hers, the way he hesitantly explored her lips with his tongue and she opened to let him in.

It lasted far shorter than what she wanted, but so much more passionately than she had ever experienced before. It was he who broke away first and she tried to follow his lips with her own with a soft whimper, and she felt his silent laughter as he gently kept her in place while he pulled his head back.

Her eyes slowly flickered open to find his staring at her adoringly. His thumb had taken to stroking the apple of her cheek and she gently bit her lip again. She must've been crazy when she thought his eyes changed to black for a split second before he tugged her lip back out gently with his thumb.

"I suppose you see now why I cannot stand the thought of you dating another man." His eyes grew anguished. "I can't bear it, my sweet Abigail."

Her breath caught and stuttered out. "I'm sorry," she whispered as the guilt poked her in the arm and then jumped in to strangle her. Tears pressed her eyes and before she could stop herself, her arms were tight around his shoulders and she was nuzzling the skin of his neck, feeling the salt water drip rivulets down her face and onto his cardigan. "I-I thought..." She couldn't finish, her voice choked off.

His arms were just as tight as hers, lips pressing softly along her collarbone. "What?" he wondered gently.

She shakily sighed, unwilling to lift her head from his neck. She was leaning almost all her weight in him, but he didn't even sway under the burden of it. He kept her up, safe in the circle of his arms, unwilling to let her fall.

"I thought you didn't care about me. I...I wanted to try and get over you. That was the only reason I agreed to go with them."

His moan then was soft and full of pain. "I'm so sorry I made you think that, sweetheart. I thought staying away was best." He sighed, seeming to fight with himself for a moment before letting out a hopeless sigh. "I've loved you from the moment my eyes first beheld you, my dear. There has never been anyone else for me but you."

Her lips parted in shock and she let out another sob against him. "I love you, too," she whimpered. She knew she thought it was too soon, but it felt like it had been decades since she first saw him and she craved him, needed more. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, I'm so sorry..."

"Shh shh, my love," he whispered thickly. "No more tears. You have nothing to apologize for, my sweet Abigail. I should apologize for keeping us apart." He seemed for a moment like he wanted to say more there, but he didn't. "I just need you to promise me something from here on out."

She looked up, sniffing and lifting a hand to wipe at her tears, but he got there first and was so much more delicate than she would've been. She nodded eagerly, desperate to give him anything be wanted. "Anything, Carlisle. I'll promise you anything."

"Promise me you'll be mine for the rest of your life."

Her lips parted again and she let out another sob. Leaning in, she caught his lips as she nodded against him, arms tight around his neck. "I promise, I promise, I promise..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! So from now on, I'll be posting outfits for (mostly) each chapter. I have updated the previous 15 chapters with the links at the end (if there is one), so you're welcome to go back and take a look. I will be posting them on the chapters going forward as well. Thanks for reading! Comments are love!


	17. Carlisle's Truth

**-Abigail-**

They stayed together the whole night, though Carlisle did move them so they were more comfortable with him sitting against the headboard and her cradled in his lap. Since she had slept for so long, she wasn't tired, though she knew a full day at the hospital would change that. However, just as she suggested it, Carlisle let out a growl that had her immediately running her fingers through his hair in soothing strokes and she decided rather quickly that she would be calling out again that day. Plus she wasn't too thrilled about getting out of this bed let alone Carlisle's arms. And she didn't want to spend most of her day away from him, knowing how clingy that sounded and knowing she didn't care.

She had him.

He was hers.

He loved her as she loved him.

Her wildest dreams had come true.

He grabbed Jacob's phone from where he had left it on the table and handed it to her. She realized that hers was at home and his must've been far enough away that he didn't want to let her up to get it. The thought made her smile as she dialed in Forks Hospital's phone number.

"Forks Hospital, emergency department."

The voice on the line was definitely not Mackenzie and she pulled back in alarm. _Dr. Jones._ Her stomach clenched and her body trembled and she shook her head, seeing Carlisle's alarm grow.

"Hello, Dr. Jones." At least she didn't have to work to make her voice sound weak. Carlisle's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Abs!" She winced. She really hated that nickname. "I suppose you calling means you're not feeling well still?"

She shook her head. "No," she said simply.

"Well, maybe you should come in anyway, see a doctor. I can take a look—"

His words were cut off from Abigail's ear as Carlisle snatched the phone away and pressed it to his own. His eyes were black again. _Wow, that happens quick,_ she thought as her fingers wound up into his hair.

"That won't be necessary, Dr. Jones," he said cooly into the phone. "Yes, this is Dr. Cullen. Abigail will be under my care. Please mark her and myself down as out for the rest of the week." Her eyes grew wide, ready to argue, but a look from Carlisle had her silenced. "Dr. Fitzgerald from the ICU should be able to cover my patients until I return. Thank you, Brett. Have a pleasant weekend." He sounded like he meant anything but, and he clicked off as soon as the words left his mouth. The phone was tossed away and he pressed his face to her neck. She could feel himself gathering his control and she ran soothing fingers through his hair.

When he finally looked up, his eyes still flashed, but they were ochre again, and he looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured. "I don't like that man. I've seen him touch you." His teeth gnashed. "I wish you didn't have to work around him."

"You and me both. He makes me uncomfortable."

His eyes flickered to hers and for a moment, she saw the danger in them. "Has he ever done anything or touched you in an inappropriate way?"

She shrugged and glanced away, but he turned her face back to him. "No, not exactly," she murmured. "I mean... I suppose most would consider it friendly or something. Touching my back, my hand..." Carlisle growled softly and fingers resumed their trek through his hair. "Nothing to be considered harassment, but it makes me uncomfortable."

Carlisle slowly swallowed, but he nodded and she could see that he was fighting the urge to do or say something more. She cupped his cheek with her free hand and gazed into his eyes tenderly. _God, what did I do to deserve this man?_ she wondered. Her heart clenched and as she looked at him, she could feel all the broken, bruised, and bloodied pieces of her heart stitching themselves slowly back together. He was her dream, her everything. There as nothing she wouldn't do for him, nothing she wouldn't give up to be with him. She loved him, he was her whole heart.

"I love you," she whispered and she felt pride, elation, and wonder at her own power that she saw everything melt from him in an instant and his gaze was just as tender and as adoring as hers was.

"I love you, too, my sweet Abigail."

They stayed upstairs alone for another hour until her stomach growled. She tried to say she was fine, but the look on his face had her scurrying in to the shower. Her hair was gross and greasy and she yelled herself silly, admonishing herself for not fixing it before he saw her. _Silly, he doesn't care,_ she thought, after all he admitted his love for her even though she looked gross. But she cared.

She had grabbed clothes from the closet before she went in— _whose clothes even are these?_ she wondered as they fit like a glove—and once she was done and dry, she pulled them on. Khaki pants that were just tight enough not to need a belt, a white camisole, and a soft cashmere sweater over it that V-ed down enough to see the lace of the camisole peaking through. Her hair she dried and brushed and left wavy, and she slipped into some black flats that were similar to the others she had at home that Alice had given her before.

Usually she didn't care about her looks, she didn't care what she wore. She didn't think herself attractive—though compared to the Cullen girls she knew she looked like a troll—even though she tried. But now... She felt different. She liked what she in the mirror, and the radiant glow to her skin made her smile. She knew Carlisle made all the difference; he brought her to life in ways she never dreamed possible. And she knew without a doubt that he was her reason for existing, the reason she was put on this planet. To love him and be loved by him. Take care of him and let him take care of her. Spend her life with him.

Smiling shyly as pink invaded her cheeks, she moved back into the bedroom where she could feel her love waiting for her. She carefully set her pajamas down by the bed and looked at him shyly as he seemed to let out a shaky breath and move for her like she was tugging him. He had changed into a pair of black trousers and a light blue button down with a scarf, and he never looked more handsome. _Maybe that's because I know he's mine,_ she thought giddily. Her thoughts were so different from the ones before the kiss, when she was convinced it would never happen. But now that she had him, now that she knew what it was like to be in his arms, she didn't know how she survived before without him.

He guided her to him gently and pressed his lips into hers tenderly. "You look exquisite, my darling," he purred, stepping back to take a very appreciative look over her and it made her already pink cheeks darken.

That word, _"exquisite,"_ it brought back to mind her dream and she desperately wanted to say something, but she couldn't, not yet. She didn't want to seem crazy. Because the fact that the line was directly from her dream was just a coincidence. And it didn't mean she didn't enjoy hearing it.

"You're entirely too ridiculous," she said with a playful grin making him chuckle as he pulled her closer once more. "But thank you. You look rather dashing yourself. I love the scarves on you." She fingered the one he was wearing, a light gray one, and for a moment she just pondered it.

_"Thank you, my darling, I love it." He grinned at her as he held up the scarf she had wrapped so lovingly the night before. "I have no idea how you managed to work out my birthday after all these years."_

_"With Emmett and Edward's help." Abigail smiled and leaned up to nip at his bottom lip. "After all, it's not everyday your husband turns three hundred years old. It's a special day."_

_"So, a scarf?"_

_"Damn right, a scarf. And you love it, too." She scoffed as he smirked and he simply pulled her in for a loving kiss._

Abigail blinked, hearing Carlisle say her name, and she looked up at his worried eyes. How long has she spaced out?

"What? Sorry I..." She trailed off because she had no logical explanation.

"Are you okay?" His palm was cupping her chin, tilting it up as if to look for signs of distress and she nodded, taking his wrist and kissing his hand, smiling softly.

"I'm perfect, my love. Shall we?"

Carlisle studied her for another moment before offering her his arm. She tucked her hand into his elbow and he led her downstairs, not catching the moment of panic on her face.

Jacob was nowhere to be found, but she couldn't think to hard on it as the moment she stepped off the stairs, she heard a loud squeal and then she had her arms full of pixie. She was shocked for a moment and then she laughed, arms wrapping around Alice's body and hugging her tight.

"Finally!" the girl squealed and Abigail raised an eyebrow.

"Finally?" she wondered. Alice just pulled back to smile at her mysteriously before tugging her into the kitchen. Rosalie was there with Bella and Carlie. Bella cooked and the others sat at the table and they all looked up expectantly as she walked in. Alice still held her hand, but Carlisle's hand was on her lower back so it made her more at ease.

The other three looked very pleased she was there and welcomed her to the table, making her blush yet again. It seemed to her like all the air of tension was gone. Maybe it was just around her and Carlisle before, but it felt a bit easier to breathe as she eagerly accepted her pancakes and eggs from a smiling Bella.

"We've already eaten so it's all yours," she said warmly. Abigail's eyes lit up and she thanked her profusely before digging in. Alice was to her left and Carlisle to her right, never really letting his fingers leave her even as she reached for more. Emmett, Edward, and Jasper soon wandered in and began conversation with the others. It was soft and just what Abigail needed right then even though she was mostly quiet except for feeding her face.

Halfway through she realized there were eyes on her and she looked up and saw Emmett at the other end of the table smirking at her, a glint in his eye she couldn't place, but it was gone as soon as he realized she was looking.

"What?" she asked self-consciously after swallowing another bite of fluffy pancakes. _Baby boy,_ she suddenly thought, remembering the barrage of weird images that flashed through her dreams. She missed Edward's sudden snap of the head, the way he stared at her in wondering disbelief, the way Carlisle caught his gaze over her head.

"Never seen you eat so much," Emmett said.

Abigail raised an eyebrow. "I slept for twenty-four hours, what do you expect?"

But suddenly Emmett's face changed as if she had slapped him and she looked at him in alarm, unaware that while they were talking, Edward hearing her thoughts and whispered, "She remembers 'Baby Boy,'" to him. It was so soft her human ears couldn't pick it up, but all of the others could and the emotions ranged from shock to wonder to horror to confusion.

"What's wrong?" she asked, watching as he stood up and his whole body shook. She stood up, too, and he took a step away and her eyes became hurt. "Emmett..."

He turned and stalked away then, fists clenching at his sides and the front door slammed. She winced and her appetite was gone. She sat back and dropped her fork, staring at the table for a moment before her watery eyes lifted to Carlisle's stunned, yet soft ochre hues.

"What did I do?" she wondered softly, her voice breaking. He shook his head, eyes growing sad and tender and he reached up to cup her cheek.

"Nothing, sweetheart. He just... He got some news earlier he wasn't ready for and he's still taking it badly." She wasn't sure she fully understood or believed him, but she knew she should so she nodded and let him pull her against his chest. The room was quiet for a moment before Rosalie moved, coming to place a hand on Abigail's shoulder. Abigail glanced up, caught Rosalie's smile, and then the blonde moved to go after her husband.

Abigail sniffled a little and Carlisle wiped at her tears and kissed her tenderly. "Don't worry, my love, he'll be okay." Abigail nodded and couldn't help but glance out the door he had went through. She wanted to go after him, everything in her wanted to, but she knew Rosalie would get him to come back, and she had a feeling he didn't want to see her right then. She was going to try and talk to him later, and she desperately hoped he would let her.

Slowly the conversation picked up around her again, unaware of Edward quickly murmuring her newest dream to the family, as she slowly ate though it was with less enthusiasm. She didn't want to waste food, though. But Carlisle picked up on her mood rather quickly and gently pried the fork from her fingers and moved them to the stairs.

He led her back up them and she expected to head back to her unofficial, official room, but instead they went the opposite direction. She was able to take in more of the house and realized how beautiful it was. There was minimal decoration, but it suited the place. It was them and she adored it.

The room he picked out was away from the others and when he opened the door, he let her in front of him. It was dark, the drapes closed and she squinted, but blinked a moment later as the light ahead clicked on.

It only took her a moment to gasp as she took in the room. Three of the walls, other than where the windows were, had floor to ceiling bookshelves covering them with books covering every inch. A large mahogany desk sat in one corner with a large leather chair behind it. A couch sat towards the opposite wall and, like the bedroom, it had light hardwood floors covered by an area rug.

"Oh my gosh," she murmured, taking her hand from Carlisle for a moment to go study the books. To her greater shock, most looked like first editions— _oh my, that's a first edition Pride and Prejudice_ —and she pulled her hand back, afraid to touch them. She turned in a slow circle and she had assumed the wall with the door would also have the bookshelves, but they held instead many kinds of paintings, all different eras. So many styles, none of the paintings the same size. One, curiously, had what looked like a black cloth made from silk covering it, and she frowned for a moment before looking back to Carlisle. He was looking at her with an almost guarded expression, and she wasted no time after seeing that to hop back to him, throw her arms around his neck, and kiss him deeply.

He hummed as he returned the favor. His arms were tight and comforting around her as he nearly pulled her off her feet and she grinned, standing up more on her toes as a way to indicate that he could do that. After all, Jacob and Charlie did it, and Emmett did it without needing her permission, so he surely could, too, especially if that meant being closer for kisses.

He grinned back and took her hint, pulling her off her feet so she dangled nearly a foot off the floor, her legs kicking back and her shoes flopping off, but she didn't care. For a moment she wondered if holding her up would be too much, but he didn't even seem to strain so she was content in staying right there.

Too soon, he reluctantly pulled away and she pouted, causing him to laugh and kiss her again, but just a peck. He set her on her feet and she found her shoes quickly.

"While I would love to kiss you for eternity, I have to talk to you about something, my sweet Abigail."

While he didn't seem to be nervous himself, those words filled her with dread and her smile quickly faded. She stared up at him fearfully and it seemed to take him only a second to realize why her expression changed and quickly his eyes widened and he shook his head, taking a step to her to fill in the space between them.

"Oh god, baby, no. _No,_ I'm so sorry. It's not a break up talk, no. Definitely not. Never. No." He was so adamant and so troubled by that thought that her body relaxed and she let out a breath, leaning forward to cling to him.

"Sorry. That's usually what people say when it's bad news."

"I would never leave you," he murmured and though her head, her rational side, told her that he could never promise that and he'll get tired of her soon enough, her heart, the less rational side to her, believed him and knew that he never would go back on his words. This time, she followed her heart.

"Nor I you, my love," she whispered. He tilted her head up and a flash of pain crossed his face, but it was gone as soon as it was there and she might've imagined it. He cradled her cheeks in his palms, her arms around his waist, and he kissed her again. Slowly, passionately, pouring all his intentions into that kiss.

As before, it was over too soon and when she tried to follow his lips, he smiled and gently eased her back. "Let's sit, sweetheart." She nodded as he took her hand and led her to the couch. She realized as she sat that the door was closed and she was glad they had this privacy. She loved how close this family was—she craved it—but sometimes even she needed privacy.

He never let go of her hand and she felt that was a good sign. But he looked troubled as if he didn't know how or where to start, and she tilted her head to study him. He tried a couple times to speak, but it didn't come out and she frowned. She hated seeing him like that. He never had trouble saying what he meant and so her instincts, the need to make him feel better and take care of him, had her crawling into his lap and nuzzling against his neck. If she could purr, she sure as hell would because he needed it. As it was, what she gave seemed like enough because he sighed and wrapped one arm around her, the other he used to tilt her chin back up to him.

"The time you've spent in La Push... Did Billy Black ever tell you the tribe legends?"

Abigail rose an eyebrow and nodded. "Yeah. A long time ago, but I remember some of them. Like the tribe turning into wolves." She grinned. "Not so much a legend anymore."

Her grin faded as he looked pained, hand making soft motions on her hip. "Do you remember why they turned into wolves?"

"Sure. A threat to the tribe. It came from them once being spirit warriors."

Carlisle slowly nodded. "Do you remember the threat?"

That had her pausing her her nose scrunched up a little as she thought. Her mind went back to the bonfires out on the beach, sitting around with Jacob, Billy, Charlie, Old Quil, and Sam, and hearing about how an enemy attacked the tribe so they turned into wolves for protection. Another enemy came for revenge and almost killed the last wolf, but then the Third Wife stabbed herself in the heart to distract the enemy and the wolf was able to kill it.

"Cold Ones," she murmured, not even realizing she said it aloud as she remembered the name Billy had said to them. She only realized when Carlisle's grip tightened a little on her hip and she looked up at him. His face was pained again and she frowned, fingers finding his hair. She was unsure how she knew that his having his hair played with would be of comfort to him, but as usual, it worked.

"Yes," he whispered.

"But that's a legend, too, right?" She paused. "Though, I guess we established that the wolves aren't just a legend anymore. So chances are, the Cold Ones aren't either." Carlisle looked pained again and slowly shook his head, but said nothing. His fingers slipped ever so slightly under her shirt.

They were warmer to her ever since they got together, but she knew to everyone else they were cold as that was proved when he sewed up her arm. Unnaturally cold, actually. Like Alice. And Emmett. And Edward...

"Oh," she said suddenly, her stunned eyes turning up to that of Carlisle's. " _Oh._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter seventeen:
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens (2)](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_seventeen-nineteen_second_chance/set?id=220361428)


	18. The Cold Ones

**-Abigail-**

Slowly she slid off his lap to the couch behind her and to her surprise and sadness, he let her go without complaint. But she couldn't voice that right then because her mind was wrapping around the fact that sitting in front of her was one of the Cold Ones from Billy's story, another legend of its own that clearly was not actually a legend. It was clear what the Cold Ones actually were, but she was so stunned she couldn't move. How could she not have known they weren't human? How could she not have remembered Billy's story? She heard it more than once and yeah it seemed just like a campfire story at the time, but she remembered how serious he was about it. It occurred to her that he might've known Jacob and the others would phase one day.

But this wasn't about Jacob, not this time. She saw that and handled that awhile ago. This time it was Carlisle, and what he was. Not human. A Cold One. "Vampire," she whispered, not even realizing she had uttered the word aloud until she felt distress coming to her from...the other side of the room?

She looked up in alarm and found herself alone on the couch and her eyes sought him out quickly, and only did she breathe again when she saw him. Standing behind the leather chair, eyes agonized and guarded as he watched her gather her thoughts. _Why's he over there?_ she thought. Oh. _Oh. No no no, he thinks I'm going to be afraid of him. No no, oh god, baby, no. I'm not afraid. Never afraid._ Why should she be afraid? All he's done is protect her and love her; why should that change who he is? She had been afraid for thirty seconds when Jacob phased, but he didn't ease her into it and let her draw her own conclusion like Carlisle did. Plus, she was in love with Carlisle and she knew there was nothing that could change her mind.

Standing up, she saw his body tense and the way his face changed, it was clear he was waiting for her to run. Instead she shocked him by crossing the room, rounding the desk, and wrapping her arms quickly and tightly around his waist. She pressed her face against his chest, inhaling the scent that was pure Carlisle, and breathing out slowly as her eyes closed. He took a second longer to hold her and she could feel his fear and apprehension. So she decided to try and take that away by leaning up and drawing him into a kiss, which she felt him easily surrender to.

It was shorter and a bit more chaste than the others, but it was still wonderful and she was smiling as she pulled away. "Girl could get used to that," she said dreamily. "You spoil me."

His eyes were wide. "You're not afraid?" he asked in wonder, and she was delighted when she saw the pain leaving his eyes.

Her eyes grew tender and she shook her head. "Never," she confirmed. "I love you. The fact that you're a vampire doesn't change that. I question my intuition because I had no idea, but I'm not afraid." She grinned. "Besides, walking me into it is a much better way than suddenly becoming a wolf and leaping at me."

Carlisle's eyes went hard for a moment. "Believe me, I talked to him about that."

She clicked her tongue. "He would never hurt me."

"You and Bella must have had conversations when you were young about forgoing your self-preservation," he said dryly.

She giggled. "Well we grew up in a boring small town. What else is there to do besides riding motorcycles and cliff diving and becoming best friends with werewolves?"

He sighed in exasperation and she giggled again. "You just might be the first woman to give a vampire an aneurysm. Please never tell me about motorcycles and cliff diving."

While she had only ridden a motorcycle once before, when Jacob took her home a few nights ago, she had gone cliff diving plenty of times. She was never afraid of heights so as a ten year old, she was jumping off the highest point and laughing the whole way down. Charlie found her one day and yelled so loud that all of La Push could hear him, and then he dragged her back to her dad who yelled at her some more. After she was ungrounded, she did it all over again, and was just better at hiding it.

But she didn't tell him that, she could tell by the look on his face that he would _not_ enjoy that story.

"Or about the time that Jake and I stole Charlie's gun and shot out the a tire in my dad's truck?" He looked so horrified that she had to kiss it away and run her fingers through his hair. He still looked a bit angsty so she tugged him back to the couch and curled up with him. "Don't worry. I'm slightly smarter than that now."

" _Slightly_ ," he mumbled sarcastically and held her tight. After he calmed down from the image of her with a gun—honestly they hadn't been thinking when they did that because it was a heavy gun and she nearly got her foot instead—she managed to ask him some questions.

"How often do you...eat?"

"We can go a few weeks without anything, but those of us who choose to live with humans go more often."

"Is it hard being around humans without feeding from them?" She wasn't dumb, that's what vampires did, and while it didn't excite her, she knew she was safe and she knew that that's how the food chain worked.

But Carlisle frowned and shook his head. "My family is different. We only drink from animals. None of us want to be monsters and we refuse to become murderers to sustain ourselves. I knew from the moment I woke up and realized what I was that I didn't want to be like the others."

"When were you changed?" The question blurted out at the poor segue and she blushed. He, however, smiled.

"1663."

She's pretty sure her jaw hit the floor as he laughed fully at her. "So...I guess it's true that looks can be deceiving then?"

"Oh yes," he agreed. "Physically I still look the age I was turned, but I'm much older than I look."

"How old were you?"

"Twenty-three."

 _He was born in 1640,_ she thought. "I guess it's a good thing I've always liked older men." He laughed again at that and nuzzled her neck. "Is it hard for you?" He looked puzzled. "Being so close to me. I'm human and I know that, for example, it's hard for me to be around a pepperoni pizza without eating it, let alone kissing it."

He blinked. "Are you comparing yourself to a pepperoni pizza?"

"Well if the crust fits... C'mon, pepperoni is the most scrumptious and I know I'm damn delicious."

He blinked again and then burst out in laughter. "Oh, my sweet Abigail..." She was so proud of that laugh that she grinned widely. "You're very delicious, but no it's not hard for me. How else could I be a doctor? I trained very hard for a very long time, and human blood no longer effects me."

"I suppose that makes sense..." She paused. "But I'm still delicious?"

He chuckled and kissed her pulse point. "Baby, you're devine." He grinned. She giggled back and leaned her head to the side so he could kiss along her skin.

"I have another question," she murmured before he distracted her.

"Shoot," he mumbled against her skin and her eyelids fluttered.

"When there are vampires out there and girls who look like they're straight out of Vogue... Why did you pick me?" He froze. "I mean... Carlisle, you're beautiful. And I'm no Rosalie. I just... It's not that I don't believe you, but I'm still curious why you're with me and not someone..." She paused. "Someone more in your league."

He didn't say anything and she wasn't sure if it was because she said something wrong or he didn't know what to say so she pulled back a little. He was looking at her with melancholy and she frowned.

"You really don't know, do you?" he asked, his voice full of soft, sad wonder.

"Know what?" she murmured.

"How utterly breathtaking you are." Her breath caught and her eyes moistened. "You're beautiful, Abigail. Every part of you. Your delicious skin, your soft hair, those beautiful emerald eyes." Her heart clenched and her body swayed a little bit. He shook his head in disbelief and caught her before she swayed too much. "What _I_ don't understand, is how you don't see it." He sighed. "And I'm not just biased because you're my mate. Everyone knows how beautiful you are."

"Everyone?" she whispered, catching that first and then tilted her head some. "Mate?"

He nodded. "Everyone." He paused. "Even Jacob, though I know that's platonic." Her nose wrinkled up.

"Yeah, because otherwise ew."

He chuckled. "You have no idea how much it thrills me to hear you say that. For a moment there in the beginning, I thought I had competition."

She scoffed. "Please. Like there could ever be anyone for me but you."

His eyes softened and he kissed her again. But before it got too much, she broke it—for the first time—and pulled back some. "Mate?" she wondered again.

He nodded sheepishly. "Vampires mate for life. Has Jacob told you about wolves imprinting?"

She thought for a moment. "I think he said something in passing when he mentioned Sam and Emily, but nothing much more than that."

Carlisle nodded. "Well it's kind of like that. But with vampires it's not as instant as it is for the wolves. When a vampire finds their mate, they are lost to them. Devoted to them in every way. There's an overwhelming urge to not only take care of them, but provide and nurture them as well." He paused. "Plus we're extremely possessive and protective. It's incredibly hard for me to allow you around the others, even though I know you're mine and they won't hurt you." The words _"you're mine"_ had shivers racing down her spine and he smiled. "It's an instinctual thing. Most vampires hole up somewhere private for awhile to take care of their mate and allow those instincts to even out a bit. I don't have the opportunity to do that here, even though I want to whisk you away and growl at everyone who comes near you. Even Alice. I almost lost it when she hugged you." He shook his head.

"You've been feeling that since we met?" she murmured, fingers in his hair.

"Yes," he said without hesitation, something hiding there in his gaze that was gone a moment later. "But before you acknowledged this, it was easier to control, but just barely. Now that you've given yourself to me, it's harder." He paused and glanced away. "Since you're not a vampire, I can't make love to you, it's too dangerous." Her entire body went warm, shifting back to the beach dream, and went bright red a moment later. If he noticed that or how her heart stuttered or her breath caught, he didn't say anything. "But if that did happen, there would be no coming near you. I would be insufferable."

She slowly let out a breath and her fingers trekked through his hair again. She thought for a moment, running her words through his mind, and slowly she smiled. "What would you say if I said I feel all that, too?" His head snapped up, his eyes gazing at her in wonder. "I assume it's not as strong as you, I'm not a vampire. But I feel it. I don't like others coming near you. I don't want you out of my sight. I want to always feel you touching me."

"That's right," he whispered.

"Is that why I got sick?" she wondered. "It wasn't food or anything. It was being...there." She didn't go into more detail; she didn't need to. They both remembered the story and as it was, his eyes went black again and he growled low in his throat causing her to smile slightly and move more hair with her fingers until he calmed down.

"Yes," he hissed. "Your body was rejecting the male." He spit out the last word and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Good. I'm glad it has that reaction. Maybe next time I'm around Dr. Jones, I can throw up on him."

The tension eased and he laughed, nuzzling her neck and she instinctively tilted her head to the side for him. "If you do, please make sure I'm there to watch."

She giggled. "I promise." She kissed his jaw. "I have another question."

"Anything, sweetheart."

"Why would it be too dangerous for to make love?"

He froze and she felt his muscles bunch under her hands and she pulled back. She saw the black eyes and expected anger, but instead found immediate carnal hunger. She gulped as it went straight south and her breath wheezed out.

"I could hurt you," he finally said through a voice thick with hunger and her body rocked. She blushed as she felt the signs of his own arousal on her backside, but refused to acknowledge it. "I'm too strong. I could crush you. If I let go of my control for one moment..." He shook his head.

"We can't try?" she whispered.

He groaned softly with longing, pressing his face to her neck and shook his head. "I have control around blood, but not that. I've never made love to a human."

"Good," she growled out quietly, making him smile.

"I don't know if I could control myself, so we can't." He paused. "And recently we found out it's possible for a vampire male to get a human female pregnant. But the female's body isn't compatible and the human goes through intense pain and eventually dies or has to be turned." He paused again. "Just ask Bella."

She gasped and pulled back some. "Carlie." He nodded. She knew Bella was different and figured out she turned, but she never would've guessed Carlie was her biological daughter. But Abigail sighed sadly and shook her head. "It wouldn't matter anyway, though. I can't get pregnant."

He froze. "What?" he whispered. She nodded.

"I found out about ten years ago. Imagine being twelve years old and learning you'll never grow up to be a mom like you've always wanted." She sighed. "But I've learned to live with it now. Doesn't mean I don't want it, but I can't have it. So at least you won't have to worry about that." She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

He was silent for a moment, his eyes sad as he flickered over her face. "I'm so sorry, my love," he whispered, nuzzling her neck and rocking her gently as she shook her head.

"Don't be. It's not your fault, it's not my fault. Just how things happened." She shrugged. "And I understand about your reservations with your strength. I'm not going to push you, Carlisle, but if you decide you can... Well, I'm here. I want to." She smiled softly.

He let out a slow breath. "Believe me, I want to. But I won't risk you for anything, sweetheart. You're the most important thing in creation to me. I would give every ounce of venom, give my life and my soul, to keep you safe. There's nothing and no one I would put above you, especially my own pleasure."

"I'm sure it would be mine, too," she whispered, cheeks heating as she grew breathless at the thought of the beach dream. Her riding him... She nearly shivered, but managed to hold it back.

His chuckle was strained. "Maybe, sweetheart." He kissed her cheek. He had something to say and seemed to ponder it before casually saying, "Have you ever been with anyone?"

She knew what he meant and for a moment thought of teasing, but knew he wouldn't see it that way. It would only hurt him, and she knew fairly well that everything he said went for her as well. There's nothing she wouldn't do for him, nothing she wouldn't do to keep him safe and happy and unhurt.

"No," she finally whispered and he let out a breath of relief. "I've known my whole life that I was a girl who needed to be in love to give that up. And I knew I could only give it to the man that I knew would be my forever." She paused. "That's why, if you decide we can try, it's yours."

His eyes grew large and then filled with such love, adoration, and devotion she almost cried. "Oh, my sweet Abigail..." That's not the first time he said that, but it warmed her and she leaned in for a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter eighteen: 
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens (2)](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_seventeen-nineteen_second_chance/set?id=220361428)


	19. Family

**-Abigail-**

They stayed locked in that embrace for another few moments before Carlisle pulled away with a shaky breath. He leaned his forehead against hers and they stayed like that for a little while. She could tell he was trying to control himself even then and she loathed that she was the cause of it, so she lifted her hands to card through his hair, murmuring soft words of love and feeling the tension ease from his body. It was still there, but considering what he told her, she had a feeling that it would never ease, unless she was a vampire herself.

The thought almost made her gasp, but she held it back so he didn't alarm him. For a moment she was afraid, afraid of what something like that would mean. But she came up blank because that would mean she got to be with her friends and family—and most importantly, _Carlisle_ —for all eternity. What was there to think about? Where was the bad? But she couldn't say that to Carlisle right then, she had a feeling he wouldn't take it all that great, and she didn't want him pushing away or getting upset with her. But she knew it's what she wanted.

_I want to be a vampire._

"Are you okay?" she finally murmured and slowly he nodded, pulling back to look at her. Her fingers were still clutched in his hair and slowly she pulled them down, but his hand caught her wrist.

"Why do you do that?" he murmured. She frowned.

"Do you not like it?"

He shook his head vehemently. "No no, I do. I love it. It makes me so calm." That same flash was in and out of his eyes in a second. "But how did you know?"

She tilted her head to the side and softly shrugged. "I'm not sure," she admitted. "I just felt like that's what you needed. You were distressed and my body told me to try and calm you, make you happy and content, and I was doing it before I realized it." She paused. "Maybe it's the mating bond? Telling me that's what you need." He studied her some more as if seeing her for the first time, face full of wonder.

"I can't believe you feel all that," he murmured. "Humans never do."

"I'm special." She grinned.

He chuckled. "Well of course you are, darling."

"And I might have a slight obsession with your hair. It's so soft and silky." She hummed and ran her fingers through it some more before glancing at him, seeing his eyes closed in such a look of contentment she almost teared up again. "But mostly I want you calm and happy. I love your smile. I want to see it."

He smiled and she grinned happily as his eyes opened. "Perfect," she purred and leaned in to kiss him again.

The first person she spotted as she got downstairs was Emmett and she froze in her spot. She stopped so suddenly that Carlisle growled from behind her and yanked her behind him as if expecting danger, but she put her hand on his arm, the other hand going to his hair, and she nodded.

"It's okay," she murmured, though her hand slid down to his and gingerly she stepped towards the giant vampire. Despite his size, her knew knowledge of his kind, and what happened earlier, she felt safe there. She was just intimidated because clearly he was upset with her and she had no clue why. Carlisle was right behind her so she squeezed his hand for comfort even as Emmett looked at her sheepishly with a deeply apologetic look across his boyish features. He stood and Abigail raised a hand to Carlisle's hair as he let out a small growl.

"It's okay," she repeated.

"I won't hurt her, Carlisle," he said softly. "And I'm sorry about earlier. I found out something about someone I knew a long time ago, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." He looked so sincere and sorry that she couldn't help allowing her hand to slip from Carlisle's and draw the bigger man into a hug.

"Apology accepted," she said against his shoulder and he softly patted her back. She squeezed him for another moment, but knew better than to take too much longer and quickly went back to Carlisle's side, who had grown agitated when her touch withdrew from him, and her fingers went back to his hair for a moment. Emmett followed the movement, eyes troubled for a second, but finally smiled and sat, gesturing for them to do the same. Carlisle pulled her to a nearby chair and sat her on his lap.

Frankly she wanted to speak with Emmett about it alone and find out what happened, but she knew she couldn't. For starters, it wasn't her business. If he wanted her to know, he would've told her. And for second, there was no way she would be able to get out of Carlisle's grip let alone his sight to do so.

 _Baby boy,_ she thought again as she gazed at Emmett, wondering why the urge to call him that was so strong when he was like seventy years older than her, so she refrained, but just barely.

* * *

Most of the day was spent down there curled up in Carlisle's arms, her fingers alternating between his hair and the back of his neck. Nothing had upset up him so the hair stroking was purely because she wanted to, and she didn't miss the satisfied hum she received every time she did it. And she decided she would do it every moment of the day if she managed to get that noise from Carlisle. It was pure perfection and she was addicted to it.

The only time things got louder than just easy conversation was when Jacob came back. She sat up immediately, eyes wide with delight as the boy came into the room. His eyes caught hers in an instant and she saw many emotions flicker over his face: surprise, happiness, weariness, confusion, worry, and suspicion. She nearly wiggled in Carlisle's lap and as soon as he patted her hip in an okay, she was up and launching herself across the room into Jacob's arms.

"Jake!" she squealed and he easily caught her, his body heat a stark contrast to that of Carlisle and the rest and she jumped ever slightly, but quickly got used to it as Jacob picked her up, as usual.

"Bunny, you're awake," he sighed against her and she didn't see him squeeze his eyes shut and then open and send a silent "thank you" over her shoulder to Carlisle, who have a simple smile and nod. She didn't stay in the air for long, but that was fine as her body began to feel the loss of Carlisle's touch and so she instead dragged him closer and pushed him onto the coffee table in front of her before climbing back into Carlisle's lap and sighing in contentment.

"So," Abigail began, eyes narrowing a little as she pointed a stern finger at Jacob. "I understand them keeping vampires from me, but _you_?" She scoffed. "And here I thought you were a bad liar."

His eyes flew open wide and he glanced to Emmett at the side of them who simply shrugged before Jacob's gaze was back on her. For a moment he looked angry rather than shocked, but finally he cleared it from his gaze. "It wasn't mine to tell."

She huffed. "I know. Don't be sensible. Let me be irritated."

He cracked a smile. "Fine. But if you think it'll do anything, you're sadly mistaken. I mean you're like this big." He held his hand about two feet off the ground. Her eyes narrowed at him as his smile grew playful. "And you're human. What're you gonna do to me?"

"I have my ways, Jacob Black. Don't forget I know your father."

"What's he gonna do, ground me?"

"We'll see," she said mysteriously and turned her head away. He snorted because they both knew she had nothing as any secrets they had they already blackmailed each other with so it was pointless.

Jacob sighed and she looked over as his grin became a simple happy one. "I'm just glad you're okay. You nearly died on me." She felt Carlisle wince and her hand went for his hair. Jacob pointed a stern finger at her again. "Warn me next time so I can stop you before you pull that again."

She held up her free hand in surrender. "Fine, next time I'm about to fall in a coma, I'll call you up and let you know first so you can talk me out of it." Their answering grins were playful again, missing the looks the vampires flashed each other.

"Did you guys have plans today?" Jacob said, clapping his hands on his knees.

"Other than not moving from right here," she said, tapping Carlisle's chest and gazing up at him adoringly, catching his loving look and his lips in return. "Not a thing."

"Don't make me vomit," Jacob warned with a shiver. "But seriously, you won't go anywhere? I wanna show you something."

"Can he come?" she asked, gesturing to her love.

Jacob sighed. "God, I'm never gonna see you without him anymore, am I?"

She grinned. "Not if I can help it."

Jacob rolled his eyes and Carlisle chuckled lightly, face pressing to kiss her neck once.

"Well, it's down at La Push." His voice was uneasy and she felt Carlisle tense. She frowned and glanced between them, noticing her fingers were required in his hair again.

"So?" she prompted when no one said anything.

"Remember the legend," Carlisle said to her softly. Abigail frowned for a moment and it dawned on her, eyes widening.

"Wait, _you_ guys were the 'enemy clan'?"

Carlisle nodded.

"My great grandfather Ephraim devised the treaty. Things might be different now, but we haven't exactly talked about it."

"And we won't violate it if it still stands with the wolves. It would have to be discussed with the whole pack and the council."

"My dad, Sue Clearwater, and Old Quil," Jacob explained at Abigail's questioning glance. She nodded slowly.

"So until then, they can't go to La Push?" Jacob and Carlisle nodded while she let out a breath. Unease grew within her and she knew that while she wouldn't be getting sick around them—none of the Quileute boys ever would go for her that way, even if most of them weren't taken other than Jacob and Seth—she would have to go without Carlisle and that she just didn't know if she could do. The idea of returning to work was bad enough, and he would be in the same hospital. But being away from him outside of Forks...

She clutched at him as if it was already decided she was leaving, and he nuzzled at her neck, which made her heartbeat steady out. It was then she realized that did to her what her fingers in his hair did to him. It calmed her, centered her, made her think more clearly. It was more than just affection, it was Carlisle's instincts taking care of his mate. She snuggled against him deeper.

Finally she gave Jacob an apologetic smile and reached over to squeeze his fingers. "Rain check?" she murmured. "Maybe next week after work." Everything screamed _"no!"_ at her, instincts battling, but she has to do this for Jacob. She couldn't pick one or the other, she needed both. Deep down, she knew if she had to it would be Carlisle. It would always be Carlisle. But she didn't need to, and so she had to figure out ways to get back and forth between the two—assuming the treaty still stood—and not hurt Jacob. That was the last thing she wanted, but the idea of leaving Carlisle felt like a crushing in her chest.

Jacob frowned sadly, but he seemed to understand. He glanced over at the others for a split second before he gave her a melancholic smile. "I get it, Bunny. Don't apologize. Next week is fine. It's not going anywhere."

A smile broke out on her face when he turned his hand around to grip her fingers and once again, she was floored by the difference of Carlisle under her—even though he was warmer to her than the other Cullens now, she figured it was their mating bond—and then Jacob in her palm. She knew it was the difference between wolf and vampire. She giggled.

"What, sweet girl?" Carlisle asked her, voice full of his smile and he pushed her hair off her neck to have more room to nuzzle.

"Oh nothing, just my brother's a werewolf and my boyfriend's a vampire. I sound like I'm in some bad '70s horror movie."

Jacob snorted and rolled his eyes while Carlisle chuckled deeply, a sound that went directly through her body and clutched at her heart making it race.

"At least you're not alone. Before she was turned, I'm sure Bella could've understood you perfectly," Carlisle said.

"It's true," Bella said once she heard her name and stood up with Carlie to come closer. Carlie immediately crawled into Jacob's arms and Abigail's eyes narrowed for a moment, before looking at Bella as she sat next to Jacob. As she did, Carlisle's arms tightened a fraction and Abigail sent him a questioning look, which he just simply smiled at.

"Jake and I have been friends awhile and it felt like I had to choose. Things were much more tense with the packs than they are now, especially after I got pregnant. You're lucky, you don't have to choose." She decided not to say that it felt like it because she couldn't bring Carlisle down to La Push, but she knew that she could go and always come back. But she did feel lucky, mostly because of Carlisle, but everyone else, too. She had loved her parents, but she felt more at home there with them than she ever had before. She felt she belonged and her previous _I want to be a vampire_ thought came back to mind.

Suddenly Edward sighed. "No you don't."

Abigail looked over in confusion to see who he was talking to, and his eyes were on her.

"What?" she wondered.

"You don't want to be a vampire." Carlisle went rigid and Abigail blinked at him, her mouth opening as stunned surprise went through her. Fingers found Carlisle's hair, but most of her attention focused on Bella's husband.

"How did—"

"Carlisle didn't tell you?" he said, surprised. She shook her head and watched him move closer to stand behind Bella. "Some of us have gifts. Bella has a shield that protects her mind from attacks, and she can push it out to protects others." Her surprised eyes turned to her old friend who nodded. "Jasper is an empath. He can not only feel other's emotions, he can influence them as well. Alice can see the future. When you make a decision, she can see the outcome. If you change your mind, the vision changes. And me...I can read minds."

 _Oh god,_ she thought as she stared at him in horror and he grinned.

"All of them?" she wondered.

"Yes. Apart from Bella's."

She snorted. "Lucky."

Edward chuckled. "But I still stand by what I said. You don't want to be a vampire."

She frowned. "How do you know?"

"Because I am one and you don't want to be this."

She narrowed her eyes. "It wasn't a firm decision. But really, why _wouldn't_ I? Everyone I care about is here. Do you think I want to be stuck as a human and die in sixty years?" Carlisle hissed and her fingers went back to his hair.

"What about your roommate?"

She shrugged. "I love Beth, she's great—"

"Except when she springs surprise dates on you that make you vomit," Jacob cut in to point out. Growls from Carlisle received more gentle movements of her fingers in his hair.

Abigail glared at him. "You say that like it happens often." She sighed. "My point _is_ that she's great, but we've grown apart since moving here. I don't know, less people and less to do, but she has Rick now and I have you guys. Giving up her friendship—if that's what you're eluding to—is a small price to pay for having forever with the family I love."

It was silent after that and she looked at Carlisle who looked to be brooding over something and then to Edward and Emmett and all the others who seemed to be contemplating something. For a moment she wondered if she said something wrong, but Edward shook his head.

She sighed. "I think that'll get annoying real fast."

At least that broke the tension when Jacob and Emmett roared in laughter and Carlisle chuckled under her. Even Edward and Bella smiled and she just grinned, happy that the heavy stuff was over. Edward explained that he could choose to stay out of a mind, but he was focused on hers because everything was so new and he wanted to make sure she was okay. While she wanted to remain annoyed, that was sweet and so she let it go for the time being.

Soon after was lunch time and she ate quickly from her perch on Carlisle's lap and then she was taken back upstairs into what she knew then to be Carlisle's study. He shut the door and didn't let her down as he pulled her to the couch and sat down with her on his lap.

He tugged her even closer as soon as she was settled and pulled her into a small kiss. She smiled against his lips, turning her body towards him, cupping his cheeks as his hands tightened around her body. It felt so good to kiss him and it felt like it made all her weeks of heartbreak worth it. She would never forget the days leading up that kept her away from him, or the night where everything changed. She would go through that illness all over again if it brought her to him.

"I love you," she murmured as their lips parted, her fingers playing with the ends of his short blond hair and he smiled against her.

"I love you, too, my sweet Abigail," he murmured back, his thumbs stroking the apple of your cheek. "You're so beautiful. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I will spend my life proving to you that I'm worthy of your affection."

She smiled at him lovingly, eyes taking in his bright ochre eyes and the way the light made his golden blond hair shine. "Even if I had any choice in the matter, I would always choose you." He smiled and kissed her nose.

But his attention was diverted the next moment, head turning for the door and he frowned. "Edward needs to speak to me." He sighed. "Alone."

Immediately her heart stuttered and she shook her head, pressing herself to his chest. "Don't leave me," she whimpered.

His sigh was agonized and he pulled her face up to look into her eyes. He smiled lovingly again even though his eyes were pained and he kissed her again. "I will return soon, my darling. I won't be gone long."

She frowned, her hands having to be pried from his shirt as she was sat aside on the couch. His body and then his hands left her, slamming cold down in her body, her stomach twisting and heart stopping as he walked from the room and left her there. She knew it was silly, but everything in her body screamed for her to run after him. But she knew he needed his space and privacy so she forced herself to stay where she was.

Standing up, she started pacing, her eyes flickering over the books as she tried to distract herself. Soon, though, her eyes moved to the paintings and she slowly looked over them. She knew more about books than art, but she could still appreciate the beauty. Slowly she moved across the wall, and stopped right in front of the painting covered in black silk.

She knew she shouldn't look. There was a reason he has the painting covered, and it wasn't her place to look until he decided to show her. But she had to look, she just had to, and she had no idea why. It was calling to her and her feet had moved for it before she could stop them, her hand lifting and she hesitated right at the edge of the black silk. It was foreign to feel so overwhelmed by a painting she's never seen, but she held back tears, and slowly removed the silk veil.

She gasped, stumbling back against the dark wood desk, but she didn't even notice as that one peak was all it took. The silk veil fluttered to the ground as her back hit the desk and she slumped down, her eyes rolling into the back of her head and fluttering shut as she was assaulted with memory after memory, of her nearly two hundred years of life before this. Her first life as a human, then her second life as a vampire.

She was unable to control it, unable to stop it, her mind going blank except for the onslaught. It paralyzed her, made her comatose, and she didn't hear the frantic, devastated voice of Carlisle calling her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter nineteen:
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens (2)](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_seventeen-nineteen_second_chance/set?id=220361428)


	20. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Slight sexual content. Proceed with caution._ If you want to skip over it, the section will be marked with .x.x.x.x. before and after it. It won't have any plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. It's not enough to change the rating just yet, but that might happen in a bit. Thanks for reading, comments are love!

**-Carlisle-**

Carlisle hadn't felt good about leaving her there alone, but then Alice gasped and looked at him in horror. Immediately he stopped talking and ran upstairs, knowing if it could his heart would be pounding. The look on Alice's face told him all he needed to know, and he was at his study door in barely a second. He couldn't breath, fear and panic choking him as he shoved through the door to get to his mate.

The night before had been one of the best of his life, he finally got the love of his existence back into his arms. He had been foolish to think that nothing could go wrong now that they were together, but she was human still so he knew that things could go wrong easier than they had before. When Edward said she wanted to turn, every instinct was rejoicing that she wanted to join him in eternity, but he still didn't want to damn her. He should've asked her the first time, though if he ever said that to her afterwards she would've been extremely upset with him, and he was young enough to not know better. However, he wasn't positive anymore if they were damned and soulless. If they were, how did she come back to him?

But that could come later, because he yanked open the door to watch as she fell to the ground unmoving, her body so silent and still other than the shallow breath and beating heart. Even with that, it almost felt like she was dead because he could feel nothing coming from her. No emotion, no life, and he was terrified.

"Abigail!" he called loudly, his voice full of fear and devastation as he quickly went for her, bringing her into his lap. She was so limp that he checked her pulse and breathing even though he could hear it anyway. " _Abigail_! My love, please. Please wake up, please... Sweetheart, what's wrong? Wake up!"

His voice, he knew, had carried downstairs because Emmett and Jacob stood in the door, both almost as fearful as him. Other than Carlisle, they were the two she was closest to, and so they moved in next to her quickly, only Emmett paused as Jacob kneeled down to check her vitals same as Carlisle, though the blond knew that the wolf could hear them anyway. A hissed curse drew Carlisle and Jacob's attention up to Emmett and immediately Carlisle knew what caused it. His heart sunk and his breath caught. He hadn't seen the painting since 1984 when Alice first helped him cover it. While he had the woman in his arms, it didn't help the searing agony that coursed through him.

"When did you paint her?" Jacob asked, brow furrowing.

"1873."

The wolf stayed silent and ever so gently, Carlisle swept her up into his arms. Emmett and Jacob knew there would be no touching her. She was in a vulnerable state and if anyone came near her, they would have a very protective Carlisle at their throats. He took her back into the room she had been in before, and she didn't make a single noise as she laid there, her breathing and beating heart the only noise in the room as they all studied her, the doctor in Carlisle warring with the beast to figure out what was best.

"Did she hit her head?" Jacob finally muttered and Carlisle slowly shook his head.

"No. Alice had a vision and I knew it was her. But she just collapsed and I think it was because of the painting. She must have looked and..." He trailed off because he didn't know where his thoughts were leading him.

"Maybe the memories came back," Jacob suggested with a shrug. He stood on the other side of her, posture tense as he crossed his arms over his chest. Carlisle could see he wanted to comfort her and he clenched his teeth, but gave him a firm nod and the wolf looked grateful. He sat down and slowly pushed some pieces of hair off her face. Carlisle was surprised at how the possessiveness was less with Jacob, but perhaps even his beast knew that Jacob loved her like a sibling and not romantically, and that Jacob could take care of her as much as he could. And he also knew he and Jacob could never take the place of one another in her life.

"C'mon, Bunny, I know you're in there. I know you want to wake up. Whatever you're seeing... It's okay, we're all here, and we love you." Carlisle had never heard the young man's voice so pained and he actually reached over with a free hand to clasp his shoulder, but pulled away when brown eyes focused on him.

Carlisle nodded for a moment and then checked her vitals again. If she didn't wake up soon, they would need to get fluids in her so her body didn't give out on her. But he hoped to god she didn't test that, because he didn't think he could survive if those emerald hues never opened.

"Come back to me, my sweet Abigail..."

* * *

**-Jossund, Norway 1779-**

**-Abigail-**

The coast shone brilliantly with sunlight as boats bobbed out on the water before them. The humans on the boats were too far away to see the vampires sitting in the shore, and the wind was blowing the wrong way to allow the fairly newly turned Abigail the opportunity to catch their scent.

While she was doing much better as the days went, they still stuck fairly close to the outskirts of cities and the trees as now and then, she had more trouble than she wanted to admit. Her husband was so strong in his endeavors, only growing stronger, while she felt like she was failing. He told her time and time again that she was just turned three years ago and he over a hundred, but she couldn't help but compare herself to him, and feel the dreaded feeling as if she were holding him back.

"Come, you must see this cabin. It is beautiful." His calm, quiet, serene voice brought her out of her depressed thoughts and had her turning for him. She loved it there, but she didn't want him to have to hide in rural places just for her. He worked so hard to be able to endure humanity, and she was making him take so many steps back—

"My love," he whispered and his arms had wrapped around her while she got caught in her mind trap again. "I know what you are thinking. Please, do not. I am here because I wish to be. I love you, and I would spend centuries in this cabin if it meant I could be with you. Please, come inside and as can be together, okay?" She pressed herself against his chest and let out an unneeded breath, before giving him a shaky smile. She wasn't quite sure if she could allow herself to believe it, but she wanted to desperately. And she knew she would give him anything.

"Yes, my dear," she whispered, rejoicing in the look of joy that crossed his face, and allowed him to tug her inside.

* * *

**.x.x.x.x.**

**-London, England 1873-**

"You must sit still, ma'am."

The artist's exasperated voice didn't calm the vampire down, in fact, she just giggled harder. While it was very easy for vampires to sit still, Abigail wasn't like most vampires. For one thing, it was easier to act human as she never drank human blood and so therefore had much of her humanity left. She was almost as good as her husband at resisting the scent of human blood, something she took much pride in because she knew her husband was the strongest man in existence. He didn't have any help with weening himself away from humans and onto animals. Her heart ached at the thought of him spending decades locked away deep in the forests of England in an attempt to control his thirst. By the time she met him, he was already very controlled, even though he still hungered for it. But by the late eighteen hundreds, it didn't even register in his mind and she was ever so grateful that she was mated to him because it made it that much easier when she was turned not to become a monster herself.

As it was, her humanity sparkled in her topaz eyes as she grinned and fought to keep herself from giggling again. It was difficult, though, because Carlisle was doing absolutely nothing to help her out with her task. He stood to the side of the artist, his own eyes alive and beautiful with amusement as she tried to morph her face back into one of serenity. The human couldn't hear the words that Carlisle was saying quick and quiet under his breath; human ears were much too fragile for that. But if he had, she was sure he would've been very flabbergasted that Carlisle was saying such things in public. As it was, she was glad the human sense of smell was much lower as well because she was disguising her arousal with amusement.

"You, my husband, are a wicked man."

"My apologies, my dear Abigail, however you knew that when you married me."

"I had no idea you were so forward."

"We have had almost a hundred years together. I have no idea why you are surprised at this now."

She giggled again and earned another exasperated look so she forced herself into a statue, even as Carlisle continued to murmur all of his filthy words. She was glad, and not for the first time, that she couldn't blush.

It took another hour of sitting still and enduring his words before the artist was finished and Carlisle moved himself forward to look. His arms were locked behind his back and he looked over it carefully, as carefully as he would've her face, and held out a hand to beckon her closer. She went immediately and without comment, pressing herself against his side, and peaked around his arm to see the painting.

"No piece of artwork can compare to my Abigail's beauty," he said in a contemplative voice. The artist went red and looked almost enraged, but Carlisle's look quieted him. "However, you did a fine job at capturing her. This will do lovely. Thank you." He pulled a small bag with many coins in it that he handed over.

The artist snatched it up, looking inside, eyes widening as he looked back. Carlisle merely smiled and allowed one of the artist's apprentices to wrap it in fine linen to be stored in the Cullens' carriage to take home. Knowing Carlisle, the payment was probably three times that discussed and she was ever so proud once again to call him hers.

He helped her into the carriage and climbed in after her, sitting next to her and calling to the driver, who was also human.

Abigail leaned up to run her fingers through his hair and kiss him adoringly, his fingers caressing her cheek before he pulled away to nuzzle her neck. Both purred and hands wandered, only pausing long enough once they arrived home so they could enter and take the painting to the room that contained the rest of Carlisle's collection. It was hung up and she smiled, pressing to his side.

"I have no idea why you wished a portrait of me when you could have something much more beautiful."

Carlisle hissed and tugged her to his front, his eyes blazing. "You speak blasphemy, wife," he growled. "There is nothing on this earth that can compare to your beauty. You stagger me, my lovely Abigail."

"And you flatter me, husband." She paused. "But why of me? You already have the real article. Why should you need a portrait?"

"If I were to lose you—" His voice suddenly anguished, his look tortured, but he stopped as she put a finger over his lips.

"But you shall not," she whispered, leaning closer. "You will always have me, Carlisle. Nothing can ever take me away from you. I love you."

He groaned in longing and lifted her to him then, kissing her urgently. "I love you, too," he growled raggedly against her lips.

Then he took her, lifted her skirts and pushed down his trousers, pressing her against the wall and making her cry out as he filled her over and over again, growling into her neck and completing her once more as she sighed her bliss into his neck.

**.x.x.x.x.**

* * *

**-Minneapolis, MN 1955-**

Abigail huffed. "Why have we not seen this nomad yet?" she demanded as she stepped over yet another pile of rubbish on the ground, her nose wrinkling at the stench and avoided touching the heel of her pumps in the rot.

While it wasn't as if she were tired, she was frustrated that they couldn't find what they were looking for. This nomad had killed every night for the past two weeks, two or three people a night. Humans, of course, took notice and were starting to blame the work of a serial killer, but the coven knew the truth. While the Volturi were planning on stepping in any day, they knew they couldn't let anybody else die and so they set out to try and find this nomad themselves. They were going to ask him to leave, and if he didn't, they would take care of him. Carlisle loathed the idea, ever the pacifist, but even Abigail talked him into taking the necessary step if needed. The nomad couldn't be allowed to continue his actions.

Carlisle watched her steps and chuckled softly, his arm around her waist tightening and helping her over the garbage that he simply stepped in.

"I would think it wouldn't be too much longer," he said. "We've caught his scent more than once tonight. He's out here somewhere."

She huffed. "Well I wish his scent would lead us to a grizzly bear," she muttered earning another laugh from him.

"I'll take you hunting tomorrow."

"Good. I'm getting thirsty." While they knew they had no worry that she would drink from a human, even stronger at resisting now than she had ever been before, it was safer all around if she fed. The last thing she wanted to do is slip up after nearly two hundred years. The disappointment that would surely come from Carlisle would be unbearable.

"Don't fret, my dear. I'll make sure you drink." Carlisle smiled softly, tugging her towards a random alleyway. They had planned to go a couple more blocks down, but she felt his need to kiss her right then and there and at least the alley offered somewhat of a protection.

The only light came from a burning barrel that homeless humans had left going, but there was no sign of them. For a moment she noticed that was odd, but then her back was pressed against the wall and he was growling into her mouth. His growls always did things to her, things he well knew, and she melted into him, gloved hands reaching around to clasp at his neck as he pressed against her.

Their kiss was deep and desperate and she knew he would never take her right in the alley—her sounds belonged only to him—but that didn't mean she couldn't wish, couldn't hope for the little bit of excitement that went with the taboo subject of being caught. But she also knew if they were, and someone saw her in such a way, Carlisle wouldn't hesitate to show his beast whether human or not.

Too focused on each other, warning bells didn't ring for them until Carlisle was tossed away roughly and Abigail was grabbed around the throat. Carlisle's dangerous growl would forever be engrained in her mind and she struggled to get away, but the grip never faltered. Either she had seriously been lacking in defense training, or this nomad was simply older and stronger than she.

A chuckle reached her ear and Carlisle stopped in his tracks, eyes black with fury and more than a bit of terror as he took in the situation before him. She struggled again and yelped as her body was pulled flush against the creature that held her, another familiar growl reaching her ears. She could tell even of she wasn't looking that Carlisle was all beast now. She was in danger, the threat real and dangerous, and since this creature was a vampire, he would stop at nothing to get her free.

"How quaint," the nomad said in a voice sleazy with amusement and contempt. "I'm so glad I never mated. Makes the world much more... _annoying_." He chuckled and sniffed at her throat making her wince and Carlisle to take a step forward, but the nomad yanked her back a step. "I don't think so, big guy. You see, you've been messing up my hunting grounds. I can smell you all over and it's rather unappetizing. But I finally figured out a way to get you off my trail." He smirked and squeezed tighter and, although he couldn't actually suffocate her, she still whimpered. Fear pulsed through her and her alarmed eyes lifted to Carlisle.

She had never seen him more feral in all their life together. Rage and terror had blackened his eyes. Breath came out in quick snorting bouts, and his hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides. He was trembling and she knew if she wasn't standing there, her body being used as a shield for the nomad behind her, he would've already attacked. As it was, he wouldn't risk her life by charging, and yet she saw how torn he was as leaving her there also risked her life. She could see regret and guilt and hopelessness shimmering with his rage and terror, and she longed to run her fingers through his hair, longed to comfort him and keep her promise of never leaving him.

"So let her go and kill me," Carlisle finally said and her eyes opened wide in horror. She started to shake her head, started to argue, but the nomad shook her again and she whimpered.

"Why would I do that? _You_ are my threat here, not her. I want to hurt you the way you've been hurting me as you've mucked up my hunting grounds. Seems only fair that I take something you want, doesn't it? Since you've taken what I want."

"Please," Carlisle begged. "Please, I'll do anything."

The nomad shrugged. "Too little, too late."

Everything next moved too quickly for Abigail to understand until it was too late. The nomad leaned down and suddenly a white hot branding iron of pain went through her. She opened her mouth to scream, a small sound escaping, but it was drowned out by the sound of metal being ripped apart.

She couldn't move. She couldn't blink or speak or breathe. She heard something heavy hit the ground as Carlisle's eyes flashed suddenly and his agonized roar filled the air.

And she would never ever forget that noise as it burned her ears, permeating every part of her body.

Or...it would've, if she still had it. The nomad's sick laugh met her ears and she watched helplessly as Carlisle fell to his knees. Footsteps appeared in the alley and she recognized Edward and Alice, but it was too late. She was flying through the air and landed in something that licked at her face, hot and burning.

Oh god, the burning.

She felt herself burn as her essence faded into nothingness, the sound of her beloved's agony the last thing she thought of.

* * *

**-Forks, Washington 2007-**

The feeling of burning echoed through her body, and she realized it wasn't the first time she had felt it. Before her death, the last time she felt such an agonizing pain was as Carlisle's venom worked through her blood and changed every inch of her into a vampire. That time she remembered screaming and writhing, barely conscious enough to understand that she was alive and not burning in the fiery pits of eternal damnation. Because it had ended only three days later and she woke to her angel standing strong and pained beside her.

Her angel was the same man who had the painting of her made almost a century after they found each other. He was the same man who took her on that beach so many times. He was the same man who asked her opinion of changing Edward. Then Rosalie, Emmett, and accepting Alice and Jasper into the family. He was the man whose horrified, terrified, anguished face she watched as she was killed right before his eyes.

He was the man she adored and loved more than anything in all of creation.

In 1753, Abigail Margaret Goodwin was born to Richard and Mary Goodwin in the heart of Wilmington, Delaware. She was an only child and her mother loved her very much, but her father was a cold man who loved nothing and no one other than wealth. When her mother died from smallpox, it was up to Abigail to become the lady of the house. She cooked and cleaned and took care of her father in ways no ten year old should have to. But Abigail grew up a beautiful young girl, however she turned away any suitor that came along. Her father, as a physician, was wealthy, however he wished to be wealthier. So when Mr. Howard Drake came along and offered twice her dowry, her father accepted. Mr. Drake was twice as old as her, and so at twenty-two in the first week of 1776, she ran off.

Abigail remembered the rest from her dream, because that's when she met Carlisle and became his mate for eternity. She remembered every moment of their time together, remembered every time they made love, every kiss. She remembered moving from country to country, city to city as they settled as long as they could in one place and then moved on once it became too hard for them to keep their cover story. She had married him two months after she had changed and it was difficult because the priest was, of course, human and she was still a newborn. But Carlisle's hands tight on hers and the resolve to never disappoint him made it easy to keep her teeth away from the human. And the black of her eyes only slightly scared the priest while the red surely would've sent him running.

She remembered sitting for her painting. She remembered the year on the island in France. She remembered finding Edward, Rosalie, Emmett. She remembered Alice and Jasper finding them. And she remembered her death, the nightmare she had since she was going expanding and making itself known. She remembered it all, and knew that these weren't dreams, these were memories of the other her she spoke of with Edward.

Part of her knew she should be scared, after all she's was a vampire who died and came back to life. None of them had any clue that was possible, they all thought they had no souls, but she was proof that things weren't always as simple as black and white. Plus, she could never be scared of Carlisle. He was the center of this, because he was the center of her world. Everything she is and everything she was is because of that beautiful man. She owed him everything and she was glad that it was her that night instead of him that wound up succumbing to the nomad's kill. He was important, so much more important than her, and she couldn't believe she found him again, that she got the chance to come home.

"Carlisle," she murmured in her sleep, unaware of the commotion the simple word caused. But she still slept, trying to comprehend the memories and put them in the right order.

Only then, once she flashed through all one hundred and seventy-nine years of her life with Carlisle, did she start to waken. Twitches of her fingers, twitches of her arms. There was something calling to her, begging her to open her eyes and she knew immediately it was the call of her mate. Of course she would wake up. _Silly man,_ she thought. She would always come when he called for her.

Struggling ever so slightly, with a simple flutter of delicate lashes, Abigail Margaret Goodwin finally opened up her eyes and woke up.


	21. Complete

**-Abigail-**

She winced as the moonlight from the window hurt her eyes. She blinked away the hazy cloud of sleep that had covered her and grew confused as the room darkened. It took her a second to realize the drapes were being closed and she let out a shaky breath, trying to get her eyes to focus. Everything in her mind was all jumbled as she worked out what happened in the past and what made her wind up laying where she was.

 _I was posing for a painting... No, that's not right. I was_ looking _at it, here in 2007. It was painted in 1873 by Josef Almond._ She allowed that puzzle piece to fall into place and she blinked again as she stared up at the white ceiling above her. She remembered seeing the painting and passing out as all her dreams and nightmares and suspicions became reality. It seemed she was out for awhile because it had been daylight when she had fainted and she felt ridiculous that she couldn't even stay conscious for a few memories. Of course, there were a lot of them, nearly two hundred years worth, and she supposed she understood. But that didn't mean she liked it.

And after that, after remembering what it was like to be a vampire, the ache in her lungs and the pounding in her chest confused and frustrated her. _Just go away_ , she thought irritably to them.

" _Abigail_."

Oh. The voice had been speaking this whole time, and her hand searched out before she even told it to move. Fingers found silky strands of hair and she heard a sharp intake of breath as she slowly looked to the source.

The man literally of her dreams, her creator and savior, lover and partner, sat there with a ragged madness in his deep black eyes. The look on his face matched that of the night she died and she frowned, fingers running slowly down the side of his head to cup his cheek. He let out a breath and brought up a hand to hold her there, eyes falling shut as if he were given a precious gift.

"Abigail..." he breathed, voice cracking and he nuzzled into her palm.

"Didn't I always tell you that I would never leave you, love?"

His eyes snapped open and up to hers so fast her human mind didn't comprehend it, but she knew then that the speed of a vampire was unlike any other. She also knew how strong they were, and she knew how they were created.

But that barely connected as a thought in her mind as she stared at the wonder and agony on his face, his eyes desperately searching hers and she slowly gulped as her lips parted to let out a shallow, shaky breath. Her heart was picking up and she knew he could hear both rather easily, which frankly now made her a bit embarrassed and her cheeks fanned red.

"Abigail—"

She smiled softly, slow and tender and full of a devotion like no other to her mate, the man she wanted to marry as soon as possible. The thought of not being his wife anymore, of not having him as her husband... She couldn't bear it and her heart constricted with pain.

"I remember it all," she whispered. "I felt like I relived it." She sighed. "The painting was made by Josef Almond in England in 1873. We hung it in our cottage and made love underneath it. In 1918, in Chicago, I remember you coming home to me, concerned and pained when you told me of Elizabeth Masen who wanted you to save her son Edward. In 1933, you told me of Rosalie who was dying in the streets of Rochester and you had to save her. In 1935, Rosalie brought Emmett to us after he was mauled nearly to death by a bear. In 1950, Alice and Jasper joined us after she saw us as a coven." She paused and her eyes grew misty as she took in his ever changing expressions. "In 1776, we married two months after you changed me, and it was difficult because I wanted to drink the priest, but your touch grounded me. I remember every kiss you bestowed upon me, every moment of making love to you." She paused again and sniffed. "And in 1955, I remember being killed by a nomad in an alley in Minneapolis. I remember your face, I remember burning—"

"Stop!" he begged through a hoarse moan and he stood, turning away from her and she saw his shoulders trembling and knew that if he could cry, he would be. She slowly sat up, feeling her body more at ease and stronger than she ever had before. Only a tug and a sharp pain on her arm made her hiss and pause, looking down to see an IV in her vein. Carlisle was there in an instant as soon as he heard her pain and made a quick work of the needle before his anguished eyes found hers.

"You needed fluids," he murmured as way of explanation. She frowned and he looked down. "You were asleep so long, we thought we were going to lose you."

"How long?" she whispered.

He sighed raggedly and reached up to tug at his unruly hair, and she moved his hand to replace it with hers. Immediately his body relaxed.

"A week."

Her eyes widened and she paused, stunned. "A week?" she squeaked, causing him to look up at her. She shook her head. "Couldn't be. I was just in your study—"

"A week ago." His face became pained again. "You fainted after you saw the painting. But everything was normal, your vitals... Everything. I knew the hospital couldn't help, so I kept you here with me." He growled softly. "Safe."

Her fingers moved in his hair again. She glanced down and saw she had on some pajamas she definitely didn't remember being in, and went a little red as she realized someone changed her, and she could only hope it was Carlisle or Alice. Not that he would've let anyone see her like that, of course.

"I know I'm safe," she whispered. "I'm with you."

"I let you die." His face fell and he pressed against her shoulder where she continued to stroke his hair soothingly, but it didn't seem to do the trick as he whimpered. "I watched that nomad tear your head off and burn you. I didn't save you."

"You tried," she whispered. "I remember you begging." She paused. "I remember thinking that I hoped the nomad didn't give in. The world needed you, not me."

He moaned in agony. "Please don't say that, Abigail. If you know what that did to me..."

"I do," she whispered. "I can feel it." And she did, the sharp pain that she felt everywhere in her body, infecting her to her soul. It twisted and gnawed and choked her until she could barely breathe and she felt like she wanted to die a hundred times over. _He felt this for fifty years_ , she thought sadly.

"It's me who should be apologizing." His head snapped up and his eyes blazed, fully ready to argue to his fullest extent, but her finger fell over his lips. "Hush, love. I promised that you would never lose me. But you did, and I'm so sorry that I broke my promise."

"Don't you dare apologize for that," he growled around her finger. He stood and for a horrible moment she thought he was going to walk out, but instead he climbed into bed with her and she eagerly clambered onto his lap where she snuggled into his chest, clutching at the cotton of his shirt. "That will never be your fault. I don't want to ever hear another apology from you."

Her lips parted, but she slowly nodded and pressed against him again. She would always blame herself, but if he didn't want to hear her words, she wouldn't say them.

"I love you," she murmured. She heard him sigh shakily.

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

They stayed like that for another hour, neither talking, but just content with being there together. But then the humanness of her current situation made itself known as she realized she had to use the bathroom, and her stomach growled in hunger. She peaked up at him sheepishly and he was simply smiling at her. She realized then that hint of something in his eyes, the glimmer she had seen before, was gone. Perhaps it was the ghosts haunting him from keeping this a secret. Part of her knew she should be angry—it was a huge secret to keep—but she couldn't bring herself to it. She was starved for him. She ached in growing agony as she was feeling every one of those fifty years they were apart. And she never planned on letting him go again.

He reached over and shut off the IV drip, unhooking the tube from her arm. His eyes flickered to hers and she nodded, hissing as the needle was pulled from her vein. He hissed, too, and brought her arm up to kiss and soothe, tongue flickering over it and a wave of heat crashed into her, but she ignored it as he put a bandage over the small puncture in hopes to flow the small pinprick of blood that rose to the surface. He kissed it gently and another swell of heat hit her, and she screamed at herself to get it together. But she couldn't help it; she remembered turning simple touches like that into day-long sessions where it was the two of them worshipping each other in bed. It made her realize why she was repulsed by other men, why she never gave away her virginity. It belonged to Carlisle, just as it had back in 1776. He was her husband, official or not anymore, and he was the only one she wanted to touch her in such a manner. It also have her great satisfaction to remember she took his on their wedding night of 1776 as well.

 _Mine,_ she snarled to herself.

Pushing those thoughts away for now, she let him help her to the bathroom. Her legs, surprisingly, didn't feel the least bit wobbly, but she knew he wouldn't be letting her by herself for a very long time. The time for her to use the bathroom and shower quickly was enough, and after she dressed, she was in his arms once more. She paused only long enough to pull her hair up into a messy, damp bun before he led her downstairs.

She was actually nervous as he stepped with her into the great room and their family appeared. Tears pressed her eyes and fell silently as she flickered her gaze to each one, and she could tell they knew. Her smile was shaky and she gripped Carlisle's hand tightly. It's as if she were finding them again, even though she saw them a week ago. _Really, a week?_

At the edge of the group, over between Jacob and Rosalie, was Emmett. Her heart fluttered and she remembered that his own mother had died when he was six during childbirth with his sister. He had always been close to her and was devastated when she died. Apparently Abigail had reminded him of her and he clung to her, even after he was no longer considered a newborn, and she took him in and guided him like he was her actual son. She loved them all, but that bond she had with him was something she never felt before, something different than the one she had with Carlisle; it was the bond of a mother and her child.

Her eyes grew tender and she tilted her head to the side as she reached up to wipe away her tears. "Hi, Baby Boy."

His lips parted in shock and she heard the breath punch out of him. If any of them had doubts, they surely didn't now. Emmett was next to her a second later and he swept her up into a hug, her feet dangling like always, and her arms tightened as much as they could around his shoulders. She felt Carlisle's hand still on her back which meant he needed her to be there as much as she needed him, but she welcomed this hug from Emmett with her whole heart as she buried her face in his neck.

"Hi, Mom," he croaked and she smiled adoringly into his shoulder.

She was going to apologize for leaving, but remembered Carlisle's words, so instead she said, "I missed you."

He let out a noise cross between a growl and a whimper. "I missed you, too."

She rubbed his back lovingly and whispered some more words to him before he slowly put her back down. She was glad Carlisle didn't try and interfere; she had no idea how much she needed that, and she had to wipe some more tears away before she reached up to cup Emmett's cheeks. He, too, looked like he would cry if he could, but desperately wanted to stop it. Her heart clenched as she looked at her youngest child, tears prickling his eyes, and she desperately held them back as she smiled.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered, her thumb running over his cheek bone. He softly smiled, his eyes lighting up, and she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

After that she was passed around from one to the other, even getting kind words from Bella, who of course she had never met in her previous life. At the end was Jacob and she froze as she saw the way his eyes narrowed.

"What?" she asked self-consciously.

"Are you still... _you_? I mean...is my Bunny still in there?"

She heard a warning noise from Carlisle at the _"my"_ term, but she and Jacob ignored it.

Instead she scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid."

His eyes lit up and he broke into a grin, lifting her up and spinning her as she giggled. "There's my Bunny!" Another warning sound from Carlisle and Jacob rolled his eyes.

"I didn't forget who I am now, Hulk, I just remembered who I was before. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, but—" He was stopped by a shove from Edward who apparently caught his thoughts and didn't look happy. Jacob simply glared and then muttered, "Never mind."

Abigail frowned. "Would you all stop treating me like I'm going to break? I'm fine."

"Says the girl that spent a week in a coma," Emmett said and her glare made him shut up and grin.

"Don't think I can't find a way to put _you_ in a coma."

Emmett roared with laughter. "Oh, Mom's back alright." He jumped over the back of the couch to lay on it and she gave him an aggravated glare.

"Doesn't give you an excuse to act like a heathen," she muttered which simply caused more laughter and a sigh from her.

Carlisle took the opportunity then to take her back and she willingly went into his arms, curling against his chest with a happy, content sigh and felt like she was floating as she was pulled to a chair and settled in Carlisle's lap.

She watched everyone for a few minutes, her smile never leaving as she put her head back against his shoulder. _My family,_ she thought with a sigh, and it was the happy beat of her heart that had her smile falling. She was human now, she wouldn't be able to be with them for very long before she left them again. What would happen to them then? She knew Carlisle couldn't survive it a second time. Frankly she was surprised he did before. Not because she didn't think he was strong, but because she knew she would never have survived if he had been the one killed. She knew what losing a mate felt like. She could feel it in him even then while they were together, in each other's arms with her memories back.

Once things settled down a bit, she took a breath and sat up, a smile back on her face as she tried to keep the mood light.

"So," she started, voice raising above the noise which quickly dissipated. "About this pesky human business... What should we do about that? Because I'm kind of over it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter twenty-one:
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens (3)](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_twenty_one-twenty_two/set?id=220361641)


	22. Happy Valenti— Birthday!

**-Abigail-**

The whole family had split into sides as soon as the question locked in everyone's mind. Clearly they knew what she was asking and there was a loud silence before the bickering began. Abigail sat off to the side in the chair, Jacob next to it on the floor, and they quietly watched the argument. Even Carlisle had gotten up to put in his two cents, though he lingered close enough to Abigail that his fingers could touch her shoulder or hair.

Alice and Emmett were for her turning as they wanted her back in the family completely as she should be. Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper were against it because they didn't want to end her life when she had another chance at being human. Carlisle and Bella were torn as they weren't sure what they wanted, though the latter of the two didn't seem to want to get involved at all, not that anybody blamed her.

"They usually like this?" Jacob asked her quietly, not breaking through the sounds of the bickering.

Abigail sighed. "Only on the days where the earth rotates." Jacob snorted and she sent him a smirk.

"Do you really want to damn her like the rest of us when she has this new chance at being human?" Edward said angrily, his face set in a grim line as Carlisle's hand tightened ever so slightly on her shoulder.

"Don't you think that should be _her_ decision?" Alice growled, hands tight on her thin hips.

But they just let them go at it until a growl from Carlisle broke through the loud voices and they all looked at his aggravated face. Abigail reached for his hand and clung to it as he sat on the edge of the chair.

"The final decision is mine and Abigail's. We will discuss it later." But Abigail couldn't help but think, _I don't think they want me anymore. It's like I'm still dead to them._ Edward's wince told her that he heard, and wouldn't meet her eyes. She frowned. _Sorry, Edward_. She forced the thoughts away even as she couldn't help that they came to her. It hurt, it really did, to hear arguments against her joining them again. True, it wasn't a light topic, and they did make some sense, but she couldn't help making it personal.

But for the night, the matter was done. Carlisle pulled Abigail up and towards the kitchen where Bella followed and quickly begun to make her some food. It was about five AM at that time, and it was Wednesday so theoretically she could go to work, but she didn't like that idea one bit.

Turning to him, she slid over into his lap where he wrapped around her easily and without complaint as he spoke quietly with Emmett who had followed them. She had a feeling he would be sticking close from now on, and she found that she didn't mind one little bit. It actually made her smile.

But it seemed her troubled mind drew Carlisle's attention as Emmett waved a hand in front of her face and gestured to the eggs and bacon in front of her.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Carlisle murmured, nuzzling into her neck and immediately she relaxed, head tilting to the side.

"I don't want to go to work," she mumbled.

He shook his head. "I took you out on medical leave this week." She looked up quickly and he smiled adoringly, tucking a kick of escaped hair behind her ear. "I also backdated it to the days you missed last week so they can't come down on you for it. You could probably also get disability pay once they read my report. But I didn't know when you would wake and if I didn't do medical, they would ask too many questions."

Slowly Abigail relaxed and she smiled up at him adoringly. She leaned up for a small kiss that could've very well have gotten deeper if Emmett hadn't cleared his throat in a disgusted matter.

"Dude, quit. I _don't_ wanna see my parents making out."

Abigail giggled as Carlisle smirked and she turned to start in her food, not moving from Carlisle's lap.

* * *

Monday came far too early for her after spending the rest of the week at the Cullen house. The subject of her changing hadn't come up again, but she knew it wasn't over. She also knew Carlisle couldn't stop thinking about it, the same as she knew she wouldn't give it up. He was arguing with himself and by his silences, she could tell that he was no closer to a solution, and that's the only reason she didn't bring it back up.

She groaned as Carlisle woke her with tender kisses pressed along her neck and shoulders and while she wanted to slip back into sleep, she knew that she had to get herself around enough to head home. She had no scrubs with her at Carlisle's, so she was going to go back, shower and change, and head into work. The day without Carlisle would be brutal. After her little memory dump, she knew that not a single day went by that she wasn't in his presence for the whole time they were together. Having that change now seemed like sacrilege.

"No," she mumbled into the soft pillowcase. "If I get up, that means I have to leave you and go home, and I'm not ready for that."

He gave a silent laugh against her skin, body shaking lightly, and he moved up to her ear where he blew lightly and made her shiver.

"Who said anything about you leaving me?" he growled. Oh, that growl did things to her. Her body went warm. "Since I have to let you out of my sight for most of the day, I'll be driving you home to get your stuff, and then back and forth to work."

She sat up quickly then, green eyes sparkling as she took in the beautiful sight of Carlisle next to her. Golden hair shining in the light, ochre eyes sparkling with mirth and happiness. He had already changed into black trousers, a light blue button down shirt, and a matching light blue tie. He looked utterly breathtaking, and she quickly scrambled up and into his lap, humming in her attempt to purr—she missed being able to do that—and she wrapped her arms around his, fingers in his hair, nose against his neck.

"Really?" she breathed excitedly.

He nodded and she could feel tension that she understood now as a signal of his arousal, but she still chose to not mention it even as her own arousal grew. She knew, though, that he wouldn't risk her. "Couldn't get rid of me if you wanted to."

"I don't," she said quickly and then pulled him in for a kiss. It was hot and desperate as they had been slowly becoming over the past few days. She moved before she could tell herself not to and found herself straddling him in a way that made him groan. She arched against him, fingers digging into his shoulders as his flattened over her bottom and yanked her bottom half against him, making her squeak as she felt the obviousness of his lust for her in his pants. She almost rocked again, but the next moment she was sitting alone on the bed and he was breathing heavily next to the wall, looking agonized.

She let out a breath and tried to push it away, knowing the scent of her own need wasn't helping him, and bit her lip. Slowly she shimmied out from her tangle in the blankets and stood a couple feet away, looking apologetically up at him through her lashes.

"I'm sorry—" She was cut off by a tender kiss and she smiled softly.

"Never apologize," he murmured. Apparently she was doing that a lot lately because that's far from the first time she's heard it since she awoke with her memories.

Finally she pulled herself away and found her purse, shoes, and coat. She breathed in the post-dawn air with a smile and climbed into the passenger seat of Carlisle's Mercedes with his help. The drive to her house was quick as, like Emmett, he seemed fine with breaking the speed limit.

He was at her door a second after the car was shut off and he opened it, leading her inside. She could tell Beth was there and a pause outside the door told her that she had company. She smiled lightly and headed for her own room where Carlisle perched on the bed as she showered, changed into scrubs, and tugged her hair up into a messy bun.

"I wish these were more flattering," she mumbled as tugged at her scrubs. Cool arms wrapped around her and she leaned back into a solid chest as lips found her ear.

"You're beautiful," he breathed and when he said it like that, she couldn't help but believe it. She blushed and turned to kiss him, humming as he made it deeper.

"I thought I heard you— _Holy shit_!"

Abigail jumped and broke the kiss, Carlisle immediately turning to shield her and she peaked around to see a stunned Beth in the door. Apparently Jacob had told Beth that Abigail was staying with him so the blonde didn't worry, and she supposed she should've told Beth of the plan, but she decided the look of shock in her face was worth it.

Abigail giggled, putting a hand quickly in Carlisle's hair to soothe him and tell him it's okay, before stepping around him towards her roommate.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you," she said. "I needed my work clothes." She paused and saw a blush covering Beth's face and was torn between growling possessively at Beth's obvious reaction to Carlisle's beauty, or smirking in amusement.

"It-it's okay." She managed a shy smile and took a step forward. Carlisle's hand went for Abigail's arm and she patted it. "I'm Beth Greene."

"Carlisle Cullen," he said in a friendly matter even though he still was tense behind her.

Beth's eyes widened. " _You're_ Dr. Cullen?"

Abigail snorted as a way to cover the growl. Clearly the ER nurses weren't the only ones who knew about the beauty that was Carlisle Cullen. She wasn't a fool to think nobody else lusted for her husband—S _top, he's just your boyfriend now, but that needs to change_ —but that didn't mean she had to like it. Even Beth in maternity heard of him and she wondered what the rumors around the hospital were about him.

"Yes. It's pleasure to meet you, Miss Greene." He smiled politely. "My apologies, I must get Abigail to work." Beth simply nodded and moved quickly out of the way so Abigail could head downstairs with Carlisle trailing her. He paused her long enough to get her coat on and then led her outside.

As soon as they were headed towards the hospital, she broke into loud giggles which earned a grin from Carlisle.

"I really didn't like her looking at you that way, but it was so funny," she gushed through her laughter. "I wanted to laugh and rip her head off at the same time." She shook her head with a small huff. "How am I expected to survive a whole nursing staff worth of that?"

Carlisle was grinning even as he grunted. "You think I haven't been asking myself the same thing since you arrived?" He shook his head. "Especially with Dr. Handsy there."

It didn't take a genius to figure out who he meant and she raised an eyebrow, reaching subconsciously for one of his hands which he dutifully gave her without thought. " _Handsy_?"

He growled slightly. "Talk about wanting to rip someone's head off... I've seen the way he looks at you, and I've seen him touching you. It kills me, Abigail. Only I'm allowed to touch you like that."

She squeezed his hand and waited until his furious eyes turned to her. "I'll do a better job to stop him," she said softly, shifting in her seat and switching hands so one could thread through his hair, causing him immediately to thaw. "Even though he should know better than to do it anyway. And today I'll prove to him I'm taken, and always have been." Carlisle grinned. "So hopefully he'll get the picture and stop."

"He better," he grumbled and Abigail smiled.

They arrived to the hospital a minute later and her smile immediately vanished, dread filling her body. Carlisle tugged her close to press his nose against her throat and she eased considerably.

"I still don't like it," she mumbled.

He sighed. "Me either," he admitted. "But I'm glad you're here and not home. Even though you'll be out of my sight, at least I'll be able to feel you in the building."

"You can feel me all you want," she grumbled which earned her an exasperated, heated look and she gave him a sheepish grin. "Sorry, it just came out."

"Mhm," he sighed. "When you have free time, text me how and where you are. That way I can come see you if I'm not busy, and I'll know that you're okay."

She smiled and nodded, leaning up for a kiss before she was forced to part from him and be professional. However, he didn't let go of her hand until they were in the lounge and drew more than one look of shock and she was torn between giggling and being embarrassed so she did both. Carlisle was much better at ignoring it than she was.

He gave her a small peck as they moved to go their own ways. "Meet me at noon for lunch?" he said with a wink. She smirked and nodded.

"As long as I can pay."

He lost his smile and gave her a cross look. "Whatever made your pretty little head think that was ever going to happen?"

She rolled her eyes and stole another kiss. "Can't blame a girl for trying." He smiled adoringly and kissed her before taking a deep breath and turning for his office.

Immediately her smile fell as she felt a cold sickness creep from her heart to the rest of her body, but she dragged herself over to get some patient files from a stunned Mackenzie, who she simply nodded at, and then moved to do some of her rounds.

* * *

As Carlisle requested, she texted her location and state of mind to him whenever she could and he could only answer back a couple which told her he was really busy as she knew how much she meant to him.

In fact, she felt silly for her previous thoughts that he could never want her. She knew how much she meant to him, and she vowed never to tell him those thoughts, because they would devastate him. And she knew Edward would know this and know not to tell him either. At least she hoped her son would help her out in that respect.

Fifteen minutes before noon, she had to take some paperwork up to ICU and found herself pausing outside the gift shop. Her eyes flickered over all the new gifts and decorations, and for a moment she was confused as to the shock of red and pink before her eyes caught the date on the wall and it dawned on her, making her feel more than a little silly. It had been very hectic the past couple weeks and she knew it wasn't her fault, but it made her laugh.

Heading inside quickly, she bought a little something she hope Carlisle would find cute and not lame, and headed for his office. Luckily she didn't run into anyone—and she hadn't seen Dr. Jones all day, which was the best part—and was able to get right to his office. She paused outside and quietly knocked, realizing he didn't specify where to meet for lunch, and grinned when she heard him call, "Come in."

He sounded distracted and thought of telling him to skip lunch, but she needed to at least see him for a couple minutes. Hiding her gift behind her back, she entered the room quietly so she didn't disturb him. She was right, he was distracted, files laid out over his desk and his tie tugged loose in a very un-Carlisle like matter. She frowned and stopped herself from going to him and sitting in his lap and running her hands through his hair. Clearly he needed some more time.

"We can do lunch later," she suggested.

Immediately his head came up and his face changed to a look of pure joy. She smiled and he stood, stepping close to her and shutting the door behind her back. An arm went around her waist and he tugged her close, kissing her hungrily and she moaned softly, her arms tangling behind his shoulders and pressing herself against him. They kissed for a couple minutes, losing themselves in each other and making up for the hours spent apart.

Only once she was breathless did he pulled away, and then grinned as she tried to chase his lips with hers. "Breathe, my sweet Abigail," he murmured and she sucked in a breath before nodding sheepishly. "What have you got there?"

She realized then she still held her gift, it was poking him in the head, and now she just felt silly, but it was too late. Her cheeks went red and he raised an eyebrow, but waited for her to speak.

"I feel now like it's stupid..." she murmured and he shook his head quickly. Slowly she showed it to him.

It was a little bear with light brown fur, a little red bowtie, holding a red heart with white wording that said, **"I Love You"** on it. On the foot **"2007"** was written in small white letters and she smiled sheepishly.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she murmured.

For a moment he looked stunned, happy, and joyful even though the gift was childish. Her heart ached at that look, but then his face sunk into a look of devastation and her eyes went wide with confusion.

"What?" she demanded quickly as if he had somehow gotten hurt in that five second time span, her fingers reaching his hair.

"I forgot your birthday," he whispered in horror and slowly her shoulders slumped as her fear left.

"Oh. That's all? Don't scare me like that, Carlisle." She huffed and rolled her eyes.

" _That's all_?" he demanded. "I forgot your birthday. That's the most important day in all of space and time. Your birth is more important to me than anything." He sighed. "' _That's all_...'" he mumbled sarcastically.

"I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was ten." He looked even worse then. "And I forgot it myself. How are you expected to remember?"

 _Yeah, now I've done it_. He looked so pained she nearly wept. "I'm expected to remember because you are my mate. I want to worship you, not forget you."

 _Worship_... She let out a shaky breath as her body warred between becoming warm in arousal and becoming warm in affection.

"It's fine, my love," she whispered, realizing she was in his hair again as his body relaxed. "If you want, we can go out somewhere tonight just—"

Just as her phone rang. She frowned and sighed, reluctantly pulling away so she could dig it out. **Alice Cullen**. Figures.

"Alice?" she wondered as she accepted the call. Distracted, she didn't realize Carlisle had plucked the bear from her hands and moved away until he was nuzzling her a second later.

"You're not going out, you're coming here." Her voice sounded snippy and Abigail frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"No, Mother, I'm not." She couldn't help but smile affectionately at the _"Mother"_ that came from Alice, even though she didn't sound all that happy.

"Well, what'd I do now?"

"You didn't remind us and now I only have seven hours to throw together a party! Honestly, I know I'm good, but I'm not _that_ good."

_Oh god..._

"No no no. No parties, absolutely not. I forbid it."

"You can't. I already saw it." She was so smug that Abigail huffed.

"C'mon, Alice, no parties."

"This is the first birthday we've spent with you in fifty years. We're having a party." And then the line went dead and Abigail winced.

Even though she never aged, Carlisle had always insisted on acknowledging her birthday. Once they had the others, they did with them as well, but she had a feeling that stopped after she died. But now that she was back, she wondered if it would start back up again.

Sighing, she pocketed her phone and brought her fingers into the hair by her cheek as Carlisle was still nuzzling her, gentle kisses pressing against her neck and jaw.

"There's no stopping her, is there?" she murmured, realizing her stress of the situation was gone from her mate's ministrations.

"You should know better than anyone the answer to that question."

 _So that's a no then_ , she thought glumly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter twenty-two:
> 
> \- [Time With the Cullens (3)](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_twenty_one-twenty_two/set?id=220361641)


	23. It's My Birthday I Can Beg If I Want To

**-Abigail-**

Abigail was almost afraid at what would be waiting for her at home— _home is back with Beth,_ she told herself, but I wish it was here—once she and Carlisle left work. As he promised, he waited for her in the lounge to finish up and then helped her with her coat and purse, and led her out into the hallway.

"Promise me she won't do anything too over the top," she mumbled as she buttoned her coat and then reached for his hand.

He chuckled. "You know I can't do that, love."

She mumbled curses under her breath about "insolent child" and he simply smirked at her in amusement as they headed for his Mercedes. It was colder out than that morning and she paused outside the car to dig her gloves from her bag when she heard her name.

A low growl left Carlisle's throat as apparently he caught in to who the voice belonged to before she did as she had to spin around to see. Brett Jones came jogging for them, his smile friendly even though his eyes flashed coldly as he looked between Abigail and Carlisle's obvious affection. She pulled on the gloves and immediately her stomach knotted in distaste and she reached over to clutch Carlisle's hand for both their sakes, knowing as soon as Dr. Jones was gone, she would have her fingers buried in Carlisle's hair.

"Dr. Jones," she said smoothly, professionally. She had managed to avoid him all day and work only with the other ER doctor, and older woman named Dr. Eve, but apparently he was just waiting to accost her in the parking lot.

"Haven't seen you all day, kid, where've you been?" He stopped in front of her, not even looking at Carlisle as he grinned down at her. She shifted uncomfortably, realizing at the last moment that she had shifted slightly behind Carlisle. Her stomach twisted again as she prayed he didn't try and touch her, she would probably get sick again.

"Around," she answered simply.

He nodded, not seeming to get the hint. "Feeling better? Mackenzie told me you were off in medical leave." Only then did his eyes flash to Carlisle, but came back quickly as fear sparkled them. She had a feeling she knew what he had seen in Carlisle's eyes.

"I'm fine. Thanks to Carlisle here." She took another much needed step closer to him and her other hand also touched his arm. "My own personal knight in shining armor." She smiled up at him adoringly and his eyes grew softer as he glanced at her, but she knew they hardened back up into a predatory gaze once she looked away.

Dr. Jones's eyes narrowed a bit and he paused, seeming to think something through, before giving a nod. "Good thing Cullen was there." His words were forced, and she hated the way he spat out Carlisle's last name.

"Very," she insisted. "I'm sorry, we have to get going. It's my birthday and we have a party waiting for us."

Dr. Jones's eyes lit up. "Wow, no way. Happy Birthday, Abs!" He moved into hug her, her breath caught and she nearly vomited right then, but that's when Carlisle stepped in.

"Goodnight, Dr. Jones," he said stiffly and tugged Abigail backwards and helped her into the car. Dr. Jones said nothing as Carlisle stalked around to his side and climbed in. But she could see the other doctor's eyes had changed, hard and cold as he stared at them. He continued to stare even as Carlisle quickly turned the car on, and squealed out of the parking lot.

* * *

**-Brett-**

_Bitch! Think she can lead me on like that?_ his mind roared as he turned and stomped back to his own car, an old shabby black Oldsmobile Cutlass. It rocked as he got in and sputtered to a start, the motions and sounds making him seethe as he slammed on the pedal and barely jolted forward. He knew he had been getting somewhere with her, just like when he had been headed straight for chief of the ER. But then Cullen showed up and fucked everything up, taking his job and his self respect. Now he's taken Brett's girl, and every bit of control he had went out the window.

 _Gold digging whore_ , he spat. _If Cullen didn't have the money or the body or the car, she'd be all over me. I'm perfect for her. She'd be my little bitch just like she was meant to be_.

He gritted his teeth as he turned down a street and sat outside her house like he always did, car hidden by the trees.

 _She'll pay. They both will. She'll fucking be mine_.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

Carlisle took her home to change and he was silent the whole way there, fingers tense and denting the steering wheel. She didn't know what to say as her stomach was rolling, trying to push passed what happened, but finding it difficult. Of course her hand was in Carlisle's hair, but for once it didn't seem to be working, though she didn't pull away. Even if he was upset at her—especially if he was upset at her—she would never deny her mate the comfort.

Once they pulled up out front, he cut the engine and stayed where he was. She bit her lip, frowning. _He's really mad_ , she thought sadly.

"Should I go in by myself? Or... Or have Alice cancel the party?" Her voice was small and meek and she watched him wince, shake his head, and then quickly reach over to drag her over the console in between them to place her on his lap. He started nuzzling her and it did a better job of calming her down than her hair stroking did him.

"I'm sorry I got upset," he murmured into her skin and she frowned.

"Why're you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong. I...I had avoided him all day. I thought he would've gotten the picture." She bit her lip. "Maybe I should've come out and said it. I should be apologizing."

He shook his head. "It's not your fault. He should know better than to act like that. And it's not your fault you're so beautiful." She went red and couldn't help but smile softly.

"I suppose I should be grateful that none of the nurses try and touch you. I don't want to explain to Charlie why he's arresting me for assault." He chuckled. "'Sorry, Charlie, but this bitch put a finger on my soulmate's arm and I had to take her out.'"

Carlisle laughed louder and she could feel that paired with the the fingers in his hair, his body relaxed. "God, I love you," he breathed, his voice full of awe and reverence and her heart sang.

"I love you, too, Carlisle."

He kissed her gently and then slid her to the other side so she didn't get hurt or dropped by trying to climb backwards out of his side. However, he did round the car quickly to help her out and together they went inside.

She made him wait in the bedroom as she grinned, grabbed what she needed, and headed for the bathroom. She showered first and shaved everywhere she could. Deep down she was still hoping for birthdays sex even though she knew it would never happen. _But a girl can dream_ , she thought.

After she got out, she dried quickly and pulled on some lacy panties, but no bra as the dress she managed to sneak passed Carlisle's curious eyes had spaghetti straps and a deeper plunging neckline so a bra wouldn't work. She set to work plucking her eyebrows, putting in some light makeup and lipgloss, and rubbing lotion on her newly shaved parts. After that she turned on her hair dryer and dried it before she curled it and put in a small bit of spray to keep it, but it wasn't enough for the crunchy/wet look, which just didn't suit her style. After that was done and she pulled back some strands and clipped them—her go-to "fancy" hair—before she pulled out the dress.

A deeper rose red, it was cut to just the top of her breasts, but didn't show even any cleavage so she knew Carlisle would like it. It was held up by spaghetti straps, and it was tight to her waist with a floral design in the same color as the rest of the dress, and it flowed out from there to her mid-thigh. She wanted the complete look to show him so she had even brought her shoes, some strappy deep red numbers the same color as the dress and gave her about four inches. She would be taking her regular purse as she knew she wasn't leaving that night, and it was large so she could throw her scrubs in for the next day.

Taking a deep breath and hoping he liked it, her heels clicked a couple times as she exited the bathroom and then muted on the carpet of the hallway. Carlisle was exactly where she left him, and his eyes lifted immediately, and she was sure she watched the first vampire heart attack in history as his eyes went pure black in an instant, and his breath stuttered to a stop. She knew if his heart were beating, that would've stopped, too.

She grinned and turned in a small, quick circle so the skirt fluttered around her and then swished back in place against her thighs. "How do I look?" she wondered, though she was sure she already knew the answer to that question.

Slowly he got up, her own breath stuttering out of her and her heart picking up a quick rhythm. He prowled to her, eyes full of hunger and lust as he slowly circled around her, even though she already spun so he could see all of it. And he was a vampire, he didn't miss it. Once he took his complete turn, not missing one inch of her body—and after she began to tremble under his critical gaze—he stopped in front of her with his burning eyes staring down into hers.

Then he growled, a sound that went straight to her lower belly and she gasped softly, allowing him to yank her towards him. She stumbled only slightly in her heels, but of course he caught her—as he always would—and pulled her off her feet. She was still much shorter even in her heels so she was thrilled that she was closer. She felt so powerless there in his tight embrace and she absolutely loved it. She loved feeling his powerful muscles under her fingertips, loved the way she felt every inch of his hard body against her softer one, loved the way she could see the hunger heat up his usually topaz eyes to a deep black. She decided she loved the way his eyes changed when aroused by her almost as much as she loved his growls.

"There are no words to describe," he snarled out through a mouth of venom, "how utterly delectable you are right now." Her breath quickened again, heart stopping and he growled as the scent of her arousal hit him. Oh she wanted to beg him if course, her body singing with the need for him to take her. But she had promised him that she understood and she did, so she forced herself not to let those words free.

"Carlisle," she whispered. Apparently his name was the key to releasing his beast because he growled again, backing her up and she squeaked as her back hit the wall, and he was kissing her then. It was hotter, rougher than any kiss they had shared until then. Well, at least in this life, she remembered some kisses that lead to walls crumbling down in her vampire years.

**.x.x.x.x.**

She whimpered and he snarled into her mouth, pressing against her harder, and she took the initiative to wrap her legs around his waist. He groaned and she smiled against his lips, realizing that his tongue invaded her mouth before she even knew it as it was tasting every inch of her. She was trembling, her body begging even if her mouth didn't, and she whimpered as he began to rub against her in a primal, possessive way that she wasn't sure was actually about sex and more about making sure she carried his scent. That was always one of her favorite parts about being his, proudly strutting around covered in his scent.

But as usual, all too soon, it ended and he was pulling back with ragged gasps that matched her own. Her fingers were fisted in his hair and she didn't let go even as he leaned his forehead against her shoulder.

"You are a dangerous creature, Abigail Goodwin." _My name is Abigail Cullen_ , her mind screamed, but she wisely stayed silent. "You make a man want to lose control and take you."

Her breath hitched and she leaned down to nip his ear, unable to stop herself from saying, "Maybe that was my evil plan all along. Seduce you until you take my virginity again. Think of how tight I am." He let out a not-so-gentle roar then and his hips jerked and she smiled. She was glad Beth was gone; he wasn't the only one possessive over his mate's noises.

"You're killing me," he groaned through clenched teeth.

"I know I said I understand, and I do. I'm sorry if I'm pushing. But you don't know how badly I want you."

His eyes came up, pained resolution and hunger warred to be the dominant emotion. She knew then he wouldn't be taking her that night. "I do," he growled quietly, and between his hardness pressed between them and the sweet scent of her arousal even she could smell at that point, she believed him.

"You should let me down then before I beg for birthday sex." As she had done every February fourteenth since 1776.

**.x.x.x.x.**

He looked pained, like he was being asked to rip off his own limbs as he carefully set her on her feet, holding her steady as her heels made her wobbly knees even worse. Once she got her shaking under control, she realized next would be her arousal as she truly didn't want to hear it from the rest of their family if she came home smelling like a horny teenager. It didn't help her panties were soaked and she held up a finger, went into her closet to grab her scrubs and quickly changed into a fresh pair before he could question it, and then came out with her clothes for tomorrow. At her dresser she spritzed on some of her favorite perfume and took a deep breath.

It seemed he wasn't completely better yet because his body was rigid, jaw clenched and tense even as he delicately helped her into her coat and toss her purse over her shoulder. He took her hand as they went downstairs and back out to the car. But at her door she paused, looking behind Carlisle with a frown.

She didn't know why, but it felt like they were being watched, the hair on her arms standing up. It only took a second for Carlisle to realize his mate's discomfort and he whipped around, body poised protectively in front of hers.

"What's wrong?" he demanded and slowly she shook her head. She saw nothing and figured she as being silly so she reached for his hair, feeling him relax. He turned and nuzzled her so she would do the same.

"Weird feeling. It's okay, I'm probably being paranoid." She smiled softly, though she wasn't totally convinced even as they pulled from the driveway. They were gone a couple miles down the road when the Oldsmobile Cutlass turned on and crept from the trees, heading in the opposite direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Slight sexual content. Proceed with caution._ If you want to skip over it, the section will be marked with **.x.x.x.x.** before and after it. It won't have any plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. It's not enough to change the rating just yet, but that might happen in a bit. Thanks for reading, comments are love!
> 
> Outfits for chapter twenty-three: 
> 
> \- [Birthday](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_twenty_three-twenty_five/set?id=220357158)


	24. Cake and Ice Cream

**-Brett-**

The video loaded up rather slowly so he got his usual night cocktail of whiskey and tequila while he waited. The piece of shit junker was something he had gotten from a thrift shop when his other computer broke. He wanted to toss this one, too, but considering his last pay check went to Mikey in Seattle for the game of Texas Holdem that he lost thirty grand in, he knew there was no chance in the luxuries anytime soon. Even though this _"new"_ one was probably an original Dell; it still ran Windows 98, and he was lucky he could use it for the shit he needed to.

Finally the fucker made the completion noise and he went over to look, as usual naked as a jaybird in his nightly ritual of getting off to the sight of the lovely Abigail Goodwin in her natural habitat. The camera above her bed got her sleeping, there was one above her mirror on her dresser which usually was good for watching her change, and one in the corner of her shower that got the whole bathroom as it was that small. She hadn't been there for awhile—his teeth clenched as he realized she had been with Cullen this whole time—but he knew that he could get some kind of glimpse of her, or even her pretty little blonde roommate. Part of him wished he put a camera in that girl's bedroom, too, but her boyfriend wasn't something he wanted to see either.

He hit the jackpot with the camera in the shower, slouching down in his chair with a sick smirk on his face as he watched her shower and then cover her delectable little body up in a sinfully delicious dress. He slowed it down and put it on repeat, working himself up quick enough that he groaned and came on his fingers, her name leaving his lips as he thought of pushing that whore against the bathroom wall and fucking her against the tiles.

He thought he might get something in the bedroom, but instead he got two different angles of her and Cullen making out against the wall. He yelled in rage and stood up, kicking his chair over and going to smash some bottles in his sink. He barely managed to contain himself before he smashed the TV—again—or his shitty computer.

 _Bitch is just digging herself a hole,_ he thought as he downed the glass of alcohol and got another one. _I will have her, mark my fucking words. That little whore is mine._

* * *

**-Abigail-**

The first clue that Alice went all out was the fact the fairy lights twinkled on the trees again just like they did for the wedding. Horror washed through her and she slouched in her seat as Carlisle laughed. "Oh god, please tell me she didn't," she moaned through the fingers that had crept up to cover her face.

"Cut her some slack, she missed her mother." Abigail's heart swelled, but she still grumbled and made him laugh louder. The three mile driveway wasn't long enough and soon the meadow opened to the house. Her lips parted in shock as there was a small tent to the right with what looked like covered dishes. A few other tables sat around behind that. There were some speakers and a radio behind them and a smaller version of the dance floor that was at Bella and Edward's wedding. Between the tent and the music table sat a smaller one piled high with wrapped gifts.

"Oh my god," she whispered in horror. Carlisle chuckled.

"Smile, you'll have fun," he said as he pulled up into his usual spot. No sooner had he done that then Alice was at her door, yanking it open and pulling her out, grinning happily and throwing her arms around her.

"You're here!" she squealed and Abigail found herself melting. Alice was her daughter and the girl simply wanted to do something for her now that she's back. A cake and ice cream would've been fine, but that wasn't Alice's style. Abigail simply hated so much attention, but Alice was happy and a peak at Carlisle told her that he was happy, so she supposed it wouldn't kill her to have a little fun.

"Sorry we're late, I lost track of time."

Alice waved her hand. "Sure you did." She smirked. Abigail scoffed.

"Don't _even_ start that again." Alice simply laughed and dragged her towards the party. "Why so much? Do we know this—"

But then she stopped as she spotted the Quileutes, even Billy, Sue, and Old Quil. And finally Charlie. Her eyes went wide with excitement and she squealed, causing everyone's attention to directed towards her, but she went right to Charlie. He was taken by surprise, but laughed and squeezed her tightly.

"Well, hello to you, too, kiddo," he said affectionately. "Been awhile."

She nodded against his shoulder, giggling as he picked her up just like everyone else. "I know. I've been so busy... But I'm so glad you're here."

"Like I would miss your twenty-third birthday," he said with a scoff. "'Bout time you let someone throw a party for you."

"I'm not sure 'let' is the right word..." He chuckled and she heard someone clear their throat and pulled away to look at Billy faux-glaring at her.

"What am I, chopped liver?"

She snorted and wiggled away to hug Billy, who tugged her into his lap to squeeze. Next was Old Quil and then Sue, then the packs who sang to her right away so Alice would allow them free reign to the cake.

"Save at least one piece for me!" she admonished them. None of them heard her, at least they pretended not to, and she rolled her eyes as she pressed herself to Carlisle's side. She missed the startled looks from the other humans, but she was too busy watching Jacob and Emmett start a game of cards while Bella and Seth worked at the music table, Rosalie and Jasper played chess, and Alive kept the food coming. Alice also played hostess and mingled around quickly, never sitting still for longer than a couple moments.

Abigail smiled and shook her head, allowing Carlisle to pull her to a table where Charlie joined them, his face pressed into an odd line and Abigail raised an eyebrow.

"So," he said, trying to be casual and failing. Abigail snickered.

"Yes?"

"This happened." He gestured to the two of them.

"Yes, it did," she said. Charlie merely grunted as sipped at the champagne he had, wincing some, but didn't complain. Honestly, she wasn't surprised he was acting like this. She knew if her dad were there, he would've done the same and Charlie was merely falling into his place. Though she wasn't naive, he was like a second father to her and cared for her.

"You happy?" he finally mumbled, refusing to look at her and she grinned.

"Very." He grunted again.

"Good."

And that was the end of that conversation, it flowed much easier after that, and she could see he had more respect for Carlisle than he was letting on. Of course, it was hard not to see that Carlisle was a good man. She gazed up at him lovingly every time he spoke, his soft voice—one she knew that could flare with power and dominance, but was usually always kind and quiet—filled the next couple tables and even some of the pack came over to listen to him as they ate their fifth or sixth helping. She hadn't eaten yet, but a pointed stare from Alice behind the food table had her blushing and excusing herself, quickly massaging Carlisle's hair as her mate immediately grew restless, and headed over to see her oldest daughter.

While Rosalie was with them first, Alice was older, around the same age as Edward. (At least that's what they assumed as she had told them she waited twenty-eight years for Jasper, finding him in 1948. And she was seventeen or eighteen when turned, as she didn't look any older than that.) While they hadn't changed her or Jasper like they had the others, they were still her children. And Emmett, though he looked the oldest of the kids, was their youngest and she had a feeling that's one reason he clung to her so much.

 _Youngest child syndrome_ , she thought wryly.

"I was planning on eating," she said defensively as she arrived in front of Alice sheepishly. "But I didn't want to be rude and leave the conversation."

"It changed four times." She pointed to the plates. "Eat." She turned away and Abigail frowned, picking up a plate to fill even though her attention was now on her daughter.

"Alice," she said quietly and the girl froze. "I'm sorry I didn't remind you." She paused. "How did you even find out?"

"I saw you decide on the bear—nice choice, by the way—and figured out the date."

Abigail sighed and set her plate down, rounding the table to hold open her arms to her. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to forget. There was so much..." She trailed off and shrugged. "It won't happen again."

She could see Alice thaw before her eyes and a second later, she had her arms full of lovey Alice hugs. She smiled and pulled the girl closer, tightening her grip.

"It's okay, Mom, you're forgiven." There was a catch in her voice and so Abigail held her tighter for a little while longer before pulling away and she reached up to cup Alice's cheek.

"Why don't we plan a party for the next holiday together? Memorial Day, isn't it? We'll hold it right here. Maybe a barbecue?"

Alice's eyes lit up, but blurred a second later, and then sparkled even more when they came back into focus. "I would love that! But I don't think that's the next event."

Abigail frowned, mind moving over the dates between February and May, and coming up empty. "I don't understand," she said. Alice simply smiled wider, winked, and moved over to help Bella with some more salsa dip.

She was still trying to figure it out as she went back to Carlisle's side and she heard a small sigh of relief and his arm crept casually across the back of her chair, though she knew he wanted it closer. She smiled at him lovingly and used one hand to eat while the other hand found his and that seemed to satisfy his craving, at least for right then. She finished off her plate and Alice brought her a piece of cake and some champagne. But Carlisle swiped away the champagne, winking at her as she frowned. He sipped at it, at least pretended to, pouring bits onto the ground when Charlie—the only one who didn't know about vampires—wasn't paying attention.

By the time ten rolled around, the humans were dragging and they said goodbye pretty soon after the packs headed into the woods to start their patrols. Charlie and Billy hugged her again, and Sue and Old Quil got their chance for one, before they headed out. The Cullens were left and with all of them helping, even Abigail with her human slowness—which Emmett smirked and teased her for—they managed to get everything cleaned up in about half an hour.

Abigail was exhausted and wound up being carried inside by Carlisle after a tired goodnight to her family. She was nodding in and out of consciousness as she felt his feet climb the stairs and turn...away from the bedroom. She frowned and opened her eyes, watching as Carlisle took her into his study.

"I'm sleepy," she complained as he kicked the door shut behind them and set her carefully on the couch. She immediately moved to cuddle to his side, but he held her still and her eyes filled with more than just tiredness... They filled with fear.

"Carlisle, what is it? What's wrong?" For a moment her heart stopped and she wondered if her worst fear was coming true: she wasn't Carlisle's actual mate, there was a mistake in the call, and he's leaving her. She looked for any sign of that, but all she found was devotion and love and she let out a breath, feeling her heart beat raggedly again.

"Don't fret, my love. It's nothing to be afraid of." But he looked afraid. Afraid and worried and...terrified. She didn't understand. What has him so upset? Why is her beloved so scared? Her fear came back, this time adding in that it was a mistake to change her the first time and he never would this time, and she choked. Still, her instincts had her jumping up to try and soothe her agitated mate, but he gently set her back down.

"Carlisle, please..." she whimpered, trailing off as he knelt in front of her and reached to cup her cheeks, sorrow taking the place of fear.

"Please don't cry, beautiful girl," he whispered, wiping at tears she hadn't realized had fallen. He took a breath and it was shaky. "Do you know how much I adore you? I'm devoted to you, fully and completely. There's nothing in existence that will ever change that." He paused. "Not even if you're taken from me." He paused again and she saw him fight back a swell of emotions, but he wouldn't let her hands go to stroke her hair. "I love you with every part of me, every breath I take is for you. Every second of this life is spent with you on my mind, with the hope you're happy and that you feel loved. I promised you a long time ago to always protect you and to always look out for you. I failed once." He put a finger to her lips when she parted then to disagree. "I will do everything in my power to never let that happen again. I will fight to the last of my life, with every drop of venom, every ounce of my love."

He wiped more tears as she realized she had been wrong, very wrong. He wasn't sad because he was letting her go...he was afraid she was going to reject him. He had the same fears she did and she thought it almost comical since it was clear neither could bear to be apart from each other even for a couple hours. She knew he loved her, and she hoped he knew that she loved him.

"On March third 1776, I gave you this promise. And...I gave you this ring." He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and she gasped as he pulled out the ring he gave to her at their wedding, just as he had said. He had slid it onto her finger, practically levitating with the excitement as he waited for that moment. It was a claim on her, the sign that she was his wife. _His_. And they would be each other's eternity as she slid a ring on his finger as well.

It was as shiny as it was back then, and she realized he kept up care of it even after she died. It was made of pounded copper, shaped into a rose with a vine that twirled along the outside of the ring, and in the middle of the flower sat a simple single diamond. He wasn't nearly as wealthy back then as he was now and she knew he spent a lot to have that handcrafted for her. It was even more beautiful now that she was seeing it again for the first time in fifty years.

"I devoted myself to you, without question and with the greatest hope that you would allow me to keep you. And so I devote myself to you once more, I pledge my life and protection and love to you, in hope that you would do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife once more. Abigail, will you marry me?"

There was no stopping the tears and even Carlisle had given up because his fingers had moved to lovingly cup her cheek, his thumb stroking the apple as he poured his heart out, yanked it from his chest and left himself vulnerable. And though she knew that he understood her feelings for him, she still saw that raw terror in his eyes that she would, for some reason, decline his proposal.

How she managed to push a vampire onto his back, she'll never know. But a second later she had flung herself off the couch and into his arms, feeling the way his body easily caught her fall before she could hit the floor, his arms tight around her and she had known even before she had done it he wouldn't even let a bruise appear on her.

She was sobbing and kissing all over his face, trembling from the emotional jumble piled up inside her, all lining up to escape.

"Yes," she finally whimpered, feeling every bit of tension and fear drain from him and his arms tightened around her. "Yes yes yes yes... Yes, Carlisle, I'll be your wife. I can't stand not being Abigail Cullen anymore. I need you, I love you. Yes yes yes..." She went to repeating just that word, kissing him all over where she could reach, feeling his beast whimper as it gave into their mate, and her words were only silenced by his lips claiming hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfit for chapter twenty-four:
> 
> \- [Birthday](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_twenty_three-twenty_five/set?id=220357158)


	25. Fall Into You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Sexual content. Proceed with caution._ If you want to skip over this chapter,that's fine, it won't have any plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. I'll be changing the rating now from **M** to **E**. :) Thanks for reading, comments are love!

**-Abigail-**

It wasn't until she was laid down onto the softness of a bed that she realized he had moved her. She was still clinging to him and kissing him breathlessly. If the others were still there, she didn't hear them, but frankly she was far too focused on the man in her arms— _my fiance!_ —to figure out where the family was. Fiance still wasn't enough. Boyfriend was silly. Husband was the strongest word for what he was to her, and yet it still wasn't quite right. He was her very existence and she wanted every moment of forever to be with him.

It took her a moment to realize she had somehow lost her shoes in the process, but they could be being gnawed on by Jacob and his pack for all she cared. Carlisle had laid her out on the sheets and his long, hard body was spread out over her, dwarfing her deliciously by his size and power.

Her body moved, her hips shifting and her thighs parting so he fell between them, causing them both to moan. One of her legs hooked up and around his thigh while the other rubbed against his hip and she felt him shudder against her. So much control, so much power, and she could make him tremble by rubbing her leg against his. She was feeling a bit smug, especially with his ring secured on her finger.  _How did that get there_? She didn't know that either, but she would figure it out later.

Her hands tugged at his jacket and he allowed that to come off, followed by his tie and a couple buttons. His hand was sliding up the skirt of her of her dress and she was never more thankful that she had decided against dressing a bit more casually in pants, and had also shaved nearly every part on her except arms and eyebrows. Most of what he felt was skin and she broke out in goosebumps, wiggling against him a whimper as the feeling of his touch went right for the already burning hot pit in her lower belly.

But then his fingers scraped the edges of her panties and he froze when he realized what he was feeling was basically the extent of them. The pair she had changed into were even smaller than the ones she had changed out of. Wearing a thong with a skirt was risky, but it wasn't windy so she had went with it. There was barely a back, and the front was a small V, and they were held together with just a thin line of lace.

Her body heated as he pulled back, not in embarrassment like usual, but with lust. If she hadn't been turned on before, the sight of his pitch black eyes and the low growl that left his throat certainly changed that. Eyes locked on hers, he ran his fingers behind her to feel even more bare skin, and then back around to find what passed as coverage. His onyx gaze seemed to somehow go even darker and there was another rumble of a growl from deep in his chest.

This was his beast, the predator inside him that he fought on a daily basis to keep away. But it was out, she could see the cage was unlocked and she knew better than to test his control; if he hurt her, he would never forgive himself. And while she desperately wanted him, and she did tell by the way he was pressing against her thighs, hard and hot and heavy, that he wanted her as well. But she wouldn't ask for him to take her, not fully while she was still human. She did kind of want to lose her virginity while it still counted, but she wouldn't ask that if him.

However, that didn't mean they couldn't get pleasure, she just had to be careful how she did it. If she spooked him, there would be no talking to him. So she paused for a quick second to think of a plan, and decided that she had an idea. She had never touched herself before, but she's not completely naive. Biting her lip, which earned her another delicious growl, she took his hand and pulled it up to her lips. He swallowed hard, keeping every motion she took in his sights.

He roared when she took his fingers into her mouth and her eyes nearly rolled back into her head. It was as if they had made love just yesterday, that's how strong the memory of his taste was. While she knew his cock tasted even better, his fingers certainly held their own. Fighting the urge to close her eyes, she kept her emerald hues locked on his onyx ones as she knew she would never get over the sight of how they looked right then: naked and full of need, desperate and wild to take her even though that door was firmly shut and no amount of knocking would get it open.

She hummed and coated his finger in a sheen of her saliva before taking another one in and doing the same motions. He snarled and growled, hips rocking and she nearly wept with need. If he wasn't pressed against her, she would've squeezed her thighs shut, but as it was his hips were in the way so she simply rocked against him to relieve some of the tension. He growled again and the noises weren't helping the pressure.

Once she was satisfied in how coated they were, she slowly pulled them out and let a small pop leave her mouth as they left. He rocked against her again and she smiled softly, knowing how wide her eyes must be with lust, and slowly she moved his hand back down her body with one of her own. The other hand she used to tug up her skirt and when he felt the motion, immediately his gaze followed it and he moaned as his eyes took in what his hands had felt.

"You little vixen," he managed to say through a mouthful of venom. She simply smiled at him and widened her hips a little more, wiggling them for a moment, before pushing his saliva-covered fingers past the lace of her useless panties, and to the drenched folds of her sex.

He roared again, the sound making her even damper. The predatory noises, the dark eyes...they told her she was pleasing her mate, that he was aroused and attracted to her. It was the primal instinct to want to do so, to succumb to the sins of the flesh with the man who completed her in more ways than she even dreamed. And to know he was so effected, to see all those signs, well she was incredibly pleased with herself.

But she couldn't think too far in those directions, not for long, because as soon as he touched her, she was hissing and moaning loudly in pleasure. And it was a simple touch, not even to her clit or her entrance, but to the juicy folds that hid them. She could see him fighting with something and he stared into her eyes for a moment and she gave a single nod, which helped him to move along.

With a grin, she heard the ripping of the offending panties and the scraps were tossed away to be forgotten. He shifted and hitched her leg higher over his back which opened her up to him, making her breath hitch and stutter in her chest, her heart beating quicker.  _God, he's touching me... Yes,_ yes _..._

She wiggled a little to try and get him moving, her eyes dark with need as she bit her lip earning another delightful sound. The saliva she put on his fingers was probably gone, but she was soaked enough it didn't matter. She wasn't entirely convinced all her wetness was just from this moment because she could hear the motions of his fingers as he began to run them through her wet folds.

It was an odd sensation to be a virgin again, to feel untouched even though you distinctly remembered almost two hundred years worth of having sex basically every single night. But she was new and her body was new, untouched by any hands except his and he seemed to remember this as well as he smirked and teased her, not yet finding her clit or entrance, but just moving through her slick lips.

"Carlisle," she whined, squirming against him as she hitched her leg up even higher, as high as it could go without landing on his shoulder. "Please don't tease me."

He groaned. "I can never deny you," he growled and soon a finger dipped past her lips and she was arching and crying out his name loudly. The self-satisfied smirk on his face was charming and hot and addicting. "I missed that so much... I love hearing you scream my name. Do it again for me, precious girl."

He found her clit again, flicking it with his forefinger and she wiggled, whimpering as she called out for him. "Yes, god, yes.  _Carlisle_...!"

He growled. "That's a good girl. Remember my name, let me hear it, let me know how good you feel." Dirty talking Carlisle. Lord help her. And she was marrying this man.

That's when a finger circled her entrance, making her whimper again, and then pushed inside her slowly so she could get used to it. But it felt right, complete, no pain as he pushed it in slowly to the knuckle. She cried out his name again, especially when he crooked it, and her whole body jumped and arched as white hot pleasure shot through there.

"There. Oh, god, there... Carlisle,  _please_..." He pumped his finger a couple times, crooking it each time he got to the knuckle and she almost whined when he pulled it out, but a second finger joined it and he turned his wrist so his thumb could press against her clit. She screamed again, hearing the squelching sound as he pumped his fingers in and out of her and let his thumb play with her swollen nub.

Her body was wiggling and writhing, her cries loud and full of need and passion, most of them being his name. She hadn't realized he had done it, but suddenly a cool mouth was on her breast. Her dusky pink nipple puckered immediately at the delicious torture, reaching and hardening for him.

"Yes!" she breathed. Her fingers landed in his hair and she pressed him down as she arched up. "Yes, baby, suckle me." He growled and moved to her other breast. Faintly she realized he had simply tugged the top of her dress down over her heaving chest, and she wished she had thought of that before. But it seemed like where she started at was fine with him.

She felt herself getting close, her belly stirring as the pleasure threatened to dump her over. She wiggled again, calling out to him in warning and he simply smiled around the nipple in his mouth as he alternated again, and pumped his fingers faster.

There was no stopping it if she wanted to. With a loud cry and scream of his name, she came, covering his fingers with her release as her body trembled and grew warm. It seemed to last forever, her back arching and she kept him latched to her breast as she rode our her orgasm on his fingers, hips rocking. It seemed no matter what the memories told her of their previous sexual experiences, nothing was quite like the real deal. And he hadn't even been inside her yet.

An eternity later she came down, slumping back into the pillow as sweat ran down the middle of her back. It's how she laid, boneless and ravished and so so satisfied. She didn't see, but she could feel the heat of Carlisle's stare on her as he pulled back from where he has been attached to her chest. Gently he pulled his fingers from inside her and she grunted as she was left empty. Still she didn't move, thighs slick with her own release, bare chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Her dress had been shoved up around her waist with all their movements and Carlisle was silent as she got herself under control.

"You are quite a wicked little creature."

His voice was rough and she slowly dragged her eyes open to look at him. Black eyes and hard against her thigh, he was waiting for her to gather herself and help him. So she sucked in another breath and grinned at him before reaching for his belt.

But he stopped her, hands gently as he tugged hers away and she frowned. "But you're still hard."

He snorted softly. "Still as blunt as ever, I see."

She shrugged. "It's why you love me."

"Oh, my dear. There are many reasons why I love you." He pulled her hand up and tenderly kissed her palm. "But not tonight."

"Carlisle—"

He shook his head. "Tonight is your night. Your wishes are more important than mine."

"Okay. Then I  _wish_  to give you a hand job."

He sighed, though he still smiled. "What ever will I do with you?" he whispered.

"Hopefully let me give you a hand job."

His eyes turned up to her sternly. "Will you allow me to take care of you afterwards?" She paused and realized that's what this was about. She was still exposed with her drying come on her thighs and her dress trussed up around her waist, her breasts shiny with his venom—though she was sure she rather liked that part—and slightly swollen from his vigorous sucking. She looked like she was well pleased and she felt like it, but it was part of his need as her mate to clean her up and take care of her after sexual encounters.

"I promise."

Her hand moved from his grip down to cup him through his pants. He roared again and this time she smirked because her mate wanted her. She could feel how he throbbed and ached in the confines of his pants. Her fingers of one hand moved to work on his belt as the other one kept moving on him, feeling as he trembled and held himself back. Frankly she wasn't used to that as he didn't have to when she was a vampire, but as she said, she understood.

Finally she worked his belt off and tossed it aside. The button and zipper on his pants were easy and she was tugging them and his boxer briefs down low enough that she could get his cock free and lift it out. He roared again and she purred in pleasure and self-satisfaction. She was pleasing him, making him feel good. As much as he needed to clean her up after he made her come, she needed to give him this and help him afterwards, too. It was instinct and there was no work around.

The first moan of her name had her chest swelling with pride, love, and more heat, but she focused solely on him. She could tell it wouldn't take much, he had been so worked up from what he did to her. He was hard and long, just like she remembered. He pulsed under her fingers and her thumb reached the head to smear the drip he gave along the tip. His roar fell into a moan and then a whimper as his body shuddered and his hips rocked and she could tell how close he was.

"Come for me, Carlisle," she purred to him. "Be a good boy and cover my fingers. I want to taste you."

He gasped and she watched something slam in his body and he let another roar of pleasure as he released over her hand. She moaned as the come coated her fingers and she hummed, letting him ride out his orgasm like he did her and when she knew he was done, when he stuttered to a stop and hissed slightly, she pulled her hand away.

And she did just what she said, licked her fingers clean of him. His lips parted and he groaned and she could tell he wished he didn't have to hold back, but there would be no talking him out of it either way.

He lay beside her, breathing in deeply while she closed her eyes and smiled. She was satisfied, still missing him inside her, but she was ever so grateful for what he did for her tonight. She wouldn't ask again for a very long time because she knew how be felt about pushing the limits with her and his self-control. She trusted him, and he trusted her, but he didn't trust himself, and she just had to wait until he did.

Quickly she rolled over, pressing against him as she pushed him to his back. Like before, she pressed kisses all over his face and neck and chest, suddenly sort of disappointed she didn't get his shirt off, but at she figured she could try that some other time. "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

The mantra left her mouth as her exposed body pressed against his mostly clothes one. The fabric of his shirt rubbing against her chest made her nipples ache and the leg of his pants against her still swollen clit made her jump, but she was too busy appreciating her mate and the love he showed her by giving her this gift.

"What in the world are you thanking me for, silly girl?" he asked, astonished.

"For doing this with me. I want you so much, and I really do understand your hesitation. But to me, those fifty years never happened." He flinched and she didn't mean it like that so her fingers went to his hair to soothe him. "I'm sorry, I just mean that it feels like just yesterday we were having sex every night. I mean of course I remember the last twenty-three years and it's so confusing to remember that and still feel like it's 1955 and I'm an unbreakable vampire." She sighed softly. "Although I'm sure we'll both have fun when you get to take my virginity again." She smirked lightly as he shivered and he eyed her tiredly. "Okay, okay sorry. But I'm still grateful you gave me this. This has become the best birthday ever."

"Because I made you come?"

She smirked. "Well, that, too." She held up her hand where her ring sparkled in the light. "But mostly this. I can finally be Mrs. Cullen again. I missed that almost as much as I missed you."

His eyes softened and she saw the onyx was fading back to topaz and he gazed at her lovingly. "I love you so much, my sweet Abigail."

She leaned in and nuzzled against him. "I love you, too."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter twenty-five:
> 
> \- [Birthday](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_twenty_three-twenty_five/set?id=220357158)


	26. Mourning

**-Abigail-**

**.x.x.x.x.**

Carlisle had tucked himself back in his pants and carefully arranged her dress back in place, though they both grinned at the fact that her panties were history. He swept her up into his arms and tenderly carried her into the bathroom and drew her a bath while she worked on scrubbing off her makeup and taking the pins out of her hair, but pulling it up into a messy bun so it wouldn't get wet.

Once she was done, she turned to see Carlisle ready and she stepped closer, lifting her arms so Carlisle could tug her dress over her head. She saw onyx flare in his gaze, but that amazing self-control kicked in and he pushed the beast aside as he carefully caressed her cheeks and then down her sides, pausing by her breasts that still were tender and glistening.

"I have to admit," he whispered through a slight possessive growl. "You have no idea what it does to me to see you marked by my venom, even temporarily." He leaned down and gently nosed along her shoulder, his hands sliding down to her hips, and he pulled back with a smirk. "And you're carrying my scent. It's intoxicating."

"Good," she whispered. Her human senses were to dull to catch it, but she remembered and she grinned. "I'm yours in every way." _Except one_ , she thought, knowing that sex was the true way to complete the mating, but he knew so she wouldn't say it. He was well aware of that and he looked pained for a second before he matched her smile.

"Join me?" she murmured, turning and tilting her head to the side as she gazed at him. He paused for a moment and he seemed satisfied with the confirmation she wouldn't push, and so he began to unbutton his shirt and let it drop. Her breath caught a little as she took him in again, silently admiring the beauty before her and not daring to touch until she moved passed it.

But beauty didn't begin to cover him. Soft pale skin covering hard unyielding muscle that held her oh so tenderly. The planes of him were sharp and perfect, following the lines of his chest down to a sloped V towards his groin. His legs were strong and well muscled also, ending with large nicely shaped feet, and he was perfect from top to bottom.

Her eyes slowly moved back up his body and she saw him smirking. "What?" she demanded. "You think I don't remember this body? I was just familiarizing myself with it again." She reached up and poked his rock hard stomach. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"You're amusing. But let's get you cleaned up quick so you can sleep. You must be tired." Another self-satisfied smirk had her snorting.

"I'm positively exhausted, big guy." She winked and held out her hand. Together they climbed in, him behind her so he could reach her and help her clean up, and also hold her tightly. They were in the bathtub for about half an hour, talking softly and lovingly to each other, and laughing when Abigail realized that the wedding was what Alice meant earlier by _"another event."_

Finally when she got pruney, she insisted on getting out. He wrapped her up in a large fluffy towel and helped her dry off and the climb into some pajamas. She had been telling the truth, though, she was exhausted and as soon as she curled up against Carlisle's chest under the blankets, she was out like a light, slumbering dreamlessly until her alarm rang.

**.x.x.x.x.**

"Too early," she grumbled as she knocked the phone off the table as if that would shut it up, but of course it didn't. She groaned and pulled herself from her mate's embrace, mumbling as he laughed at her, and reached to silence the offending noise. _At least I'm not hungover_ , she thought, remembering the champagne from the night before. But Carlisle either knew she was a lightweight, or being impaired by alcohol was too much for his protectiveness. And he never would've proposed if she was wasted.

 _He proposed_.

She bolted up in bed, blinking quickly as her eyes searched out the familiar ring.

"Abigail?" his alarmed voice said anxiously from behind her and she blinked again, turning back to him as he reached for her. She eagerly went to him and cuddled against him, allowing him to nuzzle her even though she wasn't upset.

"We're engaged."

Her words gave him pause and he slowly look back, eyes tender by unsure and guarded.

"Yes," he said softly, pride filling his voice.

A large grin broke over her face and she continued her habit of leaning up to drown him in kisses. "Thank god," she said with a sigh. "I thought I dreamt all last night."

"You dream about me?" he said, his voice full of childlike hope.

"All the time."

"And about becoming engaged to you?"

She nodded and smiled, caressing his cheek. "And marrying you." She paused. "And getting birthday fingered."

He paused and the noise be let out was halfway between a groan and a laugh. "Baby, I was _just_ able to calm down. What are you doing to me?"

She giggled and leaned up for a kiss just as the warning alarm went off. She glowered at it and reached over to dismiss it and sighed.

"Let's go get married today so I don't have to go to work."

"While I would love to, I'm pretty sure Alice wouldn't speak to you for the next century if you denied her this opportunity. She never got to plan our first one, you know."

His words made her pause and her mind rolled over them, and slowly she turned to him. She had gotten up to gather her clothes, but she wasn't sure what to make of what he said. Did he just forget sometimes that she was no longer a vampire, or did this mean he would turn her?

"The next century, huh?" she murmured. "You know I need to be a vampire for that to happen."

He froze and he suddenly refused to look right at her. His avoidance made her heart drop and she understood immediately what it meant. _Oh god, he messed up, he doesn't want to change me._ She felt sick. He loved her, he wanted her, but he wasn't willing to turn her. How was that to work? She would get old and wrinkly and die while he continued to look like an Adonis? And once she was dead for good just move on?

"Never mind. It was a mistake, I understand."

Swallowing thickly she rushed for the bathroom and closed the door quickly, thinking of locking it, but she knew she couldn't shut him out like that. Quickly she shucked off her clothes and got into the shower so the warm water could wash away her tears before she went back out to him again. She took longer than she should've in there because they wouldn't stop coming, but finally she got herself under control and climbed out. She dried off and dressed in her scrubs, brushing our her hair and braiding it. As she did so, she promised herself she wouldn't cry in front of him, though her mind went a mile a minute trying to figure out what she should say to him. After all, how were things to progress if she died _again_ in sixty years time and he was still as perfect and pristine and unkillable as he was right then?

Taking from his cue, she refused to look at him, but smiled brightly nonetheless. "I hope I remembered my badge. Usually it's in here, but I might've left it on my other scrubs." She hugged as she pulled up her purse and rummaged through it, shoving her phone and charger in it, ignoring the slight tremor in her fingers and pushing it off as lack of sleep.

He was quiet, too quiet, and for a moment she wondered if he left, but the hole in her heart would be much larger if he had. Granted it was growing by the moment, but it was manageable when he was close.

"Abigail," he whispered and she quickly shook her head.

"Don't," she said quickly. "You don't want to turn me. I understand. Don't feel guilty." But her heart squeezed, bursting with pain and he did look guilty, he looked so pained she nearly started weeping again— _oh god, he heard that, didn't he?_ —and so she took a step closer and leaned up to kiss him. "I don't need to be a vampire to see that you love me. I'm not going anywhere." She knew she probably should, because really, what kind of future was there? _There wasn't one,_ she thought miserably, and perhaps that was the point. Was he trying to make her leave? She doubted it, but she knew him, and she knew he would think it safer if she weren't with him. "For now." His eyes snapped up to her, horrified. "How can forever work if one gets it and one doesn't? How do you think I should react? I understand you're worried, but you have to try and see this from my perspective. I was a vampire and now I'm not, and the love of my life doesn't want me to be one." She sighed and glanced down to her feet. "I love you, Carlisle. And I'm with you for now. But...you have to let me decide if that is enough. If I can watch you stay twenty-three forever while I get old and gray and die." He flinched. "I can't promise it will be forever." She gulped, her hands trembling. "But...you do have to promise me that no matter what happens? Move on. When I die, don't die with me. Find someone who will make you happy." Her heart ached, because she wasn't sure she meant any of it. But she had to say it, if only to knock some sense into him, and what better way to do it than to threaten to leave? It was cruel and heartless, and she wasn't positive she could actually do it, but it's what she had to do to at least get her point across. She would have to cross the bridge of leaving if it came to that. She wanted to believe it never would, but the silence that met her ears made it so she wasn't quite so sure. Taking a deep breath, she avoided his gaze yet again and grabbed her purse, heading out of the room quickly. Every step was painful, but she made it downstairs and smiled brightly at the others, hoping by some miracle they didn't hear any of that and she chose to ignore the faces of those who clearly did. Which meant all of them.

"Morning!" she said brightly as she went over to get some grits that Jasper and Esme were making, but paused as he saw Emmett's face wrinkled up. She frowned and put a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong, Baby Boy?"

"I spent fifty years trying to get the sound of you two having sex out of my mind, and you went and ruined a perfectly good track record last night."

Abigail burst out laughing and she hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry you heard that."

"No you're not," he mumbled against her shoulder. "We weren't even safe at Edward's, you know."

"And you and Rose were any better?"

"No... But... You're my _mother_. It's wrong."

Abigail snorted and took the bowl that Jasper handed to her. "Don't worry, sweetheart, we'll warn you next time." She kissed his cheek and went to sit by Carlisle across from Emmett.

While he held her hand like usual, he didn't speak a word and she could feel the tension wafting off of him. She couldn't break it, though, because she was too hurt and confused, and she knew she would just start crying.

 _I can tell he wants me. I can tell he loves me. I knew that as soon as I woke in 1776 as a vampire. I knew he was mine and I was his. But now... Now I'm human again and he refuses. I can feel the bond, but what if it's not meant to be forever? What if the bond breaks at death and what we're feeling now is just residual? Or what if it's just got a time limit? If I hadn't died, would that bond have broken anyway? Would I have been alone forever? Will I die as an old woman and watch from the heavens as he gets his forever with someone else? Or maybe he thinks he's supposed to feel the bond and doesn't, but won't admit it and that's why he won't change me. Just feeling sorry that I came back to nothing, to be alone, and he feels guilty. When all he has to do is say something. If he doesn't want me, if my instincts are wrong and we're over before we even started, he just has to say it_ —

"Mom?!"

Emmett's voice rang out and Abigail snapped out of her onslaught of painful and agonizing thoughts. Edward looked ashen, even for a vampire, as he stared at her from across the table. And Emmett looked incredibly worried, having stood and hovered over her, and it was then she realized she was crying again.

_Damn it, no._

She wiped at them angrily, realizing Carlisle was no longer holding her hand, and she refused to look at him.

She gave Emmett a loving smile, surprised that it actually came out instead of being fake, and reached over to pat his hand. "I'm fine, dear. It happens. But I'm late for work. I'll meet you in the car, Carlisle."

She couldn't take it anymore. She stood, chair scraping against the wooden floor, and she spun blindly. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry again, not until she was alone and away from them— _I'm so sorry, Edward, you shouldn't have had to hear that_ —and she broke her promise. She grabbed her purse and barely made it out to the car before more tears nearly made her fall over, and she stumbled to the other side, yanking open the passenger door and sliding in.

Sobs wracked her body and she sat there huddled against the door like a child. The tears flowed and her heart broke laying bloody in her chest. She knew she did the right thing. It was something she hd to do. Either Carlisle would wake up and smell the roses and give in, or he would let her go. She honestly didn't know what she would do if it was the latter, but she had to try, even if that meant scaring him into it. But that didn't mean she _wanted_ to. Never in those nearly two hundred years together before had she ever thought she would say those words, never thought she would ever consider such a drastic measure. But that was before, before _everything_. Before she died, before she was reborn, before everything in her world changed. She didn't ask for it to change, she didn't ask for that nomad to kill her, and quite frankly she didn't ask for Carlisle to change her the first time. _He promised me the world. He promised me forever. And now he's going back on that promise, no matter if his intentions are good. Maybe I really should go, if he really wants me he can chase me this time._

The door opened beside her then and she forced the sounds to stop even though her body trembled. She sat up straight, wiping angrily at her eyes, keeping them ahead of her as she forced herself not to show just how much she was hurting. There was no sound, but a hand touched hers and with a start, she realized it was larger and colder than her mate's. Jumping, she looked over, but relaxed as she saw her Baby Boy sitting there staring at her sadly. She didn't know what hurt her more, the look of fear on his face or the fact that Carlisle had made Emmett come after her. Emmett could've chosen to come out himself, but she knew these brooding vampires, Carlisle would've sent him.

"I'm okay, love," she whispered, patting his hand and gave him a shaky smile.

"Don't leave us again, Mom," he whispered and she let out a strangled sigh, leaning over to throw her arms around her son's neck.

"I don't want to," she murmured. "I love you all more than I can even tell you. But...your father doesn't want me changed. And I've chosen to accept it."

"It's your life."

She paused. "If he doesn't want me in his forever, then I can't make him change his mind."

He pulled back and looked just as stricken as Carlisle did when she suggested he move on after she died, that all she could do was tug him back into a hug. They sat there for a couple minutes before she sniffed and pulled back, cupping his cheek as he watched her with anguish.

"Please, don't mourn me again," she whispered. "I'm still here and I will be until my last breath. I know years are nothing to you guys, but they'll be everything to me. I'll spend every second of my life guiding you and loving you and hopefully you won't hurt as much when I go."

In the end, it was truly her children that kept her there. She made a promise to Carlisle when they first became a couple this time around that she would never leave him. _"Promise me you'll be mine for the rest of your life,"_ is what he had said. She realized then that she should've listened to his words more carefully. The rest of _her_ life, but not the rest of _his._ She felt like a fool. If she wasn't so worried about the children, she would actually consider leaving that very day, or at least threaten to, if their future would consist of nothing but him refusing to change her and her arguing with him about it. It already exhausted her, but perhaps she could find a way to be the mother she needed to be, was _meant_ to be, and still put Carlisle at arm's length while he debated what was worth more: his own silly notions about vampires having no souls and refusing to change her, or being with her. The thought of doing so made her ill, stomach churning, but she forced it down. It was how it had to be, because Emmett was right, this was _her_ life and she chose to be changed. Nobody should be making that decision for her.

"That's not possible," he said thickly. His eyes were so sad, venom tears pooling in their depths, that she let out another sigh, her thumb stroking his cheek.

"You'll be fine. You're strong and you've gotten through worse before. You have a family and a girl who loves you." _Loves you enough to change you even though she thought she cursed you._ "I'm just a human. I know you'll never forget me, but when you remember, smile and don't frown."

"Mom..."

"Please, Baby Boy. I made your father promise to move on and live, and I'm making you and the others promise, too."

He looked alarmed. "He actually promised that?" he hissed.

She paused. "Not in so many words," she hedged. "But he'll have to. He'll be happier when he doesn't have to worry about me anymore."

She turned back to the window then, not seeing the look Emmett gave her. Silently he started the car and headed for the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Slight sexual content. Proceed with caution._ If you want to skip over it, the section will be marked with **.x.x.x.x.** before and after it. It won't have any plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. Thanks for reading, comments are love!


	27. Gone

**-Abigail-**

It felt like walking through mud as the day went on, growing thicker and thicker at her feet, and yet she didn't stop. She didn't eat, she didn't take a break. Dr. Eve tried to get her to, but she only stood by Mackenzie's desk for a couple minutes, seemingly lost, before going back to work. She could tell Carlisle didn't come in even before she saw Dr. Stark from the ICU down there. She got nothing from him, though, not even a text explaining. It was like that week they ignored her all over again, but so much worse because she knew what it was like to be with him now. It wasn't a dream or a wish, it had become reality and that's what how she realized her mistake. She jumped in with both feet with a man she thought she loved and who loved her, but she realized that all of her wishing was just that. It was a fantasy and the truth was, he didn't love her as much as she loved him. It even made her hate him a little for keeping that painting; if he didn't love her enough anymore, why keep it? Why veil it? Why keep it where she could see it when they knew she was remembering? Why not try harder to stay away from her?

At six-thirty, she started walking home. Dr. Eve had said that they were slow enough and she did enough, especially without taking her breaks, that she could head out early. She probably should've called Emmett to come get her, but she had to think about what she was going to do. Walking helped, even when it started to drizzle and soon she was soaked through to the bone and trembling. Let her get sick again, it might feel better than what she was feeling in her heart.

Only she didn't think much on the way, she couldn't. A car skidded to a stop in front of her, shock coloring her as she expected Emmett or Alice again, but the beat-up Oldsmobile wasn't their style. Her lips parted in shock as Dr. Jones stepped out with a sick smirk across his face, one that she had never seen on him before, or anyone for that matter. Immediately her stomach churning, dropping into her feet, and making her head spin.

"Brett?" she wondered, her voice trembling ever so slightly.

"You're mine, Abi," he hissed, her eyes widening in shock. "Don't you see that? I've done nothing but be your friend since you got here. And to thank me, you go off and fuck _Cullen_?" He gave a maniacal laugh. "Don't think so, Abi. Doesn't work that way. I don't spend months worshipping you to lose you to some other bastard. You're mine, you're going to stay that way." She was too frozen with shock and fear and disgust to see him reaching into his pocket for something. And it was too late to run as he lifted the object.

She saw the flash of a muzzle, and then everything went white hot...and dark as she bled out from the wound in her stomach.

* * *

When she woke, she was shivering and aching, and in so much pain she could barely breathe. Her breath huffed out quick and rough, her body trembled, and she whimpered, trying to sit up, but something stopped her. Her mind was too muddled and she couldn't figure out why, but when she went to rub her eyes, she realized she couldn't move her hands either.

Eyes blurry, she glanced up and with alarm saw her arms were handcuffed to a large, heavy metal shelving unit. And not only that, but her mouth was taped, her ankles were shackled, and she was only wearing her bra and panties. Revulsion and fear gagged her, and she tried uselessly twisting and yanking on the cuffs, only causing her wrists to cut and bleed down her arms. She was shivering too hard to be of much use to herself, and she tried to curl up to protect her modesty. Shame-filled tears made their way down her face, taking place of the heartbroken ones.

And she decided then she would rather die then continue to live in this basement another second, or with a man who had once promised her forever only to decided he didn't love her enough.

She curled up more and a laugh filled the room making her jump.

"Don't do that, sugar. Wanna see all the goods." _Dr. Jones!_ She looked around wildly, but saw nothing except the metal shelves, until something in the corner caught her eyes. Frowning at it, to her horror she realized it was a camera. There was a speaker next it it which was where his voice was coming from, and though she felt violated, she was horribly glad he wasn't physically in the room with her.

He laughed again. "Now now, do as I say and I won't hurt any of your little friends." Her eyes widened. She knew he couldn't hurt the Cullens or the packs, but Charlie, Beth, Billy, Sue, Old Quil... Tears falling again, she slowly shifted and heard him groan, her eyes squeezing shut as her stomach heaved.

* * *

**-Emmett-**

He had been sent once again to get Carlisle's mate and, though he loved his mother deeply, he was more than a little angry with his father. It was he that was making her feel this way, and it took all his self control not to say a word to him, or do something drastic like rip his head off. Most of his day was spent in the woods, hunting and generally getting his frustration out of trees and boulders. Between what Edward had heard and what she said to him, it was very clear what she thought Carlisle's refusal to change her meant. As the reality of the situation washed over him, Emmett saw any hope leave his face, and soon he took up post staring out the window and hadn't moved since that morning. _Hopefully to think about how much he screwed up,_ Emmett thought with a growl. If Abigail left, he wouldn't be surprised nor angry, no matter how much he wanted her there. Who would want to spend their life with a vampire who didn't want them there forever? Edward finally had to pretend to be him and call off at the hospital. He hadn't moved when seven hit and Abigail needed to be picked up, so Emmett grabbed the keys to the Mercedes and left, fuming.

 _I understand his worry, but goddamn, is this really worth it?_ They all knew her thoughts and words were just fears, at least they had been as Edward heard them, but what she said to Emmett told them that she was resolved in her beliefs and accepted her stance as human. It didn't sit well with any of the others, even those that had argued against her changing to begin with. But Carlisle refused to talk or move and they could only hope that bringing her home would pull him out of his state. Unless that is, of course, she came home and packed her bags and left. That was worst case scenario and Emmett refused to think about it on the way to the hospital.

But she wasn't outside like normal and so he waited fifteen minutes before sighing and heading inside. She probably got hung up, but he was starting to worry and he needed the peace of mind. He found the receptionist, Mackenzie, packing up and he gave her a polite smile. Her eyes widened and mouth dropped a little, but he ignored her reaction as he did with everyone else.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, ma'am, but is my mo— I mean, is Abigail Goodwin still here?"

Mackenzie frowned. "No, sorry, dear. She left forty-five minutes ago."

Dread dropped like lead into his gut and he nodded, thanking her before barely containing himself to run out. Her house was closest so he would check there first before calling Jacob and seeing if she was at the reservation, which she could walk to from the hospital in forty-five minutes. Only halfway there, he screeched to a halt as a familiar scent swamped his senses. He jumped out, raining pounding him, but he didn't care. He glanced around and found a dark wet spot that he thought for a second was a puddle, but he knew he was wrong.

He could smell it.

It was blood.

Human blood.

His _mother's_ blood.

He growled dangerously, his eyes immediately flashing to a murderous and angry black, and he turned, stalking back to the car and made it home in two minutes by going a hundred down the curvy roads. He didn't even stop the car fully before he was in the house, stalking up to Alice and sneering at her, causing Jasper to get between them with a warning growl.

"Where is she?!" he boomed, shoving Jasper away. He was angry, but he wasn't going to hurt her, he wasn't that uncontrolled and the slightest ease in Jasper's stance told Emmett that the empath could feel it.

"Wh-what?" Alice stammered in confusion, her eyes wide. Was the psychic seriously mystified?

" _Mom_! Where is she? You had to have seen she left early, Alice. She was gone forty-five minutes by the time I got there. I found her blood on the road."

Everyone gasped and Emmett blinked and suddenly Carlisle was there in his face, his own livid and full with wild fury.

" _What_?" he hissed dangerously.

Emmett's eyes narrowed, hands fisting at his sides. "Don't even think about blaming this on me. Who left her there alone all day? Who made her cry and feel worthless?" It as a low blow and he saw Carlisle flinch, his face filling with agony, but he didn't deny Emmett's harsh words. In fact, he didn't say another word, just backed up a couple steps. His eyes continued to fight between being haunted with the raw emotion of pain and sadness, while also trying to stay angry at the sudden disappearance of his mate. Emmett was ready to shake him, but he held back with a look from Edward.

"I-I didn't see it," Alice said, suddenly flashing out and back with a rain slicker on, holding Jasper's hand tightly. "I didn't see her leave."

"Look on the way. You're coming with me. Edward? You, too. You can check for her thoughts. And Carlisle, she's your mate, this is your shit to clean up."

"Emmett—"

"Get off me!" He tossed off the hands that touched his shoulder that belonged to Jasper. "She's out there _alone_ in this rain, lost and _bleeding_. He—" He jabbed a finger at Carlisle, "—is supposed to protect her, and he didn't. Now we're going to find our mother and kill anything that gets in our way. I'm calling Jacob from the car, he can get the packs out to help look for his sister."

With that, he spun and blurred outside, waiting all of two seconds before laying on the horn. Edward sat up front with him—mostly because he was the only one in the car not currently on Emmett's shit list—while Alice and Carlisle sat in the back. Alice kept her eyes closed, her brow furrowed in fear and concentration as she tried to find their mother. Carlisle stayed silent, looking out the window, listening as everyone heard Jacob's fury as Emmett explained the situation, and he was phased before the conversation even ended so Embry had to finish up the call, promising to help the best they can.

Emmett took them to the spot of her blood which was nearly washed away with the rain, but it was still strong enough to make the others hiss. Alice sat with an anguished look, still in the backseat, trying to find her while Carlisle stood to the side with his eyes squeezed shut, his lips moving quickly in silent words, and Emmett knew at least he was trying to reach out to their bond to find her. Since she was still human, it wasn't as strong as it should be, which made Emmett want to shove that knowledge down Carlisle's throat. But he stayed silent, mostly because of a look from Edward, and watched as his brother crouched down to eye the small puddle.

"It's not clean blood," Edward said quietly as he stood up, wiping his hands on his pants. "There's gun powder residue in there." Nobody spoke after that, they waited for Jacob, who showed up and growled at Carlisle before bounding quickly back into the woods before he was spotted to report back to the packs.

"I can't find her," Alice said finally, her voice just a sob. "I found her decision to leave early. She had worked all day, through lunch and everything, with no breaks. Dr. Eve had her leave a half an hour early. She decided to go home," She paused and glanced at Carlisle and they all knew that meant her house and not theirs, "but...it just stops. I don't know why. I can't... I can't _see_ anything." She let out a frustrated, pained growl and stood from her spot, pacing for a moment before climbing back into the car.

"There's not much more we can do here," Edward said quietly. "Her trail stops cold about ten feet that way..." He pointed in front of them and hesitated over his next words.

"What?" Emmett demanded, but it was quieter than his voice had been.

"I think someone shot her and put her in a car...and took her."

Nobody expected Carlisle's agonized howl, shaking nearby houses and causing the back window of the Mercedes to splinter. Slowly he fell to his knees, staring down at the ground as his body shook. None of them knew what to say.


	28. Hell

**-Abigail-**

Seven days.

Six nights.

In Hell.

Abigail was counting.

Luckily she wasn't conscious for the whole week, she was in and out of it, partly from the pain in her stomach from the wound, and partly from the flu she got when she had been out in the rain. The wound in her stomach had been sown up thanks to the good doctor/kidnapper, but it was obviously infected as it hurt something fierce and he hadn't bothered to give her any pain killers. Her arms and legs were numb from being where she was on the floor with her arms locked above her. He only let one arm down once a day so she could eat. It was the worse then, though, because she could barely stomach anything even though she was starving—thankfully he also brought water otherwise she would've already been dead—because she had to see him. She got violently ill every time he was close to her. He was clearly a voyeur and preferred to watch from his...wherever he was. But she knew that the vomiting wasn't from the fever or the stomach wound.

It was a reaction to being away from Carlisle, from being near this man that wasn't her mate, which made all this much worse.

She fought with herself, going back and forth between wanting to take him while she still had him, or let him go since he was perfectly fine with watching her age and die. It was better than thinking about Dr. Jones doing whatever it was he was up to. It allowed her to step back from her situation, to think over what had happened between the two of them, what had changed since 1776 when he was desperate to have her at his side forever, to now when he refused to. One would think that the thoughts would be all muddled in her mind, but they were clearer than anything else around her. She wanted to get back to Carlisle, and yet she wanted Dr. Jones to just kill her.

She never spoke that whole week, even when the tape was off—that was only during meal times—and so it made it much easier to think. She was still so torn, but she was able to focus on his image, his beautiful face and soft touches, and allow herself to pretend that she had been his continuously since 1776. That 1955 never happened and she never died. That they were happy forever and her ring wasn't in the hands of some pervert who was keeping her captive.

But then Jones told her to turn a certain way "so I can see that gorgeous body," and she was thrown back into the present as she forced herself to move. She only did it with thoughts of the humans like her that she couldn't risk by not doing as Jones said.

* * *

**-Edward-**

Edward stopped into the hospital to turn in Carlisle's leave of absence. But they all knew, no matter the outcome of this, he probably wouldn't be going back. If she died, he would either try to die, too, or go back to the window as a statue. If she lived and decided to stay with him, he would never leave her side again. If she lived but left him, he would probably go back to his response for option one. Edward sincerely hoped for the second possibility, but he knew the other two were more likely. The odds were severely stacked against him. Alice spent all day and night trying to find her, and Emmett spent his time with Carlisle and Edward himself trying to find a trace of her, but they had no luck.

Edward breezed by the waiting room to Mackenzie at the front desk. She had met him before and greeted him by name, but his face became stoic as he handed over the papers.

"My father is very close with Nurse Goodwin, you see. He's having a rough time."

She frowned sadly, but nodded in confirmation. "I'll file this right away, Edward," she said.

"Thank you, Mackenzie."

Since the culprit was obviously human—no vampire would shoot her and take her away in a car, and they certainly wouldn't leave blood behind—they decided to tell Charlie. Of course he was furious and started staging search parties and going door to door immediately. Edward only hoped his father-in-law didn't get hurt in the process, but Charlie was tough and had been a cop for a long time; he'd make it.

_Can't wait to watch that body when I get home. So fucking good... Really taught her to be a cock tease, didn't I?_

Edward's body slammed with shock and revulsion as he heard the thought when he walked out the door. Images flashed through his mind and he felt sick, watching the disgusting perversion he took in breaking in and setting up cameras around Abigail's house. They were still there, watching Beth and her boyfriend. And there were new images of Abigail slumped and tied up in a dirty room covered in dried blood.

His head whipped over and he barely contained his raged hiss as he leveled his gaze on the culprit.

Dr. Brett Jones.

Without thought, he jumped in his car and quickly pulled out with him, following him at every turn, making sure to keep time so he didn't lose him. When stopped at a drug story and picked up condoms, Edward had to resist from killing him. But he couldn't. Not until Jones led him to his mother.

Like a rookie, Jones didn't check if he was being followed. He was practically bouncing as he took his bags and went inside a shitty little house deep in the woods outside Forks. _No wonder we haven't found her yet,_ he thought as he got out and sniffed around, hissing as he caught her scent immediately. Dots of blood still stained Jones's back seat and his front steps. Quickly Edward pulled out his phone as he slipped inside an open window on the east side of the house, blurrying through until he found where Jones went and hiding himself around the corner to keep an eye on him, just in case he decided to make use of those condoms. He actually trembled as he fought not to go by instinct and slaughter him.

"Find something?" Emmett asked roughly, eagerly.

"Yeah. I found Mom." Emmett grew silent and then passed on the information to Carlisle who he heard growling in the background. Edward gave him directions, no time to tell them how it was he came across her, and hung up. He peaked around the corner to watch him toss the box of condoms onto a desk where he booted up an ancient computer, never once loosing the sick smirk. Edward waited for Carlisle and Emmett to show up, but kept an eye on the man he decided he would have no problem breaking his code of living to kill.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

The more she stayed there like that, the harder it was to breathe and she was nodding in and out of consciousness more often. She wasn't sure if it was the fever or the infection or just a combination of them both, probably the latter. And the sickest part was that Jones didn't seem to mind her state of unconsciousness; in fact, it seemed to turn him on more. The darkness was a much welcome relief when it came and she knew it was warm and comforting and she wanted to stay there.

_No more pain. No more heartbreak. Just take me. Please, I don't want to live—_

The loud, furious, heartbreaking roar startled her awake, though she wouldn't really call it awake in the full definition. Her eyelids barely fluttered, but she groaned softly and then whimpered. Something was familiar about that roar, but not at the same time. She felt she should know it, but blackness faded in again until she heard the basement door being thrown open and footsteps pound down it loudly, jarring her already aching head to split open in agony.

 _Not hungry..._ She thought, assuming it was Jones coming to give her food as he hadn't yet that day, and she turned her head away with a grunt, expecting Jones's sick laughter, but instead she heard harsh breathing, felt cool trembling hands, and a feeling like no other washed over her. It was familiar and yet so foreign, like she had it before and lost it so long ago. But suddenly her stomach no longer churned, though it still ached from the wound and infection, which last she knew still had the stitches in.

Oh, was someone talking to her? It felt like she was laying against a chest that was vibrating with sound. _I don't want to hear your words anymore, Jones,_ she thought. No, not Jones, this voice was soft and desperate and agonized and oh so warm, like a blanket that cocooned around her and allowed her to drift safely away from the curtain of pain and agony and desperation that had crawled into every fiber of her being for the past week and clung, refusing to let go. But now? This person? They made it all drift away as if it never existed, and she never wanted to let that feeling go again.

But she jerked back to life, the darkness fading as she felt her arms being moved, her muscles protesting loudly and her stomach screaming, crying out loudly in pain. When was the tape removed? Her voice echoed around the chamber and she felt a sob next to her ear, and suddenly her fingers longed for the feel of his honey blond hair.

 _Golden hair? Oh..._ Oh _! Carlisle. This is Carlisle, Carlisle is here. He saved me, he didn't let me die. Why didn't he let me die? I specifically asked to die. He doesn't want me. Just let me die._

She tried to mumble that, but it came out as nothing but a soft sound that was absolutely not an actual word.

"Baby? Oh god, Abigail, it's me. Can you open those eyes for me? Please open your eyes, Abigail. _P_ _lease_ , my love. I don't want to lose you, I _can't_ lose you."

_Can't lose me? He doesn't want me..._

She mumbled again only to hear another roar from farther away, muffled as if behind a door or something, and then a loud bang as someone fell down the basement steps. Suddenly her eyes shot open wide and she gasped, looking around in confused alarm, her body on high alert as she felt suddenly sick again, and she knew exactly why as the feeling was that familiar. It was the feeling that had its death grip in her for the whole week. She was panting, her eyes nearly blind as she looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. Too sick from infection and too deprived of food and water, she couldn't get her bearings, not right away, she didn't even see Carlisle beside her. Her eyes nearly rolled around in her head until slowly she focused on a pathetic, crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs.

Jones was bleeding from the head, body trembling in rage, and he was holding a gun. Abigail blinked, her mind not wrapping around the situation. Was Jones talking? He was. What was he saying? Abigail didn't know. She couldn't focus that well yet.

But he had something in his hand, something metal, and was pointing it at her. No, not her, but right beside her. At Carlisle.

Carlisle.

 _Carlisle_!

Her Carlisle.

No no no no no.

He can't hurt Carlisle.

Somewhere inside told her the metal thing can't hurt him, but she didn't care. The metal was dangerous, the metal could kill, it was why her stomach hurt so bad.

Carlisle can't die.

She couldn't breathe. It hurt too much, she was too panicked that Carlisle would be injured.

"No," she mumbled. Jones was still yelling, her head ringing and pounding, and soon footsteps slammed down the steps.

Jones took his chance before he lost it.

The metal made a loud bang and she screamed.

"No!"

She leapt in front of Carlisle.

_Protect Carlisle. Carlisle is good. Carlisle is love. Keep Carlisle safe. Carlisle must survive._

The pain was worse than the shot to her stomach— _was I shot?_ —because now she couldn't breathe. She was drowning, she could feel it, as she flew back and tumbled into the man behind her. She tried to gasp, but only gurgled and helplessly felt her lungs— _lung? Feels like only one is working_ —fill with warm, coppery metallic liquid. She recognized it as blood, but it didn't seem to process in her mind right. Why would blood be in her lungs? Why were her ears ringing? Why was everything so blurry and far away?

_Oh yeah, I got shot. Again._

It had been barely a second since the gun went off, and half a second later the loudest, most agonized roar hit her ears and she whimpered. Or tried to, but she just gurgled some more, lungs aching as she desperately tried to suck in oxygen and stay awake at the same time. Why was she staying awake? Oh yeah, Carlisle was there, she had to stay awake to say goodbye.

_Carlisle. That was Carlisle! Where is he? I need him. Is he safe? Oh, Carlisle, I'm so sorry. I'll miss you. Goodbye, my love._

"He's right here. Mom, can you hear me? Carlisle, she's thinking of you."

_Carlisle! Oh he's alive. Edward?_

"Yeah, Mom, it's me." There was a loud bang and Jones's screams went silent. Her stomach no longer ached, but her chest screamed as she tried to suck in air through the blood, her skin feeling like it was burning as the bullet hole also dribbled crimson from her weakening body.

"Why'd you do that, silly girl?" The voice was so full of pain it was barely anything more than a whimpered growl. "It wouldn't have hurt me."

"She's in too much pain. She can't think straight. She thought she was protecting you."

_I can't breathe!_

Edward sighed raggedly. "I know, Mom, it'll be over soon."

Over? Oh, over. Well, she begged for death and she's getting it. Carlisle is safe and he won't have her holding him back now. _He can move on. He'll be happy._

"God," Edward gasped. "She's thinking you can be happier now."

"No," he sobbed. _Why is the angel sobbing? I remember that, he was my angel. He_ is _my angel. Angels shouldn't be crying. He's free now. Don't let him cry._

"You have to think quick. She's falling, Carlisle. Let her die human, or change her and let her live as a vampire."

_Vampire? Yes, I want to be a vampire. But he doesn't want me to be. Just let me die. I don't want him to regret anything._

Darkness began to edge her vision—as much as she fought it—which had gone a hazy crimson as she was slowly numbing, the gurgling just little spurts as her lungs started to give and accept the fact she was dying. Only her heart, lungs, and brain were working as her body worked to keep her alive, all non-essential organs shutting down in the effort. But her lungs weren't going to last, filling up with blood, not having enough room for what she needed.

There was more yelling, more sobbing— _Don't cry, my angel_ —more attempts to breathe...

Then a sharp pain in her neck, and her whole world was burning.


	29. Alive

**-Carlisle-**

Three days was a long time to watch the love of your life writhe and scream in agony.

After Carlisle bit her, not being able to bear watching her suffer or slip way from him again—it was far too much like the battlefield—he, Edward, and Emmett got her out. Emmett sped home and Carlisle stayed in the back while she changed, his and Emmett's coats wrapped tightly around her cold, wounded body. She was so fragile he thought he was going to break her, but he never once let her go. They had to go fast so nobody heard her screaming as they drove passed, blowing all the stop signs easily.

The others were outside by the time they got home and together they helped get the bedroom set up, but after that Carlisle couldn't stand to have them in the room and he growled at them to "please leave," and they listened without a word. He would thank them later, but his mate was in agony and so vulnerable—up to and including her state of dress—that if anyone came near her, he's afraid of what he would do.

He stayed by her side for the full three days and thought over what happened in the past week or so.

She thought he didn't want her anymore. That's what hurt the most.

He thought she could feel what he did, and would know that's not true. But he understood, he supposed, because they'd spent a couple centuries together only for her to die and come back and him tell her he wasn't going to change her. He had warned the others of that, warned them how it would hurt her, but he supposed they forgot, even himself. He allowed her to love him and she convinced herself that he didn't love her anymore.

How could she think that? Didn't she know that she's the most important thing in all of creation to him? Didn't she know that he's never looked at another woman, never thought of them, the way he thinks of her?

And she expected him to watch her die and then run off with someone else.

_Never_.

He didn't know if he was more angry at her or himself, but deep down he knew he could never be angry at her. It was all self loathing that festered inside him, triggered by each scream she let out.

_At least she's not drowning in her own blood anymore._

This should've happened differently, so much differently. If he hadn't been so selfish and given her what she wanted, he could've done this right. Bathed her with love and affection before choosing a spot on her body together where she wanted his mark, and then she would have pain, but it wouldn't be another dose of it to continue the last week of suffering.

Thoughts of that man had him growling and prowling around the room. Edward had brought back the ancient computer after he tied up Jones, leaving him in only his boxers, much in the very same way he left Abigail. Emmett nearly killed him and the beast in Carlisle roared for him to die, but he wasn't willing to stoop to that level and become a monster in return. However, he nearly gave in once Edward and Jasper showed him—at his insistence—what was on the computer. He roared in fury and possessiveness as he watched the bastard's tapes—months' worth, nearly since she first move there the September before—in very private acts around her home. No sex, but changing and showering as bad enough. Jasper put everything on a disc—carefully editing out anything that looked to vampire-y—much to Carlisle's rage, and taped it to Jones's chest and dumped him outside the Forks Police Department. Nobody could figure out how he got in, but they were put in before she got close again with the family so they supposed that was how they didn't catch his scent. But that didn't make any of them feel better, and it took everything in his power to stop the others and himself from killing him.

"Charlie won't let anyone see those videos."

Charlie had called later the day that Jasper dumped Jones and sounded very very tired, and more than a little broken. Carlisle assured him Abigail was fine and on the mend, but in a medically induced coma to help heal, and she could talk once she's better. Luckily, the chief didn't fight much, it's not like they needed much of a statement since they had the evidence.

On the third day, her screams quieted, but she was still moaning and twitching. Carlisle had watched the chest wound heal first and then her stomach. She no longer was feverish from whatever illness she had, and her skin began to glow healthily again. It had been too pale and sallow, her cheeks sunken from a week of barely eating. Carlisle sat on the bed beside her holding her hand tightly as he tried to figure out what he was going to say to her when she woke up.

How was he to convince her that all her fears were wrong? He didn't want her thinking he changed her out of guilt or pity. Truthfully, he was elated he could have his second chance at forever with her. But he would spent the rest of that proving to her how much he loved her. He would prove that her fears were incorrect, and there was nothing on the planet that he loved more than her. She was his mate, his reason for even _existing_ , and if she wanted him to go then he would, but he would fight like hell first. She was worth the fight.

Slowly the sounds of her speeding heart slowed and then stopped all together. He held his breath as her movements stopped, her noises. She as utterly quiet and still and if it weren't for the changes he saw, the healed over wounds, he would say that she slipped off to death. But he could tell she didn't because in those moments before she opened her eyes, he could feel their bond strengthen. While it had been fraying as she pulled away, hurt and terrified the man she loved no longer loved her, it grew stronger and snapped back into place as if it never left. It felt even stronger than it had before 1955, maybe because they had to work and claw their way to it so much more desperately than they had before.

Bright red eyes greeted him a moment later. Each of them had them after they had been turned and so it didn't shock him, but he realized then how much he had gotten used to her eyes being gold. Or the green of her human eyes, he had definitely forgotten that until he saw her at the wedding reception.

He didn't move, didn't say anything as she took in her surroundings. He knew how it could be disorienting when you first woke up, and he was glad that she wasn't alone in this. He was right there and their whole family was downstairs so she would have the support that he didn't, something that he was glad the others did. He remembered how strong she was in the beginning, able to be around a human priest and not feed, and he hoped for her sake that it was just as easy this time around.

Assuming she wanted to be vegetarian still.

And assuming she stayed with him.

Now that her change was complete, now that the bond was strengthening, not something that he felt wrapped just around his heart, but it threaded into every fiber of his being, parts of it he hadn't realized ever existed. It felt stronger than even the first time, if that were possible, and he was fighting his beast once again as he needed to make sure she was alright, the need to take care of her overwhelming. But the beast wanted to complete the bond, snap that last little weak band that held between the two of them into place and take her, claim in her in the most primal of ways.

Seeing what Jones had done to her made him nearly unable to hold that beast back. The man violated her and he was sure from the purchase Edward saw—and the thoughts that made the young man sick and that he refused to tell—that it was about to get a whole lot worse. He barely held back the growl that the beast had rumbling in his chest, his lips clamping shut. The man had looked at her, touched her, used her, and the beast needed to roar—literally—it's ugly head and claim her.

He clamped it back, watching her cautiously as she sat up slowly. Well, slowly for them, he knew it was quicker than usual human speed because she actually looked a bit surprised. He had yet to touch her. Though he spent three days holding her hand and kissing her forehead tenderly, he knew it would take more than a soft touch and a kiss to make up for what happened. They had much to discuss.

Eventually she turned to him and it only took about a minute, but even to him it felt so much longer than that as he waited silent and patient for her to speak or do something. Even then she continued to study him and as strong as the bond became—and as much as he and his beast both purred with the fact she was honoring him with her gaze—he couldn't tell what her face read or what she was thinking. She looked nearly perplexed, but it morphed so quickly to something else and did so multiple times that he had trouble catching them all.

"I was dying."

Finally she spoke and her tinkling voice had his heart aching and his beast purring. While he loved her human voice, the lilt it took when she became a vampire was the most beautiful of sounds, the most splendid orchestra, the one thing that could make his undead heart give a beat again, as he swear it did just then. His beast had been upset as Emmett when it found out he wasn't going to change her and so that was the one thing that allowed him to keep the beast at bay recently.

"Yes," he said gently. How he ached to reach for her, to draw her in his arms and nuzzle her to help her relax.

"You changed me."

He paused, frowning slightly as he was unsure where these questions were leading.

"Yes."

"Why?"

He flinched. He deserved that. He deserved her questions and suspicions. Although she didn't seem suspicious or upset, her gaze was merely curious, her head tilted to the side in a way that made him think, _Adorable_. He studied her for a moment and had figured she should hunt first before the questions were answered. But, as usual, he was powerless to stop his need to take care of her, to make her feel better and give her everything that she wanted.

"I know what you thought," he started off by whispering. Her face fell a little and she glanced away, making him feel cold—even by vampire standards—and he knew he deserved that, too. "I heard your conversation with Emmett, and Edward told me some of your thoughts."

"You should've heard them first. I was going to tell you eventually."

The stark lack of emotion in her voice made him flinch again. Dull and lifeless as if she hadn't just woken up with forever in front of her.

"I know you might not believe me or even trust me right now. But I hope you believe me when I say that your thoughts are very far from the truth." She didn't look at him still, but her head tilted to show she was listening. "There's nothing in all of creation that I love more than I love you. You're the most important thing to ever exist to me. I don't think you can truly understand what it was like to watch you die that day, because unlike the first time, I couldn't change you and make you better. I failed you, as your husband, your partner, and your mate." He sighed shakily, glad she wasn't interrupting and hoped that she was listening carefully. "I spent thirty years with nothing but thoughts of you and your death to comfort me. I should've died like most vampires do after their mates go, but I thoughts it a more fitting punishment to be forced to live without you for the rest of eternity, and watch you die over and over again. I discovered over the years many ways I could've stopped it, but it didn't matter because you were already gone. February fourteenth 1984, I woke up. I don't know how or why, but everything was suddenly in focus and I felt myself living again. Don't get me wrong, inside I was still dead, because you were. But I was existing and I knew that my punishment must continue."

It was then he paused because she gifted him then with the sight of her soft, fond smile and he had to fist his hands at his side to resist reaching for her as his body ached. "What, my dear?"

"You woke up on my birthday. Literally my day of birth. I was born on February fourteenth 1984."

Wow. He never even considered that, but a quick count back from her recent birthday; twenty-three years had him nodding.

"I suppose the mating call was waking me up because it new you were coming." He paused. "The mating call never weakens and never goes away." He remembered the horror at hearing her theories. "It only gets stronger. And it's never a one-sided bond, it's something that has to exist within two people for it to even be there." He paused. "Do you feel your bond weakening?" He wasn't sure he was ready for the answer. If she said yes...

To his great relief she didn't. She looked hesitant as if she, too, were afraid, but slowly she shook her head. He let out a breath and nodded quickly.

"Neither do I. It's stronger now. But... You asked why. My reason for this story is to try and explain in words that don't seem strong enough for my intention, to get across my meaning and need for you to understand why I had decided not to change you."

She looked frightened and he barely bit back the beast who wanted to touch her.

"You got a second chance that no vampire ever did. You got to be mortal again, you got the chance at not being damned to this life. I know what you wanted, but I couldn't take that away from you again."

"So you regret changing me, then. Both times." Her hollow voice and horrible words had him panicking and without thinking, reached over to cup her cheek. Immediately his body relaxed, and he saw hers do the same. Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into his touch.

"No," he said thickly, firmly. "Never. Those years with you were the best of my existence. And being with you now, getting this second chance? I don't understand it, but we have it. I thought my reasoning behind not changing you was sound, but I know now I was blind. Because for you to have the second chance you deserve, and for me to try and make up for a fraction of everything I've done to you, you needed to change. Like Emmett said, it's your life. But you're mine. I thought I was doing the right thing, but the right thing was to listen to you. You wanted it, and as your mate I should've provided it. And I'm so sorry, my sweet Abigail. If you'll allow me, and if," he swallowed thickly, "if you'll stay with me, I want to spend our forever proving to you how much you mean to me and how much I love you."

She was silent then and he let her process what he was saying. He was sure he died a thousand times right then, waiting to hear her verdict, if she would grant him the absolute honor of staying with him and allowing him to prove his love to her. _And becoming my wife again._

Another minute passed and then another and if he could sweat, he would be drenched. As it was, he simply let his thumb stroke her cheek that he was still holding, basking in the feel of her skin beneath his fingers that, while he would miss the flush of her humanity, he loved the way she was so strong and unbreakable.

Finally, after another five minutes of agony, she moved quickly and he thought she even surprised herself. She moved from the bed to his lap in an instant, fingers winding up in his hair and tugging him closer, her arms tight around him. He froze in shock, sitting there for just a moment without moving, but then he unthawed and he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling into her neck like he had wanted to since the beginning.

She purred and he smiled; the sound meant so much to him. It meant that not only was she trying to comfort him, but she was content and happy. Despite everything, he made her happy and he vowed to never see a frown on her face for the rest of their forever.

Her grip was slowly tightening and, as most newborns, she didn't realize her own strength. He didn't want her to let go, but he sighed softly.

"Sweetheart, remember you're a lot stronger than me right now," he said as gently as he could. But as soon as her words registered, she was gone from his embrace and across the room with wide, fearful eyes staring at him. He was at her side a moment later, soothing hands on her arms. She didn't gift him by touching him, but she didn't move away again and that was precious enough.

"Hey, you didn't hurt me," he cooed softly, taking a step closer to her and taking a leap by leaning down to nuzzle her. "It'll take you a little while to get used to your strength, remember? But you won't hurt me and you won't break me."

She studied him for a moment and what she saw on his face must've soothed her before she reached for him again, this time her touch was more gentle. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her close to him. He gently ran his fingers over her back, instinctually leaning into nuzzle her, and was once again gifted with soft purrs.

"I love you," she whispered and his heart nearly gave another beat. He smiled against her skin adoringly, humming as he, too, began to purr, his beast content for the moment to just hold their mate and allow themselves to feel her presence close.

"I love you, too, sweet girl." She pulled back some, his eyes questioning, but then she gave him one of those most precious gifts he'll ever receive: she honored him with her kiss.


	30. Details

**-Abigail-**

While she had wanted to continue to believe her own sad thoughts about his motives, his words practically squelched any fight she had in her. Despite his words, she did believe him and she trusted him with every fiber of herself. It made her choke on guilt as she thought about her horrible words, both to herself and Emmett, and as soon as she could she would pull him aside and apologize to her son for putting that on his shoulders. He didn't deserve that and she was ashamed of her actions. At least, like Carlisle said, they had forever for her to make it up to him.

"Can I go see my children?" she asked once their lips parted, though honestly she was torn between needing to see them and taking a couple hours... Or days... Or weeks... And just not letting Carlisle out of the room, having her wicked way with him. His pause made her frown, though, and she tilted her head to the side. "I'm not going to hurt them."

He sighed. "I know. It's not that. It's just..." He paused again. "I haven't let anyone in here since we got back. I couldn't. You were injured and in agony." His eyes grew haunted. "You were so vulnerable and...and your state of undress..."

She suddenly flashed to the basement and wished she could forget, but had a feeling she never would. She winced and looked down quickly, seeing herself clean and in fresh pajamas, scrubbed of anything. She tugged up her top and saw smooth skin, no sign of a bullet wound. A touch to her shoulder told her there was smooth skin there as well. She faintly remembered having a fever, but of course that was gone well.

His face looked pained as she met his eyes again and she reached up to run her fingers along his cheek. "You better not be blaming yourself," she murmured. "I won't have that. I walked home alone, remember? I guess Charlie and my dad were always right." She tried to give him a smile, but he continued to look sad. She sighed. "Please don't, my love. That's in the past. Let's move forward." Plus, she would try everything to forget it ever happened.

"You know the kids won't hurt me, right?" she whispered then as a segue back to how they got on the topic of Jones. "I would've done the same had that been you. I understand. But I want to see them, too, Carlisle. Just for a little bit. And then we can lock ourselves away and I'm all yours."

His eyes lit up and darkened at the same time, desperation coloring his face before he sighed and slowly shook his head. She frowned.

"You need to hunt first."

It's as if his words lit a flame in her throat. She hadn't even noticed her thirst then. Her eyes went wide as her hand drifted to her throat as if that could extinguish the flames. He nodded and took her hand, tugging her for the window.

To both their shock, she was an absolute natural, just like before. She took down two deer before finding a black bear and drinking that down. Frankly she was ready for the red eyes to be gone, so the more animals she drank, she figured the sooner she would have her topaz eyes back. She sort of missed the green already, but she wasn't completely partial to them.

She sighed and smiled in contentment as he wiped blood off the corner of her lips and kissed her. "That hit the spot," she said. He chuckled.

"I'm sort of surprised you didn't go hunting right away."

She shrugged. "I'm over that newborn deal. Been there, done that."

He laughed louder. "Really? You're fine?"

She nodded. "You said Bella was good at control, right? Maybe it's that." She shrugged. "Or maybe I'm picking up where I left off. I don't feel any thirst now. It's like the deer and the bear made up for fifty years or something."

He nodded, looking lost in thought as he took her hand and together they ran back for the house. They had gone further out so she could find bigger game and she was glad to have that bear. The bigger the animal, the less gamey they were and the better they tasted. She never tasted a human and knew that was the ultimate essence, but what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. The animals were more than fine with her.

_Especially with Carlisle here,_ she thought with a loving smile directed towards her mate. The thought made her stop right there and he felt as soon as her hand had slipped from his and he, too, stopped a couple feet away.

"Are you alright?" he asked, worried, as he put his hands on her shoulders.

She nodded and surprised him by leaning up for a demanding kiss. She heard him gasp and his arms tugged her closer and up off her feet. _Did becoming a vampire make me shorter?_ she thought with annoyance as she seemed to be dangling more than usual. But the thought was pushed away as she wrapped her legs around his waist and used her body to push at him until he spun and pushed her back against a tree. She hissed and deepened the kiss, her tongue tasting his mouth. She decided it was much worth it to change if he tasted this much more delicious than he had before.

After a few minutes, he pulled back, eyes warring between soft with affection, and heated with desire. "What was that for?" he growled quietly.

"I love you so much, you have no idea," she breathed and his whole body softened. "You keep saving me. This is one of so many. And I can never thank you enough for it."

"Just stay with me."

"You'll never lose me, my love."

That earned her another kiss that eventually he pulled away from and she pouted, but he pointed out she wanted to see the kids and she grinned widely. She hopped down and took his hand, tugging him back for the house quicky.

Today was quickly becoming the best day of her life. She was a vampire again finally, not stuck to live and die in only a blink of time as a human. And she has Carlisle back, fully and completely. Now that she was a vampire, her dull human senses gone, she could feel the bond there. It had strengthened as she lay there changing, and she had felt even before Carlisle spoke all of his inner turmoil and pain at her questions. She had loathed to ask them, but they were out before she could stop them. As a human she couldn't feel the strength of his love for her, it was too much for a human to bear, but now it was there covering every inch of her body like a soft blanket, making her feel warmed and cared for and loved. It felt stronger than it had been before, perhaps because they had fifty years apart, and while she hadn't been privy to those years, she felt them then like a giant hole carved into her chest. She couldn't tell if it was the bond creating them or Carlisle's pain, but she figured it was both and it made her need to care for him that much stronger because she knew that what he felt over those years was a thousand, a million times stronger than what she was catching. Silently her fingers gripped his more and she promised herself to work on taking care of him later.

As soon as she stepped inside, there was a loud commotion and then she was swept up into strong arms. She heard a warning growl from Carlisle and knew he probably told them not to touch her or at least to go easy, but she knew her children and that the request had gone in one ear and out the other. And she knew the arms she was in, feet dangling, and a look of pure joy and love and affection crossed her face as she squeezed strong shoulders—careful with her own strength—and pressed her face to her youngest son's neck.

"Baby Boy," she purred softly, happily, fingers running through the short curls at the back of his neck.

"Mom," he murmured. "You're back!"

She chuckled lightly. "I'm back," she confirmed.

"Your eyes are freaky."

She laughed. "Says the vampire."

"You're staying here?"

She hesitated only for half a second, but Carlisle answered for her. "Yes."

She grinned. "Yes, I'm staying, Emmett." Everybody was silent for a moment. Of course she would never leave if she could help it. She hadn't wanted to die and leave them. They were her family, the ones she had dedicated herself to take care of and love and nurture and mother. She felt like a failure for doing so, but she would make it right.

After that, she was passed around like she had before only to wind up back in Carlisle's embrace, which she snuggled into in their usual chair. Conversation was light until Alice came bounding into the room with a binder and a large smile on her face.

Abigail eyed it. "I'm afraid to ask what that's for."

"Your wedding, silly!" she exclaimed.

Abigail sat up quickly then, eyes going wide. "Where's my ring?" she asked, her voice panicked as she realized that it wasn't on her finger. She remembered then that Jones had taken it and she heard a hiss from Edward as he heard her thoughts. "Did you guys see it?" She was desperate. Carlisle could get her another one, but that ring was irreplaceable, and not just because it was a priceless antique, but because he gave that to her so long ago when he promised to devote himself to her as he said, _"I do."_ It showed everyone that she was his.

"Oh shit, I did, sorry," Emmett finally said and held up a finger, flashed from the room, and was back a second later.

"Language," Abigail snapped to him as he came back and he just grinned. He held it out to Carlisle as she sighed in relief and Carlisle gently took her hand. He slid it back in place. She smiled and leaned in to take a tender kiss from his lips, her eyes flashing as a pillow hit her side and she looked over at Emmett who was wincing and grinning at the same time.

"Get a room!" he called.

She sighed in aggravation. "Don't test me, boy." He simply roared with laughter and she shook her head, exasperated.

"Anyway," Alice announced over their voices and gestured back to the book. Suddenly all the guys and Bella had something to do and were gone a moment later. Only Carlisle stayed and only because neither of them were quite ready to let the other out of their sight.

"That's a big binder for such a small wedding," she pointed out wryly.

"That's not the only one," Carlisle said, amused at the look of horror Abigail shot him.

" _Small_ , Alice," she said firmly.

"This _is_ the small one," the pixie insisted. "Vampire, spring, outdoors if possible but with a backup indoor plan, and no humans."

"No humans?" Abigail asked confused. "Charlie, Billy, Sue, Old Quil..."

Alice looked uncomfortable. "Mom... You're a vampire now."

"Yeah, I noticed." She pointed to her face and her crimson eyes.

"You're too... _new_. You could hurt them."

"I'm two hundred and fifty-three years old, I'll have you know." She sighed at Alice's look. "We had a human priest the first time we got married, and I didn't eat him. Not even a nibble. Tell her, Carlisle." She patted his arm and gestured to their daughter.

He chuckled warmly. "She's right. She did perfectly. And I think she'll be different this time. More like Bella. It's like she picked up where she left off."

Abigail nodded. "I'm not thirsty. I've never tasted human blood and I never plan to." She paused. She had, but only her own, and that didn't count as she hadn't meant to choke on it, and she was still human when it happened. "If I didn't think I could handle it or that they were in any danger, I wouldn't even suggest it."

Alice and Carlisle exchanged a look before nodding. "Alright, I'll be right back." She was gone and back in a second with a new binder, the same size, but the writing on the front said, **Vampire, Spring, Outdoors, Humans.**

"You really planned for everything, didn't you?"

Alice nodded excitedly. "I have one for every possible outcome! If you were a vampire or not, every season of the year, indoors or out, and then humans or not."

Abigail had to admit, she was impressed and a bit proud and she smiled at her daughter. "I'll hand it to you, you're organized." Alice grinned with the compliment. "Shouldn't we hold it inside anyway? I mean, I think Charlie's the only one who doesn't know about us. How would we explain to him we need to move it inside if the sun comes out?"

"We'll have it in the early evening, like Bella and Edward's. The sun won't be shining on the east side of the house, so we'll have it there."

Abigail nodded. "So how much do you have in there? Have you actually decided on stuff?"

"Yes and no. Food, cake, music yes. But things like the colors and the dresses, no. Those are all you, you're the bride."

_Bride_! She gazed over at Carlisle who smiled at her lovingly and kissed her temple before nuzzling her. At least the nuzzling the kids were used to.

"Maybe we can head into Port Angeles sometime this week since there aren't any dress shops in Forks. Or maybe even Seattle."

"Port Angeles is fine," Carlisle said quickly, stiffly. Dress shopping meant he wouldn't be there and she understood him not wanting her four hours away. Port Angeles would probably be pushing it enough. She reached for his hair and nodded.

"Port Angeles it is," she confirmed. "I'll take a half day and—" She paused. "Am I even still employed?"

Carlisle looked uneasy for a moment. "Well, we had assumed that you would be more wild than you are, so we used...what happened...as an excuse saying you weren't ready to go back." It made sense and she winced a bit at the reminder—something she had been avoiding as much as possible—causing Carlisle to nuzzle her.

"What about you?" she wondered.

"I've taken on the role of your personal physician and will only go in if they're understaffed."

She let out a breath and nodded. "Good," she confirmed. She didn't think she could be away from him that long.

Another thought popped into mind as she tried to focus on anything but the previous week and turned to Alice. "Can you get Bella back here? I want to ask her a favor."

Alice looked surprised for a moment before her gaze unfocused and then snapped back and she grinned. She quickly called Bella as Abigail laughed. Of course she saw her question.

It only took about a minute for Bella to get back with Edward and Carlie. "So," Abigail started, "my father's dead." Bella raised an eyebrow.

"Yes..." she hedged.

"I was hoping you would be okay with Charlie giving me away."

Bella's lips parted in shock but then she grinned widely. "Of course I don't mind! He would be honored, Abi." Abigail lit up.

"That makes me so happy!" It was decided then that Bella and Rosalie would be bridesmaids, Alice would be maid of honor which almost made the girl cry, Jasper and Emmett would be groomsmen, Edward would be best man, and then Carlie would be flower girl. Abigail really wanted to include Jacob somehow and they decided to ask him to get ordained to carry out the ceremony. She knew Carlisle would rather have a priest, but Jacob marrying them was Alice's idea and the look of pleading on Abigail's face finally made him agree. Abigail knew it wasn't fair because she knew that he always gave into her, but Jacob not being included at all felt wrong. This way her brother could be part of her day.

Port Angeles was planned for Monday morning, and even Bella agreed to go. None of the cars could fit all five of them, so they would be taking Carlisle's Mercedes and Rosalie's BMW. With a gentle coaxing from Carlisle, the girls agreed to bring Emmett along. They were vampires and could take care of themselves, but Carlisle newly found his mate and had those feelings that came with newly mated pairs, so there would be no talking him out of it. They all knew he would rather go, but he was the groom and he couldn't see the dress beforehand.

Once it was all decided and settled, Abigail slipped off Carlisle's lap and pulled him up into he waiting embrace. "Sorry, ladies, you must excuse us. We have some business to attend to."

The answering smirks told her they all knew what _"business"_ she spoke of and she simply winked and pulled Carlisle for the stairs. The day with her children was wonderful, but the longer it went on, the higher the craving for her mate was. She tried to hold it back, but they hadn't properly consummated their bond and it was time they did.

She didn't plan on leaving the bedroom the whole weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirty: 
> 
> \- [Hunting](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirty_second_chance/set?id=220361865)


	31. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Sexual content. Proceed with caution._ If you want to skip over this chapter,that's fine, it won't have any plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. :) Thanks for reading, comments are love!

****-Carlisle-** **

Carlisle remembered very vividly all of the hours they spent making love. A few times it lasted for days, a couple times it lasted for weeks. They didn't get tired, they didn't need food or air. They just lost themselves in each other and didn't come out until they were satiated, and even then they still craved each other. Those days were before the children, though, and they knew it was more limited that they would get times like this alone.

Especially with Emmett around. He groused if his mother was gone for too long, and would come banging on the door to complain in disgust if they were too loud.

The boy did love his mother, Carlisle would give him that.

But the children also knew how much they needed this time. Those left in the house were gone as soon as the bedroom door had been pulled open to allow Carlisle and Abigail inside. They hadn't had the chance to consummate their mating, at least not in Abigail's new body— _ _Is it new? It has to be, if she's a virgin again; she was reborn.__ —and he knew she was rather frustrated that they hadn't.

The knowledge that she was a virgin again excited him in ways he could never really comprehend or manage to express.

However, he was fully aware of such honors she's bestowing upon him. It was a precious gift to even have her eyes on him, to be in her presence and have her attention. But when she presented him with the most spectacular of all gifts with her touches, her kisses, her mind, her soul, her heart, her body...

He had no words to describe the type of joy that brought to him. Every single time they came together as one, even if it was a simple chaste kiss in passing, he thanked whatever deity that was listening, that brought her to him and thought him a worthy mate for a woman like her, with fervent prayers and deep gratitude. He never thought himself worthy, but something did, and he spent too much time taking that for granted.

He never would again.

It seemed they had been correct in her picking up where she left off as it took them all of a third of a second to reach the bedroom. It occurred to him that the one they had been using was simply a guest room as his was down the hall, but he had no wish to tell her this now because she was currently busy pushing the door open, nearly flinging it closed with her foot, before she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and shoved him against it, her delicious lips attacking his.

His mind went blank then, full of shock and adrenaline and lust, as her small body pressed and wiggled its way against his firmly, reaching up to wrap her arms around his shoulders and tug him down. At the same time that happened, he pulled her up off her feet, lips hungry and desperate over hers as he let his mind go and allowed the beast take over, hearing the roar of victory in his head. He growled under the assault of her lips, hands and fingers desperate as he turned them around and pushed her against the door instead. He heard a crack, but it didn't break, and for that he was grateful as they would have to find a different room if it had, and they had no time for such frivolous matters.

Despite the need pulling at him, despite the beast being in charge, he knew he would be careful and attentive. It was true, the vampire body could handle a hell of a lot more than the human body, and she wouldn't be in any pain, even soreness, after their activities halted. Not that they really had any plans for that to happen anytime soon. But he wasn't about to risk that for his own selfish desires.

The moan she gave him was beautiful and he actually felt a slight tremor in his hand as he held her to the door, careful not to make the crack they heard larger, and instead tugged her away for the bed. He feared for that, too, but at least they wouldn't have to change rooms if it broke.

She hummed against his lips, her body beginning to wiggle against his and it was then he realized she was trying to reach for her clothes and they were simply too close together for her hands to get there. Not that it was a bad thing, of course, Carlisle preferred them close with every part of them touching that could be. As it was, he still felt too far away from her and so he laid her out over the bed, and with one swift move of his fingers, the silk pajamas she had been wearing were shredded and tossed aside like nothing.

She gasped against his lips, her body arching against him. She had only panties on now as when he had changed her after cleaning her up, he had just forgone the bra and put some simple white cotton panties on her. As it was, that was far too much to be between him and her body, but her hand on his wrist had him pulling back slightly with a question in her eyes.

They sparkled in mirth right back at him, the red having changed to black just like his own were. He could smell her arousal and he growled lightly as the beast roared at being stopped. He wanted her, he needed her, and he would have her. They needed to consummate their mating bond, and he wouldn't be leaving this room until he had her as many times as it took to satiate them both.

"I know I have good self control," he growled, "but even I can't control the beast when he needs you now that you're unbreakable."

She giggled. "I understand. However, I refuse to be the only naked one here. So the beast will just have to wait a moment."

The answering growl was low in his throat, only to change to a roar as she, too, ripped through his clothes and tossed them away like they were nothing. She couldn't have done that a week ago, and she looked very proud of herself as he was left naked except for boxer briefs.

"There," she purred proudly. "Perfect."

And then she attacked his lips again, giving into the beast as it bounded from its cage to take her. Carlisle knew she could handle it, or he would've kept it locked away, just like on her birthday.  _ _Was that really only a week ago?__  But now she was like him and the beast could be set free.

Luckily, he knew, she wasn't too partial to the panties because those were tugged off roughly and he was pretty sure they would be of no use to her after, but he didn't care enough to look. Once they were gone, his fingers pressed against her entrance and didn't waste any time before sinking inside her, and he felt her mewl against his lips. He smiled and gently pumped them, needing the peace of mind that came with prep because, even though he was pretty sure she wouldn't be hurt, he would feel better if he did it.

She began to wiggle under him, hips trying to rock hard against his fingers in an attempt to get them harder and deeper. He growled softly at he movements, his free hand reaching to still the movements of her hips. She whimpered then, and he knew he couldn't keep this up for too long because he needed her as much as she needed him.

"Carlisle," she whined, the noise going straight to his cock and he growled again. He knew what that meant, he could feel it. She was so wet inside and he wanted nothing more than to feel those walls around him. He supposed it was the man in him that needed the prep because the beast was ready to go. Still, he pumped a few more times until she was whimpering again, her voice softly begging. "Please, baby, I need you... Please take me..." Well, he would be a fool to resist that.

He took no issue in ripping away his own boxer briefs and they were naked together, his hard cock resting against her thigh as he pulled his damp fingers from her core. Her eyes were heated as they looked at each other, her watching him carefully as he brought his hand up to lick his fingers clean of her essence. He groaned and she growled, her legs coming up to lock tightly around his waist, yanking him towards her. A moan left both their throats as he felt the head of his cock spear apart her lips, and he reached to yank her leg higher which opened her up more to him.

"So perfect," he groaned and then he began to sink inside her. He remembered from the first time he took her virginity, back when she was taking his as well and he was more naive, that she had begged him to go harder. Apparently that wasn't any different now because he could tell by her whine that his slow sink wasn't enough, if the rocking of her hips was anything to go by.

"Carlisle, please don't tease me. _ _Harder__." He growled and though the instinct of the man told him it was her first time, she needed slow and easy, the beast roared that she wasn't human and she wouldn't be hurt, so he could take her as he pleased. Well, as they  _ _both__ pleased.

He pulled his hips back, her eyes going wide in disbelief for a second as if he were going to pull away completely, but he was simply getting a better angle. Hiking up her knee a little bit more, he shifted his own hips, and then slammed inside her, filling her completely with himself.

He roared as she screamed, her head throwing back against the pillow, her hands tearing into the soft sheets underneath them. He couldn't help but smirk at the reaction, though he was glad that he didn't give into her begging while she was human, even as tempting as it was.

He waited only half a second for her to get used to the penetration before he began to move, rocking into her fully and harshly, feeling the way her body bounced against him. He groaned as he buried his face in her neck, smelling her arousal and his own scent mingling on her skin; it was addicting. As his mate, he knew that she would always be carrying his scent, but in the middle of sex, he couldn't hold but growl out and keep his face pressed against her skin as their bodies moved together.

Slowly he trailed his lips down her throat to her chest where he captured a pink nipple in his lips. She whimpered, fingers raising to bury in his hair, and he let out a self-satisfied, content purr, bathing each of her nipples with his venom. His eyes were wide with delight as he pulled back some to watch them sparkle in the light, and then he lowered himself back onto them. Even as a vampire, they seemed just as sensitive as her clit did, and he wanted nothing more than to give her absolute pleasure.

It had been far too long for both of them, and with Abigail in her new body, the feelings were that much more intense. She was whimpering and arching, her delectable body writhing and rubbing against him making him growl again. He could tell she was close and with the feeling of being inside her for the first time in fifty years, and the bond strengthened so their emotions were being shared, he was getting that much closer, too.

"Come for me," he growled to her, picking his head up from her breast so he could stare down into her eyes. Hers were wide and full of lust, and it was enough that he actually rocked into her harder. "Come for me, Abigail. Come on, baby, let me feel you around my cock, scream for me."

She shuddered and it seems that was all it took, his words and the continuous motions of his hips. She screamed them, mostly his name which made him roar again, and soon he was coming, too, filling her up.

"Ah, fuck," he cursed as he pumped into her, hips stuttering as he rode our his orgasm, catching her lips and kissing her desperately. She was so perfect, squeezing around him and wiggling until he shuddered to a stop, laying over her and panting softly as if he were actually out of breath. "God..."

She giggled softly, her own voice a bit breathless, and her fingers ran up into his hair again, one hand across his back as he fell onto her. Of course he was still hard and aching and inside her, but they paused for a moment to bask in the feeling of being together once again, being completed.

Their bond was now consummated. If Carlisle was protective before, he was about to become insufferable. Male vampires were worse than females when it came to that, though there had been a few times in their lives together that Carlisle witnessed first hand her wrath when it came to possessiveness over him. It made him smug that his wife was strong enough and felt that kind of depth for him. He enjoyed seeing her strength like that.

He knew that the others would be around her, and though the beast complained, he would learn to deal with it. When they first consummated it, they had been alone. They didn't have anyone else until Edward in 1918, so the beast was well contained. But this felt like new again and so it was why he felt the new stirrings of possession around her like he had when their relationship was in its infancy.

"That was perfect," she purred, breaking him from his thoughts and he pulled back some from where his face had fallen into her neck to look up at her. He grinned at the look of satisfaction and joy on her face, leaning down to kiss her deeply. He didn't bother with words, he showed her by thrusting his hips softly against hers, making her gasp. The next moment found him on his back, her straddling his hips, and he moaned as they got started once again.

 


	32. The Ruse

**-Abigail-**

The rest of the weekend and well into Monday morning found them taking each other softly, roughly, and everything in between. Neither could say they were completely satiated as they had fifty years to make up for. But, they were satisfied for the moment because they had work to do. Alice would be up soon to drag Abigail away for dress shopping with the other women, and Carlisle had to work with the other men to figure out what to do. During their down time, which was only about two minutes in between each round if that, they discussed the situation. Clearly Abigail couldn't go back to work; she was much too different. Not only her eyes, but her skin was different. The lines of her body were a little bit sharper, she did indeed shrink an inch or two during transformation, and her hair was slightly different as well. Not to mention she was colder and much stronger than she had been the previous week. And while she was confident—as was Carlisle—that she was strong enough to avoid slipping and drinking from humans, they didn't want to take the chance.

So it was decided that they would tell everyone—except those on the reservation and Charlie—that she died, and Jones had killed her. Carlisle worked tirelessly to heal her, but it was unsuccessful. Billy, Sue, and Old Quil knew of the secret and while Charlie didn't, he knew Bella had _"changed"_ and knew not to ask questions, so they knew he could handle Abigail's change as well. Plus Abigail refused to hurt him that way by faking her death, and they all knew since he would be around for Bella, it would be easier for him to know Abigail was alive and keep that fact a secret rather than having to hide each time. The guys would be making calls and arrangements, first to those in on the secret—which would also of course include the packs besides the humans—and then tell the general public of her demise. Jones would be tried for not only her kidnapping, but also her murder. The charges filed were kidnapping, assault, attempted murder, harassment, molestation, and now murder would be added onto that. Considering they had the video evidence, there would be no way he was getting free. Of course a body has to be produced, but as a doctor, Carlisle had contacts in science labs for cadavers and could get one of general height and weight to Abigail to be cremated in her place so there would be no questions. There would also be evidence they would provide to Charlie so they could show it at the trial, like medical records and such.

Frankly Carlisle wasn't thrilled about the idea because he would be forced to go in as a witness in court since he not only was one of those that found her, but also took care of her in an attempt to save her. And he would also have to go with the rest of the family and the packs as a mourner, but he had already told her since he knew the feeling as he had experienced it before, he would be fine. The wry comment earned him some fingers in his hair. But other than Charlie, the packs, and those three humans on the reservation, the rest of Forks would think Abigail Goodwin was dead.

"That includes Beth," Abigail had remembered during one of their intermissions and she decided to write up something and have Jasper help her fake it so the house and money was left to her friend, as a will of sorts, so she wouldn't have to worry about moving or losing it. While she was sad she would never see her again, Abigail knew the less people that knew, the better. There was no getting around the packs, Billy, Sue, or Old Quil knowing, and she had begged for Charlie to be included.

"And I still want him to walk me down the aisle." She had pouted until Carlisle gave in, earning a squeal and a blow job from her as her payment of gratitude. It would all be arranged as soon as Monday arrived and they finished with their consummation, but also so they could give people the weekend for some happiness.

Around eight AM, Carlisle finally dragged them out of bed, bathed them both in a quick bath, and then helped her dress before tugging her downstairs an hour later. She was pouting, but burst into laughter at the disgusted look not only on Emmett's face, but those of the rest of her children as well. "Did we interrupt your weekend?" she said with a self-satisfied smirk, hands on her hips as she looked between them.

"No," Emmett grumbled and looked away.

"I'm sorry, Baby Boy," she cooed to him, ruffling his hair and he just mumbled something at her because they all knew she wasn't sorry.

"Ready?" Apparently Alice was done waiting as she was dressed in a coat and rain boots, ready for the drive up to Port Angeles. It was pouring outside and Abigail was glad not only for the garage they had, but also for her new vampiric speed so she wouldn't get soaked. As it was, she wished she had a hat or something, but just went with a raincoat over her plain white shirt, lavender cardigan, and dark denim jeans. She had flats on and decided she would risk it as she didn't feel like going to search for socks and some boots that would fit her. Her bag was sitting on the floor by the front door and she pulled out her chain that held all her keys, and held them out to Carlisle, who raised an eyebrow.

"One's for my car, one's for the front door of the house, one is the back, and one is the deadbolt on the outside basement door. Since Beth is getting the house, she can have them. But," She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, quickly scribbled while Carlisle had been getting dressed, "there are just some things I want from there, and I figured in your work today, you might be able to stop by and get them?"

He nodded and opened the list. Most of it was books, the precious ones she had kept up in her bedroom. There were some articles of clothing including the dresses she had worn to the wedding, the dinner party, and her birthday party. She wanted her scrubs as well, and some random odds and ends like cell phone charger, some makeup, and her hair brush.

"You know we can replace all of this," he said, not unkindly, just matter of factually.

She nodded. "I know. But the books have notes in then from my dad. The dresses I just love. The scrubs...well I figured eventually I can get another nursing job, and that'll save me having to get new ones. The other stuff isn't important, but just stuff I thought of that I liked. If there's anything else you see that you want to grab, go for it." She smiled and leaned up to kiss him. He deepened it immediately with an arm around her waist and a quick tug against his body, making her undead heart feel like it was racing even though that was impossible. They only pulled away when Emmett cleared his throat in disgust and Abigail giggled, watching as Carlisle grinned down at her.

"I'll text you when we get there and on our way back," she said, and he nodded. She noticed the appreciation on his face and she squeezed his hand, letting him go. Already she felt cold, at a loss and her body screaming for her mate, but it would only be a few hours and she would be back in his arms. And truthfully she worried more about him and what he would have to endure. He knew of course that she was alive still, but he had to spend the day pretending to mourn her and while he would be able to come back to her once it was done, she knew he spent fifty years in mourning and she didn't want him to slip into that depression again. She knew him, could feel what it felt like for him, and wanted to protect him from that. For now, it was unavoidable, and that tore her up inside. But in the end, it would be for the best. They just had to get through this week.

"I love you," she murmured and gave him one last chaste kiss. He smiled softly.

"I love you, too. Be careful." She nodded, knowing she didn't need to argue with him about the fact she was invincible again, and finally followed the others outside.

As discussed, Emmett went with them and he drive Rosalie's BMW with Rose herself at his side. Abigail and Alice took the backseat, while Bella and Carlie took Carlisle's Mercedes. The guys would be piling into Edward's Volvo to do what errands they needed do that day.

"I'm so excited!" Alice squealed, reaching over to squeeze Abigail's hand.

Abigail chuckled happily. "Me, too, sweetie. I loved our first wedding, but I'm thrilled that you kids get to join us for this one." She smiled adoringly at the rest of her family there in the car with them, catching Emmett's happy grin in the mirror, and sitting back as the two cars pulled out of the garage with a squeal.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

The others knew him well, and they all knew what this day would do to him and so Jasper stuck close by sending him waves of positivity so he wouldn't get stuck in the sadness and agony of going through the day pretending as if Abigail had died. He could call her up anytime to hear her voice and that was the only thing getting him by as they stopped at their first stop: the police station. The reservation they couldn't get to, so they would have to call Jacob or Sam to call the packs and get them along with Billy, Sue, and Old Quil up to the treaty line. It would be easier that way as well since there so many of them and it would avoid needing to explain things more than needed. At least with the Quileutes, he didn't need to put on the sham of her death.

Carlisle was glad that he saw Charlie's cruiser there when they arrived and while he wanted to talk to the chief first and explain, he knew that would be difficult with half the Cullen family showing up. And he was right as the receptionist directed them back to the break room where Charlie was drinking some coffee with a few of his deputies. Immediately Chief Swan's eyes found him and he stopped laughing, dropping into something crossed between cop and father mode, as he strode over to them.

"What happened?" he demanded, causing the others to all look at them as well. The Cullens were good at facades, they spent their lives constructing them and playing the parts. So the grave looks on their faces was easy, along with the way Jasper was particularly close to Carlisle. Clearly Charlie saw this as his brown eyes flickered from one to the other and then landed back on the two blond men in front of him.

"Perhaps we should take this in your office, Charlie," Carlisle answered in a slightly choked voice. It was easy to fake when thinking of his beautiful mate's death.

"No," the man growled, slamming his coffee mug onto the table beside him, the air permeating even more with the smell of dark roast coffee as the liquid sloshed over the sides and into the wooden table tops. They saw his hands had begun to shake as he put his hands on his hips, and they knew he wouldn't budge an inch until they told him what he needed to know. Carlisle sighed silently. "No, you tell me right here, right now. What happened?" He paused. "Who's hurt? Bella? Abigail?" Carlisle's flinch told him the answer and the doctor's eyes flickered down. "No..."

"We tried what we could," Carlisle whispered, wishing that Charlie would've come with them so they could've explained without giving him this heart break first. "But her lung was too damaged. She lost too much blood, not even a transfusion could've saved her. I'm sorry, Charlie. Abigail is gone."

" _No_!" Charlie growled, and it was Edward who caught him and helped the police chief of Forks into a chair as he wept. Carlisle exchanged a look with Jasper, glancing up at the grave faces of the other officers, who had removed the hats and placed it over their hearts in respect. Carlisle could've wept himself if he could, clinging to Jasper's influence so he didn't fall into that agonized state again as memories from 1955 started to drown him.

Gingerly he sat next to the broken man and put an arm around his shoulders, tugging him up. "Come on, Charlie," he whispered, "let's go to your office."

Finally he allowed it, and Edward helped Carlisle move down the hall to the door labeled **Chief Charlie Swan**. They all went inside and shut the door as Carlisle helped him into his seat.

"We're so sorry, Charlie. This is why we wanted to speak to you alone first. Abigail isn't dead."

The man's head came up automatically, cheeks stained and he glared at Carlisle as he angrily pushed his tears aside and stood up again. " _What_?" he snapped, his voice thick. "But you said—"

"I know," he interrupted. "The others need to think that and you need to go along with it." Charlie looked very confused and angry, and Carlisle sighed. "Do you remember Jacob explaining to you that Bella has to change to become better?" Charlie didn't say a word, but gave a short single nod. "Well the same goes for Abigail. She's alive and she's healthy, but she had to change. You can come over after work and see her later. She and Bella went with the others to Port Angeles for the day. I'm so sorry we put you through that, but you and some of the Quileutes will be the only ones that will know the truth. It's imperative that you not tell anyone."

Charlie looked as if he wasn't breathing and Carlisle reached out to clap his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't tell you the truth out there. But Abigail specifically wanted to make sure that you be included in those that know she's alive. She'll be very angry that I upset you, but I know she'll want to see you."

Charlie gulped and slowly nodded, turning and they looked away as he got himself under control. He stopped shaking and the tears disappeared, they could smell it. All of them felt guilty for putting him through that, and Jasper sent more happiness to him to help him along. When he done he turned around, the only sign of his emotion was the redness around his eyes. His mouth was set into a thin line and he looked aggravated, but he sighed and gave another nod.

"'Course I wanna know," he grunted. "Don't do that to me again." Carlisle frowned and gave him an apologetic nod.

"We promise," he said softly.

Charlie nodded again. "You swear she's okay?"

"We swear." Carlisle nodded to Jasper who dug out the fake medical files that Carlisle had put together. "This details the injuries she sustained from being taken by Jones." He forced back the hiss at the sound of his name. "Between these and the tapes," The mention of those made Charlie's face grow haunted, "you should have no problem getting a conviction. And any of us can be called in as witnesses if the prosecution needs. But we have to keep Abigail out of the public eye."

The chief nodded, hands falling back to his hips, and he stayed silent for a couple moments while he processed everything. It was clear the man wanted to say more, but he didn't and Carlisle glanced at Edward who shook his head. Either he didn't want to say as it was too private, or he was angry and the words were that bad. Either way, Charlie was too much of a gentleman to say anything, and so finally he just sat back down and gestured the others to do the same even though there was only two chairs. Carlisle and Edward took them while Jasper stood behind them.

"You swear she's alive," he said again, and Carlisle nodded quickly, but silently. Charlie let out a breath. "Okay. Good. Yeah, I wanna see her. Tonight?"

"They should be back by dinner time. Come over to our house. We'll probably have Jacob as well." They all knew the young wolf well enough to know they couldn't keep him away. "I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind making up extra food for you both."

"Sounds good," he grunted. "So six is okay?"

"Perfect."

"Good." He messed around with some papers in front of him. "I'll keep up the charade here. Anything else you waiting for?"

"Just her death certificate. Jasper has a guy in Seattle that helps him. We're headed there after we talk to the Quileutes so we can get those papers, and a will of sorts she wrote up. She's giving the house and money to Beth, so we can inform her if you would like. We just have some things to pick up that Abigail requested."

"Probably be better if we tell her. More official," Charlie said. Carlisle nodded. "When?"

"Wednesday at the latest. We need to make sure Jasper's guy comes through for us, and we'll call you as soon as we have the confirmation."

"Good." Charlie nodded, scrubbed a hand down his face, and then stood up. The Cullens stood up with him and followed him out into the other room, their faces falling gravelly as Charlie went to join the others. Immediately they all clapped a hand on his back in support, and glanced at the Cullens. Carlisle bowed his head with grief and Jasper put a supportive hand on his shoulder, walking them out and back to the Volvo.

A shaky breath left Carlisle's throat and they were silent as they started up and squealed out in the direction of Seattle, knowing that the rest of the week would only be harder than this day was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirty-two:
> 
> \- [Shopping](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirty_two-thirty_four/set?id=220362196)


	33. Almost Ready

**-Abigail-**

It took only twenty minutes or so to go the usual hour into Port Angeles, but that was probably from Emmett driving a hundred and twenty the whole way. Not that anybody in the car or the one following complained; they all would've driven the same had it been them. But it made them early enough that they could stop for some quick breakfast for Carlie—she didn't eat human food often, preferred blood, even now that Bella and Edward were weening her towards animal blood—and then off to the dress shop that Alice had called ahead for. It was by appointment only and that told Abigail that it was fancy, _really_ fancy, and thought about telling her it wasn't necessary, but she could see how excited her daughter was, so she refrained. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint the girl as she knew how much this meant to her.

"We'll get the bridesmaids, maid of honor, and flower girl settled and then work on yours," Alice told Abigail as she opened the door. Abigail nodded and shot a quick text to Carlisle that they arrived before following her daughter inside.

The sales assistant was named Heather and she seemed very nice. The others eyed Abigail, but she didn't feel an ounce of thirst as she shook the woman's hand and smiled pleasantly. Luckily in the car Alice had remembered to give her some contacts that would cover her red eyes and they had many more pairs as the venom would surely dissolve them after a couple hours. At least she wasn't frightening the poor girl with predator eyes.

"Have you decided colors?" she wondered as she led the group over to the bridesmaids aisle.

The store was on the smaller side, but that's because they were so exclusive. The cheapest dress Abigail noticed was around thirteen hundred dollars and she nearly choked, but knew that even back in the fifties that would've been nothing to their family, let alone now. Not only was there growing interest, but Alice was amazing at stocks. Carlisle was worth roughly thirty-four billion and she knew that the dress would be nothing but pocket change to them. And she knew her fiance would give her anything she wanted, so she swallowed back the stigma of saving and counting pennies from the last twenty-two years and just focused on the dresses.

"I'm thinking white, peach, and lavender?" she said, her voice a question as she glanced to Alice. Alice's eyes went unfocused for a moment, too short for Heather as a human to notice as the others did, but finally she grinned and nodded.

"That's perfect!" she exclaimed, bouncing a couple times and clapping. "I'll wear purple, the bridesmaids can wear peach. You and Carlisle can wear white, but we'll match the groomsmen to us. Edward in lavender; Emmett and Jasper in peach."

"Do you sell tuxes?" Rosalie asked Heather.

Heather nodded and gestured to her right. "The shop next door is ours, but it's our men's department. We have colors that match every dress in this store."

"Good," Alice said. "We can get Emmett's today," she said tapping Emmett's bicep, "and then come back with the others tomorrow or Wednesday for their fittings."

"How soon will these dresses and tuxes be ready?" Rose asked.

"Usually it takes about three to four weeks."

"That should be fine, the wedding will be in a couple months." Abigail's eyes slid to Alice for a second, but she knew her daughter could pull it off. Edward and Bella's wedding had only taken a couple months. When it came to things like this, Alice was relentless.

"Will you be back for a fitting right before the event?"

"No, the size will fit," Rosalie said simply. Abigail smiled. Now as a vampire, she would be staying the same size for eternity. There would be no need to change, though she knew they would have to get a slightly larger size for Carlie because she was growing all the time.

Heather nodded without any questions and stepped back for them to search out the colors, sizes, and styles they wanted. Turns out Alice was the pickiest and she spent almost two hours looking through and trying stuff on while Carlie was done in fifteen minutes, and the other three had theirs in forty-five.

Carlie's was white on top and peach on the bottom, and she would be wearing a flower crown of lavender flowers in her hair. Her shoes were white flats and luckily she wasn't a typical child so they didn't worry too much about her getting them dirty.

Bella and Rosalie would be wearing floor-length peach gowns that had lace shoulders and were tight to just under the bust where it flared out in pleats down to their feet. They would be wearing matching peach open-toed pumps.

Alice finally decided on a lavender dress that reached to just above her knees and was form fitting the way down, and had only one shoulder. Her shoes were matching lavender open-toed lacy pumps.

Abigail had decided that she definitely wanted lace; it was more vintage and that's what she liked, it was more her style, and not just because she originally was born in 1753. So once it was finally her turn to try on dresses, she went right for the lace ones. She also decided she likes the off the shoulder look, but didn't like the longer sleeves.

Finally she settled on a mermaid style lace dress that was form fitting until about right above her knees, and then flared out to the ground. When asked if she wanted heels, she groaned, "God, yes," making everyone laugh, so they picked out some white lace six-inch open-toed pumps to go with it.

The other vampires all thought it was hilarious she shrunk, but apparently that's what her vampiric nature wanted to get across: small, but deadly. Heather even measured her height and she was at four foot ten without the shoes, which made her pout for the next hour, until they were checking out with Carlisle's credit card, and then lead over to the men's store.

There wasn't nearly as much as at the bridal shop, but Heather easily pointed out the colors that matched the dresses that they had just picked out. Since Emmett was a groomsmen, he was trying on the peach color, and luckily they were able to find a size big enough for his shoulders and arms that he wouldn't rip through (as he did, apparently, three times during the hunt for a tux for Edward and Bella's wedding), and they could take in the waist for him.

The tuxes themselves were a medium gray color they decided that all the guys could work with. They would be wearing matching vests, but the ties would be the pop of color. The tie was a single color like the suit, and he even got some new shiny black shoes.

Heather agreed to set aside another peach ties, a lavender tie, a white tie, and three other gray tuxes for Tuesday or Wednesday when they could bring the other guys down. Eventually Jacob would need a tux, too, but she knew he would be wearing a simple black and white one. That is, if he agreed to get ordained and officiate like she wanted him to.

"Thank you so much!" Alice squealed, hugging Heather and giving her a rather handsome rip. The girl's eyes went wide and she seemed speechless for a moment before she smiled widely.

"It's no trouble at all! If you need anymore help, don't hesitate to call!"

Alice agreed and they soon all filed out and back to the cars. Luckily it was still rather gray out, but no longer raining so they didn't need their raincoats, and they also didn't have to worry about exposure. She supposed if that were going to be a possibility, Alice would've warned them as she was better than any weather man.

"How many more pairs of contacts do you have?" Abigail wondered as she climbed in the back of the BMW—ignoring the gawks from obvious car enthusiasts who passed them—and glancing at Alice. She has just disintegrated her most recent pair—she had gone through two others already—and she was glad they were back in the car. They were rather uncomfortable, telling the truth.

"Two more, why?" she wondered.

"Well, the flower shop is around the corner, and I figured we could look and order while we're here." Alice looked elated as Emmett groaned.

"Seriously? Haven't we don't enough girly shi—" He paused at the withering glare Abigail shot in him the rearview mirror. "— _stuff_ for today?"

"Oh, Emmett, flowers won't take that long," Alice admonished, but she was smirking and they all knew she was fibbing a little. He grunted and pouted, but he pulled in that direction as Abigail shot a text back to Bella in the Mercedes telling her what they were doing.

It did take longer than Abigail expected, but clearly not as long as Alice did. She definitely wanted orchids as center pieces and decorations, both in lavender and peach arranged with a smattering of baby's breath and other greens. The bouquets for the bridesmaids were peach lilies and Alice's was lavender, while the groomsmen got boutonnieres to match. Abigail got lavender blossoms, lavender orchids, and peach lilies for her bouquet, while the petals in Carlie's basket would be from white, peach, and lavender roses. They also ordered her flower crown as well. The woman there wasn't as nice as Heather and didn't get as generous of a tip, but it was more than she probably ever for before.

Emmett got his way when they were done and they headed back to Forks. Abigail texted Carlisle again to let him know. While the day had been so much fun with her daughters, son, and granddaughter, she truly needed to be back in her fiance's arms. The longer she was away from him, the more she felt it, and it felt like she was exhausted even though that was impossible. She was twitchy and anxious and Alice wound up holding her hand most of the way back so she wouldn't get too irritable. She didn't know how she lives through almost twenty-three years without his touches; it seemed impossible. And he was without her for fifty; she could only begin to imagine what that was like. She knew their bond showed her some, but that his real feelings were a hundred times worse.

Unfortunately the Volvo wasn't in the garage and Carlisle hadn't answered her text, so she messaged Jasper who said they were almost back from Seattle where they were getting papers needed for her death sham. She still hated the idea, but it made the most sense. She couldn't just disappear. She was just glad they allowed her Charlie, because the thought of having this wedding without him made her want to weep. She needs him to walk her down the aisle and have the father/daughter dance. And she was fairly certain he would say yes.

The only bags they had to take in were the shoes, and Carlie's dress that they decided not to alter, but have Alice do so if needed once it was closer to the date.

"Now that I have the colors, I can order the table cloths and decorations!" Alice was exclaiming as she ran up the stairs. Abigail chuckled as she went to put the shoe bags on the couch, but a revolting smell behind her had her spinning. She wasn't sure what she expected, but Jacob Black standing there wasn't it.

Her lips parted in shock, hand up to her un-beating heart as he had actually startled her, and she waited for him to speak. She knew her last pair of contacts had disintegrated so her eyes were the crimson red of a newborn vampire once more. She knew she looked different in general and between that and her strength, she waited for him to make the first move. He was okay with Bella, but that was different, she wasn't his sister. For a moment she expected disgust, but his face was simply vulnerable. The others had left so she figured they were allowing them some privacy, which Abigail appreciated, and she knew Jacob did as well.

"Bunny?" His voice was soft and unsure, but the nickname he had gifted her with so long ago made her breathe out in relief and in a second, run to him. He knew vampire speed, but he looked rather shocked as she was suddenly there. It occurred to her that he just wasn't used to that with her.

"Hi, Hulk," she murmured. She paused as he said nothing. "Can I hug you or am I too gross?"

Finally a small smirk lifted the corners of his lips. "There's my Bunny," he murmured, and quickly pulled her into his arms. She was still careful with her strength as she hugged him, giggling as she was tugged off her feet like normal.

"You smell gross, too," she mumbled into his burning shoulder. He chuckled.

"At least I didn't shrink."

She squawked and smacked his shoulder, satisfied at the small, "Ow," that she received.

"Finally, I can get an 'ow' out of you instead of a patronizing laugh."

He laughed at her and finally set her down, holding her at arm's length to look at her. "Well, for a leech, you're not too horrible to look at."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "And for a mutt, you're not too... Dirty..."

He snorted and yanked her into another hug. "Good come back."

"Bite me."

"Ew, no thanks."

They both laughed and she shook her head, pulling him over to the couch. He seemed okay with the change of events—or rather the change of _her_ —and she was thrilled. She knew she should wait and let him get more used to the idea, but they didn't have a whole lot of time. Alice would want the confirmation sooner rather than later, to know if they had to go with plan B and find a priest or not. Since she couldn't see the wolves, she couldn't see Jacob's decision.

"So I have a question," she said softly, leaning towards him slightly. She actually felt nervous and it was a disconcerting feeling after spending the last few days so calm and so sure of herself.

Jacob raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "You can ask me anything."

She smiled. "Well...I don't remember if I told you, but..." She held out her left hand. "Carlisle and I are getting married." Jacob's eyebrows went up his forehead and he shook his head to tell her she hadn't told him. He grabbed her hand to examine the ring. "It's the ring he gave me at our first wedding," she explained. "He had it handcrafted. It was 1776 and he wasn't nearly as wealthy as he is now, but he spent every last dime he had on our wedding and my ring." Her smile softened and she gently pulled her hand back, taking Jacob's much larger one in her palms. "I'm going to ask Charlie to give me away. But you? Jake, I want you to marry us. Like perform the ceremony, I mean. You can get ordained online. Please, Jake? I want my brother in my wedding."

For a moment she couldn't read the emotions on his face other than the shock. It was unfair, she knew, to dump all of this onto him. Not only was she surprising him with her new... _state_ of living, but now with her engagement and her request of him performing the ceremony. She wouldn't be surprised if he needed time or just declined in general. She knew that he was okay with them all being vampires—at least the others, he hadn't exactly expressed his opinion on her change yet—but it was different condoning it and being apart of their marriage.

His answer to her was riding quickly to his feet, yanking her to hers, and then back into his arms. She squeaked as he spun her around, and when he pulled back, there as a large rather wolfy grin across his face. "I would be honored," he said softly.

Her grin was large and she squealed, wrapping him up in another hug. "I'm so happy!" She knew if she still could, she would be crying right then. Her undead heart squeezed in her chest and she snuggled into his burning frame. It was warmer than it had been, but she didn't care, and clearly he didn't care that she was colder as he held her close. "Thank you, Jake," she whispered.

_My family is complete!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirty-three:
> 
> \- [Shopping](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirty_two-thirty_four/set?id=220362196)


	34. Give Me Away

**-Abigail-**

After Jacob agreed to be part of her wedding, the atmosphere between the two of them settled into an easy calm, just like it always had been. They laughed easily and sat together on the couch, talking about everything that's been going on since they last saw each other, which was far too long ago. She could see the haunted glint in his eye when he spoke about the week that she was gone. She had remembered how long it was, she counted. And she wasn't surprised to find her family had made a call to the wolves to help find her. She could see her brother had wished he was there, but frankly she remembered the pain she was in, and was glad he wasn't. The last thing she wanted was to him to see that and blame himself, which is what everyone else was doing anyway.

"I'm fine, Jake," she said as she squeezed his hand. He didn't say anything for a few moments before he frowned.

"You know... Part of me wishes that you didn't have to turn into this... _leech_." She opened her lips to say something, but Jacob shook his head and put a hand over her mouth making her frown. "But I know you had to. And you wanted to. Just like Bella did a few months ago. The wolf in me wants to be disgusted; you're our natural enemy. But the brother in me doesn't care if you're a human or a leech or the creature from the Black Lagoon. I saw that with Bella, that no matter what, you'll always be _you_." Slowly Abigail nodded and Jacob smiled. "Don't get me wrong, most leeches I still hate. But you guys here? Well, you're alright."

"Aw, shucks, I feel all warm and tingly inside." The voice made them both then to the stairway where Emmett stood. Jacob rolled his eyes, letting his hand fall from Abigail's mouth as she giggled. "Just checking to make sure the mutt hasn't gutted you or something."

Jacob scoffed. "Please, like that's the real reason you're here."

Emmett frowned. "There's more than one way for you to gut her. Like saying no to officiating the wedding and leaving her."

Jacob's face darkened. "That'd never happen."

Emmett held up his hands. "Well she's my mom, I needed to make sure." He paused. "Plus Carlisle wasn't too thrilled I didn't stay here until I made sure that you two were okay."

Abigail's eyes went wide and she sat up straighter. "You talked to him?" she asked, her voice excited.

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, he called to let us know they had a stop to make and then they would be home."

"Damn," she frowned.

"Language," Emmett sang and smirked at the annoyed glare he received in return.

"Did he say how long?" she wondered. While it had been easier to ignore the effects of being away from him while she was in the others' presence, it was getting more and more difficult to bear as the day wore on. She realized rather quickly that she was glad that she didn't have to go back to work at all, and loathed the idea of doing so once they moved and settled somewhere else. Perhaps she would take time off to just be with Carlisle again, not having to worry about anything other than being his mate. It occurred to her that in the nearly two hundred years before she died, there wasn't a day gone by that they weren't together. Well he worked of course, but the days were shorter. He spent fifty years in total without her, she only twenty-three, and it was creeping up on her the amount of time, the loss, they both suffered from her death.

 _Never again_ , she thought, and not just because she didn't want to die. But she now knew the truth of what her death did to him. And to the rest of their family for that matter, especially Emmett. She also had Jacob and Carlie to worry about as well, her brother and her granddaughter. There was no bone in her body that wanted to hurt any of them.

"The detour will be about five minutes," Emmett said and Abigail let out a breath of relief as he plopped himself in the chair beside her. He smirked. "Don't worry, Mom, you two can disappear in your bedroom soon enough."

Abigail rolled her eyes and sighed as Jacob grunted in disgust. "Shut up," she mumbled as a lame attempt at a come back, making the guys nearly roll with laughter. She huffed and sat back, pretending to be mad and ignored them, but really the need for Carlisle was starting to become stifling. She wanted him there, _needed_ him there.

The other two managed to find something to talk about until they heard a car pulling off the old highway. She gasped and stood, ceasing whatever it was her brother and son were talking about, and moving for the front door quickly. She heard a laugh behind her, but didn't bother to distinguish who it was. The car meant her fiance was nearly home and if she were Alice, she would be bouncing in her spot. As it were, she barely contained herself from wiggling against the window as it got closer, noticing for a moment there was actually a second car following them, but she was far too focused on the sound of the Volvo as it quickly got closer and closer.

 _The person in the second car is human,_ she thought quickly which meant she couldn't run to him as fast as she wanted to, but there would be no holding her back once she got to him. It had been a long day and it was after five, and she was just ready to be with her love again.

Finally once they arrived into the meadow—Abigail shocked to see the second car was Charlie's cruiser—she darted out the door. Usually the Volvo would be parked in the garage with the others, but clearly even Carlisle didn't want to wait that long. He pulled up beside the house, Charlie behind them, and Abigail squealed as she raced—at human speed—down to the driver's side door.

Carlisle was already opening it and climbing out quickly, smiling and opening his arms as they were suddenly full of an over excited Abigail. He chuckled warmly, though it sounded more to her like a purr, and squeezed her tightly as he picked her up off her feet. She buried her face in his neck and breathed in his familiar, comforting scent to ground herself. He was there, he was home, and she didn't have to panic. She wouldn't have to be without him again. No more trips of just them up to Port Angeles, and she had a feeling he wouldn't be going into work anytime soon. Well, he would have an excuse anyway considering he was "mourning." It was still odd to her, but it had to be done.

Only once she was content with his presence did she pull back long enough to press kisses all over his face and neck. He slowly lowered her to the ground, her arms slipping down around his waist while his cupped her cheeks.

"I missed you, too, my sweet Abigail." He smiled and pecked her lips softly. Once, twice, three times and it was all she could do not to deepen it right then and there because she could hear the others around them and realized the women from upstairs had come out, as had Jacob.

"Get a room," he called with a smirk making her scowl and turn around to give him a gesture she was glad Emmett didn't see, because he definitely would've gotten on her case. Jacob simply laughed harder.

"My love, I think there's someone else who needs to see you," Carlisle murmured into her ear. She gave him a curious glance before it dawned on her that Charlie's cruiser was parked behind them, and Charlie was standing outside it with Bella and Carlie, hands shoved in his pockets and looking at her in such a way her knees nearly buckled.

It was then she realized she didn't have any contacts in. She forgot in her haste to get to Carlisle.

"Crap," she gasped quietly and turned to flee into the house and find a pair, but Carlisle held her arm.

"Stay," he murmured. He sighed. "We went to tell them at the precinct that you had succumbed to your injuries. But Charlie wouldn't let us speak to him alone first, and so he for about five minutes, he thought you were dead. We told him that like Bella, you had to change. Edward says he's been making connections for awhile now, but isn't willing to admit it to himself or us. But...he's right on the mark. And I think he can handle it. So stay, and let him see your eyes. If you and Bella want to continue the relationship with him, then he deserves the truth."

"But what about the Volturi?"

"They won't know unless Aro touches one of us. And we're not likely to see them again anytime soon. Trust me, sweetheart, if I thought that you or he were in any danger, I never would've suggested this."

"And you think he can keep the secret?"

Carlisle nodded. "I do. He's a cop, it's part of who he is."

Abigail chuckled, but she knew he was right. Charlie had been chief of police for a long time, he knew how to keep the secrets that needed to be kept, and only release information that needed to be. The status of her humanity definitely wasn't something he needed to announce, especially since he knew it would put them all in danger. And she knew even though she was much less breakable than she was before, one of Charlie's goals was to protect her, just like he protected his own daughter and just like Abigail's father would've protected her if he were still alive.

"You're right," she murmured. She leaned up for another kiss as he smiled lovingly down at her.

"It'll be okay," he murmured back and pecked her lips one more time.

She took a deep breath and stepped away, wanting to be back in his arms, but she know she needed to talk to Charlie and make sure he was alright. Her eyes raised as she walked towards him and heard his breathing stop in his lungs as he took a look into her eyes. She could see the shock and confusion register on his face, but she didn't see any fear and for that she was grateful.

Unlike usual, she didn't leap into his arms and hug him. Keeping her strength was even more important around him; Carlisle and the rest of her family were pretty unbreakable, as was Jacob, and she was worried enough about them, but Charlie was fragile and if she ever accidentally hurt him by mindlessly crushing him... She definitely would never forgive herself. But she couldn't bring herself to look away form him either, looking up at him softly through her lashes, her gaze apologetic. She felt bad for doing this to him, she had to admit. First Bella, and now her. Truthfully she was sorry for Jacob as well, she knew that his feelings for vampires were tentative at best, and the Cullens were his only exception.

"Abi?" Charlie murmured. Slowly she gave him a soft smile and a nod. He still looked unconvinced and so she waited, taking a couple steps closer to him. She found that as a vampire, her patience grew—she had forever, she was in no rush—so she didn't mind standing there and letting him work out what he needed, however it is that he needed it. It was one thing taking in the fact that Jacob could turn into a wolf, it was a whole other thing to believe in vampires. And not only that, but his daughter and the girl that was like his daughter were both one. Abigail remembered when she first found out what Carlisle was. Of course it was after she was changed, too, but it gave her such a different perspective on life, death, and mortality.

"He knows what we are, but he isn't willing to say it out loud," Edward said only loud enough that the Cullens could hear.

"Does he hate me?" Abi murmured. Edward shook his head once and she let out a quick breath, glad that she didn't have to lose him. Not that she would blame him, of course. Something like this wasn't exactly for the light of heart; not everyone could handle the truth of what was out there. And if he didn't want to say it, if he didn't want to know all the details, that was fine with her. All he needed to know was that she was okay and that she wouldn't be hurt again. If Jones were to ever try and get his hands on her—not that he was going to be out of prison anytime soon; from what she understood, Jasper's guy was going to get enough evidence set up that there was no way he was going to get out, though she knew the video they had that was of Jones own recording was enough—she would have no trouble fighting him off and breaking free. Not that he would ever be able to get the drop on her considering her vampiric nature and instincts that had awakened once more when Carlisle turned her.

"It's me, Charlie," she finally said, taking another tentative step towards him. She heard him let out a breath, the rapid beating of his heart steadying out, and he quickly closed in the distance. Allowing herself to be moved, she felt herself being swept up into his arms and she giggled softly, squeezing him ever so gently, though she knew that it was still tight for him as he let out a huff and she eased up even a little bit more.

"I don't wanna know," he grunted into her ear, "but I'm glad you're okay. When they told me you died—" His voice cut off, choking, and she knew he wasn't going to say anything else, but he got his point across.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, hearing him grunt to her once again and then she just hugged him, glad that she was able to have this with him. Eventually she would have to say goodbye to him, the same as Bella would, but that was part of being a vampire. She had nobody to miss the first time around, but plenty this time. Abigail was just glad that Jacob would not age as long as he continued to shift. Considering he imprinted on Carlie, who would live forever, she had a pretty good feeling that he would chose to do so. He would have to say goodbye to those at La Push as well, but she knew Jacob, and he wouldn't be leaving Carlie or Abigail anytime soon.

Eventually Charlie set her on the ground again, and she smiled up at him, proud of the chief as he didn't flinch at her crimson gaze. Frankly she was cursing herself for not thinking of going to put in some contacts, but he was a strong man. It shouldn't be his burden to know what was out there, always looking over his shoulder for them, wondering if the crimes he was looking into were the work of humans or something else. But she also knew he wouldn't tell anyone, and the Cullens weren't worried about the Volturi finding out. They would never speak of it with him, and it's not as if they had any worry about seeing Aro anytime soon. He was the only of the Volturi that would be of worry considering one touch would tell him that Charlie knew.

"Let's get inside," Carlisle said from behind her, and her body calmed a slightly bit as she felt his hand on the small of her back. She nodded and took Charlie's hand gently, pulling him for the front steps. Together they went inside where Alice already had all of plans spread out over the coffee table, the couch, and both of the chairs. Abigail rolled her eyes at her daughter, but giggled when Charlie's eyes went wide.

"Somethin' you wanna tell me?" he wondered as he eyed the various wedding cake pictures; only Alice—and, technically, Edward—knew which of the cakes Alice picked, and she wasn't going to tell Abigail and Carlisle until the day of. While she was a curious person and wanted to know all of these details, even the smallest one, she trusted her daughter. And Alice knew of her colors, so it's not as if the cake would be inappropriate. However, she knew it would also most likely be one of the taller ones with the most decorations because that was how Alice worked. But it was absolutely adorable.

"Actually, I do. That's why I'm glad the boys brought you here." She grinned and tugged him into the kitchen, knowing if she moved anything she would get the stink eye from her daughter. She worked quickly to get him a cup of coffee, giving in a little and moving a bit quicker than a human and she caught his look of shock, but he didn't say anything—as she expected he wouldn't—and thanked her when she handed it over to him. She sat across the table from him with Carlisle on one side and Jacob on the other. Bella sat next to her dad, but the others had all stayed in the living room with Alice. She could hear Rosalie and Carlie helping Alice out with plans, Edward sat at the piano softly playing and she knew it was something new he was working on—she hoped for the wedding, she would never dream of another pianist—while Jasper and Emmett got out the chess game and began to play.

"So what is it?" Charlie wondered, eyeing her and Carlisle carefully over the top of his coffee mug.

"Well..." She held up her hand that held her engagement ring and saw Charlie choke. Bella thumped him carefully on the back and Abigail bit her lip to hold back the giggle. "Carlisle and I are engaged. Alice is planning the wedding for a couple months from now. We have a lot of things picked out now, that's where the girls and I—"

"And me!" Emmett called from the living room.

Abigail rolled her eyes. "—and Emmett," she appeased, and heard Jasper scoff, "in Port Angeles looking at dresses and flowers."

"I thought we were done with weddings for a couple years," he grumbled, and Abigail couldn't help but giggle again.

"This is the last one, I swear," she said with a grin and Charlie rolled his eyes. "But I have a question, and I hope you'll say yes." He raised an eyebrow and she took a deep breath, feeling Carlisle's grip on her hand tighten ever so little. "I was hoping—and Bella agreed—that you would walk me down the aisle." She paused and watched as his face twisted in a way she never saw it before and she quickly back peddled. "I-I mean, my father's gone. You were one of his best friends, and you've been there my whole life. I mean, I know Billy has, too, but I don't know... It feels right to ask you." She took a shaky breath, her whole body jumpy as she waited for his response. The fact that she couldn't read his emotions on his face didn't make it that much easier. She had been so confident before, but sitting there looking between him and Bella, feeling the way Carlisle squeezed her hand and Jacob shifted on her other side, she wasn't sure. Did she assume too much? He wasn't really one for formal affairs; maybe he didn't even want to go at all. But to the shock of her and everyone else, he stood up, rounded the table, and tugged her up into another hug.

"I would be honored," he whispered into her hair and she grinned, snuggling into his chest just like she used to his father, and taking comfort in his familiar woodsy scent and the warmth of his embrace. Her heart was happy and if it could beat, it would be pounding behind her chest with joy. As it was, it felt like her whole body was tingling, and she couldn't imagine having her life differently.

What if she hadn't been adopted by the Goodwins as a newborn? What if her biological parents had kept her? What if they decided to stay there and live in Delaware instead of bringing her back to Forks? What if the Cullens had decided not to move to Forks in the first place? What if they never came back after Bella and Alice saved Edward from the Volturi? (Carlisle told her everything that happened from 1955 until they started speaking again in January.) What if she decided to stay in Seattle instead of moving back to Forks? What if she decided not to even go to the wedding?

There were so many _"what ifs"_ and she didn't like any of them. Because if any of them happened, she wouldn't be there right now with her family, her _true_ family. She would always be lost, never really finding her way because her destiny was out there, and she had no way of finding it. She wouldn't know the meanings behind her nightmares or what her true identity was. Abigail Goodwin, the vampire and wife of Carlisle Cullen was so much stronger than Abigail Goodwin, the human who felt lost even though she didn't know it at the time. _This_ is the Abigail that she wanted to be.

And _this_ is the Abigail she always _would_ be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirty-four: 
> 
> \- [Shopping](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirty_two-thirty_four/set?id=220362196)


	35. Kiss the Bride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this! Thanks everyone for your comments, and thanks for reading!

**-Two Months Later-  
-Abigail-**

"You really need to stop moving or I might stick this bobby-pin in your eye."

The fact that that was the forth time her daughter had said that to her in the past ten minutes told Abigail that not only was she being annoyingly twitchy, but that she was incredibly nervous, which was an odd feeling for the vampire. The last two months had flown by and she wanted nothing more than to just get to the wedding so she could finally stop being nervous, but more important, _finally_ be Abigail Cullen again. Already she was having Jasper help her get in contact with Jenks to get all of her identification changed around to Cullen so that she wouldn't have any problems when time came to the honeymoon and getting out of the country, not that he was telling her where they were going. He was being quite secretive with everyone except for Alice and Edward, and she knew that they only knew because Alice saw his decision and Edward saw her vision and Carlisle's thoughts. And as much as she bribed them, they wouldn't tell her a thing.

 _"I'm your mother, you should be on my side,"_ she had complained to them, thinking that that would get her somewhere. That and promising to take them up to the Canadian wilderness where some of the best tasting animals were—if it were still the same now that it was fifty years later—but that still didn't get them, though she saw that Edward really wanted to, however one stomp on his foot from Alice had him changing his mind.

Now that the day was there, the day she would become Abigail Cullen again, she still didn't know where she and Carlisle were going, but the nerves over the ceremony hit her far too hard for her to focus on that night when they would be leaving for their honeymoon. Since Charlie now, more or less, knew about vampires, Alice had made the ceremony for one PM and it would be on the east side of the house to minimize the sun exposure. He might know, but that didn't mean he was comfortable with it or that he wanted to know, so it would make it easier for him if half of the guests didn't shimmer.

The guest list was small, but easy and straight forward. Besides the bride and groom, there were their children. First to go out would be Carlie with the flowers and the rings tied onto the basket. Jasper and Bella, as a groomsman and bridesmaid, would be second.. Next would be Emmett and Rosalie as another groomsman and bridesmaid, and at the end would be Alice and Edward as Alice was matron of honor and Edward was best man. Abigail and Charlie would be last while Carlisle would be at the front with Jacob waiting for the rest of them.

While Jacob, Charlie, and Carlie wouldn't have to worry about the sun, there were others that did: the Denalis—Kate, Tanya, Eleazar, and Carmen, who all agreed to join them, though they didn't fully understand Abigail's return; they knew her briefly before she died—and then half of the Egyptian coven—Tia and Benjamin, who agreed to only hunt in Seattle, nowhere closer. The rest of them would all be wolves and humans: Billy Black, Old Quil Ateara, Embry Call, Quil Ateara, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Leah Clearwater, Seth Clearwater, Sue Clearwater, Jared Cameron, and Paul Lahote. Alice wanted to invite all of the wolves and their families, but Abigail put her foot down and, of course, Carlisle agreed with her so only the ones they were closest with were invited. Unlike Edward and Bella's wedding, they had no problem in coming—except for Leah, was was dragged there by Seth and Sue—and they weren't sure if it was because they all grew up with Abigail, or because the tension between them and the Cullens no longer existed. They were teammates, for lack of a better term, and they all respected that.

But Abigail had no time to think about the others as Alice was currently glaring at her in the mirror while she got herself under control. Abigail rolled her eyes at Alice's hollow threat and just worked to still her entire body so that she didn't have to go to her fiance to have him try and remove a bobby-pin from her eye.

"Sorry," she mumbled, closing her eyes for good effort as Alice went back to piling her curls onto the back of her head.

"I swear, you're the twitchiest vampire I've ever met," Alice admonished.

Abigail scoffed. "I'm getting married today, of course I'm twitchy."

"You married him before, though," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but I didn't have to impress anyone back then. But now I have you kids and the rest of them to worry about."

Alice sighed. "You have nobody to impress, Mother. Not even Carlisle. The only thing you have to do today—the only thing you're _allowed_ to do today—is to smile and have fun and be happy. You and Dad deserve it."

Abigail slowly gave her a soft smile in the mirror, reaching up to hold her hand where it rested in her hair. "I am happy, darling," Abigail whispered. Alice smiled back and leaned down to kiss her cheek before beginning back on her hair. It didn't take too much longer to finish up, and Abigail didn't move a single muscle for the remainder of the time Alice needed her to, including putting on her makeup, which Abigail insisted on a simplistic look of just thin mascara and eyeliner, and some light pink lipgloss. Her nails were also painted, mostly in a lavender color, but the corners were peach to go with the color themes of the wedding. Every inch of it was perfect, curtesy of Alice and Rosalie. Bella focused on making sure that Carlie was dressed and ready to go by the time the rest of them had to get around, that way they didn't have to worry about struggling around her, and she could run around and play if she wanted to. Once Bella gave her the okay, she waved quickly to the other women before running out quickly, probably in search of Edward or Charlie.

"Done!" Alice squealed, stepping back and allowing everyone to look over her _"masterpiece,"_ as she had said multiple times. If Abigail could cry, she definitely would be. Venom tears gathered in hear eyes as she looked over her makeup and the curls piled on her head. Alice finished up her hair with a few baby's-breath in the back and went perfectly with her whole vintage style that she had going on with her dress and the other decor that Alice picked out. At least she didn't go completely overboard with everything, and it was as simple and as elegant as she had expected. Abigail had faith in her daughter, and Alice didn't disappoint in the least.

"Don't start, Mom, or I will," Rosalie said, waving a hand in front of her face. Rosalie and Bella both kept their long hair down, Rosalie curling hers and Bella clipping back on the sides. Alice kept hers in her usual quirky, pixie style, and Bella had braided Carlie's and wrapped it into a bun on the back of her head, however she waited to put the flower crown on until right before the ceremony.

"You can't cry," Alice admonished, gently pushing her out of the way to finish up her own makeup.

"That doesn't mean I can't get emotional," Rose snapped.

"But—"

"Girls," Abigail warned and both of the girls quickly quieted.

"You look beautiful," Bella said honestly and Abigail grinned, standing to hug her daughter-in-law, and then both of her daughters.

"Thank you," Abigail said softly.

"Just wait until the dress is on!" Alice exclaimed. "Carlisle won't be able to keep his eyes off you."

"Not like he tries to anyway," Rosalie said wryly, causing Abigail to giggle, and she was glad she could no longer blush. She felt so giddy, so happy and full of life. But really, she would be crazy if she didn't, given the fact she had another chance at forever. Most people didn't even have the one chance, but she was able to fall in love with the same man twice, and for some crazy reason, the universe thought it fitting to make him fall in love with her, too. What he didn't know is she didn't think she deserved him, but she also wasn't willing to give him up. She would be selfish with him and their lives, and she wouldn't regret a single moment of it.

"You three first and then me," Abigail insisted, earning an exasperated look from Alice. She shook her head, putting her foot down this time. "I have a lot more to wiggle in than you three. We'll get you guys settled and then work on me. Please, Alice, I've gotten married before, but I never got the chance to do so with my daughters. So let me enjoy this."

"We never got the chance to do that with you either," Alice mumbled, but with a look from Rose, she finally relented and first got out the garment bags with the peach dresses for Rosalie and Bella. Bella was slightly shorter than Rosalie, yet Rosalie's chest was a big larger, so they had to be positive about who got which dress. Luckily Alice made sure that Heather at the shop in Port Angeles labeled the bags so that they didn't get mixed up. Bella went first so she could run after Carlie if she needed to, but luckily the child was content wherever she was. Rosalie was next, and finally Alice was the last one, hopping in her spot once she had her heels safely on her feet.

"You all look amazing," Abigail said happily and opened her arms. All three girls rushed to her and a Cullen family group hug commenced, Abigail squeezing her daughters carefully as they giggled. "I'm so happy you're all here this time. Don't misunderstand," She pulled back to look around at them, "I loved my first wedding. It was so perfect and intimate being just your father and I with the pastor. But having you three, and the boys—and of course Charlie and Jacob and all the rest—well, it makes up for the only thing our first wedding lacked: family."

All three of them looked rather emotional and Rosalie and Bella turned away, mumbling about finding their bouquets while Alice hugged her once more. But finally the small pixie girl took Abigail's hand and dragged her for her own garment bag that was tucked away behind the rest.

"Ready?" Alice asked, a happy grin on her face, and Abigail nodded excitedly. It took all three of the girls to help Abigail into her dress, but twenty minutes later, and it was on. As they expected, it fit perfectly just like it did the day she tried it on. And she truly was glad once again that she couldn't cry because she would seriously be smearing her makeup. Alice and Rosalie helped clip on her veil, which snapped in up under the curls that Alice had pinned up, that way it didn't disturb the baby's-breath. The veil was the only thing that Alice needed to alter; because it was so long, and Abigail didn't want a long train on either the dress or the veil, she took it up so it hung to just about the back of her knees. After that, her mother's diamond earrings were put on along with a simple silver chain, and she was completely finished.

"Wow," Rosalie breathed as she took a step back and looked Abigail over. Abigail grinned and spun gently in her spot, glad once again that she had heels; it made everything that much easier, like hugging her children and Charlie, or being able to kiss Carlisle.

"I feel like a princess," she admitted with a soft giggle.

Alice nodded quickly and brought out her phone, beginning to snap away pictures until Charlie came into the room and made her put it away.

"If I wind up on Face-gram or Insta-book whatever the hell you kids use these days, I'll hunt you down, Alice Cullen," he threatened and all of the girls burst into tinkling peals of laughter. He looked as if he was trying to stay mad, but wound up smiling as he first hugged Bella and then looked over Abigail. "You sure you're Abi? I don't recall you growin' up so much."

"I only grew up because of these heels," she said, lifting her leg to wave her foot at him, which caused him to snort in laughter and the girls to all start giggling again.

"Smartass," he muttered before he pulled her into one of his infamous Charlie hugs. She snuggled into him, just like always, and breathed in his comforting scent. She took a lot of comfort in that the past couple months, wishing she had more time with him, but for vampires, the years were so fleeting that in no time, he would be long gone and the rest of them would live on exactly the same as they were right then. But it was her wedding day and Abigail refused to dwell on that too much, taking Emmett's advice and living in the moment. She was dolled up in a beautiful gown, her hair and makeup perfect, her children and brother and extended family waiting for her, her quasi-father was going to give her away, and—secretly, most importantly—she would be walking down the aisle for the second time to her mate, the man of her dreams, the love of her life.

Silent heart fluttering, she pulled back from Charlie and put her hands on his arms.

"Are we ready?" she wondered, noting the time quickly from the clock that hung on the opposite wall.

"No," he grumbled, refusing to look at her and she smiled softly as she knew he didn't mean the ceremony wasn't ready. "But c'mon, you're going to anyway." Abigail grinned and held out her arm for him. "That's my line." She giggled and waited for him to do it instead, and she locked her palm in the crook of his elbow.

Together, they all made their way down to the great room where the boys were waiting. Edward took Alice's arm, Jasper took Bella's, and Emmett took Rosalie's. None of them seemed to want to take their eyes off their girls, and Abigail smiled at them adoringly as she gently guided Carlie out in front so she could begin. Since Edward was in the wedding party he couldn't be at the piano, so she made Alice set up a nice sound system that had a playlist of all her favorite songs—some original for the occasion, one was Bella's lullaby, a couple others were written before she died for the marriage of Rosalie and Emmett, and she also insisted he include Clair de Lune—during the ceremony and again during the reception.

As they all lined up, Abigail and Charlie hung back as the first song began to play and Carlie skipped out in between the two rows of seating, watching as Jacob smiled at her proudly and she dropped the petals that they had picked out that day in Port Angeles. Abigail felt like her dead heart was racing, her knees felt weak and wobbly, her breathing sporadic and unsteady, her palms sweaty. Of course, none of that really happened and she actually just stood there like a statue as, as soon as Carlie finished her little dance up the aisle, Jasper and Bella set out. But it still felt like that was happening, because she was marrying Carlisle today, taking her last name and replacing it with his, just like she should've done the moment they met. She never thought she would be this happy, this content, ever in her life. Without Carlisle, she was a mess. But she found her place, and that was at his side. It made sense; he completed her.

Jasper and Bella lined up on their rightful sides and Abigail stood on her toes to try and peak over at Carlisle, but Alice gave her a warning glance and Charlie gently tugged her down, chuckling into her ear.

"Give in a rest, kid. You'll see him in a few minutes."

"Not soon enough," she grumbled. Alice had forced them to spend the night apart, and it was sheer torture for her. It felt like she was being shredded into pieces each moment they were apart. But the guys all went to hunt and the girls had spa night—having hunted during the afternoon—and so Abigail forced herself to be pleasant and at least act as if she enjoyed herself. Which, truthfully, she did as she always enjoyed time with her daughters and granddaughter. But she still ached to see him, unable to calm down until she was at his side.

Without realizing it, only once Alice began to move did she notice, but Emmett and Rosalie were already in their spots, so Edward and Alice began their trek as well.

"We're next," she murmured, her grip tightening on Charlie's arm, but she was careful not to make it too tight; the last thing she wanted to do was break it just because she couldn't control her emotions.

 _Are they_ purposely _going this slow just to mess with me?_ she thought, hearing Edward snicker softly as he moved into position at Carlisle's side. Once she saw that, she no longer breathed, hearing the song change over to the song Edward wrote for her. It was beautiful and hopeful, joyous and wondrous. It was perfect for this occasion, after all, they defied all odds by finding each other again. Their lives were full of happiness and hope, and a long long future.

"Don't let me fall, Dad," she murmured, unable to keep her eyes away as the group in the seating slowly stood and looked for the house. She heard Charlie's breath catch and felt him squeeze her fingers tighter.

" _Never_ ," he said quietly and slowly she looked at him, grinning with unshed venom tears in her eyes, and he began to lead her out of the house.

* * *

**-Carlisle-**

While he had never been one to be impatient or frustrated, it seemed to be building up inside Carlisle for the past twenty-four hours. It started when he tried to insist to Alice that, since they had already married once before, the traditional _"the groom can't see the bride before the wedding because it's bad luck"_ argument was invalid. But she wouldn't hear of it, ever one for traditions Alice was, no matter how many times he told her that they didn't follow it the first time either. But she got Emmett and Jasper to drag him out the door, Edward following as _"lookout,"_ and off in the woods they went to hunt. It was torture, but he decided it wasn't nearly as bad as standing at the end of the aisle, watching his granddaughter and then children walk towards him, all the while waiting with baited breath for his bride to come to him.

When he heard Edward snicker, he gave him a questioning look, and his son just shook his head. Alice's look of warning might have had something to do with it, and together they arrived at their proper spots. Once they had, three things happened at one: Carlisle's breathing completely stopped, the music switched over to a new song, and the guests rose from their seats and turned to the end of the aisle in anticipation of Abigail's arrival.

"Calm down," Edward murmured to him, just loud enough for—hopefully—only him to hear. If any of the others did, they didn't indicate it. "She's almost here."

"I've been waiting fifty years, Edward," Carlisle murmured back. "I can't help it." His son didn't respond and Carlisle wasn't willing to look away from the end of the aisle to see the expression on his face.

He could hear them moving, soft words being spoken between Abigail and Charlie, their footsteps carrying them closer. He could tell the difference between Charlie's heavier footsteps in his dress shoes, and the muted clicking on Abigail's heels. _My girl, always in heels,_ he thought with a small smile. It was endearing watching her try and make up for her height with cute high heels, and a big personality. It was one of the many incredible things that he loved about her. Even in 1776 when heels weren't really part of everyday wear, she still found ways to make herself taller, and so he wasn't surprised in the least that she added them to her outfit for the day. And he wasn't sure if he was more excited to see what beautiful gown she and the girls picked out, or to see her beautiful face as she neared him.

As soon as she and Charlie rounded the corner, appearing between the last rows of seating, he decided that it was both, though he admitted that he couldn't focus on the gown when he saw the wonder of her image. It was like a dream, and Carlisle knew if he could sleep, he would be convinced it was just that. There was no possible way this beautiful creature was really meant for him. You would figure he would get used to the concept after having nearly two hundred years with her before, but as he gazed upon her then—breath caught in her throat, undead heart flipping around in his chest, butterflies in his stomach—he still didn't even quite believe it then. Not as she passed all of their guests, not as she quickly accepted a hug from Emmett, which made everyone laugh. And not even as her hand was taken from Charlie's arm, the man's lips pressing against the top of it, as he handed it over to Carlisle. Charlie gave him a stern look and a single nod as he moved to take his seat next to Billy in the front row.

Carlisle finally let out a breath, watching as the smile on her face stretch even wider, venom tears shimmering in her beautiful eyes. With a strict diet of animal blood, her eyes had finally faded from crimson into the topaz that marked her a _"vegetarian"_ vampire with the rest of her family. He would never forget the emerald of her human hues, but when he saw the ochre, he knew that everything would be perfect. Things were different and wouldn't go back to how they were in 1955; she was different, she had her old memories as well as some new ones, she had experiences before him that he wasn't apart of, and she wasn't the same as she was back then. But that didn't make him love her any less; in fact, he loved her even more, how much she's grown in the years that they had been apart.

* * *

**-Abigail-**

"Ready to do this thing?" Jacob asked, making Abigail roll her eyes as the guests laughed. Alice sighed dramatically behind her and Abigail giggled, knowing her daughter wanted everything to go exactly as planned, but was resigned enough to know that not everything could be exactly a hundred percent perfect, especially if Jacob was involved, he was a bit unpredictable. Came with being a wolf, she was sure, like the whole cocky and arrogant thing. That didn't mean he wasn't a good person, or that he wasn't happy for her, she could tell by the grin that lit up his face. It wasn't cocky or a condescending smirk, but genuine and that was the smile she loved to see on her brother's face.

However, she didn't spend much time looking at him as Carlisle had her full attention, her eyes flickering back to those familiar hues, so full of love and adoration and devotion that she could've fallen to her knees, but his hands in hers kept her standing, not willing to break from his gaze for one moment. They had forever, and she wasn't wasting one moment of it being away from him.

"Just start, Jacob," Alice hissed lightly, and the boy chuckled.

"Okay okay." He cleared his throat. "So I know there's a while bunch of official sh— _Stuff_ ," He corrected after a glare from Alice, "that I could say. But I don't know if all that stuff really counts here. Because all this? It isn't normal, it's not what you see in all those cheesy romances." He grinned. "It's so much better, and so much more enduring than all that. And they both deserve it. Carlisle's a good man, and Abigail is my sister, and they both deserve happiness, and more importantly, they deserve each other. I know Carlisle had something he wanted me to recite, so I'll do that and then let these crazy kids read their vows." From the pocket of his tux—the one Abigail insisted on buying no matter what Jacob said, and did so anyway despite his protest—he pulled a piece of paper that she could see Carlisle's neat, perfect scrawl on. She knew that moment that it was the exact reading that he had the pastor recite at their first wedding.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Abigail was right, and her heart filled with an aching love.

It was a passage from the Bible that had been read at almost every wedding that had ever occurred, however that didn't make it any less true or perfect for their relationship. It was how they worked, give just as much as they take, but both of them would give every drop of venom to keep the other safe and happy. Now that she was a vampire again, Abigail felt better about the dynamics of their relationship. No longer did Carlisle have to save her from psycho doctors or patch her up from falling in swimming holes. He didn't have to worry about her up and dying in something like a car accident or sickness. They were equal, they could protect each other.

Venom tears filled her eyes and she sniffed, squeezing his hands tighter as Jacob shoved the paper back in his pocket.

"Abi, why don't you go first," Jacob suggested, nodding to her as he interrupted her thoughts. Faintly she glanced at him, seeing the way he was grinning at her making her chest flutter, and she nodded quickly. Since her vampiric memory was second to none, she didn't need to have the physical piece of paper with her. She memorized it all the moment after she wrote down the words, though she re-wrote it countless times until it fit absolutely perfectly. But, even so, it didn't seem like enough.

"It seems like I met you a very long time ago," she started, a twinkle in her eyes causing a small laugh amongst the vampires and Jacob; none of the wolves knew the truth behind Abigail and Carlisle as it wasn't relevant. "There are no words that can express what I feel for you, Carlisle, and yet 'love' seems to be the most simple, and the most complex. It means so much to so many different people, but to me it means that you're my everything. You're the reason I exist." She paused. "More than once." A wink, another laughter, the wolves and Charlie confused, but of course they didn't say a word. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you, if I didn't _remember_ what I had without you. I never realized how lost I felt before you, and you found that girl, and showed her what it was meant to _truly_ be loved. I promise you, Carlisle, to always be with you, and to never _ever_ leave you again."

Abigail heard her daughters softly sobbing tearless cries behind her and normally she would be all over the comforting, but she couldn't. She couldn't look away, not from that look on his face. Devotion, love, adoration...it was the very look he gave her every time he gazed at her.

"Carlisle," Jacob murmured, his normally jovial voice mellow and she could hear him choke a little, and promised herself to threaten him with blackmail for that later.

"I promised myself to you many, many times, Abigail. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a woman to complete me the way you do. There will never be another woman that frustrates me or annoys me, or fills my heart with such joy. Because without you, there is no me. When I had lost you, I fell apart. But I'll never let that happen again. I vow to you to protect you and love you unconditionally. You're my everything, Abigail."

Venom tears swelled in her eyes and everybody seemed to be sniffling, though the boys behind Carlisle stared directly at the ground and refused to acknowledge that that's what was going on. Jacob cleared his throat a couple times, and she risked a peak over at her brother who shook himself and gave her a grin, showing her that he wasn't going to let her see that, but it didn't matter because she heard it, and it warmed her to know that her brother cared that much for her to get emotional.

"Carlie, can I have the rings, princess?" he wondered, smiling down at the girl adoringly. She skipped forward and placed them both in Jacob's large palms, who thanked her softly afterwards. He gave Abigail's to Carlisle and Carlisle's to Abigail. "So," he started, "you made your vows before everyone and God. The question is: do you, Abi, take Carlisle to be your husband?"

She nodded and eagerly pushed the ring onto his fingers, causing a chuckle to ripple through the crowd. "I do," she whispered.

"And Carlisle, do you take Abi to be your wife?"

He was a bit more gentle, but nonetheless excited as he pushed her ring on, the color matching her engagement ring. Both of them were older, of the time period they first met, and they had searched far and wide for them, finally paying a great deal to a museum in Georgia for them. But they were perfect for them, just what they needed, and it bound them together in ways that nobody would ever understand. The others vampires and wolves might have an idea of mating, but that didn't mean they understood the bond or the devotion that Abigail and Carlisle had for one another.

"So, by the power of Washington and the internet, you two are husband and wife." Jacob smirked. "Carlisle, you can kiss the bride." Abi rolled her eyes, but grinned at Carlisle; her lover, her mate, her _husband_. His large hands came up to cup her face, her own resting on his waist as they leaned in together, perfectly in synch. It was beautiful and magical, even those moments before they kissed. But once they did? _Oh_ , it was like the first time all over again. Sparks, fireworks, the pounding her—undead—heart, her knees turning to jelly. But Carlisle kept her up, his hands holding her and keeping her steady, always ready to pick her back up whenever she needed, just like he always did and always would.

Cheers sounded around them and still they didn't stop, not until they were both truly breathless, which was a feat considering neither of them needed to breathe. Both were grinning when they pulled back, unable to take their eyes off each other, as they leaned their foreheads together and took each other's hands.

"I love you, Carlisle Cullen," she whispered.

His smile grew wider. "I love you, too, Abigail Cullen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirty-five: 
> 
> \- [Abigail](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirty-five_second_chance/set?id=220357496)  
> \- [Carlisle](http://www.polyvore.com/carlisle_chapter_thirty-five_second_chance/set?id=220358106)  
> \- [Alice](http://www.polyvore.com/alice_chapter_thirty-five_second_chance/set?id=220357653)  
> \- [Edward](http://www.polyvore.com/edward_chapter_thirty-five_second_chance/set?id=220358530)  
> \- [Rosalie & Bella](http://www.polyvore.com/rosalie_bella_chapter_thirty-five_second/set?id=220357856)  
> \- [Jasper & Emmett](http://www.polyvore.com/jasper_emmett_chapter_thirty-five_second/set?id=220358012)  
> \- [Carlie](http://www.polyvore.com/carlie_chapter_thirty-five_second_chance/set?id=220360256)  
> \- [Wedding Decor](http://www.polyvore.com/wedding_decor_chapter_thirty-five_second/set?id=220358431)


	36. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, welcome to the final chapter of Second Chance at Forever! One small note real quick: there will be some _sexual content_ in this chapter, so if you want to skip it, it will be indicated by **.x.x.x.x.** both before and after it. As usual, it would have no plot defining moments in it, so you should be okay. I have very much enjoyed writing this story, and I hope y'all have enjoyed reading it just as much! I want to thank everyone who has taken the time out of their lives to read it, as well as to those who have commented. You have no idea what it means to me! Thank you so much for reading! I would love to hear your reviews, comments, thoughts, and questions about this story, especially this final chapter!

**-Abigail-**

Pictures were taken first thing on Alice's insistence, though Carlisle and Abigail tried desperately to disappear upstairs so they could have some time alone as  _finally_ husband and wife. But, as soon as they decided it, Alice was glaring them into submission so they had to patiently wait for Sue Clearwater—who had offered to take photos as her wedding gift—to take seemingly hundreds of photos of the whole wedding party. Jacob and Charlie wanted nothing to do with it, but Abigail tried both guilt tripping—which worked for Charlie—and finally pouting—which worked for Jacob—to get them to behave and at least stand still for a couple of them. When they again tried to get upstairs to spend some alone time, Alice and Emmett dragged them outside for the reception. Abigail was all for skipping it, but the least she could do was grant this wish for her daughter, who was so excited about the decorations and the cake that she had picked out.

Luckily it was on the smaller side—well, at least by Alice standards—as it had only four tiers with randomly placed white, lavender, and peach flowers. On a couple pedestals around the base were cupcakes decorated just the same that were mainly for Carlie, who had a sweet tooth and would have them gone by the end of the night, though the wolves helped themselves to a couple before it was time to cut the big cake only to face Alice's death stare until they slowly backed away and avoided her eyes as they filled their plates with the buffet food. Part of Abigail wished she could eat it as it looked incredible, but that was the lingering of humanity in her veins, because it smelled horrible and give it a year or two, and it would look like nothing more than slop.

Sticking with just the champagne that she tried the smallest sip of and decided it tasted like cat urine, she poured it out and went about mingling between the guests. The length of the dress started to get to her so she and Alice worked on picking up the train to pin to her side so she could walk and dance without tripping over anything, which even as a vampire, she was afraid she was going to do. The first dance with her and Carlisle was beautiful and venom tears lingered in her eyes the whole time. Never did they take their eyes off each other, focused merely on how it felt to be together. It was another song that Edward surprised them with, one he had Bella help him with apparently. The father daughter dance was with Charlie and surprisingly he didn't seem as awkward as she thought he would be. Of course that might have something to do with her leading, to which he didn't exactly look happy about, but she just winked at him and kept going. Towards the end, Carlisle and Alice swept onto the dance floor and Abigail decided it was a beautiful sight, her husband and daughter together. After that was done, Abigail was swept into Carlisle's arms once more before taking turns with Edward, Jasper, Jacob, and finally Emmett who didn't want to seem to let her go, but Alice made him when it was time to cut the cake.

But all through the ceremony and the reception, Abigail couldn't help but think about the honeymoon. While they did get one after their first wedding, this one would be far more extravagant and far more passionate, at least that's what Abigail thought. Carlisle wasn't one to hold back on money, and considering they still had those fifty years to make up for, she had a feeling that they wouldn't be leaving their bedroom for a few weeks. And since the thread of the Volturi was gone—they had told her all about what happened with Carlie and Irina and the Volturi during those few months in between Bella's wedding and the next time Abigail saw them—they had nothing to worry about or take care of until they decided to get back. And the children already knew not to call them unless absolutely necessary, and Emmett already decided that he wouldn't be the one to do so,  _"because I already heard Mom and Dad have sex enough as it is, I don't need to her it over the phone."_ Everybody had laughed at that, but the look on the poor boy's face made Abigail coo her apologies to him.

After the dancing, cake, and letting their friends eat up as much as they wanted to, Carlisle and Abigail were finally ready to depart. Alice dragged Abigail upstairs to get her changed out of her dress. It was sealed back in the garment bag and set in the back of the closet carefully along with the tux the boys had already given to Alice after Carlisle had changed out of it. The dress for the honeymoon that they had picked out was tight to the waist and flared down to her mid-thigh. It was a solid white with black tule over it with a design of different butterflies along it. She had on black heels with a strap around her ankles, her normal minimal makeup, her long hair braided down her back, a simple silver chain necklace, her mother's diamond earrings, and her rings. She would never be taking those off again, not for as long as she lived. Items she needed like her different IDs—driver's license, passport, birth certificate; all of which were fresh and new from Jasper's guy in Seattle—book, camera, lipgloss, and her wallet were put into a backpack purse that Alice had bought her for the occasion as well. Once she was all refreshened, she joined the others outside to bid them farewell.

Since there weren't a whole lot of people there, they formed a line that Abigail and Carlisle walked by so they could say goodbye. Everybody wished them good luck and a happy honeymoon, though Emmett refused to acknowledge that part which made Abigail smirk and giggle as she hugged him goodbye. The last couple people in line were Alice and Edward and her lovely children  _still_ refused to tell her anything which made her sigh in defeat and follow her husband to the waiting car, which the boys—including Jacob—had written  **JUST MARRIED** in large pink letters and attached balloons to the back, tying the strings around the handles of the backdoors. It was cute, Abigail had to admit, and she grinned as Carlisle helped her into the car even though they both knew she was perfectly capable of doing it herself.

Little bits of birdseed hit the windows as they drove through, waving one last goodbye to their family as they departed. It wasn't a hugely long trek away, so just a moment later they passed the edge of the woods indicated by the old sycamores, the lights faded from view and it was left to just them in the car with peaceful silence. Abigail let out an unneeded, soft sigh as she reached over and took Carlisle's hand, sending him a loving smile as he looked over to her. His own topaz eyes were full of light and love as he gazed upon her. As usual, he didn't need to look at the road as he curved through the dense trees, not even needing the headlights as they bumped easily over roots and rocks.

They didn't say anything; they didn't need to. Fifty years brought them back to this. Fifty years of being apart and simply wishing to be back together. Abigail still didn't know what happened between 1955 and 1984 where she wasn't existing. Was she in Heaven? Was she in Hell? Was she in Purgatory? The questions were never answered, and now that she couldn't dream, as that's how all of her memories came back to her, she didn't expect there to be any new developments. But deep down, she knew she didn't want to know anyway. Those fifty years didn't matter, where she was didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that Carlisle was alone and he never should've been. She should've been there, and she would always blame herself for letting herself get killed. It wasn't on Carlisle's shoulders; she was a vampire, she could've taken care of herself as much as Carlisle did. But she didn't want to dwell on her death or the fifty years the proceeded it. They were together, they were married, and they had their family; that was all that mattered.

"I love you," she whispered, her hand squeezing tighter, though not as tight as she could because she was still in that awkward  _"newborn"_ phase that meant she could probably snap off a couple fingers if she used all of her strength. Not that they couldn't get them back on, but it was against every instinct in her blood to hurt her mate, so the last thing she wanted to do was snap a part off him. So she squeezed gently, at least to her, it was still a lot harder than she would've embraced any of the humans, or even the wolves.

Somehow, his eyes got even softer as he gazed at her, not looking away even for a second as he turned out of the woods and onto the old highway. It was late enough there were no cars around, but just in case, Carlisle reached over to quickly click on the headlights. They didn't want anyone to be surprised of their sudden appearance. While they would walk away from any car accidents, humans had a tendency to succumb to them, and neither wanted to be the cause of that.

"I love you, too, angel," he said, bringing her hand up to his lips to press a soft kiss to. Her grin widened. "Are you ready for our vacation?"

Abigail let out a happy sigh. "Oh yes," she said, causing him to laugh. "I love Forks and I love our family, but sometimes it gets crowded with everyone in the house." Edward, Bella, and Carlie still lived on their own in the small cottage not too far from them, but they spent a lot of time at the main house. Abigail was glad her son and daughter-in-law got their privacy and deep down, she wanted it, too. It was something that they got a lot of after their first wedding. But they were parents this time around and they couldn't just move out and leave the kids behind. Though she had a sneaking suspicion that Emmett wouldn't mind for the simple fact that it would be less sex he would have to hear between them. Still, these weeks away would be more than helpful for all of them, though Abigail knew that during the moments they weren't lost in each other's bodies, she would be worried and calling her kids to make sure they were alright. She knew they would be, but it was her motherly instinct.

Part of her was bitter at first that she didn't get a gift, something that Carlisle had told her about when he first told her about the Volturi and the gifts of Aro, Jane, and Alec. But it was after Carlisle turned Edward and brought him to their family that she realized what her gift was: mothering. It was what she had always wanted the most in the world, and one reason she had become a nurse. She wanted to look after people, and what better way to do it than to become a nurse? Motherhood as a human was never really an option, even back in the eighteenth century, so nursing was her next best option. And when becoming a vampire, your best skill or ability is enhanced. Edward's mind reading, Alice's visions, Jasper's empathy, Bella's shielding, Rosalie's beauty, Emmett's strength, and Carlisle's compassion. Hers probably didn't seem as obvious as the rest of them, but it was there, her mothering and sense of protecting. It's what she lived for as a human, and what she died for as a human. She didn't try to escape because she didn't want her human friends hurt. She was shot because she jumped in the way to protect her mate. It was in her blood, and she would continue to cave to those instincts no matter what became of her in the end. Though she would keep that part to herself, because she was pretty sure it would be giving Carlisle the first vampire aneurism.

"But you don't want a house like Bella and Edward, do you?" Carlisle asked as if reading her very thoughts.

Abigail shook her head quickly. "Never," she said honestly. "I mean, if the kids wish to live away," She remembered that Emmett and Rosalie liked to live way for a decade or so once in awhile, "then I won't stop them. But I won't leave them behind."

"I'm sure they won't see it like that," he reasoned.

"I know," she sighed. "But...I can't, Carlisle. It needs to be their decision." He took a couple moments to look over her face before he finally nodded in agreement. While they had never discussed her  _"gift"_ of protection and motherhood, she had a feeling that he knew it all along. He knew her better than anyone, even better than she knew herself, so she knew that he probably figured it out before even she did; it took gaining Edward to figure that out.

"Alright, sweetheart," he murmured, pressing another kiss to her hand. "You'll have plenty of chances to call them during our trip."

"We'll have cell service?" she wondered. Carlisle merely grinned and she huffed. If he answered that, it would be giving away possibilities of where they were going. No cell service meant somewhere remote or something on the water like a ship. Cell service meant they would be closer to civilization and not so rural. Honestly didn't take him for wanting them to be someplace urban as it would give them less privacy, but she wasn't ruling anything out at that point. Though she hated to be kept in the dark, the idea of the surprise was truly fun because it had been such a long time since she had been surprised like that. The last time was during her living in Seattle and the other nurses surprised he with a birthday party. It was the year before her parents died, though, so she was more open to the idea of it. Now that she had her husband and family back, she was more than happy with surprises.

"You'll love it, that's all you need to know," he said simply and she rolled her eyes, but grinned.

Without stop, they drove directly to Seattle to catch their flight out of SeaTac; it was the closest international airport as Port Angeles was smaller and only went domestic. While they easily could've driven to New York and gotten a flight out of there, less time in the air, they decided it would be quicker overall just to catch the flight from Seattle. Abigail was excited to know at least that little bit of information, that they would be heading someplace outside of the United States boarders. Then again, she probably should've figured that out when Alice made sure she packed the passport that Jenks had made for her and given to Jasper.  **Abigail Cullen** it said and Abigail had jumped up and down when she read it, same with the driver's license. It had her picture on it, but altered for her new eye color, slightly different hair color (also thanks to the change), as well as her decrease in height. Emmett still howled with laughter every time she had to let people know that the vampire change actually made her shrink a couple inches.

They easily got through security and were some of the first on the plane thanks to the first class tickets they had. Of course they declined both a drink and food—they both made sure to hunt the night before the wedding because they knew they would be in the presence of humans for a little bit longer than normal, though Carlisle had gone with the boys and Abigail with the girls because of Alice's insistence that they spend the night apart—before settling into their seats and pulling out something to distract them. Abigail put in some earbuds and put on some of the recordings of Edwards songs that he had given her to put on her iPhone. She also pulled out her new copy of the Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe that Carlisle had helped her find. He debated on bringing medical journals to read through, but she talked him out of it saying he should leave the office at home this time, so he was reading Dante's Inferno in the original Latin. He had tried teaching her once around the turn of the century, but languages wasn't her strong suit so she usually stuck with the English translation, even though he had told her that the meaning was much clearer in Latin.

Barely did she look up when the plane began its taxying out of the runway. If she were still human, she would've been clutching Carlisle's arm as she hated flying. But considering that a plane crash wouldn't hurt her—unless it happened to decapitate or something and then catch on fire—she had no reason to fear it. A couple other people wren't so lucky and her nose wrinkled up as the nervous businessman in the back row ran into the bathroom for the third time, and Abigail was glad not for the first time that as a vampire then, she didn't get sick in any way.

But Abigail did wish now and again that she could sleep because it would make the time go by faster. As it was, her list of Edward's music ran out as did her Debussy, and her book was over quicker than she would've liked. Then again, she read a lot quicker than she used to as well. Since she hadn't brought a second one, stupidly, she focused instead on the music, closing her eyes and letting the classic sounds of the piano wash over her whole body. It was wonderful and comforting and a small smile lifted the corners of her lips for the remainder of the trip, not seeing that Carlisle had looked up from his book to ask about hers and simply sat there watching her until they reached JFK Airport in New York. Abigail felt like she should be yawning after that flight, but she was just as energized as always.

"Which gate?" she wondered, peaking over Carlisle's shoulder at the tickets, to which he quickly tucked them back in his inside jacket pocket with an amused grin. There was a board of flights behind her and she was going to try and find the gate number and then which location it lead to, but it appeared that the secret was still in effect. She pouted. "Just because I know where we're landing doesn't mean I know where you're taking me."

"You would figure it out. You're smart." He grinned and pressed a kiss to her forehead as he wrapped an arm around her and gently began leading her away.

"Can I at least know the continent?"

Carlisle chuckled heartily. "I love you, baby," he said simply, placed another kiss on her head, before leading her for the gate. It was gate twelve and she cursed herself for not taking longer to look at the board before he directed her attention away because she hadn't gotten to twelve before she asked him, so she didn't know where it was headed. He was probably grateful for that, if that little smirk on his face was anything to go by.

Again, they got on before everyone else because of their first class tickets and found their seats easily enough. Their passports were so good that the security didn't question them in the slightest which was best because the less they had to answer, the better. Because her book was already gone and most of her music was listened to—she had only classical on her iPhone along with Edward's compositions—she decided to just  _"sleep."_ Of course she wasn't really, but as a vampire, she could let herself wander into the depths of her mind and simply just  _be_ while she thought about everything and everything. A vampire's mind was endless and couple focus on more than one thing at a time. Granted there were times—like when she and Carlisle had sex—that she only thought about a single thing, but most of the time there were thousands of thoughts going through her mind. And she knew that Edward could only focus on the thoughts that were on the top, so if there were something they wanted to hide from him, all they had to do was think about it more deeply than those thoughts in the front. Aro, on the other hand, could read them all and that always made Abigail nervous. She hoped they didn't run into them during Charlie's lifetime because the last thing they needed was to have the have the threat of the Volturi on them again.

 _Makes me wish we all had Bella's shield,_ she thought wryly as she went through her other thousand thoughts for the duration of their flight.

"Abi? Abigail, my love. We've landed." Carlisle's melodic voice broke through her thoughts and slowly her eyes flickered open, letting go of those deep thoughts and focusing on those at the front; it was easy for her to do. When she focused on her husband, immediately the honeymoon was brought back to the surface and she grinned, nearly bouncing and vibrating in her seat—much in the style of Alice—as she quickly jumped up. Carlisle laughed behind her as she shoved her phone and everything into her carryon.

" _Now_ can I know where we are?" she asked with a wide grin as she lead the way off the gangway, tugging roughly on Carlisle's arm to get him to move faster, yet trying her hardest not to use her vampire speed to do so.

"Look there," he said, stopping her right outside the door and turning her slightly to the left. Abigail raised an eyebrow and her eyes quickly searched along the wall until she saw it: the flag along most of the wall; blue, white, and red vertical stripes in that order.

Abigail gasped and spun to him, eyes growing wide with barely contained excitement as she threw her arms around her mate's shoulders. " _France_?!" she said excitedly.

The smile on Carlisle's face was wide, charming, addicting, and contagious as it made her grin widen into a broad smile. People walked around them in a swarm as if they were a boulder in the middle of a fast-moving river, gaining some aggravated looks from various people, but neither of them cared as they were aware of only each other in that moment. As soon as she saw it was France, her mind went to one specific memory, but he raised a finger to put it to her lips.

"We're not staying here." She frowned. "But we need to keep moving, we have an appointment at the docks in thirty minutes."  _Docks?_ she wondered, but she didn't ask as she simply nodded, stole a quick kiss, and then let him lead her to the conveyer belt that was spinning luggage by.

Theirs were there almost as soon as they were and they each grabbed their own bag, though Abigail had to give him her  _"let me do it myself or else"_ look as he reached for hers. He held up his hands with an amused grin and she gave him a satisfied smirk as she easily lifted her bag off the carousel. There wasn't much in the way of clothes in there anyway. They didn't have to sleep, and they had plans to be naked most of the time, so anything more wasn't really needed. Alice had been the one to pack for her, so she wasn't expecting much more than small bikinis and even smaller lingerie. Though she wasn't complaining all that much.

Outside there was a car waiting, not a cab like most passengers were fitting themselves into, but a town car with a human driver that was clearly paid not to ask any sort of questions. Abigail was sort of surprised that he didn't get a private plane for the same reason, but she figured he wanted to go through this as normally as they could. It made her undead heart nearly start beating at the thought of his consideration with that. They really needed that normal right then.

The car ride was rather silent, but not uncomfortably so. Abigail sat leaning against Carlisle's side comfortably, their fingers intertwined together on his thigh while his other arm was wrapped around her shoulders, but she looked out his window to watch the country roll by. She hadn't been there since the turn of the century, so she wanted to see all she could before they went...wherever it was they were going that wasn't France, but apparently they had to go to the docks for. It was still frustrating and exciting at the same time, and Abigail actually started bouncing her leg even though vampires naturally were just still.

Carlisle chuckled in her ear quietly and it sent a shiver down her spine, though she ignored it for the time being as they were just pulling up along the docks. There weren't very many boats there, but there was a good-sized speed boat there that had  **SARAH-ANNE** written on the side of it. Raising an eyebrow, she glanced at her husband and he shrugged.

"That was my mother's name," he said quietly and she gave him a gentle smile and a kiss. She knew he didn't remember anything about her even as a human considering she died giving birth to him, but she loved that even then he still remembered her name. She squeezed his hand and kissed him tenderly before allowing him to help her out of the car. The driver already had the bags and was walking towards a large wooden sign that read  **BIARRITZ MARINA** next to the docks that went out into the ocean. Abigail had never been to Biarritz and wished she could see more, but perhaps at some other time she could. Right then the man next to her and the ocean before her called to her more than the city.

"Thanks, Henry," Carlisle was saying while Abigail took in everything around her. She turned as he spoke, watching him shake the driver's hand and hand over a wealthy tip before he put his palm on the small of her back and lead her down to the Sarah-Anne. He still held their bags which he let go of her hand momentarily to pack away at the back of the boat before helping her aboard. They didn't touch the lifejackets as they didn't need them so they went right to the seats at the front, Carlisle taking the helm.

It started up easily and a moment later Abigail realized that she could smell the gas in the containers stored along the side or their return trip as she has a feeling that they wouldn't be showing their faces until they were good and ready to do so. Abigail smiled as they drove along, bumping over the waves, squealing as the water splashed up onto them in a light spray, both of them laughing as she leaned over to scoop it up in her palms and dump it over his head, his golden blond hair sticking to his ears and forehead lightly, but he was still the most beautiful man she ever saw.

 _And he's all mine,_ she thought dreamily as the sun drifted out from behind cloud and shimmered across his skin, diamonds sparkling along the surface. It was mesmerizing and it had her attention for the remainder of their boat ride. Enough so that she didn't even realize she recognized where they were until they were nearly to the docks they were going to stop at. It was the island over Carlisle's shoulder, the one that was a few miles away, that finally brought her back to her whereabouts. She remembered looking at it from the shores of their own private little hideaway in 1900 and watching the exotic creatures on the other uncharted island in front of them. Nothing had changed other than the large resort that sat on it now, many people laying around on the beach and a few people surfing.

Abigail gasped and stood, her eyes flickering back to where they were headed and if she could still cry, she would be weeping. It was the island,  _their_ island, the same one they spend the year from June 1899 to July of 1900 in, laying out in the sun and just being themselves, being with  _each other_ for the new century. Carlisle had always taken her someplace alone, someplace special during a new century. 1799 to 1800 was spent in a very remote cabin along the shores of the Mediterranean Sea. They had missed 1999 to 2000, so she supposed this trip made up for that as well as being their honeymoon destination.

"Oh my god, Carlisle," she croaked, her voice hoarse and venom tears dwelling in her eyes. She reached over to clutch his wrist as she realized that absolutely nothing had changed since then. It was a shock that it was still so remote and uninhabited, but she knew some of the wildlife there wasn't exactly human-friendly so she supposed she wasn't too surprised. It was easier just to leave the island alone than it was to try and clear a safe spot or capture the animals. But for vampires, they weren't even close to a threat and so she knew that's why Carlisle didn't mind going back there.

"Welcome back, my love," he whispered, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist and dragging her back against his chest as soon as the Sarah-Anne was tied up along the dock.

"It's all the same," she murmured as she looked around, seeing that even the path into the small tropical house that they had stayed in was exactly in the same place.

"Of course it is. Why would I change it? You loved it this way."

She looked up at him and frowned. "I don't understand."

"The island is mine, Abigail." He smiled as her eyes widened. "Well, it's ours.  _Yours,_ to be more precise. It's Isle Abigail." More venom tears pooled in her eyes. "I bought it soon after that and I was going to surprise you at the turn of the next century, but..." He trailed off and they both ignored the implications of that. "The only people that have been here since us in 1900—besides the cleaning company—was Bella and Edward on their honeymoon."

Abigail slowly nodded, her mind whirling a mile a minute before she turned and flung her arms around his neck, jumping to lock her ankles around his waist, kissing him more passionately than she ever had before. She heard him moan against her lips and she couldn't help but grin, tightening her grip and kissing him harder, her fingers running up into his hair to make him purr. She clung to him, her body writhing, as she tried to express what she felt without saying the words. Truthfully, the words couldn't even come close to telling him how thankful she was for this gift, how thankful she was for him, how much she loved him. Words simply didn't exist for that, no matter if it were the English language or French or Latin or any of them. That was how much she loved him.

There was a slight breeze around them and to her slight surprise, she felt a soft bed underneath her back. But she was far too focused on him, on this man, to really focus on how they got there. Deep down she knew that he simply blurred them there, but as always, her thoughts were only on him. The way he was hovering over her, his delicious weight pressing against her body, the contrast between the fluffy sheets and the hardness of his frame.

**.x.x.x.x.**

_Oh, he's definitely hard,_ she thought giddily as she arched her hips up against him, smirking as she heard that delicious growl against her lips. She did it again and again, rocking her hips against his so he could feel how ready she was for him, and she could feel what awaited for her. This would be their first time after becoming husband and wife, and while she knew that originally he would've liked for it to be slow and full of worshipping of both of them, they were too deep into it to stop and change up their speed.

"Carlisle,  _please_ ," she whispered, whimpering as she arched against him. There was another growl that left his lips, beautiful and deep, and his hands quickly moved down her body. She barely herd the tears of the fabric, felt the way it shredded beneath his nimble fingertips. All she could feel, all she could focus on was the way that she could feel the fabric of his clothes and then a moment later his smooth skin against her own. She gasped softly, wiggling a little so the scraps of her dress fell away.

 _Alice is going to kill me for that,_ she thought for the briefest of moments before she ran her fingertips against the length of his smooth back at the same time she pressed her hips against his.

"Do you want me, wife?" Carlisle growled against her and she nodded quickly, nipping at his bottom lip before pulling her own between her teeth.

"I always want you, husband." She grinned. " _Take me_."

She roared as he did just that, thrusting inside her with a loud bang of their bodies together, a thunder-like sound echoing through the island. It was another reason a private island was best, just like it was best to play baseball when the thunderstorms appear, because of the noise that they made when they collided together. And oh god, did they collide, grinding and crashing together over and over, breath rushing out in unneeded bursts as dead lungs worked in almost a habitual way. But they craved it, their bodies moving in sync as they crashed over and over again together.

Onyx eyes met each other and didn't let go, both pairs taking in the sheer amount of lust, need, and want that clung within their swirling depths. They were lost together, desperate as Carlisle took her over and over again, making her cry out each time he filled her and he answered with a growl. It was beautiful and destructive as the bed groaned in protest beneath them only to splinter and then snap a couple moments later. Abigail giggled for only a second before Carlisle had her screaming and roaring in her first completion, never stopping as he continued to pleasure her and, in turn, himself.

Through the rest of the night, into the next morning, afternoon, evening, and night again they went, breaking more furniture and tumbling over that metaphorical hill over and over again. They never tired and they never slowed down, not for almost a week when they realized they should probably hunt.

**.x.x.x.x.**

"I think we should stay here naked in bed," Abigail pouted as she forced her body into a bikini top and a pair of shorts so short they might as well just be underwear. While Carlisle looked to be seriously contemplating it, his onyx eyes almost growing darker, he shook his head.  _Ever the protector,_ she thought with a wry smile.

"We'll hunt quickly and then get naked in bed again," he said in compromise, but she rolled her eyes and huffed.

"As if that weren't already the plan," she mumbled, letting him take her hand and lead her from the room, his laughter leading them into the trees.

The hunt went quick and they were back in bed a couple hours later, lost in each other once again. While they both knew that they couldn't stay there forever, they certainly wished they could. However, Abigail also knew how terribly she would miss her family; in fact, deep down, she already did. It took a lot for her not to call them every hour, but Carlisle had a way about him that distracted her so she could focus on them, which is what she really needed to do. The kids were fine and she knew it, and they would be terribly upset if she spent their weeks on vacation worrying about them. It was knowledge enough to ease her mind a little as she spend those weeks with her husband.

They wound up staying two weeks longer than intended, but only because Carlisle decided he actually wanted to show her Isle Abigail and not just the (completely ruined) bedroom. As happy as she was there to be with her husband, the plane ride back was too long, so once they went from France to JFK in New York, Carlisle chartered a private plane to take them straight to Seattle in half the time the regular commercial flight would've. Luckily for her, the kids and Jacob came to Seattle to meet them and she was pretty sure she could've broken glass with her squealing as she greeted each of them waiting for them in turn, saving Jacob and then Emmett for last, knowing they would hug her the longest. On the ride home, she was shoved between the two large boys in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes, catching is amused grin the rearview mirror.

"Private island, and you didn't even catch any sun," Jacob joked with her causing her to roll her eyes playfully. Carlisle laughed and turned his attention back to Alice in the passenger seat and their much quieter conversation.

Abigail Margaret Cullen looked between her children, her brother, her husband and knew this is exactly what life had intended for her. Good friends, good family, and so much love she could simply burst from it. She was born to be a vampire. She was born to have these children. She was born to have Carlisle.

She was born to have this  **second chance at forever**.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits for chapter thirty-six: 
> 
> \- [Honeymoon](http://www.polyvore.com/abigail_chapter_thirty-six_second_chance/set?id=220358951)


End file.
